


good old-fashioned loverboy

by tfc



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas Fluff, Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Halloween, Like really slow, M/M, New Year's Kiss, New Years, Scars, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Vacation, but slower, think glacial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 132,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27297238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tfc/pseuds/tfc
Summary: "Shuichi recaps his options quickly and comes to a conclusion. This is their best option. Pretending for just a few weeks and then ending their ‘relationship’ on amicable terms. No one gets humiliated, no one feels guilty, and everyone can come away without being stabbed. This is definitely the best way to make sure this ends in the best way possible."In which Shuichi asks Gonta for help, but it somehow spirals into a big mess. They keep getting dragged deeper into their crazy plot, which only brings them closer together.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Gokuhara Gonta/Saihara Shuichi, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito
Comments: 148
Kudos: 84





	1. Misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

> hihi!!! it's been a while :) i'm back, and with a multi-chaptered fic this time!! strap in, folx, this is gonna be a while.

Shuichi is currently not having a very good time.

And sure, the music is bumping, the food is good, and a bunch of his friends are here, but the girl next to him at the bar just won’t leave him alone. He’d normally rope Kaede or Kaito into giving him an out, but they’re both already with their girlfriends, all rather...busy on the dance floor. Shuichi just smiles, albeit tensely, and hopes the girl will take the hint that he’s really not interested.

Then her hand is on his thigh, and he’s even more uncomfortable. Shuichi looks around, hoping to catch a familiar face in the crowd that’s not preoccupied by locking lips with someone else. To his relief, there’s Gonta, towering above the rest of the partygoers as he awkwardly sways to the music. Shuichi catches his eye and waves him over, trying not to let his desperation show in his expression. He hopes he looks eager enough, otherwise this might not work.

Gonta manages to budge his way through the crowd—repeatedly excusing himself, Shuichi notes with an amused smile—and now stands before Shuichi at the bar. Shuichi yanks his leg out of the girl’s grip and hops up, smile still really forced. Gonta seems to notice, too, which bodes well for Shuichi’s possible out.

“There you are! I was getting worried,” Shuichi says as nonchalantly as he can, but Gonta doesn’t seem to get it, so he turns back to the girl at the bar as he takes Gonta’s hand. Shuichi really doesn’t wanna look at Gonta’s face when he does, either. “This is my boyfriend. I just met—ah, what’s your name?—I just met her a little while ago. You know, while I was  _ waiting for you.” _

He emphasizes the last bit by squeezing Gonta’s hand, a silent  _ get me out of here, _ but Gonta still looks confused. “Uh...Shuichi? What you talking about?” Gonta mumbles, barely audible over the blasting pop music.

The girl looks unconvinced; it’s the opposite of what Shuichi had been hoping for, so he loops his arms around Gonta’s neck and tugs him down into a hug. “She’s making me really uncomfortable by touching me without asking,” he explains in a whisper, and Gonta’s arms wrap around him protectively. “Please just pretend to be my boyfriend for a little while so she’ll leave me alone.”

“Of course,” Gonta tells him quietly, sounding both worried and furious at the same time. Relief floods Shuichi and he smiles, confident that she’ll leave him be now. “No worries, Shuichi, Gonta gonna protect you.”

They pull apart, Shuichi plastering a grin on his face as they do so. He turns back to the girl and tries not to let his distaste show. “Do you mind if he takes your seat?” Shuichi asks as he blinks innocently, and the girl merely grumbles before getting up and storming off. Shuichi lets go of Gonta and slumps back onto his barstool. “Thank you, Gonta. I owe you one.”

“No worries! Gonta just happy he can help,” he chirps, and Shuichi chuckles at how enthusiastic Gonta’s being. His smile fades, though, as he looks towards Shuichi. “Sorry she make you feel uncomfortable. And sorry Gonta not catch on quicker. Gonta not very smart…not really all that observant.”

Gonta says it so honestly, completely different from the way the girl from earlier had attempted to fish for compliments, and Shuichi wonders if that’s really how Gonta sees himself. “Don’t say that, you’re plenty smart,” he says easily, and Gonta’s eyes go wide. “Besides, I'm not very good with expressing my emotions anyway, and it ended up fine, so no harm, no foul.”

Unfortunately, as he says that, it looks like there might actually be harm and/or foul heading his way, because the girl from earlier is now ranting at Kaito and jabbing a finger in their direction. In an attempt to keep the charade believable and keep the girl away from him, Shuichi takes Gonta’s hand again. This, much to Shuichi’s chagrin, doesn’t stop Kaito from coming over towards the bar.

“You  _ said _ he was single,” he hears the girl hiss, and this night just keeps getting worse and worse. “You didn’t tell me he was gay!”

“He’s not! I’m sure there’s a good explanation for all this,” Kaito tells her, and Shuichi groans as they finally get to the bar. “Yo, Shuichi, since when are you dating anybody? My friend here thought you two hit it off.”

Shuichi looks helplessly at Gonta, who looks equally as uneasy. He prays that Gonta will forgive him for the stupid mess they’re about to be in. “I-I just—we didn’t want to tell anybody yet,” Shuichi attempts, and Gonta gets it rather fast, nodding fervently.

Kaito still looks suspicious, and Shuichi would much rather not have to continue the list of reasons why he doesn’t want to date someone so pushy. So he leans closer to Gonta and cups his cheek, smiling softly. The girl stomps off again in a huff, and Shuichi lets out a sigh of relief. He’s about to let Kaito in on their little game when he’s suddenly being smothered in a bone-crushing hug.

“I can’t believe it! You found somebody all on your own! Cheers!” Kaito booms, and Shuichi has half a mind to chastise him for treating him like a child. Thankfully, Kaito lets him go in order to punch Gonta’s shoulder playfully. “You sly dog, you coulda told me you were datin’ my sidekick! I’m so damn happy for you guys! Oh, wait ’til Kaede hears about this, she’s gonna flip when I tell her I found out before she did!”

He dashes off, presumably to spread the word, and Shuichi would very much like it if the ground could swallow him whole now. Gonta seems equally stunned, cheeks red with embarrassment as he blinks in surprise. They both flinch when they hear a familiar booming laugh and a shriek from across the bar; the void is taking much too long to take Shuichi away.

Kaede bustles up to them, looking rather peeved as she flicks Shuichi’s forehead. “You told space nerd before me?! What happened to ‘When I finally get a partner, you’ll be the first to know,’ huh?!” she demands, and Shuichi cringes. His fingers are still interlaced with Gonta’s, which is the next thing she locks into. She goes from playfully angry to delighted in the blink of an eye. “Oh, it’s Gonta! I’ve always liked you, y’know, such a gentleman, you really  _ do _ have good taste, Shuichi.”

While positively giddy at the praise, Gonta still looks uneasy, so Shuichi opens his mouth to explain what’s really going on. Just his luck, he’s cut off by Kaito. “Man, you and me have  _ really _ gotta hit the gym more, Shuichi. You gotta start catching up to your boyfriend,” he teases, and if Shuichi could choose to die right here, right now, he would.

“Shuichi not have to feel like he gotta catch up with Gonta, Shuichi already very strong,” Gonta blurts out, and Shuichi dies a little inside. Kaede and Kaito both direct their attention to him, and he shrinks back. “Ah, what Gonta mean was—!”

“Alright, what’s this I hear about someone getting a boyfriend?” Maki’s voice cuts in, and she freezes as soon as her gaze lands on their joined hands. Then, in a flash, she’s got a knife—where had she even gotten that from?—up to Shuichi’s neck and a glare cutting into his soul. “I swear to God, Saihara, if I hear you broke his heart…”

Kaito hurries to pull her back, and the two of them just smile awkwardly. “You really don’t have to worry about that,” Shuichi tells her. And she doesn’t. Because they’re not dating. “If you guys would just let me explain—”

He’s cut off by a squeal, one that can only belong to Tsumugi. She claps—and she’s brought Rantaro and Kokichi along too, how lovely—and puts a hand on either boy’s cheek. “Oh, you two are just adorable!” she gushes, and Rantaro chuckles; Kokichi looks like he’s thinking, which is never a good sign. “I told you he’d find someone!”

Not entirely sure which one of them she’s referring to and honestly not really wanting to know, Shuichi just nods and tries to explain yet again. “Aw, man, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to see such gross, icky affection tonight,” Kokichi groans, and Shuichi rolls his eyes. “You sure have an...interesting taste in guys, Shuichi.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?!” he snaps, not wanting Gonta hurt over Kokichi’s usual antics. The purple-haired gremlin in question merely shrugs and orders an exotic-sounding drink. “It doesn’t even matter what my taste in guys is because we’re—”

“In love! They’re totally in love!” Kaede finishes for him. It’s definitely  _ not _ what he was going to say, but that doesn’t seem to matter to the now growing crowd. Shuichi can pick out nearly all of his classmates. “I can see it on their faces! Just look at him, Shuichi’s got it bad for our bug boy!”

Incredibly embarrassed, Shuichi hurries to correct them, but he can’t get a word in above everyone else clamoring about the two of them, which is really not ideal. “You wanna get outta here?” Gonta mumbles, quiet enough that Shuichi’s fairly certain no one else can hear. “It okay if you not wanna go with Gonta, but he just figure...very loud. Invasive.”

Nodding, Shuichi follows him as he cuts through the crowd, their hands still clasped together. It’s almost comforting. It’s so much nicer outside; cool and calm and the only sounds being that of the cars passing by and a few crickets. “I’m really sorry I dragged you into this,” Shuichi says with a sigh. “I didn’t mean for any of...that...to happen.”

A bit red in the face, Gonta waves him off. “Ah, it no big deal. Shuichi needed help, so Gonta not mind a little misunderstanding,” he says, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “Shuichi and Gonta just explain it tomorrow, right?”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Shuichi agrees, and Gonta smiles gently at him. They sit together on a bench, distinctly a bit apart but not to an unfriendly degree. Shuichi’s always liked people-watching, but he groans when he realizes that he recognizes one of the people outside. He takes hold of Gonta’s hand, and the taller boy glances down at him with concern. “It’s that girl again. She’s out for a smoke, I don’t want her to bother me.”

Satisfied with that reasoning, Gonta nods and leans back. His thumb brushes over the back of Shuichi’s hand, but he doesn’t seem to be conscious of the movement. Gonta smiles softly at him, and Shuichi smiles back, though it falls once he realizes that the girl is coming over towards them.

Gonta sees his demeanor change, and pulls him just a bit closer. “Shuichi, you want Gonta to tell her to go away?” he asks, voice deadly serious. Shuichi considers it for a minute, but just shakes his head. She might not be coming over to be rude, after all.

“So...you two are actually dating?” she asks, and before either of them can say anything, she crosses her arms and huffs. “Well...that’s cool. It’s whatever. I just haven’t had a date in, like, two years. My last boyfriend turned out to be gay.”

Not entirely sure why she’s telling them all of this, Shuichi just nods. “Um, Shuichi? Maybe we should head back to dorms now,” Gonta mumbles, and he’s about to agree when the girl continues, this time slightly hysterical. Shuichi suspects she might be a little more drunk than he’d initially thought.

“Y’know, I wish I could be happy like you guys,” she says, her voice wavering. “C-Can you just…? D’you think there’s enough love out there somewhere for me?” Neither of them really know what to say to that, so they stay silent. The girl’s drunken rant continues, and she starts waving her hands in front of her face like she’s going to cry. “You guys just—! You look like you love each other so much, a-and I wish I had something like that! Well? Go ahead and kiss already, why don’t you?!”

She goes from hysterical to huffy in an instant, hands on her hips, and Shuichi looks over to Gonta nervously. He doesn’t really know how to react to that; the most this girl has seen them doing is holding hands, and yet she’s apparently convinced they need to kiss, right here, right now. Shuichi bites his lip and shrinks back under her intense gaze. Maybe they can just do a quick peck and she’ll leave them alone; but how’s he supposed to suggest that to Gonta when she’s right there? Not to mention, to the best of Shuichi’s knowledge, Gonta’s never even dated anyone, and Shuichi’s not about to steal a first kiss from him.

He leans closer, putting a strategic hand on the side of Gonta’s face that’s facing the girl. Gonta’s eyes go wide, and Shuichi prays he’ll forgive him for what he’s about to do. Rather than directly in the center, Shuichi presses his lips to the opposite corner of Gonta’s mouth as briefly as possible. There’s a vague sound of footsteps approaching, but Shuichi figures that’s probably people coming out of the club. As he pulls away, he watches the girl nod, seemingly thoughtful, and walk away, and then his gaze switches to the awed faces of Kaede, Kaito, Maki, and Kokichi. Great, exactly who he didn’t want to have seen that.

“Holy shit!” Kaito shouts triumphantly, and Shuichi knows there’s definitely no getting out of this now. “You two are smackin’ face! Absolutely shameless, bro.” He says the last sentence with a grin, but the teasing tone does nothing to stop Shuichi’s entire face from turning bright red.

Kaede gives him an uncharacteristically wicked grin, and Shuichi ducks his head away, letting his hand fall from Gonta’s equally flushed face. “Oh, come on, don’t be shy, we’re happy for you guys,” she says, and as Shuichi opens his mouth to explain what’s  _ really _ going on, she tuts. “And now you can’t say it’s not what it looks like because we just saw you two!”

Begrudgingly, Shuichi admits she has a point. He sighs quietly and gives Gonta what he hopes comes across as an apologetic look. Kokichi has slipped away, most likely to spread the word amongst their classmates. Maki heads over to the two of them, her face unreadable and her arms crossed over her chest. It suddenly feels a lot less like a silly misunderstanding and more like Shuichi’s about to lose at least two of his fingers.

“...I’m happy for you two. Don’t break up,” she says simply, a pointed look at Shuichi, and he gulps, hopefully not audibly. “But if there’s too much PDA, I won’t hesitate to kick either of your asses. I don’t want you clogging up the hall in the dorms because you’re too busy making out to move.”

Shuichi feels his ears turn red, and he waves the sentiment off. He tries again to explain, already knowing it’s probably a fruitless effort. “Th-There’s no need to worry about that sort of stuff because we’re not—”

“Aww, they’re still being shy about it! Stuck on the just-out-of-a-crush phase, I see,” Kaede coos, and Shuichi resists the urge to scream at the absurdity of the situation. Will one person please just let him finish a sentence?! “No need to be shy, you two, you can be as affectionate as you want!”

Gonta looks over at him rather timidly, and Shuichi smiles back, hoping his nervousness doesn’t show on his face. It’s Gonta’s turn to try to get through to their bull-headed classmates, though Shuichi doubts his co-conspirator’s attempts will be any more successful than his own. “Gonta not really sure that—”

He’s cut off by a ridiculously loud whooping noise from Kaito, and Shuichi closes his eyes in exasperation. “I can’t believe my sidekick finally found somebody! This is definitely a cause for celebration, dude, let’s head back to the dorms and...I dunno, bake a cake or something!”

“O-Or we could  _ not _ do that,” Shuichi says quickly, and Gonta looks just as embarrassed as Shuichi feels. Kaito rolls his eyes and yanks on Shuichi’s arm. He’s wrenched away from Gonta as Kaede, Kaito, and Maki start leading him away from the building and in the direction of their campus. “Kaito, really, don’t make a big deal out of this, I promise you, i-it’s really not—”

“It  _ is _ a big deal, man! Now I can take you and the big guy on double dates with me and Maki Roll! And I can give you super good advice,” Kaito tells him, a determined grin ever-present. Shuichi closes his eyes and sighs. He’s in too deep, and no one will listen to either of them. Over his shoulder, he spots Gonta trying to catch up with them. “Plus, I’m glad my sidekick finally found somebody that makes him happy, y’know? I’m proud of you, bro.”

Shuichi gives him a shaky smile. Well, now he just feels bad. Kaito’s really excited to have this to...bond over, maybe? Whatever the case, Shuichi feels bad for having to pop the bubble. But it has to be done, right? He can’t just let everybody think he’s dating Gonta. That wouldn’t be fair to him or to Gonta. That excited, proud smile on Kaito’s face makes Shuichi second-guess, but it’s out of the question, it’s…

Maybe he can let it drag on a little longer. If only because he’s a sucker for validation. Not too long, though, and obviously he’s not going to if Gonta’s uncomfortable with the idea. Would it really be so bad to pretend to date someone, though? And Gonta’s really nice, he would understand...Ah! What’s he thinking? That’s absurd!

Amidst all of his panicked thoughts, he hadn’t realized how close they’d gotten to the dorms. Shuichi sighs and resigns himself to talk with Gonta tomorrow as he reaches for the handle of the front door, but a much larger hand takes it before he can. Gonta beams at him as he holds the door open for their little group, and it’s only after the rest of them have entered that he comes into the lobby of the dorms himself. Shuichi smiles and shakes his head fondly. Ever the gentleman, that one.

Kaito raises an eyebrow at him and smiles knowingly, but Shuichi honestly doesn’t know what he’s alluding to. Then he nods his head towards Gonta, and Shuichi goes red. He crosses his arms and glares as best he can; the mere notion they’d be doing something like that feels like a slight, especially given Gonta’s innocence in that department. It surprises Shuichi, however, when Gonta steps up next to him and smiles nervously.

“Sh-Should Gonta walk Shuichi to his door?” he asks, and Shuichi just nods, cheeks a bit pink. It’s only a few steps away, but Gonta walks him over anyway. The others stand in the lobby watching their every move, and the two of them walk very stiffly over to Shuichi’s door. Gonta lowers his voice. “I-It felt like gentlemanly thing to do. Um...goodnight, Shuichi.”

The others still watching, Shuichi stands on his toes and tugs Gonta’s tie just slightly so he can whisper without being heard. “Meet me in my room tomorrow before breakfast so we can talk,” he murmurs, pressing a quick kiss to Gonta’s cheek as a cover. Gonta nods and smiles awkwardly at him. “Goodnight, Gonta.”

As he closes the door behind him, Shuichi realizes the gravity of the situation he’s in. Everyone in their class thinks he and Gonta are dating. No need to panic, surely he can come up with something that’ll convince his classmates of the truth behind the surface. A way to tell everyone the exact story, what put him and Gonta into that situation in the first place.

No, no, he can’t do that, Shuichi can’t tell everyone about the pushy girl without Kaito feeling guilty, and he can’t have that. It hadn’t been Kaito’s fault, he couldn’t have known that the girl would be that pushy, so Shuichi can’t have him blaming himself for the predicament Shuichi had been in last night. No, he definitely has to come up with something else.

Maybe he could tell them it was all just one really big misunderstanding. Surely they’d get it then! How would he explain away the ‘kiss’ that Kaito, Kaede, Maki, and Kokichi had seen, though? Surely the news of it must be being spread around like a wildfire because of Kokichi’s involvement. There would also be almost no way to explain why they’d been acting like a couple in the first place without making Kaito feel guilty, and Shuichi had already opted out of giving everyone the objective truth. It also wouldn’t explain why Shuichi had given Gonta a kiss on the cheek before saying goodnight, either.

He really has to think through his actions more thoroughly before he does things.

Another option—his last, really, at least that he can think of right now—is to go through with it. To pretend to date Gonta for a few weeks and then stage an amicable breakup. One that lets him off the hook with Kaito without making him feel bad, and one that hopefully lets him survive Kirumi and/or Maki’s wrath. Both girls are weirdly protective of Gonta, and the last thing Shuichi would want to do is piss either of them off.

He’d have to set up parameters. Specific guidelines on what is and isn’t okay or comfortable between them, which kinds of PDA are fine and which are off-limits. It isn’t going to be easy to get Gonta to agree, given his classmate’s vehement dislike for lying in general, but maybe if Shuichi points out what he’s come up with, then they can work out a solution that’s mutually beneficial.

What is he saying?! This whole thing is absurd! He should just clarify everything and be done with it! The entire idea is scatter-brained and stupid and  _ damn it _ if Shuichi isn’t just the slightest bit curious as to what it might be like. Gah! No! What?! He can’t think like that, to use Gonta as some kind of experiment is an awful thing to do!

But it’s technically—completely scientifically speaking, obviously—not an experiment. It’s just...a trial run, of sorts. Of what it  _ would _ be like to date someone. What it would be like to date anyone, really, and see how the class reacts. Most of Shuichi’s ‘relationships’ have either been failed blind dates, the occasional unsatisfying hookup, or the one relatively serious one that ended with Kaede confessing that she’s actually a lesbian. Which, of course, he holds no grudges about, but it’s a little awkward to think his only legitimate relationship had been with someone that wasn’t even attracted to him.

And it’ll be good for Gonta, too! Probably. Somehow. Shuichi still has to figure that out. Maybe Gonta’s need to protect his friends will override the awkwardness, and he’ll want to save Shuichi from whatever fate awaits him by Kirumi and Maki’s hands if they make ending this misunderstanding even a remotely messy affair. Yes, surely he’ll want to make sure Shuichi isn’t affected by things being cleared up, and this idea will ensure that neither of them have to feel guilty about throwing the other under the bus.

Shuichi recaps his options quickly and comes to a conclusion. This is their best option. Pretending for just a few weeks and then ending their ‘relationship’ on amicable terms. No one gets humiliated, no one feels guilty, and everyone can come away without being stabbed. This is definitely the best way to make sure this ends in the best way possible.

So why does he fall asleep that night with a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach?


	2. The Rules

Shuichi wakes up early that morning, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he checks the time. It’s seven, half an hour before he’s usually up for breakfast. Shuichi sits up, and immediately gets hit with why he’s up so early. The blush on his face intensifies when he remembers kissing the corner of Gonta’s mouth, and he bites his lip as he remembers that they’re supposed to talk about things this morning.

As if on cue, he hears a quiet knock on his door, and he stands, dread settling in the pit of his stomach. Surely, Gonta won’t be angry with him, that’s just not how he is. Shuichi smooths down the creases in his pyjama shirt as he hurries over to the door, hoping his bedhead isn’t as bad as it normally is. When he opens it, Gonta’s standing there rather awkwardly, fully dressed, and the sight of it nearly makes Shuichi laugh.

“Ah, Gonta hope he not too early...what did Shuichi wanna talk about?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi opens up the door further to let him into the room, shutting it once they’re both inside. As Shuichi’s pondering over how to bring the topic up in a way that won’t make Gonta think his half-assed plan is absolutely insane, Gonta lets out a quiet giggle. At Shuichi’s questioning glance, Gonta explains, “S-Sorry, Shuichi’s hair just—it look very...un-neat.”

So it  _ is _ as bad as it always is. Shuichi laughs, ignoring the way his face heats up, and he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “So, uh, I figured we should probably talk about what happened last night,” he starts, and Gonta gets visibly flustered. “Um, b-before you say anything, can I just...I have a kind of idea. Well, it—it isn’t very well thought out, but I still—it could definitely work.”

Gonta smiles at him. “Gonta sure that Shuichi know what’s best to do,” he says, and Shuichi doesn’t really know how to respond to that sort of praise. “Shuichi very smart, s-so Gonta trust his judgement! That what Gonta meant.”

“Right, well, um...my idea is sort of a-awkward, so if you don’t think it’s good or if you just don’t feel comfortable with it, I totally understand,” he prefaces, and Gonta tilts his head in confusion, brows furrowed so that they create a tiny crease between them. “I-I was thinking that we could pretend like...like we  _ are _ dating, and then stage a breakup in a few weeks. A friendly one, so that Kirumi doesn’t kill me and Kaito doesn’t feel guilty about setting me in that position by accident.”

“Oh, um...give Gonta a minute to think?” Gonta asks, cheeks red, and Shuichi nods quickly, feeling his own face starting to flush. It’s an incredibly big thing to ask, so the least he can do is give Gonta some time to make a decision. They stand in silence awkwardly for a moment before Gonta speaks up again. “...Okay. Gonta can pretend with Shuichi.”

Some form of either relief or intense anxiety washes over Shuichi, and he gives Gonta a very shaky smile. “Alright, well, I guess we should probably establish some ground rules before we get to breakfast, just so we know what is and isn’t okay,” he says, and Gonta just blinks at him, so Shuichi leads him over to the bed and sits. Gonta follows him, hands clasped in his lap. “So, let’s start with comfort level. How okay are you with hand holding?”

Gonta’s shoulders lose their tension, and he smiles. “That sound fine, as long as Shuichi okay with it too,” he says, and Shuichi just nods. He’s trying to think of what else they’d need to do around their friends to convince them, and he’s surprised when Gonta suggests something on his own. “What about hugs? Hugs okay with Shuichi?”

“Ah, yeah, hugs are just fine! In terms of kissing…? I’m assuming we’re not doing much PDA, but some of our classmates will definitely be harder to convince than others,” he explains, and Gonta nods, worrying at his bottom lip as he does. “I’m personally fine with whatever, but you probably have more boundaries for that than I do, so I don’t want to do anything without your consent.”

“Gonta...fine with cheek kisses. A-And forehead kisses, too, but...Gonta never really kissed anybody before, so Gonta might not be good at, um,  _ kisses _ kisses,” Gonta tells him with a very flushed face, and Shuichi hums, though the wording throws him off a bit. Would Gonta be open to regular kisses? Is it just that he’s afraid he won’t be good at it? “B-But Gonta wanna do everything he can to help Shuichi’s plan, b-because Shuichi know best!”

Shuichi hurries to reassure him. “We really don’t have to if you don’t want to! That can be put on a back-burner, if you’d like,” Shuichi says, and Gonta looks relieved as he nods again, smiling weakly at Shuichi. “You can put your arms around me, too, if you’d like. That seems like a...like a couple-y sort of thing to do, don’t you think?”

In all honesty, Shuichi’s not entirely sure how this whole thing is supposed to work. He’s never  _ really _ been with a guy for long enough to know how to function as a couple, and he’d rather not mess up any preconceived notions Gonta has about what relationships might be like. This whole situation is frankly ridiculous, and Shuichi doesn’t quite know if regular couple rules apply in their case. Maybe they should be following a completely different playbook.

“That sound like something a couple does,” Gonta agrees after a bit, and Shuichi gives him as encouraging of a grin as he can muster. Thankfully, it seems to lift his co-conspirator’s spirits a bit, because Gonta offers up another suggestion. “What about hair? It okay if Gonta fix your hair sometimes, Shuichi? L-Like brushing your bangs out of your eyes…”

To demonstrate, he leans forward a bit and does exactly that. His fingertips barely brush over Shuichi’s skin, but the contact feels electric. It’s probably due to the adrenaline from creating such a convoluted plan, so Shuichi just writes it off as such. It almost tickles; the strands brush ever so gently across his forehead as Gonta lifts them back, and Shuichi resists the urge to sigh in contentment at the touch. The thought that he’d been tempted to do such a thing makes his cheeks go a bit pink.

Then the touch is gone, and Shuichi suppresses a shudder. “Y-Yeah, that’s fine too, hair touching is...it’s fine, it’s probably what couples do,” Shuichi agrees, and Gonta beams at him, probably glad his suggestion had been good. “Now, um...arms around the waist is fine with me too, and I wouldn’t be opposed to leaning on your shoulder if you’re alright with it.”

“That sound good. And Shuichi sure he okay with everybody thinking he’s dating Gonta?” Gonta asks suddenly, and Shuichi blinks at him, not really understanding what he means by that. “Ah, Gonta just mean...Gonta not sure he’s Shuichi’s...best option. Gonta not exactly e-experienced or good at this sort of stuff.”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine. Besides, it’s only for a few weeks, and then things can go back to normal,” Shuichi assures him, and Gonta nods thoughtfully. “Oh, um, we should also probably agree not to tell anyone else about this. Otherwise, it might get to someone like Kaito or Kokichi, and I don’t really want to know what’ll happen in that case. And we should come up with a code word, in case either of us feel uncomfortable with something.”

Gonta taps at his chin, then lights up. “Oh! What about laundry? That way, it not sound weird to anyone else when we say it,” he suggests, and Shuichi grins, agreeing easily. It’s a great idea, in all honesty, and Shuichi’s a little sheepish to admit he hadn’t been expecting one from Gonta. “If Shuichi okay with it, maybe him and Gonta can hold hands at breakfast?”

Nodding, Shuichi let’s out a tiny sigh of relief. “You know, I honestly didn’t know if you’d be on board with something like this,” he admits, and Gonta gives him a curious look. “I-I just...I guess it’s technically lying, even if we’re doing it to make sure no one feels guilty and so that I’m not stabbed to death in a few weeks. I should probably thank you, in any case. I really do appreciate it, Gonta.”

“Of course! Gonta always happy to help Shuichi, e-even if sometimes it not a very gentlemanly way of helping,” he says, cheeks a bit pink. Shuichi chuckles and gives Gonta what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “But, um, Shuichi and Gonta should get down to breakfast soon, yeah? It almost time to eat with everybody.”

Shuichi hadn’t realized that so much time had passed. He nods and stands, offering a hand to Gonta. Both of their faces are rather red as they leave Shuichi’s room, hands clasped. Thankfully, none of their classmates are in the lobby of the dorms, so Shuichi lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and gives Gonta’s hand a squeeze. Chances are, the rest of their class will probably already be in the dining room, and Shuichi’s not exactly looking forward to the impending conversation.

The room falls silent as soon as Shuichi and Gonta appear in the doorway, and Shuichi gives everyone an awkward wave, face red when he realizes that everyone is staring at their joined hands. They sit down in their usual seats, still both flustered under the complete silence of their classmates. If it had been this quiet normally, Shuichi would be thanking whatever deity it took to silence their ridiculously loud peers, but it just feels awkward right now.

“Good morning, lovebirds!” Kaede chirps, thankfully breaking the silence with an unfortunate phrase. Shuichi smiles nervously at her, and she passes him a plate with a beaming grin. “I’m so glad you decided to join us! We were all wondering why you were a little late.”

“Oh,  _ please, _ babe, they were probably just playing tonsil tennis,” Miu snickers, and Shuichi goes bright red and vehemently tries to deny it. “Come on, Poo-ichi, nothing to be ashamed of! I hope it was a good fuck! How much you wanna bet Shit-hara’s ass is gonna hurt for the next few days, Momota?”

Kaito seems to be holding back a laugh, and Shuichi gives him a look of complete and utter betrayal. Surely no one  _ actually _ thinks that’s what they were doing, right? Shuichi glances over to Kaede, who’s also traitorously laughing at his embarrassment. Gonta looks rather confused, but Shuichi doesn’t really want to explain the joke.

Finally, he finds his voice again. “It wasn’t anything like that and you know it,” Shuichi tells them all in a flat voice, and Gonta’s thumb runs over the back of his hand. Kaede shrugs, Miu rolls her eyes, and Kaito gives him a gaudy wink. Shuichi’s gaze finds Kirumi, who seems to be staring daggers at him in an attempt to get him to wither and die. “I-I just...we were just talking this morning. That’s all. No innocences ruined today, l-let me assure you.”

Kirumi seems satisfied with that, and she turns back to her breakfast. Shuichi bites his lip and turns back to the trio that’s currently making sex jokes and blowing off what he’s saying. “I honestly can’t believe it. I mean, sure, it’s possible, but we don’t even know how long they’ve been dating!” Kaede says suddenly, and Shuichi feels a spike of fear go down his spine. She turns to the two of them. “Say, how long  _ have _ you two been together anyways?”

Gonta looks panicked, so Shuichi steps up to the plate. “Just a few weeks. It’s nothing big, really, super casual,” he tells them, and Gonta just nods. “We’re taking it pretty slow, we don’t want to mess up our friendship if things don’t work out, you know?”

That sentence was a mistake. Almost everyone at the table is now up in arms, some of them yelling that Shuichi and Gonta are meant to be, others threatening Shuichi over the possibility of him breaking Gonta’s heart, and a few of their quieter classmates reassuring them that they’re a great couple. It’s rather flustering, in all honesty, and Shuichi wills the blush dusting across his cheeks to go away.

“Guys, guys, calm down, I’m sure they’ll stick it out! They’re great together,” Kaito says, his booming voice laying the other mumbled protests to rest. Shuichi would very much like to end this conversation, but it seems as though Kaito has his own plans of continuing it. “Listen, man, we’re all proud of you! And you too, Gonta.”

Kaede beams. “Yeah! We haven’t had anybody in our class get together since me and Miu, which was a while ago, so it’s all very exciting,” she explains, and Shuichi nods, still rather embarrassed by the whole debacle. “Besides! It’s basically both of your first real relationships! I’m so happy you guys found each other.”

He almost laughs at her heartfelt statement. But he doesn’t, because that would give away their whole plan and make Kaede feel bad. “Thank you for being so...supportive,” Shuichi says carefully, and Kaede beams at him, her smile crinkling her eyes up at the corners. “We’re taking it slow though, we don’t want to rush into anything. Right, Gonta?”

“Y-Yeah! Gonta definitely not wanna move too fast,” Gonta quickly agrees, and Shuichi can’t tell whether the gentle squeeze of his hand is intentional or not. “And besides! Shuichi is lots out of Gonta’s, ah, ‘league,’ so Gonta wanna make sure he know it okay if he change his mind!”

“What are you talking about? Have you  _ seen _ yourself?” Shuichi blurts before he can stop himself from doing so, and Gonta’s eyes go wide. Shuichi can feel his own face heating up, and he hurried to try and rectify the situation. “I-I just meant that—you’re really handsome, y’know? I also think you’re very smart a-and sweet…”

He lets his awkward little speech trail off and turns away, completely missing the look of awe Gonta sends in his direction. Thankfully, someone else takes up the mantle of conversation, and Shuichi doesn’t have to worry about mortifying himself further. The tension in Shuichi’s shoulders falls, and he picks at his plate with his free right hand. Gonta seems to have no problem using his left, which is pretty convenient.

Honestly, Shuichi had had no idea Gonta was left handed until just now. Or that he prefers coffee over tea when given the choice, apparently. Those seem like pretty basic things to know about someone, right? Forget about their fake relationship, maybe Shuichi needs to be a better real friend. He resolves to talk to Gonta about some more basic stuff after breakfast, and despite the topic change in conversation from their ‘relationship’ to Himiko’s new magic set, Shuichi still feels a bit uneasy.

Any hunger he’d had falls away suddenly, and Shuichi feels nauseous instead. But he forces himself to eat, because everyone would be worried if he leaves his plate untouched, and he ignores the impending feeling of something being very, very wrong and just powers through breakfast. A few noncommittal hums here and there when addressed directly, a polite smile when mentioned. Just get through breakfast.

Once most of their classmates’ plates have been cleared and some of their more antisocial peers have gotten up and left, Shuichi can finally breathe easier as he stands, unintentionally bringing Gonta with him. “Can we head back to my room?” he asks quietly, and Gonta nods. “I just gotta ask you about some stuff, that’s all.”

He turns to bid his goodbyes to the rest of their remaining peers, but he freezes up as he feels a pair of lips hit the corner of his mouth. Face really red, he whips his head back to look at Gonta, who seems equally flustered by his blunder. Shuichi squeezes his hand, reassuring him that it’s fine, and they head out of the dining room.

As soon as the door is closed behind them, Gonta dissolves into a million apologies. “Sorry! So sorry! Gonta just saw Ryoma staring and ’cuz he look a little suspicious, Gonta try to make it look more...real,” he explains, face a bit red. Shuichi nods and gives him what he hopes is an understanding smile. “S-Sorry if Gonta make Shuichi feel uncomfy.”

“No, no, it’s okay! I wasn't uncomfortable, just surprised, that’s all,” Shuichi says as he lets go of Gonta’s hand to open the door to his room. They settle down on the bed, seated at the very edge, just like earlier this morning. “Okay, so, I realized that we should probably get to know each other better if we’re going to pretend to be in a relationship. That, and we need to come up with a story.”

Gonta worries his bottom lip between his teeth. “Right, that prolly a good idea. Um...so what Shuichi wanna know? Gonta happy to answer any questions!” Gonta tells him, so enthusiastically that Shuichi has to stifle a laugh.

“Okay, well...I guess we should start out with basic stuff, y’know? Favorite color, favorite animal, stuff like that,” Shuichi says, and Gonta hums. He supposes he can start them off. “Well, um, I like silver, a-and I really like cats, and uh...yeah. I-I don’t really know what else I can list off. I do like mystery novels, a-and my favorite movies are those old black and white detective noirs.”

It seems like Gonta’s trying hard to commit it all to memory, like he doesn’t want to forget a single detail. “Right! Gonta’s favorite color is green! Nice, dark green, sorta like when Gonta grew up in the woods. A-And Gonta could never pick favorite animal, there’s too many wonderful bug friends to choose from! Oh, but Gonta really love nature documentaries! Gonta not like horror movies much, though,” he finishes with a beaming grin. “Um, anything else Shuichi wanna know?”

He thinks for a moment but ends up shaking his head. “That should probably be enough for now, but we might need to talk more later down the line,” Shuichi says, and Gonta smiles at him gently. “We should come up with a story. A-About how we got together. Just in case anyone asks, y’know?”

“W-Well, Shuichi said at breakfast it started few weeks ago, right?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi nods, surprised he’d bothered to remember. “So maybe...Gonta took Shuichi out for lunch a-and we...confessed feelings? Th-That prolly not a good enough idea, nevermind, Gonta sorry for suggesting it, Gonta shouldn’t—!”

“No, no, it’s fine! It was a good suggestion, really,” Shuichi says quickly, a bit panicked at Gonta’s flurry of apologies, seemingly unprompted. “That seems like a perfect story, I’m glad you had that idea. I was going to suggest something way more complicated, so yours is probably the way to go. Do we...maybe want to come up with what we ‘said?’ O-On the lunch date, I mean, in terms of confessions.”

Looking down in thought, Gonta puts a hand to his chin and hums. “Maybe...Gonta said something like…” he trails off for a moment and looks right at Shuichi. “Shuichi is so kind and smart and is nice to Gonta even when he’s being stupid. Shuichi make Gonta smile so much, so will Shuichi let Gonta try to make you smile just as much?”

It takes Shuichi a second to snap back into focus. “Y-Yeah, that sounds...that’s really good for a confession, Gonta,” he says, beaming. He needs something as convincing, something equally heartfelt-sounding, something just as sappy. “How about mine went something like—I love spending time with you, a-and I don’t want it to just be platonic anymore. I have feelings for you—romantic ones...ah, I’m not that great at this, my bad.”

“No, no that was great! Shuichi did such a good job,” Gonta hurries to assure him, and Shuichi smiles bashfully. They sit in silence for a moment, both not wanting to say anything wrong in case it’ll make the other uncomfortable. “Well, um, Gonta glad we have rules and stuff in place, it very smart of Shuichi to suggest it!”

Shuichi shrugs sheepishly and the corners of his lips quirk up a bit. He’s not used to constant praise, but Gonta always seems to insist on showering his friends in compliments. He also supposes he might as well get used to it, since they’re going to be around each other a lot in the next few weeks. They should probably set a breakup date as well, but for some reason, that thought sits a lot heavier than what their ‘backstory’ is.

He glances up at Gonta, who seems to be fine in their comfortable silence, and Shuichi feels bad for breaking it with such an awkward topic. “Ah, hey, we should probably decide when to end this whole thing,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods firmly, eyes determined. “Since my birthday’s coming up, we should probably do it a few days beforehand, just so you don’t have to do something boyfriend-y for it.”

After a moment, Gonta nods, and the tension in Shuichi’s shoulders drops. “So...maybe the fourth? That a few days before your birthday, right?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi should really stop being so surprised that Gonta remembers these sorts of things. Of course he would, considering he’s such a thoughtful friend. He nods. “Perfect! Everything settled, then, right?”

“Right, that should be about it, unless I’m forgetting something,” Shuichi says, and Gonta beams at him. “So...I guess I’ll let you go do whatever you need to do now. I’m sorry for dragging you away for so long…and thank you again for agreeing to this stupid plan of mine. It really means a lot, Gonta.”

He walks Gonta over to the door and opens it up. There are a few people standing in the dorm lobby, so he stands on his toes and gives Gonta’s cheek a quick peck. Shuichi can feel his own face heat up, so he just waves and retreats back into his room, settling on the bed. He should probably start to get used to that, given they’re going to be faking it for a few weeks.

It’s going to be difficult to remember everything, given their rules and their fake backstory and their little facts about each other. But Shuichi’s going to do his damn hardest, because he doesn’t want Kaito to feel bad and he’d rather not have to explain everything after this morning. It’s just for a few weeks, he keeps reminding himself, then the charade can be done and they can go back to normal.

All they have to do is be convincing enough that their classmates don’t question anything, then ‘break up’ on the fourth. That’s it, it’s not that hard, why is Shuichi so worried over it anyway? If anything, he should be worried about Gonta backing out. Oh, great, now he’s worried about Gonta backing out. Shaking the thought out of his mind as he gets dressed for the day, Shuichi tries to pretend like everything is fine. Like this dynamic is perfectly normal. Like pretending to date one’s friends is a  _ normal _ thing to do. Because it  _ is. _

It’s an altruistic thing, isn’t it? Shuichi’s not doing anything inherently wrong by pretending to date Gonta, other than lying, but since it’s a lie to protect his own hide and his friend’s feelings, it’s okay, right? God, he’s going to give himself a headache just thinking about it. Maybe he should just stop thinking about it.

He’ll just have to stop overthinking things for once in his life.


	3. Practice Makes Perfect

As it turns out, their rules are the least of Shuichi’s worries in the upcoming days. They’re easy guidelines to follow, nothing too difficult. Gonta puts his arm around Shuichi’s shoulders at breakfast sometimes, and a few of their classmates give them an ‘aww’ and some gentle smiles; a lean in by Shuichi to put his head on Gonta’s shoulder as the rest of their class argues over what movies to watch on their class movie night is caught by a few of their quieter—and harder to convince—classmates and met with small knowing grins, despite no one knowing the truth behind the gesture.

What’s a bit more awkward, though, is that they haven’t had one successfully convincing kiss so far. Shuichi feels it might be due to their height difference. Whenever he tries to give Gonta a casual kiss in front of their classmates when he feels suspicion rising, he usually misses the mark by a bit, landing on either Gonta’s nose or his chin. And it feels as though every time Gonta tries his hand at convincing everyone by trying to kiss Shuichi, his head moves, and Gonta ends up bumping his lips against either corner of Shuichi’s mouth.

So Shuichi resolves to fix this issue, and after dinner during the middle of their first week being a ‘couple,’ he asks Gonta to meet him in his room for a bit. Considering the nature of the conversation, Shuichi does his best to remain composed and level-headed, but the thought of suggesting such a thing, even for their plan, is a bit flustering on its own. Not to mention it’s Gonta he’s asking, and a misunderstanding might make it weird.

As soon as Gonta sits down on the bed next to him, any composure Shuichi might have had is now out the window. “U-Um, I just—this is a sort of awkward thing to ask,” he starts, voice cracking in the middle of his sentence. Gonta tilts his head in confusion, prompting Shuichi to continue, so he does just that. “I was thinking that maybe...maybe we should practice some stuff a little more, j-just to look a bit more convincing, you know? I mean, we keep failing pretty hard at kissing and stuff, and our movements are a little stiff in general, so...yeah.”

Gonta blinks in surprise, but he nods. “Of course! Gonta wanna make sure he doing his best to help Shuichi, so practice prolly be good, right? But, ah, Gonta not really have experience with this sort of stuff, s-so Shuichi might have to...teach Gonta,” he says, and Shuichi feels his face heat up under Gonta’s gaze. “There something specific Shuichi wanna start with…?”

Gathering his thoughts, Shuichi snaps out of his mini-stupor and nods. “Okay, I-I want to start off with just general touches so that it doesn’t seem so robotic when we hold hands o-or hold each other,” he says, trying his best to regain some of his earlier confidence. Gonta smiles easily at him and awaits instruction. “Right, so, I’ve noticed that when you move to take my hand, you’re sort of tilted towards the front, but since my arms are shorter, it’ll probably feel less stiff if we hold them like this.”

He laces their fingers together, ensuring the back of his own hand faces outward, and Gonta’s right arm is behind his left. Gonta’s eyes go wide. “Oh, that much better! Gonta make sure to remember that, no worries,” he says, though his brow does furrow a bit after a moment. “Um, can Shuichi move his fingers one to the left? It a little bit uncomfy for Gonta, that all.”

Shuichi does just that, and now both of their hands are at ease, much less tense than they normally look. They decide to try joining their hands a few times, just to make sure they have it down. “Fingers to the left, and...perfect! I think we’ve got hand-holding in the bag now,” Shuichi says with a teasing grin, and Gonta chuckles quietly. “Right, now, um, maybe we can go through putting your arm around me?”

“Yeah! Okay! Gonta did notice Shuichi seem a little tense near his shoulders whenever Gonta put his arm around you,” Gonta says, and Shuichi nods. Gonta drapes his arm around Shuichi’s shoulders and awaits instruction on how to fix it. Shuichi tries maneuvering himself to the left, to the right, leaning into Gonta’s side, but nothing seems quite comfortable enough. “Ah, sorry, this prolly Gonta’s fault…”

After a moment of deliberation, Shuichi shakes his head. “No, no, I think that maybe I just have an issue with pressure on my shoulders. I-Is it okay if I move your arm around some?” he asks, willing the embarrassed flush in his cheeks to go away. Gonta nods, and Shuichi takes his arm by the bicep—he keeps forgetting how muscular Gonta is, geez—and moves it to around his waist. That honestly feels so much better, but there’s something off. Gonta’s hand is limp, and the cautious touch is a bit ticklish. “Um, you can take hold of my waist, I-I really don’t mind. It might even be better.”

Eyes wide, Gonta nods and quickly does as instructed, taking a gentle but firm hold on Shuichi’s waist. Shuichi finds himself unintentionally leaning towards Gonta’s side, and it feels much better than when it had been his shoulders being touched. “Gonta think this look much more natural! Good thinking, Shuichi, you so smart!” Gonta chirps with a bright grin, and Shuichi’s shoulders shake with silent laughter. “Anything else?”

The arm around his waist is drawn back, and Shuichi shudders at the sudden cold rush on his back. “Right, I’ve also noticed you seem a bit uncomfortable whenever I put my head on your shoulder, s-sort of like this,” Shuichi says, putting the side of his face against that very place, and sure enough, Gonta goes a tiny bit tense. “I-If it’s because the pressure on your joint feels odd, then I might have...a solution.”

As soon as Gonta nods for him to go ahead, Shuichi buries any impending embarrassment and tucks his head against Gonta’s chest, holding his breath in anticipation. Surely, Gonta will tell him if he’s uncomfortable. “This...definitely feel more comfy,” Gonta tells him, and Shuichi lets himself breathe again. “H-Hang on, it okay if Gonta try something?”

Shuichi hums, and Gonta’s arm wraps around his waist again, and it’s honestly the most natural and comfortable they’ve looked since they started this whole plan. Shuichi brings his arm closest to Gonta’s side around to lace his fingers with the hand holding his waist, and he settles a bit more into Gonta, sighing contentedly. This is probably their best bet for movie or game nights with the rest of the class; something comfortable, yet couple-y.

A bit reluctantly, Shuichi pulls out of the embrace and focuses his gaze on his hands. “The next thing I wanted to talk to you about was kissing,” he says, fearing Gonta’s reaction a bit. Sure, a pretend kiss here or there isn’t much, but asking to practice so that it no longer looks like they’re little elementary schoolers that got fake married on the playground at recess seems like a much different circumstance. “And it’s perfectly fine if you say no, but I figured I’d give asking a shot because honestly, we  _ do _ look really awkward when we’re trying to convince people by kissing each other.”

He finally looks up to meet Gonta’s ever-determined expression, and he feels the apprehension in him melt away. Of course Gonta would be willing to practice, all the guy wants to do is help with Shuichi’s insane scheme. Shuichi takes a pack of mints from his pocket and offers the open tin up. Gonta’s cheeks go a bit pink, but he takes two and pops them in his mouth as Shuichi does the same. Shuichi figures they might as well try and make it as not unpleasant as they can, given there’s no way this won’t be painfully weird.

“Where should Gonta put his hands? B-Because whenever Gonta try to give Shuichi a kiss, he not really know what to do, so...that prolly a good thing to know,” he says, voice more timid than Shuichi had been expecting. “Gonta not wanna mess this up, s-since helping Shuichi is what Gonta supposed to do, and if Gonta mess up, then Shuichi will prolly be upset with him, a-and—!”

“It’s okay! Really, it’s totally fine that you have these questions, Gonta. Honestly, I’m  _ still _ surprised you’re going along with this, and I can’t thank you enough, so you really don’t have to worry about me being upset with you, okay?” Shuichi assures him, and Gonta hums, worrying at his bottom lip. “As for what to do with your hands, y-you can try my waist, since that was pretty okay-feeling when you put your arm around me.”

Gonta looks almost comically focused as he moves his hands to Shuichi’s sides. The grip is the same as before, and Shuichi feels fine, but Gonta seems a bit unsettled. “I-It okay if Gonta try different things, right? To be more, ah, natural?” he asks, and Shuichi nods, doing his best to give Gonta a reassuring smile. Gonta’s left hand comes to cup Shuichi’s cheek, the hand remaining on his waist fidgeting just slightly so that while his fingers curve around to Shuichi’s back, his thumb reaches towards Shuichi’s ribs. “That feel little bit better. Shuichi sure this okay with you, though? Gonta not want you to feel uncomfy.”

Shuichi thinks for a moment, then takes hold of the hand on his cheek and starts moving fingers around. Two just below his jawline, the fingertips behind the shell of his ear, the other two brushing against his hairline, an inch or two from the tail end of his eyebrow, thumb resting at the very top of his cheek, just beneath the tired bags under his eyes. He closes his eyes, just as a test, then opens them again to see Gonta pointedly looking away, cheeks red. It’s probably due to his inexperience; maybe he’s embarrassed at having to be guided. Lifting his own hands, Shuichi links them behind Gonta’s neck, awaiting that nod of approval.

Once he has it, Shuichi starts to lean in, only to find Gonta’s lips pursed so much it looks like something out of a cartoon. He giggles and takes one hand from behind Gonta’s neck and brings it to his face. “Not quite like that, Gonta...relax a bit, y-you can part your lips too,” he explains, taking his thumb and pressing it against Gonta’s mouth. Gonta opens his eyes and smiles apologetically, face even more flushed than it had been a minute ago. He lets Shuichi move his bottom lip down so that they’re less pursed and more pliant. “There you go. If you need to, you can look at mine a-and try to mirror what I’m doing.”

Gonta nods as Shuichi moves his hand back behind his neck and flickers his gaze down to Shuichi’s lips. Shuichi’s eyes flutter closed, and he tilts his head a bit to the right. As it turns out, Gonta had taken his suggestion to mirror literally, because he’d tilted his head in the same direction. Their noses bash together instead of their lips touching, and Shuichi winces as he pulls back.

“A-Ah, so sorry! Gonta so sorry! He not mean to bump into Shuichi like that,” he gushes as Shuichi takes a moment to rub at the sore spot on his nose. “Gonta so sorry for messing up, he promise to do better! O-Oh! Shuichi said mirror, s-so Gonta should have flipped it! Ah! Gonta so dumb for not realizing, so sorry!”

“No, no, you’re not dumb, I should have been more clear about what I was going to do, I didn’t tell you I was going to tilt my head, so it’s my bad,” Shuichi says, moving his hand back for the second time. “Let’s just try it again, okay? It’s fine to mess up, it really isn’t a big deal. That’s why we’re practicing, so that we don’t have to go through the...awkward parts in front of everyone else. It’s alright. Try leaning your head to your right, and I’ll go to your left. Sound good?”

As he nods, Gonta’s determined look makes a return, and his grip on Shuichi’s waist gets just a tad bit firmer. That’s probably a good sign. Shuichi leans in again, making sure he’s pliant and relaxed, and he tilts his head again. Thankfully, this time, Gonta gets the head tilt right, and their lips finally connect. Before Shuichi can even lean into the gesture, Gonta pulls away, a beaming smile on his face.

“It worked! Shuichi so smart! Your idea was perfect!” Gonta says, and Shuichi chuckles quietly, a bit surprised at Gonta’s sudden retreat. Gonta doesn’t seem the least bit hesitant, though, always eager to help. “We should try again, right? Practice make perfect, after all, a-and Gonta wanna make sure he don’t mess up again!”

Shuichi smiles easily at him. “Well, ah, kisses usually last longer than that unless it’s a greeting or a farewell, y’know? People usually lean into a kiss for a bit. But of course, if that makes you uncomfortable at all or crosses any boundaries you might have, we don’t have to try anything, okay?” he says, and Gonta tilts his head in confusion, but nods for him to go ahead anyway, presumably still aiming to be as helpful as possible. “Just try and follow my lead. You don’t have to do the  _ exact _ same thing, of course, a-and I’m sure we’ll have to figure out what feels fine and what doesn’t, but we should still try if you’re up for it.”

Not even pausing for a moment, Gonta starts to lean in, and Shuichi manages to meet him in the middle on time. He waits for just a moment as their lips meet, his eyes shut, wondering if Gonta will take any initiative. After a few seconds of nothing but a silent, statue-still kiss, Shuichi starts to take the lead. Very gently, he moves his lips against Gonta’s, pushing closer by just a bit. He’s relieved when Gonta pushes back, glad he doesn’t have to explain it’d look odd if Shuichi were the only one moving.

After a moment of cautious movement, Gonta pulls back again, and Shuichi smiles gently at him. “Should we practice more? It might be good idea, since Gonta still not really know what he doing,” Gonta says, taking his hand from Shuichi’s cheek to scratch sheepishly at the back of his neck. “Ah, was Gonta too quick again?”

Shuichi shakes his head. “No, no, that was fine, but we can try a longer kiss if you want,” Shuichi offers, trying not to show how nervous and weird he’s really feeling about this whole thing. “I mean, if you’re not comfortable with that, it’s totally fine. We probably won’t have to do too many, so if you don’t want to, you can say no. But if you’d like to give it a shot, I’m okay with continuing our little practice session.”

“Gonta okay with doing more! Gonta wanna be as helpful as he can,” he says with a determined smile, and Shuichi chuckles, letting Gonta cup his face the same way as he had earlier. Shuichi leans in again, but Gonta pauses, biting his lip. “Ah, um...Gonta have his hand right? You sure you comfortable?”

Shuichi nods and leans closer. The quicker they practice, the earlier they’ll be done, and Shuichi would rather not have both of them uncomfortable for an unnecessarily long amount of time. He presses his lips against Gonta’s and gently moves them. Gonta’s movements are similar, slight pushing, and Shuichi leans in closer. As a result, Gonta’s hand slides from its place on Shuichi’s cheek into his hair, and Shuichi’s mouth opens slightly in surprise.

Evidently, Gonta notices, because he parts his lips a bit more too. Shuichi’s grip on him tightens unintentionally, but before he can pull away and apologize, Gonta does the same, and Shuichi lets out a shuddering sigh as Gonta accidentally pulls at his hair. Melting into the kiss seems like the right thing to do for some reason, and Shuichi moves one of his hands to the back of Gonta’s neck and tilts his head a bit more.

He really should know better, but despite multiple previous indications, Gonta mirroring his movement and pressing his palm against the back of Shuichi’s neck catches him off guard. The gasp that leaves Shuichi is embarrassing, and he pulls back abruptly, his skin tingling. It’s like static electricity is hovering right above where Gonta had touched, and Shuichi feels his face go red. That sort of reaction is definitely not normal, and Shuichi feels ridiculously flustered for having it.

“I’m sorry, I-I just—my neck is sensitive, I guess, I’m sorry,” Shuichi says before Gonta can start to apologize. Gonta nods and looks away, also a bit red in the face. “I shouldn’t have moved my hand without asking in the first place, s-so it’s not your fault, okay? Maybe we just...stay away from necks for now.”

Gonta quickly agrees, and they sit in silence for a bit. Shuichi looks up at him, and Gonta smiles nervously at him. Neither of them are really sure how to proceed. “So...does Shuichi wanna practice more o-or are we done…?” Gonta asks, voice trailing off weakly. Shuichi blinks, a bit surprised. “I-If Shuichi wanna keep practicing, Gonta fine with that!”

“Ah, no, that’s okay, we can be done for now. I think we have the basics pretty much downpat anyway, so it’s no worries,” Shuichi assures him, and Gonta nods, casting his gaze away. “We can meet up whenever if we ever need to practice anything. It’s definitely not a big deal if we don’t have it perfect right away. It’s good that we at least practiced a bit…”

“Yeah! Gonta gonna try his hardest not to forget anything, but i-if Gonta does, Shuichi should let him know, okay? Gonta not wanna do anything Shuichi not okay with,” he says earnestly. A gentle smile stretches across Shuichi’s face as he nods. It’s sort of comforting, in a way, to know that Gonta doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. Even if Shuichi’s put him in an incredibly odd situation, Gonta’s not the kind of person to lash out maliciously, and Shuichi couldn’t be more grateful for that.

If he’d been stuck with someone even just a bit more mischievous than Gonta...well, he’d rather not think about being in this situation with any of their other available classmates. “I should probably let you head out, then,” Shuichi says after a bit, and Gonta stands, giving Shuichi the smallest of waves as he heads towards the door and out of the room.

As soon as he’s gone, Shuichi flops back on the bed and presses a hand to his lips.  _ That...was definitely something, _ he thinks. He’d honestly never even considered what it’d be like to kiss a guy properly,  _ romantically, _ despite his attraction to them. Gonta’s lips were a bit rough, like he bites them a lot. Shuichi wonders what other little habits Gonta might have, but he shakes the thought from his head quickly. They’re not  _ actually _ in a relationship, so it’s not like Shuichi needs to notice these sorts of things. It doesn’t really matter in the long run, considering they’re ‘breaking up’ soon.

Gonta would probably be really sweet as a partner. He’s been very considerate of Shuichi’s boundaries, despite the fact that Shuichi’s probably breaching many of his. And while part of Shuichi wishes he’d managed to nip this in the bud, he has to admit it’s a little bit thrilling to be fooling so many of their classmates. Not that he should be having much fun, considering his dating pool is going to be nonexistent for the next few weeks.

A natural consequence, Shuichi supposes, to pulling an innocent person into this harebrained scheme. But it’s for a good cause; Kaito would feel terrible knowing he sent someone so pushy to Shuichi, and Kaede would feel awful for embarrassing the two of them for no reason. So really, it’s harmless in the grand scheme of things. Mutually beneficial. Somehow. Shuichi still hasn’t figured out what this stupid plan of his has to offer for Gonta.

The worst part is, he knows that even if he  _ doesn’t _ come up with a reason why Gonta should be agreeing to his scheme, Gonta will do it out of the goodness of his heart and his kind-to-a-fault nature. And while Shuichi would feel awful if he took advantage of Gonta’s niceness like that, he’s got to admit it’s a lot less stress-inducing to be doing this with Gonta rather than being blackmailed by a different classmate of theirs.

He sits up and heads over to his desk. Hopefully, he’ll have something to work on and get his mind off of things for a little while. Shuichi thumps down into his chair and lets out a groan; he really doesn’t need to be this worked up over things, right? Gonta seems fine, and Shuichi feels fine, so there’s nothing to worry about.

Shuichi opens up his laptop. Thank God there’s an essay still open. He huffs out a tiny laugh at that—being relieved that he can do an essay is definitely not something that he ever thought he’d be doing. It’s a psychology assignment, so Shuichi can focus on someone else’s brain, rather than his own. The essay’s almost finished, maybe he’ll just churn out some bullshit conclusion and take a nap.

A nap sounds really good right about now. If he sleeps off his internal conflict, he can wake up and focus on something other than social problems he’s created for himself. Shuichi’s fingers feel heavy as he taps on the keys, and the warm comfort of his bed is looking more and more appealing. Now he’s reminded of why he hates writing psych stuff so much. This essay is like melatonin in word form. Christ.

There’s a knock on Shuichi’s door, and he’s glad to have an excuse to call it a day on his essay as he hops up and heads over. Swinging it open, he’s met face-to-face with Kaede, who squeals and bustles in with a grin. Shuichi resists the urge to sigh and closes the door behind her as she takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

“So...I saw Gonta come out of here a little while ago,” she teases, and Shuichi goes a bit red despite himself. He frowns at her and raises an eyebrow, and Kaede bursts into a fit of giggles as he sits down next to her. “I’m only teasing. But! I do want to know how things are between you two! Come on, you told Kaito you guys were dating before me, gimme all the good stuff!”

“Good stuff?” Shuichi asks, rather amused. Kaede gives him a playful glare, and he relents with an overdramatic sigh. She snickers, hiding a snort behind her hand. “Alright, alright. I’ll tell you whatever you wanna know, just...don’t ask weird questions, okay? And you know  _ exactly _ which questions I’m talking about, Kaede.”

She rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine. Miu gave me a list earlier, though, so you have to be the one to break it to her that she won’t get any answers,” Kaede warns, and Shuichi nods. Of  _ course _ Miu wants to know the very last things Shuichi would tell her of all people. “Anyways, tell me everything! I wanna know how you guys got together, when your first kiss was, what your first date was like, when you plan on marrying him…”

Shuichi goes bright red. “K-Kaede! What on earth are you talking about? I’m not getting married, we’re barely halfway through university,” he sputters, and she giggles at him. With a huff, Shuichi wracks his brain for the answers to her questions. He’ll have to make up some of it and catch Gonta up on the details later. “Well, we went out to lunch a few weeks ago, a-and he told me how he felt, and I told him I felt the same way. Our first date was about a week after, and we did one of those picnic dates.”

“And the first kiss…?” she asks, practically vibrating with excitement. Shuichi gives her an exasperated look, and Kaede pouts, arms crossed. “I know, I know, I’m being overbearing. But you’re finally dating somebody, I’m just...really happy for you, okay? And it’s  _ Gonta, _ so it’s not even like I have to worry about the whole ‘best friend’ speech with him. I’m gonna die of curiosity, Shuichi, come on!”

“Okay, okay,” he says, laughing as she shakes his shoulders. “I’ll tell you everything, promise.”


	4. A New Perspective

Kaede practically skips into the room, beaming at the group awaiting her arrival. Kaito and Tenko are arguing over something or another, while Maki and Kirumi are making quiet conversation a little ways away. Clearing her throat, Kaede steps forward, and the chatter immediately ceases, the four guilty parties eager to listen.

Her bright smile turns to a mischievous grin. “So, it’s basically just as we thought. Shuichi’s got it bad, and from the sound of things, Gonta’s got it bad too,” she giggles, and Kaito whoops, pumping his fist in the air. Kirumi gives her a small smile, but Maki and Tenko don’t look too pleased. “Oh, come on, you sourpusses! This is so exciting! From what I can tell, Shuichi’s genuinely excited to be with Gonta!”

“I still don’t trust him. He’s an awful boy, just like the rest of them,” Tenko mutters, and Kaito lets out an offended squawk, likely about to protest. “Gonta’s the only non-awful male in this entire class. I can’t have a degenerate like Shuichi corrupting him! It just wouldn’t do, not at all, Kaede, you have to understand that!”

Sighing, Kaede opens her mouth to defend her best friend, but Maki beats her to the punch. “I’m more worried about him messing up things with Gonta and leaving him heartbroken,” she says flatly. At everyone’s collective stares—Maki’s never been one to be protective over people that seem like they can protect themselves—she goes a bit pink in the face. “Listen, it’s not as though I care about how things end up. Gonta just reminds me of some kids I knew back at the orphanage, alright?”

Kaito grins at her. “Aww, Maki Roll, you  _ do _ care! That’s so cute,” he says as he throws an arm around her shoulders, completely impervious to Maki’s mumbled death threats, however flustered they may be. “Besides, this’ll be good for Shuichi! He’s not the most social guy, so being with somebody like Gonta will let him get used to it, y’know?”

“I...do admit that I had my doubts,” Kirumi confesses, and Kaede tilts her head in confusion. It makes a  _ bit _ of sense, she supposes, but Kaede doesn’t really get it. “I, too, feel a bit protective over Gonta. He’s very sweet, and it would be rather awful if this resulted in his being hurt. I would like to do everything in my power to support him, and if that means having a rather...stern conversation with Shuichi in order to protect his feelings, then so be it.”

“I’d say the same goes for Gonta, but...honestly, I trust he won’t hurt Shuichi,” Kaede says, and Kaito nods approvingly. “I trust that Shuichi won’t hurt Gonta either, but I totally get where you guys are coming from, no worries. Gosh, they make a really cute couple, and I really hope things work out for them!”

There’s a few assenting murmurs, but Kaito hums thoughtfully. “Is it just me, or are they kind of awkward? Not in, like, a couple sense—they are kind of an odd couple, come to think of it—but like...they don’t really know what they’re doing?” he says, and Maki raises an eyebrow as she signals for him to go on. “I mean, hell, they kiss like middle schoolers do sometimes. Just seems a little weird to me, but maybe that’s  _ just _ me.”

Tenko groans loudly and tosses herself back against the couch in a rather dramatic fashion, hands coming up to her face and slowly dragging down. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing with a  _ degenerate male,” _ she whines, and Kaito snickers. She tosses a throw pillow at his face, and he lets out an indignant screech; before he can throw it back, Maki snatches it from him. “They do seem awkward, and that’s coming from me of all people!”

“Well, I can’t imagine Gonta’s really experienced with relationships, so it sort of makes sense for them to be a little awkward,” Kaede points out, and Kirumi nods. “Plus, Shuichi isn’t exactly the world’s best kisser to begin with. Not to dunk on him or anything, he just tends to miss in general sometimes. Maybe I’m biased because of the whole ‘being a lesbian’ thing, though, I dunno.”

“Not only that, but their relationship is still new,” Kirumi adds, and Maki hums in agreement, still clutching the pillow even as Kaito attempts to grab it from her while she looks like she’s off-guard. “They may be in the initial tentative stage of a relationship where they test boundaries. We should try not to judge too hard, given that they’ve only been together for less than a month. It  _ is _ a bit funny to watch, though.”

Tenko still looks a little unconvinced, but she lets out a tiny sigh. “I guess that makes sense,” she concedes, and Kaito grunts in agreement. Kaede gives them an arrogant little grin, glad they’ve come around. “I’m still going to drop kick Shuichi if he ever has the audacity to corrupt Gonta’s gentlemanliness…”

Kaede and Kirumi giggle and Maki—if Kaede isn’t mistaken—actually smirks. Kaito rolls his eyes but he’s smiling anyway. Kaede needs to get down to the heart of the matter, though. “Okay, but here’s the thing,” she says, suddenly serious, and the rest of them quiet down. “We need to plan something good for Shuichi’s birthday for the two of them. And I need your help to figure out what to do. So keep an eye on the two of them, okay?”

“Okay!”

*****

Kaito thinks his sidekick is doing pretty well for himself. Shuichi’s doing great in all his classes, he’s taken up reading regularly as a new hobby, and he’s got a pretty great boyfriend! Kaito’s proud of him, but there’s a little something that’s been nagging at the back of his mind since that night at the club, even though it’s been about a week since then.

Why hadn’t Shuichi told him off the bat about his relationship? Had Kaito said something to make him think he couldn’t? Kaito’s pretty sure he hadn’t, he likes to think he’s a pretty damn good friend, after all, but there had to have been some reason why Shuichi hadn’t said anything about him and Gonta being a thing. Could it be that Gonta had asked him not to? No, no, that’s probably not it either.

He elects to just straight-out ask Shuichi when they’re at training later. Maki Roll is benched for tonight because she’s sick—even though she wouldn’t admit it, Kaito had spotted her runny nose from a mile away. It’s the perfect opportunity, given that it’s just the two of them, and Kaito’s going to do his best to make sure Shuichi’ll feel comfortable telling him.

They’ve just finished a set of fifty pushups right after a minute long plank; Kaito’s added more to their routine since his sidekick really  _ should _ try to catch up to Gonta, he doesn’t want Shuichi going around looking like a twig next to a branch. “So, uh, I was wondering if I could ask you about something,” Kaito says as Shuichi catches his breath, laying on his back in the grass. He nods for Kaito to go ahead, so he does. “Why is it that you didn’t say anything about you and the big guy until I tried to set you up with that girl? Not that I’m trying to be all accusatory or anything, just curious.”

Shuichi pauses for a moment, taking a few gulps from his water bottle. “I guess I just didn’t want things to end before they could start and have to explain why it didn’t work out,” he says slowly, as though he’s trying to tread carefully. Kaito feels a little miffed at that. Surely Shuichi knows he’s fine with whatever makes his sidekick happy. “I honestly didn’t mean to tell anyone. We were trying to take it slow, I guess.”

“Well, you guys did a pretty great job of hiding it. Nobody saw you two coming, y’know? It was a total surprise!” Kaito chuckles, and Shuichi laughs, though it sounds a bit nervous. “Not to be rude or anything, but...what exactly do you see in Gonta? This isn’t me trying to diss the guy, he seems nice and all! I honestly just thought he’s not your type.”

It seems as though Shuichi’s thinking pretty hard about Kaito’s question, which is a little odd in and of itself, but hell, if someone asked Kaito what his favorite things about Maki Roll were, he’d have a hard time picking the best stuff too. Shuichi takes another swig from his water bottle, and if Kaito didn’t know it was a trick of the light, he’d have said Shuichi looks a little pale.

After another moment, Shuichi finally speaks up. “He’s just...sweet. And he can be really funny, even if it’s unintentional sometimes. Being with Gonta is sort of like...it’s kind of like the feeling you get when you visit home. He’s calm and welcoming, and he makes me feel safe. It’s nice to spend so much time with him. Wish I could do it more,” Shuichi says, and Kaito smiles softly at him. Before he can say anything, though, someone’s coming towards them. “Oh, for goodness sakes—I don’t need an escort back to the dorms, it’s way too late! What are you still doing up anyways? Don’t you have a morning class?”

Ah, speak of the devil. Or angel, seeing as it’s more fitting, Kaito supposes. Gonta waves at them, a big grin on his face. “Well, yeah, but Gonta wanna make sure you get back safe,” he says, nothing but warmth in his eyes, and Kaito nudges Shuichi’s ribs with his elbow. Shuichi shoves at his shoulder. “You guys done with training? O-Or did Gonta get here too early? Sorry if he did, he not mean to interrupt!”

Brushing the dirt from the elbows of his shirt, Shuichi stands and plants a quick kiss on Gonta’s cheek. “Nah, you’re just in time to rescue me from this one,” he says, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at Kaito, who makes a gasp that’s a mixture of offended and amused. Shuichi turns back to him and gives him a sheepish grin. “D’you wanna head back with us?”

“You guys go ahead, I’ll catch up,” Kaito tells them, and Gonta nods, taking hold of Shuichi’s hand. Kaito smiles at the gesture. His sidekick really is taken care of, huh? “I’ll give the two of you some alone time, if you catch my drift.” He gives the two of them a gaudy wink, and Shuichi gives him a flat stare. Gonta just seems confused.

They head off towards the dorms, and Kaito leans back on his palms in the grass to rest for a minute. Gonta definitely passes the best bro test.

*****

Kirumi is rather surprised when Shuichi joins her and Gonta in the kitchen early in the morning about a week and a half after their initial announcement. Granted, he looks exhausted and his eyes are barely open, but he’s still doing his best to be somewhat helpful. Gonta gives him a small smile and hands him a mug of coffee, and Shuichi hums, holding it close to his face with the gentlest expression Kirumi’s ever seen on him.

It’s usually just her and Gonta making breakfast. He likes to help out as much as he can in the mornings, and despite Kirumi’s protests that she’s perfectly fine with doing the work on her own, Gonta still helps because it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. In the quiet morning light of the kitchen, Gonta chops up some fruit as Kirumi makes omelets, and Shuichi silently sips on his coffee. It’s a lovely little moment, if Kirumi’s being honest.

“Shuichi sure he not wanna go back to bed?” Gonta asks, glancing over his shoulder at Shuichi, who shakes his head just slightly and takes another sip from the mug. Kirumi starts on the bacon. “Shuichi look like he gonna fall asleep right here...he can go back to bed if he wanna, it no worries, really! Gonta and Kirumi can finish breakfast.”

Letting out a yawn, Shuichi stretches one arm over his head. “Mmh…nah, ’m awake,” he mumbles, and Kirumi lets out a little huff of a laugh at the sleepiness dragging his voice. “I promised I’d be up early to be with you this morning ’cuz I owed you from training, so...I’m up…” He trails off, eyelids a bit droopy as he takes another sip of coffee.

Gonta steps away from the fruit and brushes Shuichi’s bangs out of his eyes. He smiles down at Shuichi, whose cheeks go pink, and Kirumi starts to feel as though she’s intruding on a private moment. “If the two of you would like a little more time to sleep before breakfast, I can handle the rest of the meal on my own,” she suggests, but before even Gonta can begin to protest, Shuichi shakes his head and steps closer to the counter, setting the mug down. Kirumi hums. “If you’re sure, then. I still need to finish off the eggs. Would you mind…?”

Shuichi nods and takes some out of the fridge, and Gonta hands him a pan. Shuichi starts up one of the burners on the stove, and as he grabs for his coffee cup again, he nearly knocks it over. Gonta catches his hand before he can, and as a result, he’s flush against Shuichi’s back, and Kirumi feels like even more of a third wheel.

“Ah, th-thanks, Gonta,” Shuichi says, cheeks pink, and Gonta just smiles at him, moving back over to the cutting board. Well, Shuichi certainly seems more awake now. Kirumi chuckles quietly as the three of them cook in comfortable silence.

The two of them make an unusual couple, but a cute one nonetheless. Kirumi honestly hadn’t even known Gonta had had feelings for Shuichi, which is a little surprising given that Gonta doesn’t really keep secrets. He’s told her many a time that he views lying and secretivity as ungentlemanly, but perhaps he’d felt uncomfortable with sharing something like a crush, even with her.

Though, Kirumi  _ does _ have to admit, it’s a little fun to watch the two of them interact. Kaito had been right—they are a bit awkward. They’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with each other over the past week or so, she’s noticed, but they still seem to be in that initial tentative lovebird stage where both of them are shy about being affectionate. She feels a bit like an old soul in that regard; it’s like watching highschoolers that are on their first date.

They brush hands as Shuichi reaches over for a drawer at the same time as Gonta, and both of them flinch away, cheeks going red. Kirumi stifles a laugh behind her hand as she finishes up with plating the bacon. Gonta lets out a tiny nervous chuckle and lets Shuichi grab what he needs first. They’re rather endearing, or at least Kirumi thinks so. She’s very glad he’s found someone. Shuichi’s probably one of the best, considering he actually respects Gonta and doesn’t just brush him off like a lot of their other classmates do.

“Shuichi, Gonta, would you two mind setting the table while I set up some pitchers?” Kirumi asks, and the two of them nod and begin getting plates out of the cupboards. She moves over to the fridge and grabs a few jugs of juice. “I do admit, this morning has been very nice. I appreciate the company...thank you.”

The two boys beam at her and head into the dining room. She can see them talking in hushed voices as they set up the places, and she briefly wonders what they’re talking about. It’s probably none of Kirumi’s business, though, so she finishes setting up the pitchers and waits until the two of them are done talking before coming out of the kitchen. They deserve some privacy, after all, and Kirumi isn't about to butt in.

She sets them down on the table and looks at the couple with a smile. “I think I’m gonna need another cup of coffee,” Shuichi murmurs, leaning against Gonta’s side. One of Gonta’s arms comes to wrap around his waist, and Kirumi chuckles. She moves to go get one for him, but he pulls away from Gonta. “No, no, don’t worry about it, Kirumi, I’ll go and get it myself. You work too hard anyway.”

There’s a sneaking suspicion there that he’s only saying that to suck up to her, but it’s sweet nonetheless. She turns to Gonta and he glances over at Shuichi before turning his attention back to her. “So, Gonta, how are things going between the two of you?” Kirumi asks, and Gonta’s face goes a bit red. “Don’t feel obligated to answer, I’m simply a bit curious.”

“Th-Things are nice! Gonta very happy with Shuichi,” he says with a beaming smile. He still seems a bit nervous, so Kirumi decides to wait before pressing another question. Gonta glances over at the kitchen again, and it’s a little cute how eager he is for Shuichi to get back. “Ah, Gonta like spending time with Shuichi very much! It nice of him to wake up early just to help out...it would be nice to be together at more reasonable time, though…”

Kirumi laughs softly, and Shuichi comes back with another mug—this one far bigger than the previous one—and stands next to Gonta again. “Do you have anything planned for your birthday, Shuichi?” Kirumi asks, remembering what Kaede had said a while back. “You two must be excited, given it’s your first big event as a couple.”

Shuichi and Gonta exchange a look, and Shuichi shrugs as Gonta’s arm comes to rest around him again. “I dunno, I’ve never really been big on my birthday, so I don’t really have any plans for it,” Shuichi says, taking a sip of coffee. Kirumi nods thoughtfully. Since Shuichi doesn’t have any plans, surely Kaede can come up with one. “And I don’t want you thinking you have to do something special or anything, Gonta.”

Looking to the floor, Gonta laughs nervously. Maybe he’s already gotten something prepared; Kirumi will have to ask him about it later. “Well, it’s almost time for breakfast,” Kirumi hums, breaking the silence that’s settled between the three of them. “You can take a seat and start eating, if you’d like. I’ll be in the kitchen making some pots of coffee if you need me for anything.”

The two of them thank her and head to their usual seats, hands conjoined. Kirumi can’t help the small smile on her face as she brews the coffee for the rest of the class.

*****

It’s a little over two weeks since Gonta and Shuichi had come out as a couple when the five of them get together again. Kaede’s holding their little meeting in her room to keep the operation a secret, and Tenko is currently clinging to the wall opposite from where Kaito and Maki are sitting like it’s a lifeline. Her antics go mainly unnoticed due to the excitement buzzing about the rest of them.

“Okay, okay! Settle down, we’ve got to start  _ actually _ planning this thing,” Kaede tells them, and Kirumi’s glare is enough to shut Kaito up. She clears her throat and stands from her desk chair, though the space is quickly taken back up by Tenko. “Alright! So. Shuichi’s birthday. I’m thinking a surprise party! Do we know if he has anything planned?”

Kirumi raises her hand, holding it remarkably still. “He said that he did not, in fact, have any plans for his birthday,” she says, lowering her hand as she speaks. Satisfied that everyone’s paying proper attention, she continues. “Shuichi also told Gonta not to worry about doing anything special, and after further investigation, Gonta has no plans for it either. He seems to be taking the suggestion literally.”

Kaede hums in thought. “Alright. So we can definitely throw Shuichi a surprise party, then,” she says, and Kaito whoops, looking far too excited. Maki’s small smile at him is honestly one of the most adorable things Kaede’s ever seen, but she’s focusing on a different couple right now. “It’ll have to be before his birthday, since it’s a Saturday...but it probably shouldn’t be too early this week or it’ll seem weird.”

“I mean, we could do it on Friday,” Kaito suggests, and Kaede hums, still deep in thought. He throws his arm around Maki and she squirms in fake annoyance. Kirumi chuckles quietly at them. “Me and Maki Roll could drag Shuichi out for ‘early training’ and trick him into coming with us to wherever the party’s gonna be!”

“That’s a pretty good idea for a degenerate boy,” Tenko admits begrudgingly, and Kaede beams at her. She shifts in her seat as Kaito gives her a bright grin. They can all tell she’s struggling to keep a smile from her face. “But it would make more sense to have Gonta take him to the party, wouldn’t it? Since you guys usually don’t do any training until nighttime? And don’t look at me like that, sometimes Himiko trains with you, that’s the only reason why I know!”

Kirumi stifles a laugh, but she regains her composure rather quickly. “We should most likely keep the party under wraps when it comes to telling Gonta,” she adds, and Kaede tilts her head in confusion. “He’s not the best at keeping secrets, and I’d imagine he’d be rather excited about the party, so it may be even more difficult.”

Beaming, Kaito nods. “Yeah! So maybe we could ask the big guy to just bring Shuichi somewhere for us, y’know? I could say I need help studying or something! Not that I do, ’cuz I’m pretty smart, right Maki Roll?” he chuckles, throwing his arm around Maki. She mumbles some kind of threat, and Kaede muffles her giggle behind her hand. “Y’know, I’m gettin’ real tired of hearing how much you wanna kill me all the time.”

“Then have an energy drink,” Maki says dryly, and Tenko snorts as Kaito lets out an offended squawk. She turns to Kaede with an amused glint in her eyes. “So what did you have in mind for Shuichi’s gift? I may or may not steal your idea if I can’t come up with one on my own. I hate picking out presents.”

“Well, that’s what I was actually about to ask you guys,” Kaede admits, rather sheepishly, she supposes. She hums, trying to think of how to phrase her question. “I had something in mind, but it doesn’t really work now. Maybe you guys have heard something from him about what he’d want…? Has he mentioned anything he wants to do more of or try out?”

Kaito chimes in then, leaning forward so quickly Maki doesn’t have time to stabilize herself and ends up with her arms around his waist for balance. Tenko rolls her eyes. “Oh! When we were training, he said something about wanting to spend some more time with Gonta,” he says, and Maki raises a skeptical eyebrow. “I know that might not be the  _ most _ helpful for picking out a gift but...that’s pretty much it.”

Oddly enough, Kirumi perks up next, putting her fist firmly in her hand. “Kaede! Gonta said something rather similar the other day,” she tells them all, and Kaede’s face goes from focused to delighted in an instant. “When the three of us were making breakfast, Shuichi had gone to make coffee, and Gonta said he’d like to be able to spend more quality time with Shuichi when he’s not so exhausted. Perhaps there’s something there we can use…?”

  
The grin on Kaede’s face is almost intimidating. “Oh, I have the  _ perfect _ gift idea. I think we’ll have to move the party, though. Listen up…”


	5. Surprise!

Shuichi’s always wondered why he’d picked the most annoying alarm sound possible. Then, as soon as he scrambles to hit snooze, desperate to do so before his eyes are fully open and he has no choice but to carry on his day at a normal pace rather than stumble around in a rush, he remembers that it’s a pain in the ass to wake himself up with the more gentle alarms. Groaning, he shuts off the alarm and sits up.

He runs a hand through his hair and starts to check his phone when he spots the date and his blood runs cold. Today’s the day they stage the breakup. God, he really doesn’t want to have to consciously go through today. If someone could just, like, possess his body and make him go on autopilot until it’s over, that would be fantastic. Sadly, that’s not possible, and Shuichi’s going to have to awkwardly pretend like he’s breaking up with someone who he’s never even been dating in the first place.

Lovely, isn’t it?

Getting up and out of bed, Shuichi moves over to his wardrobe. Might as well look nice for one of the most awkward experiences of his life. A button up and his nicest pair of jeans is probably fine, right? And he should probably fix his hair while he’s at it. And maybe wash his face. Some cologne wouldn’t be too much, would it? God, he needs to stop fretting. The more casual and amicable it looks, the better this will play out.

Shuichi really does have to fix his bedhead, though, it’s almost laughably bad. He’s running a comb through it when there’s a knock on his door. Hurrying over to it, he opens it up, only to be met face to face with Kaito; that’s certainly unexpected. He lets Kaito in, shutting the door behind him and moving back over to the mirror to fix his hair.

“So...you excited for your birthday? It’s coming up soon,” Kaito says, and Shuichi hums noncommittally. He doesn’t really care much about his birthdays. Growing up, there had been so many birthdays in his family because of his siblings that he didn’t really want to force his parents to throw him a party, too. “Aw, come on, dude! You’ve gotta be at least a little excited about it. You’ve got a boyfriend to spend it with, too!”

Resisting the urge to cringe himself out of existence, Shuichi gives Kaito as best of a smile as he can. “I mean, I guess...I’ve just never really been big on birthdays. The last time I celebrated one of mine was, like, when I was twelve,” he says, though he tries his best to laugh it off when he sees the concerned look on Kaito’s face. “I honestly don’t really mind, birthdays haven’t been a big deal, y’know? It’s just getting older, and it’s not like I  _ want _ to be reminded of the slow march to death we all take.”

Kaito just stares at him, and Shuichi shrugs. “But you wouldn’t be opposed to a birthday party, right? I mean, now you’re an adult! You can do ‘adult’ stuff for your birthday, if you catch my drift,” Kaito snickers, and Shuichi rolls his eyes. “For real, though, you wouldn’t hate a party, would you? Maybe we should plan something!”

The last sentence had sounded hurried, but Shuichi just chalks that up to Kaito’s usual over-excitement. “I wouldn’t  _ hate _ doing something, no,” he concedes, and Kaito beams at him, seemingly placated. Shuichi sets down his comb and slumps down into his desk chair. Since Kaito’s taken over the bed, it’s the only other seating in the room left. “So, what brings you to the cave this morning, Kaito?”

“Is that what we’re calling your mess of a room now?” Kaito teases, and Shuichi rolls the desk chair over to shove at him. He cackles and smacks Shuichi with a nearby throw pillow. Shuichi grabs one of his own and thwacks Kaito over the head with it. “Alright, alright! I admit it, your room  _ has _ gotten better! At least I can actually see the floor now!”

“I hate you,” Shuichi says, nothing but fondness in his voice. Kaito sticks his tongue out, and Shuichi rolls back over to the desk. Kaito’s phone buzzes, and he’s tapping away. It’s probably Maki or Kaede. Shuichi waits for him to click the phone back off before he says something. “But seriously, did you need anything? What’s up?”

Kaito bites his lip and looks away; he seems conflicted about something, and Shuichi’s starting to get anxious. Had his answer from when he and Kaito were training not been convincing enough? “I just...I’m really proud of you, man,” he says, and Shuichi’s filled with dread, shoulders slumping. “I mean, you’re doing really well! That’s to be expected from my sidekick! But...sometimes I get worried ’bout you, Shuichi.”

At that, Shuichi gives him a quizzical look. “What’s there to be worried about?” he asks, and Kaito just shrugs. They sit in silence for a bit longer, but it’s not awkward. Just quiet, comfortable. “Well, if you wanna hang out today, I’m pretty much free. I don’t have any classes on Wednesdays, so…”

Suddenly, Kaito’s phone is absolutely blowing up. Different text tones, one after the other after the other, and he springs out of his chair, looking pretty panicked. Shuichi’s about to ask him what’s wrong when he bolts over to the door. “Sorry, man, something just came up, super duper emergency, gotta go, see ya!” he says as he practically sprints out of the dorms. That was definitely more weird than usual.

After a moment, Shuichi decides to take a seat on his bed and waste a few hours on the internet, as one does. The news, given to him on a concise, heavily and obviously biased platter, spouts the end of the world, so he quickly switches over to the lighter side of social media. Stupid videos and completely obscure images that somehow make him laugh enough that there’s a stitch in his side by the end of it.

Less than half an hour later, there’s yet another knock on his door. It’s pretty unusual, considering that the only people that would come to his dorm room would normally be Kaede, who has a class today, and Kaito, who’s currently dealing with whatever had made him run out of the room so suddenly.

When he swings open the door, he’s met with a very nervous-looking Gonta, and Shuichi invites him in. “Did you want to go over the details one more time or something?” he asks as Gonta stands awkwardly next to him. “It’s just that it didn’t work out, if we don’t make it a big deal, then it’ll be fine—”

“Kaito asked Gonta to come get Shuichi so he can help Kaito study,” Gonta says quickly, and Shuichi furrows his brows at that. Surely whatever Kaito’s busy with at the moment is more important than studying. Especially when Kaito’s been doing so well academically lately. “Um, he also say Gonta should come too, s-so let’s go to the lounge…?”

He seems weirdly nervous, but Shuichi figures it’s probably just anxiety about their fake breakup and follows him out of the room. After all, they have to pull it off well if they don’t want things to end up messy, and Gonta’s uncomfortable with lying in the first place. Shuichi will most likely have to take the lead on this, which he’s definitely not used to. Typically, he just lets his friends take charge of whatever convoluted plans they’ve come up with.

Unfortunately, this one is  _ Shuichi’s _ convoluted plan, so he should probably take some form of responsibility for it. It’s almost over, though. They’ll be able to go back to normal soon; they can go right back to being friends that occasionally spend time together, mostly only when their friend groups overlap via Miu or Maki. They can go back to polite smiles in the hallway or a quick wave in the dorms.

They don’t have to keep clasping hands every time someone’s eyes are on them. The two of them won’t have to share a staged kiss during movie night after all of the other couples have done the same. It’ll be fine again—platonic. Nothing about the two of them will be fake anymore; just real friends that their classmates think have dated. Totally not a big deal. Shuichi should probably stop overthinking things now, considering that they’re almost at the lounge.

Shuichi stops in front of the door, and Gonta does too. “Alright. You ready to do this?” he asks, trying his hardest to read Gonta’s expression. Gonta is usually an open book, so it’s not too hard, but Shuichi doesn’t want to look like he’s staring or anything. Gonta nods. “Let’s go in, I can do the explaining. Kaito will probably get the word out anyway.”

He opens the door up, preparing to put on a somber face, but he’s met face-to-face with confetti and balloons. “SURPRISE!” everyone—and Shuichi sees  _ everyone _ there—shouts in unison, Kaito punctuating it with a cheering whoop. Simultaneously, Shuichi’s stomach drops as his chest swells with elation.

A party! For his birthday. Of which he was supposed to have already broken up with Gonta beforehand. Shuichi does his best to look absolutely ecstatic as Kaede and Kaito usher him further into the lounge, the rest of their classmates giving him birthday wishes as they set Shuichi right in front of an abnormally large cake. The candles could definitely be considered a fire hazard, but that doesn’t stop the spread of a beaming smile across Shuichi’s face.

Everyone’s singing to him, and oh  _ wow _ Shuichi had forgotten how nice this feels. The cake is getting cut—they give him the first slice—and they’re all lounging together and chatting. A Thursday is a pretty weird day for a surprise party, but Shuichi’s not exactly going to complain about it. Light conversation starts up, and he’s quickly roped into having one with Kaito, Rantaro, and Gonta.

“So, how’re you liking your surprise, bro?” Kaito asks, slinging an arm around Shuichi’s shoulders, a bright grin on his face. Shuichi gives him an equally shining smile. “It was pretty hard to keep it a secret, ’specially since my phone kept going off so much. But that’s on Kaede, I kept my mouth shut!”

“Sure you did,” Rantaro drawls as he crosses his arms. There’s an amused eyebrow raised in Kaito’s direction, much to his chagrin. “It’s not like I totally had to remind you not to spill the beans or anything. Also, happy birthday again, man. It’s always great to spend it with someone that you care about.”

With that, Rantaro gives Gonta a knowing smile, and Shuichi feels his own face heat up. “Ah, I dunno. We weren’t really planning on anything,” he says honestly, and there’s another reminder that they were already supposed to have been done with this stupid plan by now. Well, it’s not a big deal, they can probably just stage it right after. “I wasn’t expecting all this...thank you, guys.”

“Of course, Shuichi! Anything for my best bro,” Kaito tells him, and Shuichi chuckles quietly, taking a sip from the cup of punch he’s holding. Kaito turns to Gonta and tilts his head. “So are you really not gonna do anything for his birthday? He’ll tell ya he doesn’t want anything, but Shuichi’s a total gift hog!”

“I am  _ not! _ I can’t even remember the last time I actually wanted a gift that I wasn’t just going to get myself,” Shuichi protests, and Rantaro snorts. Kaito just shrugs and takes his arm from Shuichi’s shoulders. “Besides, you’re one to talk, mister six-page-list for Christmas. I have a whole slew of stories from Maki, don’t test me.”

Letting out an offended squawk, Kaito clutches at his imaginary pearls and glares. “How  _ dare _ you, bro!” he says, though the haughty effect is fairly ruined by his vernacular. Gonta bites back a laugh, and Shuichi slides over to grasp his arm; he’s partially using him as a potential shield, but he doesn’t need to know that. “It was mostly just crap from the dollar store anyway!”

“Still six pages’ worth of crap, apparently,” Rantaro points out, and Shuichi snickers, still half-hiding behind Gonta’s bicep. Rantaro seems to notice, as does Kaito, who makes stupid kissy face noises at the two of them. “Ah, leave them alone. At least they’re not as bad as Kaede and Miu. Now  _ that’s _ what I call sappy.”

An unintelligible shout of protest from Miu—who is already intoxicated, the origins of which Shuichi has no clue, there’s no alcohol in the room—sends the four of them into bouts of laughter. “Okay, well, I’ll give that a pass,” Kaito says, and Rantaro nods, a slow smile on his face. “I honestly don’t think anyone could be as bad as those two.”

Now standing clearly beside Gonta, Shuichi raises an eyebrow. “I dunno, man, you and Maki are pretty all over the place,” he says, and Kaito shushes him quickly. Shuichi’s unbothered, though, all things considered. “Oh, come on. If Maki was going to kill me, she’d have done so already, don’t you think?”

Before he can get a response, Kaede claps her hands. “Alright, everybody! Let’s get to the main event, shall we?” she says, and Shuichi’s a bit confused. They’d already sung to him and had cake, what else is there to a birthday party? She gathers everyone in one big circle around him, which is nerve-wracking in itself. “Okay, so...we sort of all got together and got you one  _ big _ present instead of a bunch of little knick-knacks! Kaito, would you like to do the honors?”

“Hell yeah! Sidekick, I’m so proud of how far you’ve come, and to commemorate one very recent milestone in your life,” he says as Kirumi comes forward with a silver platter, and Shuichi’s starting to get really nervous, “we all pitched in and got the two of you a super duper hella rad present! It’s...a vacation!”

Kaede takes the top off of Kirumi’s platter and, sure enough, there are two tickets on it, along with an envelope. “A  _ couple’s _ vacation! And we have everything on an itinerary so the two of you won’t have to spend a moment apart!”

This...was not supposed to happen.

*****

Shuichi closes the door to his dorm room behind him with as quiet of a slam as he can muster. It feels like a dream, sort of, given that what had just happened can’t be real. He’d let Gonta in before him, and he’s the one holding the tickets now. Though, upon closer inspection, they’re vouchers for a ‘romantic getaway’ at a resort. Worrying at his bottom lip, Shuichi takes a seat on the bed next to Gonta and tries to find the least insane way to approach this.

“So. We’re supposed to go on vacation. Together. On Friday,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods, not looking away from the vouchers in his hand. Shuichi supposes he’s probably just as shocked, considering he’d apparently not known about the surprise party either. Gonta would also have definitely given Shuichi warning. “And we were supposed to have been done with this stupid plan already, but now everyone is expecting us to have this big romantic time.”

Gonta nods again, but at least he looks up at Shuichi. “Gonta not mind spending more time with Shuichi, but...Gonta thought lying about things would be done now,” he says, sounding rather small, and Shuichi feels awful. “B-But it okay! Gonta not wanna hurt everyone’s feelings, so we should prolly appreciate the gift...right?”

Rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes, Shuichi sighs. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not like we can say no without a good excuse. And it would be  _ awful _ to say it’s because we broke up before the party,” he says, and Gonta gives him a sympathetic smile. “Everyone spent their money on me, which I hate in the first place, and I don’t want to be ungrateful. I’d love this gift in literally any other situation!”

He flops back on the bed with a groan and lets his hands rest on his stomach. “Maybe...we just do breakup after vacation,” Gonta suggests, and Shuichi hums. That’s probably the best alternative they’ve got at the moment. It’s silent for a while, just the sound of the quiet air rushing from the vents. Gonta lays back with him after a moment. “At least they gave Gonta and Shuichi tonight to pack.”

Shuichi lets out a sharp bark of a laugh at that. Gonta doesn’t have classes on Fridays, and Shuichi is fairly sure he’d told Kaede about his classes being cancelled, so their reservation starts at eight in the morning. A whole weekend of apparently spending not even a second apart.

“We could do it before Halloween,” Shuichi suggests, and Gonta hums. “That way we don’t have to act like a couple at any parties or anything. Plus, everyone knows I usually spend all of Halloween night watching horror movies alone in my room, and you probably wouldn’t want to hang around while that happens. Since you’re not a big fan and all.”

Gonta turns his head to look at Shuichi, brows furrowed. “Shuichi remember that?” he asks, and he sounds so genuinely surprised it takes Shuichi a moment to gather himself again and nod. Gonta looks back up at the ceiling. “Gonta know this all pretend, but...Gonta very happy Shuichi remember things about him. Gonta never really had friend that knows little details. Gonta do his best to no forget everyone else’s, ’cuz that would be very ungentlemanly, but...Gonta never thought anybody would wanna remember things about him.”

At that, Shuichi’s the one turning to look at Gonta. “What do you mean? Of course I’d remember stuff about you, Gonta, you’re my friend,” he says, and Gonta smiles gently at him. His hands are positioned like Shuichi’s, the only difference being the vouchers sticking out from behind his fingers. “What about Kirumi and Ryoma? They know stuff about you, surely.”

“Well, yeah, but...Kirumi remember things like birthdays and appointments and classes. Ryoma remembers names of bug friends pretty well. But they not like you, Shuichi,” Gonta tells him, and now their eyes are meeting and Shuichi is half tempted to look away again. In a much quieter voice, Gonta continues. “Nobody ever asked Gonta what his favorite color is before.”

That catches Shuichi off guard, and he blinks a few times before responding. “Wh...never? Not even your parents?” he asks, and he immediately regrets asking. Gonta looks back up at the ceiling and shakes his head. “Well...I’m glad I asked you what it was. Forest green is a very pretty color, you know. I mean, I’m probably not the best person to give my opinion, given my favorite color is sliver.”

It seems like Gonta’s about to say something when there’s a knock at the door. Shuichi heads over to it and opens it. Kaede’s beaming face is there, and she pokes at his shoulder. “Lemme in, I brought gifts!” she chirps, and Shuichi’s eyes widen as she drags a brand new suitcase into the room. “Okay, so this is one of them—hi, Gonta, lovely to see you—and then  _ inside _ is the other one! Wait, technically the suitcase isn’t a gift, Maki needs it when you guys get back, but—!”

“Woah! Slow down, Kaede,” Shuichi says, a laugh lacing his voice. She practically shoves him towards the suitcase, and he unzips it. Gonta’s peering over as well, but Shuichi quickly shuts the suitcase as soon as he gets a glimpse of what’s in it. Bright red, he glares at Kaede. “You take this godforsaken thing out of my room within the next minute or I will crush your piano playing fingers under it.”

Giggling, she gives him a gaudy wink and flounces over to sit on the bed. “Oh, have the two of you gotten a look at the itinerary yet?” she asks, and both of them shake their heads. She takes it from its resting place on the comforter and opens it up. “There’s lots of stuff planned, but there  _ are _ a few hours for free time. As much as I love Miu, I can’t spend  _ every single second _ with my partner, y’know? It’d make sense to give the two of you that same time alone. Plus, I know Shuichi needs time to recharge his social batteries.”

Flushing red, Shuichi zips the suitcase back up and puts it to the side. “Thanks again for the vacation,” he says, though honestly he’d rather be spending his weekend alone and very obviously single. She beams up at him. “It’s been a while since I’ve been anywhere other than home or campus, so it should be...fun. Where’d you get the idea to do this, anyways?”

“Well, Kaito told me you were saying how great it would be to spend some more time with Gonta, and Kirumi said the same thing, but vice versa,” Kaede explains, and Shuichi shoots a confused glance over her shoulder at Gonta, who shrugs helplessly. “So we thought it would be great to give you guys the opportunity to spend a relaxing, romantic weekend away! I’m so glad you like it, could you imagine how embarrassed I’d have been if you hadn’t? Hah!”

Shuichi wants to cringe himself out of existence at that, but he just laughs nervously. “Y-Yeah, that would have been pretty awkward...good thing it’s not like that, right?” he offers weakly, and Kaede grins. He should probably change the subject now. “I haven’t had a birthday party in a while. That was fun! You guys were super sweet to throw me one.”

Waving dismissively, Kaede stands back up. “Don’t mention it! I’m just glad you had a good time,” she tells Shuichi, and she gives his arm a gentle squeeze as she heads over to the door. “Well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone to get packed. Don’t forget, your reservation is super early, okay? And don’t look at me like that, it was the best option they had for a last-minute thing, Shuichi.”

The two of them wave to her, and she shuts the door behind her. As soon as they’re properly alone, Shuichi lets out a long sigh. “This...is not exactly ideal,” he says, exhaustion filling his voice. He settles back down on the bed and grabs the itinerary. The words are blurred; he can’t find the effort to actually read what’s on the page.

Gonta shakes his head. “Not really ideal,” he agrees, and Shuichi smiles gently at him. He still feels awful about keeping Gonta in this stupid situation for longer than it had needed to be. If they had just staged the breakup yesterday, they wouldn’t have had this problem. Then again, there’s no way to know when Kaede had made the reservation. “We prolly should pack. It would be ungentlemanly to be late…”

“You’re probably right. A-And besides, we can do our best to make it a...a fun thing, y’know?” he tries, and Gonta gives him a curious look. “Like...it’ll be a friend vacation! We can still do everything our friends planned for us, it’s not as though it’ll involve anything weird. We’ll do our best to enjoy everything, a-as friends. If that makes any sense…”

Suddenly, Gonta’s giving him a beaming smile. “Yeah! We can make it fun! Gonta will make sure Shuichi have really good birthday trip, no worries,” he says, and Shuichi is very quickly reminded of how grateful he is that it’s Gonta who’s stuck with him rather than anyone else in their class. Standing, Gonta stretches his arms above his head. “Okay! Gonta will go pack now, is Shuichi gonna also?”

“Yeah! I’ll probably pack pyjamas first, get those out of the way,” Shuichi ponders aloud, a little alarmed when Gonta looks clueless as to what he’s said. “You know...sleep clothes? You  _ are _ bringing sleep clothes, right, Gonta?” There’s a little bit of fear there—Shuichi had almost forgotten about Gonta’s...wild upbringing.

A bit red, Gonta nods. “R-Right! Gonta will go and...buy sleep clothes now,” he says sheepishly, and Shuichi may actually die of embarrassment. He opens the door but pauses in the doorway, tucking a stray bit of hair behind his ear. “Gonta will...see Shuichi tomorrow morning, then. Have good night, okay?”

“Thank you, Gonta,” Shuichi says softly. “You too.” Gonta gives him a little wave and closes the door. Shuichi grabs a pillow and screams into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has officially been 365 days since i started writing this fic,,,,


	6. Dawn Of The First Day

Shuichi is exhausted. He wants nothing more than to take a nap, but it’s nearly time for them to check in and then—and he’s going off of what Gonta had sounded like to his half-asleep ears here—they have some weird spa thing not even an hour and a half from now. Apparently, this weekend is high-traffic, and they’re standing behind at least five people. Shuichi feels dead on his feet, and Gonta seems to notice.

“Shuichi can lean on Gonta if he wanna,” Gonta offers quietly, and while Shuichi would normally insist he’s fine and that he can handle standing in line for goodness sakes, he woke up too late to get any coffee in his system. So he nods and leans into Gonta’s side; Gonta’s arm comes to rest around his waist, and Shuichi hums contentedly.

It’s honestly really nice, and Gonta’s basically a human radiator, given how warm he is. They move up a little in the line. The hotel looks really nice, now that Shuichi’s not having to use all his focus on keeping his knees from buckling. The lobby is well-decorated but not gaudy, and the staff seem friendly enough. The weather is nice as well, bright and sunny without being unbearably hot. Which hopefully bodes well for their weekend.

They move up a little further, and Shuichi doesn’t even have the energy to protest when Gonta ends up taking his bag for him. Now they’re next in line, and Shuichi can actually manage to open his eyes by the time they’re at the front. The woman at the front desk smiles warmly at the two of them, and Shuichi gives her a weak smile back. He stands up fully, though he does keep a careful hand on Gonta’s arm.

“Hi, we have these, ah, vouchers,” Shuichi says, handing them over. He almost winces at how tired he sounds; his voice is cracking and sounds kinda rough. She scans them into the system and hands him a room key, explaining that the wi-fi password and TV guide are detailed on a pamphlet inside the room. He thanks her and the two of them step away. “Let’s get up to the room so we can drop all our stuff off. Maybe then I can get a cup of coffee.”

Gonta chuckles quietly as they walk towards the elevators, and Shuichi leans on him again as soon as the button is pressed and they’re stuck waiting idly for one of the big glass elevators to come down. He’s really tired, but he should be able to perk up a bit with some of that sad, tap water hotel coffee he’ll be able to make in the room.

The elevator dings, and the two of them step in, Gonta still carrying both bags. Shuichi had opted to leave the suitcase Kaede had offered with her, given that it would probably be more trouble than it’s worth. Shuichi still feels a little dead on his feet, but it’s made slightly less unbearable by the light elevator music. It’s just boring enough to be pleasant and just upbeat enough not to put him to sleep.

They’re on the sixth floor; it’s not high up, considering the hotel is apparently twenty stories high, but it’s still a bit unsettling to be able to see all the way down through the glass walls of the elevator. Shuichi keeps his gaze on the buttons, his eyelids fluttering. Christ, he really has to get it together. There’s so many things on that stupid itinerary today, and he doesn’t want to waste their class’s gift.

They get out of the elevator and Gonta guides him down the hall to their room. Thankfully, it’s one of those doors with an electronic lock that Shuichi can just tap the key on; it’s much easier than having to slide it. They stumble in—Gonta sets the bags down neatly next to the door—and Shuichi pauses in his tracks.

Well, that’s certainly enough to wake him up a bit. There’s only one bed. And it’s ridiculously undersized, at least for someone like Gonta to be sharing with anybody. Shuichi doesn’t really know why he’d thought there would be two. Obviously, everyone thinking they’re a couple would result in one bed in their hotel room. After all, why would two people in a new relationship need separate ones?

Shuichi glances up at Gonta, who seems like he’s trying not to show how flustered the situation is making him. He’s about to say something, hopefully to lighten the mood, when he spots the coffee machine and lets out a sigh of relief. Gonta looks towards him, then he follows Shuichi’s gaze over at the little coffeemaker perched on the shelf, and he smiles gently.

“Shuichi should go lie down and rest, Gonta can make coffee,” he offers, keeping his voice low and quiet. It’s honestly kind of a pleasant noise. Shuichi shakes his head, though; Gonta doesn’t have to make him coffee, he can do it himself. “Shuichi seem very tired, and it not good to go through such busy day with no energy! You can take nap, and Gonta will make Shuichi coffee for when he wake up!”

“That sounds...ridiculously nice, Gonta,” Shuichi relents after a moment of hesitation. The pillows are practically calling to him, and that blanket looks so warm. He slips off his shoes and steps onto the carpet. “I’ll set an alarm. Is half an hour before the first thing okay? It’s at half past nine, right? It’ll be a short nap, but…”

Gonta hums in thought. “Shuichi should have good nap, so Gonta can wake him up ten minutes before! Spa is inside hotel, so it prolly not a far walk,” he explains, peering over the TV stand at a little guide of the resort. Shuichi’s already slipping under the comforter by the time Gonta looks back over at him again. “Have good sleep, okay?”

Nodding, Shuichi shuts his eyes. He’s really needed this nap. He’d put off packing until last night at the last possible moment, mostly because he hadn’t wanted to think about this vacation at all. It’s the reason Gonta’s still forced into this situation with him, and Shuichi can’t stop feeling guilty about it. He supposes it’s his own fault; he should have just told the truth from the beginning. He’s not the biggest fan of lying anyway, Gonta even less so, and Shuichi hates that he’s stuck the two of them in such an awkward position.

Sadly, his nap  _ does _ have to come to an end, and he’s awoken by both the scent of coffee and Gonta gently nudging his shoulder. Eyelids fluttering open, Shuichi’s met with Gonta’s slightly awed expression. “Whuh...mmh, g’morning,” he murmurs, and he hums in thanks when Gonta hands him the warm mug of coffee. He takes a sip; God, it tastes good. Shuichi had really,  _ really _ needed this. When he’s done with the next few gulps, he notices Gonta still looking at him. “I-Is there something on my face?”

Casting his gaze aside, Gonta’s cheeks pinken just a bit. “Ah, n-no, Shuichi just...look very different when he wake up,” Gonta tells him, and Shuichi figures it’s probably the bedhead. He reaches up and smooths down the cowlicks there, though there’s always that one strand that refuses to lay flat no matter what he does. “Um, when Shuichi ready, we can head down to hotel spa and do the first thing on itinerary!”

With that, he stands again and moves towards the little desk in the corner of the room. Shuichi sips on his coffee and checks his phone. There’s a few texts, mostly from Kaede and Kaito, all asking if they got to the hotel, how the room is so far. He sends back a quick response saying that they have, and that the room is just  _ perfect _ and clicks the phone off. He glances over at Gonta, who’s rather focused on some papers on the desk, and Shuichi can barely make out a list of something and prices. It’s probably just the room service menu, but it’s not like they can order anything off of it.

The last dregs of the coffee are all that remain in Shuichi’s mug soon enough, and he reluctantly stands from the bed to grab his swim trunks from his bag. When Gonta gives him a quizzical look, Shuichi goes a little red. “I-I just figured since it’s a spa,” he stutters out, inching over towards the bathroom. “Just in case, y’know?”

He slips into the bathroom before he can embarrass himself further. It’s surprisingly nice; marble countertops and a huge shower with a frosted glass stall. There’s a nice, temperature-adjustable bath as well, in addition to a little vanity. Shuichi takes off his pants and boxers and pulls the swim trunks on. He’s not exactly the most confident person, and if this spa is anything like the ones in his hometown, he’d rather keep some semblance of privacy, thank you very much.

When he exits the bathroom, Gonta’s got swim trunks on as well, and Shuichi quickly averts his eyes from Gonta’s—holy  _ shit _ how are his muscles so defined?!—legs. “Shuichi had really good idea, Gonta hope you not mind,” he says, and Shuichi waves dismissively. It’s honestly not a big deal, and he’s a tad relieved that Gonta had taken his subtle suggestion. “You ready to head downstairs?”

Shuichi nods, and they head out of the room, Gonta slipping the itinerary and room key into his shirt pocket as they walk down the hall towards the elevators. The wait for the elevator is slightly awkward—mostly because neither of them really know what to say—as is the ride down to the fourth floor. As they make their way towards the spa, Gonta does his best to start up a conversation, despite the slight tension in the air.

“So...Shuichi sleep well?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi jumps a bit. He’s not sure why he’d thought they’d walk in silence. Gonta’s a very talkative person, after all, and—Shuichi should probably give some indication of an answer now, given the fact Gonta’s staring at him expectantly. He nods, and Gonta looks away again. “That good. Gonta glad Shuichi got to sleep in little bit more.”

Smiling, albeit a bit nervously, Shuichi glances over at the plaques on the doors. “I’m glad, too. I was pretty much dead on my feet,” he quips, and Gonta chuckles quietly. Evidently, there hadn’t been any point in looking at the plaques, because the spa is very obvious once they reach it. Big, glass doors and almost too many potted plants. The word  _ SPA _ spelled out in lights probably contributes a bit. “I, uh. Haven’t read the itinerary yet. What exactly are we supposed to be doing in here?”

Fumbling in his pocket for a moment, Gonta pulls it out and hands it over. “It say couple’s massage first, right? Then lunch at tearoom, a-and then...tiki party?” he says, peering over Shuichi’s shoulder. The close proximity makes Shuichi a bit flustered, but he chalks it up to him not doing well with personal space in the first place. “What that mean?”

“Probably an excuse for middle aged couples to get drunk while their kids run around the pool with hula hoops,” Shuichi snorts, and Gonta gives him an unsure smile. “But...it’ll probably be fun, don’t you think? I mean, it shouldn’t be  _ too _ bad. There’s probably drinks for us too.”

Gonta goes a bit red at that and looks away, and Shuichi suddenly regrets bringing it up. But he can’t exactly make amends, given that their appointment is now, and he doesn’t want to waste their classmates’ money. They head into a remarkably white room—really, it’s impeccably clean, what the actual  _ hell. _ There’s a receptionist in a variation of the hotel uniform, white and soothing compared to the ramrod straight office-type clothes they’d seen at the people working the front desk.

“Hello, gentlemen, how might I be of service today?” she asks, calmly glancing up at them from her computer. She pushes her silver-rimmed glasses up her nose; she looks ridiculously well put-together, and Shuichi’s a little intimidated at how sleek she looks. “Do you have a reservation?”

“Ah, y-yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s for a massage?” Shuichi says, more like a question than a confident statement, and the woman at the desk nods, typing rapidly on the keyboard. Gonta gives him a nervous smile, and Shuichi’s pretty sure they’re equally anxious about this whole thing. “I’m, ah, not really sure whose name it’s under…” He’s referring to himself or Kaede, who had evidently planned most of the reservations on the trip, but the receptionist gives him a stark reminder that this trip is a  _ couple’s _ trip.

“I can assure you, if it’s a couple’s massage, it should be under you or your partner’s name. Not to worry, gentlemen,” she assures the two of them. She narrows her eyes—hard to see since the screen is reflecting off her glasses—as she scans what is presumably a list of reservations. “Hm, is it for a Shuichi Saihara? Room 603?”

Relieved, Shuichi nods and hands her his ID. After a quick check over it, she smiles and hands it back. A few more button-pushes on the keyboard later, and not even a minute later, there’s a kind-looking woman in the same pristine white uniform coming out from the hall. It’s a bit reminiscent of a hospital, what with how clean and sterile everything looks. Both of them smile awkwardly, standing  _ just _ enough apart that it’s not suspicious.

“Mr. Saihara? Ah, and this must be your partner,” the woman says, and Shuichi’s almost hypnotized by how calm her voice sounds. She extends a hand to him, then to Gonta. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both. I’ll be your masseuse for today. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to our session room.”

They follow her to the back, then behind a curtain. Now they’re in a rather zen-looking room, the kind you’d see in a movie where there’s a ridiculously stereotyped temple area. Shuichi chalks it up to tacky hotel decorating. It’s dimly lit, way too many candles and bonsai trees and an actual salt lamp in the corner being the only source of light. The two of them are instructed to take their shirts off, since it’s a back-only massage, and settle on the massage tables.

Gonta looks a little nervous as the masseuse leaves the room to give them some privacy. “Hey, you doing alright?” Shuichi asks, and Gonta nods, but his face is an open book. His emotions are always easy to read. Not that that’s a bad thing, of course. It just makes him more approachable, in Shuichi’s opinion. “You...if you don’t want to, we can just go back to the room. I could just say I’m feeling sick or something.”

Shaking his head, Gonta grips the hem of his shirt. Shuichi doesn’t often see him in t-shirts. He’s usually always wearing a button-down. “Just...please not stare for too long,” Gonta says quietly, and Shuichi goes a bit red. The implication there is probably unintended, but it’s still rather flustering. However, when Gonta takes off his shirt, it’s pretty obvious why he’d mentioned the possibility of it. “Sorry...Gonta meant to warn Shuichi before pool, but, ah…”

There’s a wide expanse of scars across his back. Claw marks, mostly, but a few that are probably described best as the remnants of gashes. Shuichi quickly looks away. He’s got a few scars of his own, but they’re nothing like Gonta’s. His are scrapes from falling off of bikes and doing stupid shit with his siblings when he was a kid, they’re not practically battle wounds. Still, it’s clearly something Gonta’s touchy about, so Shuichi elects to say nothing.

Instead, he takes his own shirt off and laughs a little, albeit awkwardly. “Uh, y’know, I’ve never gotten shirtless in front of anybody outside of my family before. Well, except for maybe Kaito, but that’s only because he wanted to train in the rec center, and I wasn’t about to get in the pool with my shirt on, so I—oh, sorry, I-I’m rambling, my bad,” he sputters out, and Gonta gives him a tiny, nervous smile. “A-Anyways, we should probably, uh—I mean, unless you don’t want to, um, do the massage, or…”

“It fine, no worries,” Gonta assures him, and Shuichi gets the slightest inkling he’s holding back a laugh. They get onto the massage tables, and Shuichi plants his head on his hands, looking at Gonta out of the corner of his eye. He wants to  _ ask, _ but Gonta had asked him not to stare, so clearly, asking would be— “They from the forest. Just…early on. Before forest family came to help Gonta survive.”

Nodding, Shuichi promptly returns his attention to the floor. The massage is nice, calming and just painful enough that Shuichi’s pretty sure it’s working. There’s a weird bit where the masseuse asks them to join hands, and thankfully they’re on the right sides to hold hands comfortably, but other than that, he’s pretty happy with how it’s turned out. The masseuse  _ does _ make a comment about how oddly tense Gonta’s shoulder muscles are, and while Shuichi would rather keep his thoughts off of his friend’s shoulder muscles, it does stick with him while they’re headed to the little tearoom they’re supposed to have lunch at.

Their friends reserved a tucked-away booth in the corner of the tearoom for the two of them, which is honestly a bit of a relief. As they sit, Shuichi runs a hand through his hair. The cutesy menus tucked against the wall are pretty neat, and the décor has a really pretty aesthetic, so Shuichi’s kinda happy about having lunch here. There’s a bunch of different kinds of tea on the menu, and it’s a little stupid how excited Shuichi is over it, but it’s  _ his _ birthday trip, so screw it.

“So, what are you gonna get?” Shuichi asks once he's finally decided on rosehip tea, one of those little finger sandwich thingies, and an odd-sounding chocolate pastry. Gonta hums, still studying the menu. “I dunno if you’d be a big fan of some of the more bitter teas...hm. You could try chamomile or rosehip. That’s the one I’m getting. I’ll probably end up putting milk and sugar in, too, so…”

Nodding, Gonta runs a finger down the list of teas. “Shuichi say he getting rosehip, right? Then Gonta prolly just get what Shuichi’s getting,” Gonta says. Shuichi makes to tell Gonta to get what he  _ actually _ wants, but Gonta starts up before he can. “Um, Gonta never been to tearoom before, s-so Gonta trust Shuichi’s judgement. Gonta not very picky eater, either, so it no worries!”

Shuichi’s not entirely satisfied with that, but he figures this shouldn’t be the hill he dies on. They sit in comfortable silence waiting for their server, and as soon as they’re done ordering, they’re back to the quiet again. The tearoom is full of couples, all snuggled together on the same side of their booths. It’s a little silly, Shuichi thinks, but he’s not gonna judge any further. It  _ does _ kind of put a damper on their own lunch though; just another reminder the two of them are stuck in this stupid plan together.

After lunch, the tiki party is in full swing. And, as it turns out, Shuichi had been right. Most of the people at the party are absolutely wasted already, about half of them being middle-aged parents with screaming children. The other half are younger people, probably close to Shuichi and Gonta in age. There’s a bar at the far side of the pool; hell, there’s a bar  _ in _ the pool. It’s honestly really damn cool, if Shuichi allows himself the thought.

Little waterfalls line the edge of one little pocket of the pool, a bunch of tropical-looking flowers and plants surrounding them. Shuichi figures they’re probably fake, given the fact it’s the beginning of September. Either that or the groundskeeper has the greenest thumb in history. He leads Gonta over to one of the only free lounge chairs and sets his stuff down.

“I’m probably not gonna swim,” Shuichi tells Gonta, and he has to raise his voice a bit due to the music booming from the speakers near the bar. “I can stay here with the stuff if  _ you _ want to, I just want to grab a drink first, y’know? Uh, I’ll be over at the bar that’s not in the pool. That one, o-over there.”

It’s awkward, but Gonta nods and sits almost comically politely down on the lounge chair as Shuichi heads over to the bar. He decides to just grab the sweetest-sounding drink on the menu, rather than attempt to down a beer. He pays, then heads back to the lounge chair. Gonta stands, lets Shuichi settle into the chair, and he takes his shirt off, folding it neatly before setting it down next to Shuichi. And yeah, Shuichi’s not into Gonta like that, but he’s not blind. It’s hard to look away.

Evidently, Gonta garners a bit of attention from some drunk ladies sitting near them, and Shuichi reaches out to grab his hand, almost on instinct. Gonta tilts his head quizzically, and Shuichi gives him a shaky smile before squeezing his hand once and letting go again. He takes a few sips from his drink and closes his eyes. The sun is nice, the weather isn’t too cold, and soon enough, Shuichi’s done with his drink and the warmth of the sunlight is making him a bit drowsy.

He figures he’ll just shut his eyes for a while, not too long. But then he’s fast asleep—this is his second nap of the day—and he wakes up to an empty pool and an umbrella over him. Shuichi groans as he sits up and rubs at his eyes. “Oh, Shuichi! You awake,” Gonta says from the lounge chair next to him, keeping his voice soft. Shuichi nods and moves to grab his drink before remembering he’d downed the last of it before his nap. “Pool party ended little bit ago, but Shuichi look really peaceful, so Gonta not wanna wake him up. You very sleepy though...Shuichi feeling okay?”

Nodding, Shuichi runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah. My sleep schedule is probably just out of whack, y’know?” he hums, and Gonta nods. “I-If you want, we can get some takeout or something. We already sat down to eat out earlier, I’m kind of just in the mood for eating crappy food in a hotel room, i-if that’s okay.”

Gonta beams at him. “Of course! What you wanna get to eat?” he asks, and that’s how they end up where they are now, eating some noodles out of takeout boxes on their little hotel bed. The room is completely dark, save for the glow of the TV as an old romantic comedy plays. The plot is completely ridiculous, but both of them are equally captivated. There are tears in both of their eyes as the main character professes her love to her best friend. Gonta sniffs, and Shuichi glances over at him. “Th-They just...so in love!”

“And he was so  _ oblivious! _ All the signs were right there!” Shuichi says, blinking rapidly. Gonta nods eagerly. Shaking his head as the screen fades to the credits, Shuichi sets his now empty box of takeout in the little trash can next to the nightstand. “Alright, I’m gonna go take a shower and get changed.”

The shower is as nice as Shuichi had thought it would be. The towels are fluffy, and though it’s a little cold in the room, his pyjamas make it slightly bearable. Then, when Gonta’s done with his own shower and getting into pyjamas—thankfully—the issue arises of sleeping arrangement.

“U-Um, Gonta can sleep on the floor if Shuichi want! He not really mind,” Gonta says, and Shuichi feels awful for even considering it. He goes to reassure Gonta that he doesn’t have to, but Gonta speaks up before he can. “Gonta know Shuichi prolly not want him to, but if it would make Shuichi more comfortable, then…”

Gonta really is too nice for his own good. “No, no, don’t worry about it, I-I can sleep on the floor,” Shuichi offers instead, and he can tell Gonta’s already ready to protest. “Okay, um, what if we just...we could just share…? I-I mean, it’s platonic anyway, right? So it’s not a big deal if we share a bed for the weekend. It might be, um, a tight fit, but we could probably make it work.”

A little red in the face, Gonta nods, and he holds up a corner of the comforter. Shuichi realizes he’s offering for Shuichi to get in and comfortable first, so he does. Gonta gets into the bed after him, and it’s very obvious that they’re not going to be able to sleep comfortably without touching. Gonta seems rather flustered, and from the lack of contact, Shuichi can tell he’s practically hanging off the bed in an attempt to not make Shuichi uncomfortable.

“Shuichi sure he not want Gonta to sleep on the floor?” Gonta asks quietly, and his voice sounds distant; he must be facing the other way. Shuichi shakes his head, and he decides that comfort probably trumps whatever embarrassment this is going to cause. He reaches behind him and tugs on Gonta’s arm until he feels him turn around, then brings it around his waist. “Shuichi sure this okay?”

Shuichi nods. It’s surprisingly easy to fall asleep, despite how hot his face feels.


	7. Saturdays Are For The Boys (But Just Two Of Them)

Shuichi had almost forgotten about their little bed predicament until he wakes up to Gonta’s vice grip around his waist; somehow they’d ended up even closer together than they had been last night. Both of Gonta’s arms are around his waist, and Shuichi’s head rests on Gonta’s chest. He lifts his head slightly, but when he tries to get up, Gonta’s arms just tighten around him. It’s kind of like being chained to a teddy bear.

Letting out a little frustrated sigh, Shuichi tries again, with mostly no luck. “Hey, Gonta, are you awake?” he asks, despite knowing the answer. To his surprise, though, Gonta lets out a little hum; his voice is rough with sleep, and Shuichi has to take a second to focus again. “D’you wanna let go of me so we can go get breakfast…?”

He’s hoping it comes off as an easy joke, rather than the way it most likely sounds: awkward. But Gonta just nods, slowly opening his eyes. Abruptly, his hold on Shuichi drops. “Ah! Gonta so sorry! He not mean to do anything to make Shuichi uncomfy!” he says, and he’s starting to sound a little more awake now. Gonta scrambles to leave the bed, and Shuichi’s left a bit bewildered under the covers.

“I-It’s fine, Gonta! Really, I’m not, like, mad or anything. It was probably unintentional anyways, so no harm done,” Shuichi assures him. Gonta nods, but he still looks unsure of himself, so Shuichi stands and stretches. “See? I’m fine, don’t worry about it. Let’s just go down to the lobby and get some breakfast, yeah?”

With that settled, they’re taking another trip down the glass elevator to the lobby. The little breakfast area is fairly empty; it’s pretty early, after all, so Shuichi supposes it makes sense. The few people that  _ are _ there are mostly couples or families. Gonta points out where the food setup is, and they head over to grab breakfast.

Hotel food is surprisingly good, all things considered. Shuichi had opted for a lighter meal, but it’s still pretty filling. Suddenly, Gonta’s eyes go wide, and he drops his napkin. “Oh! It Shuichi’s birthday today!” he says, and Shuichi honestly hadn’t remembered. “Happy birthday! Ah, Gonta should prolly show Shuichi what everybody plan, huh?”

He opens up the little itinerary and slides it over to Shuichi. Access to the different baths in the hotel’s spa from two to five, dinner at one of the local restaurants about an hour later, and a wine-tasting event. “Honestly, this sounds pretty fun,” Shuichi says, and given that they have quite a bit of time before the first thing on the itinerary, they pretty much have five free hours to spend however they want. “I might go walk around the city for a while and see what they’ve got to do. What are you gonna do?”

“Oh, um, Gonta was just gonna do whatever Shuichi wanted,” he says, cheeks a bit pink as he picks at what’s left of his food. Shuichi’s a bit surprised, but then again, it  _ is _ Gonta he’s talking to. “Since it Shuichi’s birthday and all...but i-if Shuichi wanna be alone, that okay too! Gonta can find something to do! No worries!”

“Nah, it’s okay. It’ll be fun to go do stuff together, y’know? I mean, aside from the stuff we’re required to do together,” Shuichi says, laughing a bit awkwardly. But that’s enough for Gonta to send a beaming smile his way, so Shuichi’s not exactly upset. “Thanks for, um, being so nice about this whole thing. A-And I’m not just talking about the trip, I mean the whole...fake dating thing. I know this is kind of weird to say, but it’s...nice, in a way, to be stuck in it with someone like you, Gonta.”

Chuckling quietly, Gonta nods. “Yeah. Gonta not really sure if he good at it, but...Gonta glad he can be helpful,” he says, and he sounds so sincere that Shuichi’s a little taken aback. “Shuichi is such nice friend to Gonta, so it the least Gonta can do to help him! Shuichi always so nice to everyone, and he only doing this to protect everyone’s feelings, so it make sense to help him!”

It’s a touching sentiment, really, but Shuichi still feels bad about their situation. Gonta doesn’t really seem to mind, though, so he tries his hardest not to let it bother him. “Alright, well, do you want to get going?” Shuichi asks, glancing down at his phone. He’s browsing a bit, trying to find some interesting stuff nearby. “There’s some shops and stuff a few blocks down, we could probably grab lunch there later, too, before we head back to the spa.”

Gonta agrees, and soon enough, they’re headed downtown. There’s clothing shops, most of which are outlet stores, but there’s one small shop that catches Shuichi’s eye. It’s full of clothes that absolutely go with Shuichi’s aesthetic, and despite his wallet screaming for mercy, Shuichi’s tempted to buy so much of it. He’s looking at an almost-parody of a varsity jacket, much too big to be his size, but that just makes it better. It’s black and leather and just  _ so damn cool, _ and Shuichi really would like it, but the price tag on it makes him wince.

Evidently, Gonta sees him do this, because he takes the jacket from the rack and pulls out his wallet. Shuichi’s jaw drops open, but before he can say anything, Gonta beams at him. “It Shuichi’s birthday, right? So Gonta will get him whatever he want today!” Gonta chirps, and Shuichi immediately feels bad. “Money not really an issue, so if Shuichi want something, just tell Gonta, okay?”

He nods, but it’s not as though he’s going to point out everything he likes; Shuichi would never use Gonta like that. But every time he lingers around an item—more like every time he checks the price tag—Gonta’s offering to buy that thing for him. And he always says no, that he’s not interested, but if he so much as takes a second look, Gonta’s adding it to the ever-growing pile in his arms.

At this point, Shuichi’s worried Gonta’s going to drain his savings buying out the store, so he decides to call it a day in that particular store when there are eight different, way too expensive items in Gonta’s arms. It  _ is _ a little embarrassing when even the cashier is shocked at how many things Gonta’s buying for him, though. Shuichi’s stream of “thank you”s doesn’t cease until they reach a shop that Gonta’s interested in.

There are all kinds of crystals and little knick knacks lining the shelves, along with miniature fountains made out of sculpted, smooth rocks. It’s a bit surprising, in all honesty. Shuichi hadn’t expected Gonta to be a fan of stuff like this. Beaming, Gonta brings one tiny lantern up to the counter; it’s made out of a geode, so there’s a ton of different colors that shine when he clicks the little  _ try me _ button, and it’s really neat. Shuichi can’t blame him for buying something so niche and pretty.

They move on to lunch not long after, a little burger joint where Gonta insists on paying yet again, even though Shuichi tries to hand the cashier his card first. Gonta even orders a milkshake for him! And yeah, it’s Shuichi’s birthday, but he still feels bad letting Gonta buy things for him. Shuichi’s never really liked  _ anyone _ buying him stuff. It comes off as taking advantage in his eyes, but then again, he has no problem spending his own money on other people. Paradoxical, in a way. Spending money on people is just going to make them more inclined to do the same for him, after all.

After lunch, they head to a little block of shops that are mostly just jewelry stores and expensive-looking boutiques. Shuichi’s not really interested in most of it, though it looks kind of cool. His attention is more drawn to the electronics store a little ways away. He’s been needing new headphones for a while, and he’s determined to buy at least one thing himself on this little outing of theirs.

The store itself is one of those hi-tech, tries too hard to be futuristic stores, and it smells like the inside of a new car. He makes a beeline for the headphones and checks out his options. He could go with something wireless, or stick on the cheaper side and run the risk of having to replace them sooner rather than later. He picks up a nice pair of silver ones, the sort that fit over your ears and have bluetooth and adjustable bass, but they’re...pricey, to say the least. He reluctantly puts them back, sighing as he moves on to the earbuds. Those are probably closer to his price range, after all, and—

_ Why is Gonta going up to the cash register with the headphones Shuichi had just put back? _

Okay, absolutely not. The clothes were one thing, but these stupid headphones are over ten thousand yen. Shuichi cannot let Gonta pay that much for  _ headphones, _ that would just be blatantly taking advantage of his kindness. He hurries over and manages to get a grip on Gonta’s arm to stop him.

“Gonta, you cannot buy those for me,” Shuichi says, and Gonta tilts his head just a bit, not in upset, but in confusion. Like he has no idea why buying something like this for Shuichi would be incredibly kind and absolutely ridiculous. “They’re crazy expensive,  _ please, _ you really don’t have to get them! I was gonna settle for a pair of earbuds anyway, a-and I’ll buy the earbuds since they’re a more  _ reasonable _ price, thirty thousand yen for a pair of headphones is crazy anyway, so it really doesn’t even matter—”

“Shuichi,” Gonta says softly, cutting him off, and Shuichi lets out a brief sigh, “you want the headphones, right?” At that, Shuichi looks away. Sure, he  _ wants _ them, but he’s definitely not about to drain Gonta’s savings for them, nor his own. He could probably splurge on them, since it’s his birthday and all, but it’s ridiculous anyway. “Shuichi want them, so Gonta will get them for him, it no problem.”

_ Dammit. _ What part of this isn’t he getting? “No, it  _ is _ a problem, Gonta, these are incredibly expensive, you cannot buy these for me,” Shuichi reiterates, hoping that somehow changing around a few words will change Gonta’s mind. “I’m okay with just settling for some earbuds! It’s what I have now, anyway, it’s not a big deal!”

Gonta’s brow furrows, and Shuichi wants to cry out in frustration. “But...Shuichi want the silver headphones,” he says slowly, like Shuichi’s the one not getting the point here. The cringe Shuichi suppresses is causing him physical pain. “And it Shuichi’s birthday, so Shuichi should get what he want, right? So Gonta will buy them.”

There’s no point to this conversation, Shuichi realizes. Gonta’s just too nice. “That’s too generous, Gonta, please,” he says after another moment, and Gonta looks even  _ more _ confused at the implication there could be such a thing as  _ too _ generous. “You’re under no obligation to spend money on me just because it’s my birthday. You’ve already done more than enough for me! And besides, I would feel bad if you spent that much on just one thing, Gonta, really, it’s fine. We’re gonna be late to the scheduled thing at the hotel anyway if we keep arguing!”

“We...arguing?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers. The hotel excuse seems to sway Gonta as he looks down at his watch, though, and soon enough, the subject is dropped and they’re headed back to the hotel. As Shuichi’s about to get changed for the spa, Gonta speaks up. “Gonta sorry he not understand why Shuichi was upset...a-and Gonta not mean to make him upset...so Gonta very sorry, Shuichi.”

Waving a hand dismissively, Shuichi shrugs. “Nah, it’s not your fault. You’re just...kind to a fault sometimes, you know? You do so much for everybody without asking for anything in return and I just...I sort of felt like I’d be taking advantage of how nice you are if I let you pay for anything else,” he admits, and while Gonta still looks a little confused, he nods.

As soon as they’re both ready, they head down to the hotel spa. There are several different baths; one that’s just spring water, one with mineral water and electrolytes, one that Shuichi is pretty sure is watered down wine, a  _ coffee _ bath, and a few more down the path, just far enough that Shuichi can’t quite make out the lettering of the signs labeling them.

The mineral water one looks the coziest—and the warmest—so Shuichi heads over to the little set of showers by the entrance. The hotel spa apparently requires swim trunks; Shuichi supposes it makes sense, given that this isn’t the most  _ traditional _ bathhouse. The mineral water spring is really nice, so Shuichi hums and sinks down into the waters, letting himself soak. Gonta’s not far behind him, and he seems equally relaxed as the water washes over him.

Beside them, atop the tile, Shuichi’s phone buzzes from where he’d set it. A text from Kaede, reading  _ Heyy! You guys enjoying your bday trip?? Send the gc some pics of the two of you!! We all wanna know how it’s going! _ Shuichi snorts and opens up the camera app. “Oh, Shuichi wanna take a picture?” Gonta asks, a nervous smile on his face.

“Ah, yeah, Kaede just texted and apparently everyone wants to see one of us,” Shuichi explains, cheeks just a tad more pink than he can explain away with the heat of the water. “Um, i-it should probably look c-coupley…? So if you wanna, like, lean in or something…”

Gonta does, very awkwardly looping his arm around the stretch of stone behind Shuichi’s shoulders. Shuichi leans in and smiles as bright as he can, and Gonta follows suit as Shuichi’s finger taps the little shutter button. Shuichi sends it off to their class group chat with a quick caption of  _ thanks for the trip guys :) _ and sets his phone back down on the dry rock. That hadn’t been too bad, Shuichi supposes; he doesn’t have any pictures of him and Gonta anyway, not like the ones he has with Kaede and Kaito, so that’s honestly...kinda nice.

Their spa slot only lasts until five, and their dinner reservation in one of the hotel’s restaurants is at six, so they have almost an hour to get ready after they’re done at the baths. Shuichi really,  _ really _ wants to try that temperature-controlled bath, but he knows he’s not going to be able to get out of a perpetually hot bath in time for dinner. As a result, the two of them end up taking showers and putting on some nice clothes.

In Shuichi’s case, it’s the only nice outfit he’d packed, but he’s fairly certain that Gonta’s clothes are all just like that—they’re all suits, but it’s anyone’s guess as to which ones Gonta deems as casual. At ten minutes to six-thirty, they head up to the tenth floor; apparently that’s where the hotel ballroom is, too, so Shuichi’s assuming this is where most events at the hotel happen. The restaurant is really classy. It’s a steakhouse, and while Shuichi knows Gonta’s probably going to foot the bill no matter how much Shuichi protests, the prices on the menu still make him want to cringe.

Gonta orders first, and Shuichi gets the same thing. Maybe then, Gonta will let him pay for at least his half of the meal. “So, ah, we have wine tasting after, yeah?” Gonta asks as their waitress walks away, and Shuichi nods, swirling around his water. The ice clinks pleasantly against the glass. “Gonta never had wine before...is it good?”

Shuichi tilts his free hand back and forth. “Eh. I guess it depends on your tastes. I like red wine, but rosé is usually too sweet for me,” he says with a shrug. Gonta hums, brow furrowed in thought. “It should be fun, though! I’ve never been wine tasting before, but my dad took my mom to one for their twentieth anniversary, and my mom almost lost her mind over how much cheese they had there. I wonder if it’s anything like that.”

Gonta nods, and the conversation sort of rests until their waitress brings their food out and they agree on how delicious it is. It’s really good; Shuichi doesn’t usually sit down and eat out, he opts for takeout whenever he’s not throwing ramen on the stove and hoping for the best when Kirumi isn’t cooking.

“So...Shuichi having good birthday?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi grins at him as he nods. It honestly  _ has _ been really great, despite him worrying over prices all day. “Great! Gonta very glad Shuichi happy. Um, Shuichi want dessert, or…? Do we have time?”

A quick glance at his phone shows that they probably don’t. Which sucks, because there was tiramisu on the menu, but Shuichi supposes that can’t be helped. “Nah, I don’t think so. But hey, maybe they’ll have some at the wine tasting,” he says hopefully. Jeez, he hadn’t realized how fancy their schedule sounds until now. It’s a little embarrassing, but it’s really nice of their friends to put together something like this.

Shuichi’s phone buzzes, and sure enough, it’s one of the multitude of texts from that godforsaken group chat he's been ignoring. Kaito’s just sent  _ HEY!! Lemme see my sidekick having the best steak in the whole city!!! Come on, send us something!!! _ The following texts from everyone else online are all clamoring in agreement. He sighs and sets the phone down again. He doesn’t exactly feel like pressing Gonta for a picture.

“Everything okay?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi just gives him a tired nod. Noting the glare Shuichi’s aiming at his phone, Gonta takes out his own, and judging from his confused, embarrassed expression, he’s also reading through the chat. “Um, i-if Shuichi wanna take another picture, that okay! Gonta not mind.”

It’s a little awkward, but eventually, they get a good picture of the both of them at the table, Shuichi taking the picture over his shoulder, back facing the table with Gonta giving a little wave in the background. Deciding to set his phone on silent before it can blow up with responses, Shuichi sets it aside and runs a hand through his hair. Their waitress approaches with the check, and before Shuichi can even attempt to get it, Gonta’s tucking his card into the bill and handing it right back over.

“I told you, you really don’t have to pay for me just because it’s my birthday,” Shuichi mumbles, but Gonta just shrugs. It genuinely doesn’t seem like a big deal to him. “I was gonna ask for two checks...but thank you. It means a lot, I’m not really, ah, used to this sort of thing. Even when I was  _ actually _ dating people, we’d usually just split the bill or something…you’re really too nice to me, Gonta.”

Gonta looks like he’s going to say something else, but he glances down at his phone and notices the time, first. “We gonna be late if we not leave soon,” Gonta mumbles, and Shuichi hums. It's been about an hour and a half since they sat down, so the wine tasting  _ is _ really soon. But they only have to walk a few blocks to get to the little vineyard by the pier. Thankfully, their waitress returns Gonta’s card sooner rather than later, and they’re headed out. Shuichi presses a bit closer to Gonta as they walk; it’s getting dark, and Shuichi’s not the biggest fan of walking at night. “Ah, you okay, Shuichi?”

It’s a bit cold, too, so Shuichi clutches his jacket tighter around himself. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Just unnerved, is all. It’s kinda, uh...weird to walk around this late,” he explains, and he shivers. So maybe it’s a bit colder than he’d anticipated. His jacket isn’t anything heavier than a sport coat, and the wind is starting to pick up. Suddenly, he’s a lot warmer, and his face gets equally warm as he realizes Gonta’s just given him his jacket. “O-Oh, no, you don’t have to—”

“Don’t be silly! Gonta feeling little bit warm anyway,” he says, though Shuichi’s eyes narrow when he spots Gonta’s hands trembling a bit. Whether that’s from the cold or possible anxiety over the wine tasting—Shuichi doubts he’s had much experience with drinking, if at all—is anybody’s guess. “So, ah...vineyard is there?”

He points over at a pretty, older-looking building by a small field. It certainly looks the part, and Shuichi can finally make out the painted text on the brick reading the same name as the one on their itinerary. “You know, I’ve never done this either, so we’re both going in blind. Don’t worry too much,” he says, just in case Gonta’s furrowed brow is from nervousness rather than the chilly weather. They head closer to the building, and as soon as Gonta holds the door open, ever the gentleman, they’re bathed in warm air.

The winery is very classy; there’s an antique feel to it with its vintage aesthetic and rustic furniture. Judging from the bottles along the walls, they’re probably going to get a wide variety of wines to try out. And, as soon as they’ve given Shuichi’s name for the event and sat at a little table on the patio of the winery, it’s very apparent that’s exactly the case.

They’re brought tiny glass cups of wine, but there’s enough of them to be adding up. Shuichi’s not exactly a lightweight, and wine usually doesn’t have much of an effect on him anyway, but they’re only on number nineteen when he starts to feel a bit tipsy. There’s also cheese, and some chocolate truffles depending on the wine they’re tasting, and everything is really delicious. He looks up at Gonta, and he realizes that number nineteen is  _ well _ past tipsy for Gonta.

He’s wide-eyed as they’re brought number twenty—only five more, evidently—and Shuichi watches Gonta sip on the wine and wince. “Shuichi having...good time?” Gonta asks, leaning his chin on his hand and taking one of the little truffles off the tray. Kind of amused, Shuichi nods, and Gonta grins. “Tha’s...good! Gonta very glad!”

Number twenty-one goes by, then twenty-two, and by twenty-three, Shuichi’s starting to get a little worried. Gonta’s cheeks are flushed, and he doesn’t seem to like the wine at all, but he’s still doing his best to participate. Evidently, numbers twenty-four and twenty-five are enough to make him giggle at nothing.

The wine tasting is over now, and Shuichi has to shoulder one of Gonta’s arms; when he’d stood, he’d swayed, and Shuichi would rather not watch him fall. Thankfully, the walk back is uninterrupted, and they pile into the elevator. Shuichi lets go of Gonta to hit the button, and Gonta beams at him, crossing his arms. His cheeks are still pink, and his eyes are slightly unfocused. It’d be funny if Shuichi wasn’t feeling a little guilty for unintentionally getting Gonta drunk.

As soon as they get up to the room, it becomes very apparent that Gonta’s an affectionate drunk, judging by the way he tugs Shuichi into the world’s tightest hug. “You, uh, okay?” Shuichi asks as he pulls himself away, laughing nervously. Gonta nods. Shuichi should probably get him into bed. He’ll apologize for it in the morning, but he goes through Gonta’s suitcase to find some pyjamas. He presses them into Gonta’s arms and smiles. “Here you go. You can use the bathroom to get changed, I’ll get into my pyjamas while you’re in there. Then we’ll go right to bed, okay?”

Gonta nods, and he goes into the bathroom, swaying a little as he goes. Shuichi pulls his own pyjamas on as quickly as he can, and he pours Gonta a glass of water. Gonta comes out of the bathroom,  _ only _ wearing pants, and Shuichi promptly decides to stare at his feet as he hands over the glass. Gonta happily gulps it down, and then Shuichi finds himself being tugged into the bed, pressed against Gonta’s bare chest.

“Mmh, is too hot for a shirt...Shuichi have good birthday?” Gonta mumbles, and Shuichi nods, managing to twist away enough to be nose-to-nose with Gonta. “Tha’s good...Gonta very glad it was...good time. Gonta never had wine b’fore, so is...little confusing.” Shuichi nods again; he’d figured as much. “Thank you for taking care of Gonta, Shu—Shuichi! Oh! Gonta not get you a birthday present! So sorry!”

“Gonta...you bought me so much stuff today,” Shuichi says, and Gonta lets out a little gasp of surprise. It’s honestly kind of funny. “Besides, you putting up with this whole stupid plan is gift enough. I can’t even begin to thank you for that.”

Humming, Gonta’s eyelids flutter shut. “Oh, right, we gotta...look like we dating,” Gonta mumbles, and he leans forward to press a light kiss to Shuichi’s nose. “Issat good? Did Gonta make it look like we dating?”

Shuichi gives him a sad smile and hums. “Yeah, Gonta, you did great. Let’s go to bed, okay?” he murmurs, and Gonta nods, loosening his grip enough for Shuichi to turn the other way. Once Gonta’s breathing evens out, and Shuichi’s sure he’s asleep, the guilt settles in. “I’m sorry.”


	8. You Gotta Do The Cooking By The Book

A baking course. A  _ couple’s _ baking course, to be specific. Making bread is apparently what Kaede had decided was the best thing to put on their itinerary for the last day of the trip. Well, to be fair to her, it may have been someone else’s idea. But that’s not changing the fact that making bread on a romantic vacation getaway has  _ got _ to be the gayest concept Shuichi’s ever heard of.

Nonetheless, he’s not about to waste his classmates’ money and planning, so they head downtown to a little bakery at around two in the afternoon, just a few hours after enjoying a reservation at a local diner for breakfast. Thankfully, they’re not the only couple there—not that they’re an actual couple, but it would really suck if they’d had to be extra convincing. Shuichi leads Gonta over to one of the tables set up at the very back after giving their names to the lady running the course.

He’d really rather not draw unnecessary attention to the two of them. Not that he’s ashamed to be seen with Gonta or anything, it’s not that at all, Gonta is  _ wonderful _ and kind and—it’s just that some of the couples are... _ couple-y _ and they’re not. That is, if they can even be considered a couple. Which they’re not.

Shuichi really needs to stop thinking about this. Well, he’s going to think about it later, he’s definitely gotta do some self-reflection, because this letting his mind go wild at any inopportune time is not working. The woman at the front asks them all to wipe their hands off using the alcohol wipes provided on their table next to all the ingredients. They all do so, save for one couple towards the front that’s probably trying to be cutesy by being idiots and wiping each other’s hands down in the most counterproductive manner Shuichi has ever seen.

Regardless, the session is starting, so everyone quiets down and listens up. The woman instructs them to take two teaspoons of yeast and mix it into the warm water in front of them. The two of them reach for it at the same time, and Gonta lets out a nervous laugh and backs off, letting Shuichi do it instead. Their movements are kind of clashing as the woman instructs them to take five and a half cups of flour and add it to the other, larger bowl.

He lets Gonta take charge for that one, but when he spots Gonta take a heaping cup to the bowl rather than levelling it first, Shuichi grabs his wrist to stop him. “Ah, hang on, hold it over the bag of flour for a sec?” he asks, and Gonta does, so Shuichi takes the back of a butterknife and levels it. “There, that should be about right.”

“R-Right! Sorry, Gonta not really bake that much,” he says quietly as the instructor tells them to add two teaspoons of salt to the flour. Shuichi does it—he’s assuming they’ve decided to take the instructions in turns now—and Gonta watches as he scrapes the measuring spoon against the side of the container to make sure it’s even. “Wow...Shuichi really good at this!”

“I-I’m not, really, it’s just...practice, that’s all,” he mumbles, cheeks a bit pink. He’s still not used to the constant compliments, but honestly, it’s really nice. Gonta’s just a sweet guy in general, so really, the compliments shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. The instructor tells them to add in just a teaspoon of cane sugar, and Gonta tries his best to mimic what Shuichi had done, and for the most part, it’s pretty okay. “Sometimes I just get all this anxious energy in, like, the middle of the night, so I bake when I get nervous, it’s only little stuff like cookies or—ah! Sorry, I’ll...stop.”

Shuichi hates it when he rambles, he knows it’s annoying, but Gonta doesn’t seem the least bit irritated. “Um...Shuichi wanna mix ingredients together?” he asks, offering the bowl and the whisk, and just as Shuichi’s about to take it, the instructor gives her next order, and they are starkly reminded of the fact that this is a couple’s course.

“Alright, now take your partner’s hands and as a team, mix together your dry ingredients! Just like a relationship, the ingredients have to mesh together well before you can add anything else to the mix,” she says, and there are a few polite laughs scattered across the room as the couples move to follow her instructions.

Looking around, it seems that most couples are doing it so that one pair of hands is on the whisk, and the other is on top. But when Shuichi goes to take the whisk, because his hands are much smaller than Gonta’s so it would make sense, Gonta moves behind him. Shuichi can feel his face go hot with embarrassment as Gonta puts his hands on top of Shuichi’s on the whisk; he hadn’t been expecting  _ that. _

Shuichi’s shoulders hunch up, and he stirs the contents of the bowl. “This okay? Gonta figure it the most convenient way to do it,” he mumbles, and his voice has no right making Shuichi as flustered as it does. It’s the proximity that’s doing it; Shuichi’s not a very touchy person in the first place, despite him being touch-starved, so he’s not really used to this sort of affection. He nods, keeping his eyes on the bowl.

When the instructor tells them to add their yeast and water to the dry ingredients, Shuichi steps back to let Gonta take over. He’s never been good at mixing dough together. Even for cookies, he always uses an electric mixer. But Gonta seems to have no trouble rolling his sleeves up and getting to work on the dough, even just with the whisk. It’s a little mesmerizing to watch, in all honesty.

Then, they’re sprinkling flour over their little countertop and gently placing the dough down on top of it. “Alright, now you should work together to knead your dough until all the lumps are completely gone,” the instructor tells them, and Shuichi and Gonta exchange a hesitant look. It’s not as though they’re completely against it, but does the couple’s breadmaking course have to be  _ this _ couple-y?

Shuichi sprinkles flour on his hands and rubs them together. Gonta tilts his head in confusion, and Shuichi offers the bag to him. “So that the dough doesn’t stick to your hands as easily,” he explains as Gonta stretches his palms out. Just a little should do; more than Shuichi had needed, but not an entire pile. Gonta rubs his hands together just like Shuichi had, doing his best to be careful and avoid spilling any flour. “There, that’s perfect! You got it, no worries.”

Beaming, Gonta nods and starts kneading the dough. His movements honestly kind of remind Shuichi of the way a cat might press down on a blanket, and he stifles a chuckle as he starts on his end of the dough. It’s honestly really nice, working together with Gonta in a content sort of quiet; even though everyone else is making conversation, some people ignoring their dough altogether, the two of them are working diligently.

Breadmaking is pretty therapeutic. Shuichi can silently put all the tension in his body into making sure the dough is smooth, and it has virtually no consequences other than some flour on his clothes. It’s really nice to fold the dough over, watch it merge back together, and separate it again, just to rid it of its flaws.

Evidently, Gonta’s hands are starting to stick to the dough, because he reaches into the flour bag for some more of it. As he does so, though, the flour on the edge of the bag kicks up, and Shuichi sputters as it hits him directly in the face. “Oh, Gonta so sorry, Shuichi! Ah, hang on, let Gonta clean it for you,” he worries, quickly grabbing the cloth on the end of their countertop. “Sorry, Gonta so stupid, h-he not mean to get Shuichi’s hair all messy—”

A hand-shaped imprint of flour on his shirt stops him right in his tracks, and he looks down and back up again. “There. Now we’re even, unless you’re down for a flour fight,” Shuichi says, shaking some of the powder from his bangs before going back to kneading the dough. But Gonta doesn’t move, instead looking bewilderedly from the flour on his shirt back to Shuichi’s flour-smeared face. “It’s really no big deal, I promise.”

The instructor has apparently been walking down the aisle of countertops to make sure that everyone’s been doing what they’re supposed to, because a few of the more talkative couples are now doing so with the difference of kneaded dough on their counter rather than their untouched lumps of the stuff. She’s coming towards them next, and Shuichi feels his face heat up, so he stares at the dough and nothing else as she gets closer.

“Well, looks like things are getting pretty messy at your station, you two,” she says, but it’s much more lighthearted than Shuichi had been expecting. He gives her a nervous smile and goes back to his work on the bread, praying he won’t actually have to hold a conversation. “Oh my! You’re doing great with your dough! Keep it up!”

Thankfully, that’s all she has to say, because she moves right on to the next couple. Gonta gets back into kneading it, but not even a minute later, they’re told to stop and put their dough into the nonstick bowls provided. Everyone is given free reign of the coffee machine and complimentary pastries for the next half hour, so Shuichi excuses himself to get in line for some coffee. He really needs it.

There are quite a few people ahead of him, so he pulls out his phone to check his notifications. It isn’t as though he’s expecting any, but there’s always that stupid compulsory need to know if anyone has communicated with him since the last time he’d put his phone away. Surprisingly enough, there’s a text from Kaede asking how the session is going. He snaps a quick photo of his hair, flour and all, and sends it to her with a snarky  _ how do you think it’s going? _ before putting his phone back in his pocket.

She only texts him one of those emojis with the tongue sticking out—Shuichi prefers emoticons, personally—and nothing else. At least he’s next in line for some coffee. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots the instructor preheating a few of the ovens lining the wall. The yeast must be some of that weird, fast-acting stuff they use for demonstrations on television sometimes since they won’t have to wait long for it to rise. There’s hardly the need for it on the internet now that people can do time lapses and stuff, but sometimes Shuichi just wants to watch some dumb spokespeople on a daytime talk show do a shitty job of making food.

The coffee machine is an older one that takes ground-up coffee beans; Shuichi hasn’t made anything other than instant coffee in his entire college career before this trip, but he remembers how to work one. His parents used to have one just like this before his oldest sister bought them one that takes those little coffee pods.

Soon enough, he’s back over with Gonta at their counter, sipping on some fresh, hot coffee. It’s almost ridiculously good. “So...we go back to campus today,” Shuichi says, if not just to break the silence. He takes a sip from bne of the pristine white mugs they’d all been provided with. “I honestly can’t wait to get back to the dorms. As much as I love the idea of a bath like that, I kinda miss my whole shower setup.”

Gonta hums. “Gonta, um...kinda excited to sleep in his own bed again,” he admits after a moment, and Shuichi almost chokes on his next sip of coffee. “N-Not that sleeping with Shuichi not comfy! That not what Gonta meant at all! Gonta just...it kinda nice to not worry about not enough room...that all.”

“Y-Yeah, no, I totally get that,” Shuichi says, cheeks a little red. Now that he thinks about it, it’ll be really nice to have that privacy back. “I don’t blame you one bit, man. This weekend has been something else, alright. I  _ am _ having a great time though! You were really sweet yesterday, but I still feel bad about the whole...spending money on me thing.” Gonta laughs sheepishly, and Shuichi frowns into his mug, swirling the coffee around. “Hey...could we maybe talk? Like, properly, I mean. About this whole, um, thing.”

Before Gonta can answer, the instructor is calling all of them to shape their loaves and stick them in the oven. As they’re waiting—just another twenty minutes, nothing too terrible—Gonta tells him he’s fine with talking. Which is good. Totally good. Shuichi’s not dreading their upcoming conversation about what’s been going on at all. There’s definitely not a trace of anxiety in Shuichi’s body at the thought of having to apologize for what he’s stuck the two of them into, not one bit. It totally doesn’t distract him from paying attention as they take out and taste test their loaf, and it absolutely doesn’t make him silent as they head back to the hotel.

Their hotel room is a little messy, but there’s honestly not much to pack, other than a few stray clothes and toiletries. Shuichi settles on the edge of the bed, pretending to fiddle with his phone charger as Gonta moves over to the armchair by the desk to fold up his suit from last night. The silence is a little deafening, but he really does need to think about what he’s going to say to Gonta. Well, more like how he’s going to apologize.

He hadn’t meant for this to go as far as it has, but he supposes that doesn’t really matter right now. Shuichi took advantage of Gonta’s kindness; not only yesterday, when he really hadn’t meant to, but through this stupid thing as a whole. Shuichi is well aware that most of his classmates would have only agreed if he’d offered something, or if they could hold it over his head. The only exceptions would be Kaito and maybe Kaede, but this whole thing started as a way to save face on Kaito’s behalf, and it never would have spiraled like this because Kaede is already in a relationship.

Not to mention the fact Shuichi had partially let this continue because of his own stupid curiosity. It’s ridiculously selfish of him to keep this up. Not to mention, Gonta probably wouldn’t have even said no to the plan, even if he  _ had _ been uncomfortable with the idea. God, Shuichi feels awful. Is Gonta at all okay with Shuichi’s stupid plan? Has he just been going along with it because he doesn’t want to come across as ungentlemanly or something?

“Um...Shuichi feel okay?” Gonta asks, interrupting Shuichi’s momentary spiralling. Shuichi clears his throat and smiles. He hopes that’s somewhat reassuring. “Okay! Gonta just checking in case Shuichi  _ not _ feel okay, so...oh! Shuichi need help with packing?”

“Ah, n-no, that’s okay. It shouldn’t be too hard,” Shuichi says, nervously scratching the back of his neck. He’s not entirely sure how to broach the subject, but Gonta did say he’d be okay with talking about things. Gonta moves to go back to his suitcase, but Shuichi takes a gentle hold of his arm before he can. “Hey, Gonta? Can I ask you a question?” Gonta blinks in surprise, but he nods. “Why did you agree to this whole thing in the first place? Not that I’m—I just figured, since I never asked, I should...ask now.”

Gonta hums and sits down next to Shuichi. “Well, Gonta...kinda not wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings either,” he says, a little sheepishly, and Shuichi tilts his head in confusion. “’Cuz of what Shuichi said about Kaito a-and everyone else...Gonta figure it just easier to pretend for little while, even if it kind of lying. But...lies sometimes important to protect people a-and feelings, so Gonta decide that lying sometimes not ungentlemanly. And since Shuichi needed help, and um, since Gonta start lie with him, it Gonta’s responsibility too.”

Well, that’s certainly one justification for it. Shuichi nods, and he looks down at his hands. “I just figured I should apologize for...this,” he says, gesturing to the room and between the two of them. “I really didn’t mean for this to get so blown out of proportion. I...I shouldn’t just apologize for the plan. I realized—probably yesterday, but I haven’t thought about it properly—that in being afraid of taking advantage of you, I-I already have. And I’m so sorry, Gonta, really, I am, I...it was stupid and manipulative of me to rope you into this.”

Biting his lip, Gonta looks away. “Gonta...not sure it manipulative, but...Gonta appreciate Shuichi apologizing, even if he not have to,” Gonta says, and Shuichi resists the urge to sigh. He really wants Gonta to be able to recognize being mistreated. He feels bad enough that it’s him doing the mistreating, but the fact that even pointing it out is met with doubt is disappointing. It sort of makes Shuichi wonder how many people get away with it; how many people don’t get that eventual guilty conscience. Just how many people owe Gonta an apology? “Shuichi sure he not need help packing?”

“I-I’m okay, really. But...Gonta, are you sure you’re alright? I mean...I only knew you’d agree because of how kind you are. It really  _ was _ manipulative on my part,” Shuichi tries, and Gonta shrugs, as if he doesn’t mind at all. The easy forgiveness is rather concerning, but there’s probably no arguing with him on this. Gonta most likely wouldn’t even see it as arguing in the first place. “Um...so, if you want, we can end it as soon as we get back to campus. Using all the couple-y stuff as an excuse to why we ‘didn’t work out’ would probably be easy. We could just say we realized we’re not...romantically compatible o-or whatever. I just...don’t want you to have to deal with this anymore.”

“That sound fine,” Gonta agrees, bringing his hand up to give Shuichi’s shoulder a light squeeze of reassurance. “Shuichi know Gonta not upset with him, right? Shuichi just ask for help, and Gonta more than happy to help him! It not a problem, so Shuichi not have to be sad about it anymore, okay?”

A little startled, Shuichi feels his cheeks go pink. “Ah, I’m not sad, I—! I’m just...worried I hurt you,” he explains, and he’s sure on some level that he has. Even if Gonta doesn’t mind, Shuichi still knows he was wrong. If they dumb it down to nothing more than a favor, it’s still an enormous favor to have asked, and Gonta has every right to be upset that it’s gone on for so long. Gonta’s hand is still on his shoulder. “So, uh, I’ll...start packing, I guess. D-Did  _ you _ need any help with it?”

Gonta shakes his head, and, seemingly satisfied with ending the conversation there, he goes back to his suitcase and continues folding up his clothes. Shuichi, on the other hand, still feels immensely guilty. Not that he shouldn’t, but it feels wrong to let their talk end right then and there. But Shuichi shoves that feeling down to keep the relatively peaceful atmosphere that’s settled over their hotel room.

It’s going to be a long train ride home.

*****

As soon as the two of them get to the dorms, they’re met by Maki and Kirumi. It makes sense, given they’re the RA’s of the dorms, but it’s after dinner. At this time of night, the two of them are usually policing their peers breaking curfew or making sure the hallway isn’t a completely disaster. So it’s a little alarming the two of them are waiting, seemingly for them, right in front of the door to the dorms.

Maki’s leaning against the banister of the stairs, arms crossed and hair done up in its usual set of pigtails. She stands up properly once they get a little closer, and she’s just as intimidating as she always is. “We’ve been waiting for ten minutes,” she says, heading down the steps. She glances between the two of them with narrowed eyes before her gaze settles on Shuichi’s face. “Kaito wants to know if you ‘totally got laid’ this weekend. I’ll tell him to go fuck himself as an answer if you want me to.”

Shuichi feels his face go beet red and at Kirumi’s raised eyebrow, he shakes his head. He’s about to give their bullshit story about things not working out, but Maki takes his suitcase before he can say anything, and  _ that’s _ just confusing. “Campus rules wouldn’t allow the two of you to sneak off to only one room,” Kirumi explains gently, taking hold of Gonta’s suitcase despite his protests. “It makes the most sense to escort you individually back to your rooms, if only to be in compliance with the guidelines.”

“Hurry up and get inside, I don’t have all night,” Maki huffs, turning her back to the three of them and yanking the door open. She’s holding it, something she doesn’t do often, and they scurry after her, Gonta and Kirumi still squabbling over his suitcase. “Alright, so prepare to be bombarded with questions about this weekend by tomorrow morning. Those idiots wouldn’t stop talking about it.”

“They’re simply curious, no need to be negative,” Kirumi chuckles, and Maki grumbles a low, empty threat under her breath. “I think it’s perfectly natural for us all to be inquisitive about these things. I don’t mean to offend, and please inform me if I do, but the two of you as a couple are rather intriguing. You make for a rather...uncommon combination. Though, if anyone does overstep in their curiosity, feel free to let either of us know.”

Shuichi tries again to say something, but Maki starts up again before he can. “I don’t get the dramatics about it. It’s not even that interesting. You have two over-emotional pushovers, what antics could they possibly get into?” she deadpans, and Shuichi and Gonta exchange a look. “The only reason people are interested is because you guys are new. Nothing exciting has happened since Miu almost blew up a chem lab last semester. I’m sure they’ll lose interest soon.”

It’s probably meant to be reassuring, but Maki’s phrasing always makes things sound a little rude. “In any case,” Kirumi presses, giving Maki a startlingly ‘disappointed mom’ glare, “we’re very glad to have the two of you back. I sincerely hoped you enjoyed your vacation. We all took great care in planning it.”

Thank goodness, they’re giving the two of them a moment to speak. “Yeah, the trip was really nice,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods. He tries his hardest to think of the gentlest way to put this, both out of concern for his safety and respect for Gonta. “It was so nice of everybody to organize something like that just for us—just for my birthday. But, ah, it—”

“There you two are~!” Tsumugi chirps, bounding into sight from her doorway. Shuichi mourns the slow loss of his sanity. “I was wondering when you’d get back! I’m glad I caught you before you went to bed. Listen, so since October is  _ quickly _ approaching, so are the campus parties for Halloween, and I have just the  _ perfect _ couple’s costume idea for you two! It’ll take a good chunk of time, and between classes and midterms, I’m going to need as much time as I can get! What do you say? Will you  _ please _ let me make you guys some cosp—costumes for Halloween?”

What else is there to do but smile and awkwardly nod?


	9. Double Date—Start!

Shuichi is going to scream.

Not only are they stuck fake dating at  _ least _ until Halloween, but they’re only stuck like this because of Tsumugi’s weird cosplay fantasy for the two of them. He still doesn’t know what she’s planning, and honestly, he kind of doesn’t want to, but he’ll probably have to find out what it is at some point in time. Shuichi only hopes the costumes aren’t from something...distasteful, to say the very least. God forbid it’s—

Ah, right. He’s supposed to be taking notes right now. This  _ is _ a forensic science lecture, after all, one of his more important classes this semester. Shuichi needs to focus; his grade is definitely not worth worrying over his stupid fake dating scheme right now. As much as Shuichi doesn’t like talking about the different ways a body can be lacerated, his professor had already told them all that she’d be putting this on their midterm.

Thankfully, this is his last class of the day, even if tomorrow is one of his busier weekdays. So as the lecture wraps up and the professor dismisses all of them, Shuichi lets his brain rest a bit as he empties his head of any and all thoughts. Nobody said it was a healthy coping mechanism, but sometimes, completely disregarding his physical self is the best medicine. He heads towards the dorms and absolutely zones out.

Unfortunately, the universe has decided that today is not a day for him to rest, because he’s abruptly yanked out of his path by Kaito, who has also just gotten out of class. “Oh, uh, hey dude,” Shuichi says, blinking himself back into semi-consciousness. “Don’t you have another space physics class or something right now?”

“Yeah, but listen! Me n’ Maki Roll were thinking of going out somewhere tonight,” he says, and he’s talking almost too fast for Shuichi to keep up with. Then again, that’s pretty much any conversation with Kaito. One would think he’d be used to it by now. “So...would you and the big guy wanna come along? We could do one of those super dope double dates! Me, you, Maki Roll, and Gonta! Whaddaya say? Great! Okay, gotta go, bye!”

Well, he supposes he doesn’t really have a choice now. Not that he minds all that much; it’ll be a bit awkward, sure, but Maki’s not the most affectionate person, so he and Gonta can probably get away with not being touchy. The thing he’s most dreading is whatever activity Kaito has in mind. It’s not as though he’s  _ against _ a double ‘date,’ even if he’s not really dating Gonta, it’s just that Kaito can be a bit...much. On occasion.

Nevertheless, he should probably warn Gonta. He’s had even less of a say than Shuichi, unless Maki’s gotten to him first. Shuichi doesn’t really know her schedule, and he’s a little sheepish to admit he knows almost nothing about Gonta’s classes. Hopefully Gonta will get to the dorms before Kaito’s classes end for the day.

Surprisingly enough, Gonta’s sitting in the dining hall with Maki and Kirumi, sipping tea from an almost comically small teacup. He’s handling the cup as carefully as possible, too, and for some reason, Shuichi’s expecting his hands to be shaky—maybe that’s because he’s so used to his own natural tremor—but Gonta’s got a steady hand as he lifts the cup up and takes a sip of whatever exquisite blend of tea Kirumi prepared for the three of them.

“Uh, hey,” Shuichi says, rather awkwardly, and Gonta gives him a little wave, going back to his tea. Kirumi nods in greeting, and Maki grunts noncommittally. “So...you probably already know about that double date thing, right? I-I’ll just grab a snack then, and text me whenever Kaito gets here, I guess.”

“What double date thing?” Maki asks, raising an eyebrow at him. Great, so Kaito hadn’t told her about it, either. Before he can explain on Kaito’s behalf, though, she sighs and rubs her temple with her free hand. “Jesus, is he doing that stupid thing again? You tell him to get his ass over here on his next break so I can knock some sense into his head. It’s like he thinks I never check my phone…”

Kirumi hides her giggle behind her hand. “Well, you almost never do,” she mumbles, taking a sip of her tea as Maki shoots a glare her way. “I imagine the case is different for your boyfriend, but some of our dorm residents are rather...displeased...with how hard it is to get a hold of you on occasion, Maki.”

Setting her teacup down to cross her arms and lean back in her chair, Maki huffs. “I wouldn’t ignore them if they weren’t so damn annoying all the time,” she grumbles. “I swear to God, this is why Kaito’s plans never work out. Then he whines about how no one shows up to parties he  _ didn’t advertise, _ and then it’s up to me to give him—ugh—attention.”

“It’s either you or me, and he doesn’t like horror movies,” Shuichi says, voice lofty as he heads over to the pantry. Gonta still looks confused, so he figures he should probably clarify, if only because Gonta’s not really used to Kaito’s antics. “Apparently, Kaito wants the four of us to go and do something that he decided not to specify. He’s calling it a double date, but I’m pretty sure it’s just an excuse to get me and Maki out of our rooms for one night.”

Gonta nods, brow furrowed as he looks into his cup. “Oh. Um, okay! Gonta fine with that,” he says, smiling a bit nervously up at Shuichi, who pauses in his efforts to reach the pocky that rests on the top shelf. As if on instinct, Gonta stands and heads over to help him. “Can...um, can Gonta and Shuichi talk? N-Nothing bad, Gonta promise!”

“Yeah, sure, I was gonna head up to my room to decompress for a bit, so would you wanna talk there?” Shuichi suggests, and Gonta nods, bidding a quick goodbye to Maki and Kirumi before following Shuichi down the hall to his room. “So...you okay? Anything bothering you? I-Is this, like—did you wanna back out of the whole Halloween thing? ’Cuz I totally get that, and I am  _ completely _ fine with cancelling, I feel bad for Tsumugi going through the trouble of making us costumes anyway, especially since we’re not  _ really _ a couple, and—ah! Sorry, I’m rambling again, that’s my bad!”

Thankfully, the door’s already closed behind the two of them, so no one had heard Shuichi discussing their stupid secret like it’s the weather. “N-No, nothing like that, Gonta still okay with everything,” Gonta assures him, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Um...just...can Shuichi ask next time? J-Just about going out! Gonta not really have any plans, but—! It be good to know, um...in advance.”

Shuichi feels his face go bright red. “Yeah! I’m so sorry, that’s...I  _ should _ ask, Gonta, I’m sorry,” he says, silently chastising himself. Even if  _ he’s _ used to Kaito’s gung-ho planning attitude, that doesn’t mean Gonta has to be. “That wasn’t...I should’ve given him an actual ‘maybe’ before he left, I’m sorry.”

“Wait, Shuichi...not answer Kaito before he left?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi gives him his best it’s-not-a-big-deal shrug. But Gonta just looks even more unsure than he’d been before, biting his lip and scanning Shuichi’s face, presumably for any signs of discomfort. “Does Shuichi even wanna go out? ’Cuz if Shuichi wanna stay in, that okay! Gonta can pretend to be sick so Shuichi have excuse to stay in!”

“N-No, no, I wouldn’t ask that of you,” Shuichi says, eyes wide. “I’m totally okay with it! I mean, sometimes, it’s a little annoying, but I’m—it’s fine. Absolutely fine. U-Unless  _ you _ don’t wanna go! Then I could tell Kaito we’re not going, it’s not a problem, really!”

He’s been trying to be careful about making sure Gonta is absolutely, one hundred percent okay with anything they do from here on out—that he has Gonta’s express permission to do something before he does it. It’s most likely from the remaining guilt about starting this whole thing in the first place. Not to mention the fact Shuichi is pretty much terrified he’ll start being unintentionally manipulative again.

But at least Gonta looks less unsure of himself now. “No, Gonta wanna go. It sound like fun! We get to spend time with friends,” he says, and he kind of sounds like he’s trying to convince not just Shuichi, but himself. Shuichi wonders if he’d be out of bounds if he put a comforting hand on Gonta’s arm or something like that. It’s probably beyond the realm of what’s okay, so his hand just hovers awkwardly in the air for a solid five seconds before it falls back to his side. “It okay, really. Gonta not mind going out, it just...little bit surprising.”

That’s one way to put it. Shuichi realizes they’ve probably got at least an hour to kill before Kaito’s class is over, and he’s already finished his assignments for tomorrow’s classes, given that most of them are just busywork. “Uh...do you wanna watch something? W-We could share some pocky. I owe you anyway, since you got it down,” Shuichi says, giving Gonta as much of a reassuring smile as he can.

“Gonta not wanna take Shuichi’s snacks,” Gonta says with a slightly dismissive wave. Shuichi hums and nods, settling down on the bed and grabbing the remote. Tentatively, Gonta sits on the very edge of the bed, a good foot away from Shuichi. It’s a little sweet that he wants to make sure Shuichi’s comfortable—either that or he’s afraid he’s breaking an unsaid boundary about Shuichi’s room. “So, um, what Shuichi gonna watch?”

“I dunno, is there anything you felt like watching? I didn’t have anything particular in mind, so if you have any suggestions…” he trails off, gesturing vaguely to the television. Gonta scoots just a little bit closer, if only to see the selection. “You said you liked documentaries, right? Well, it was probably bug documentaries, but I don’t think they have any of those on...but they do have some stuff on the nature channel if you want.”

Gonta absolutely lights up at that, but he doesn’t seem to want to accept the offer; Shuichi figures it’s because he doesn’t want to put his own opinion over Shuichi’s. It’s nice, really, but Shuichi would rather Gonta speak his mind about what he wants. He deserves to make whatever choices he wants, especially the little ones. Shuichi puts on the nature documentary anyway, and he leans back.

It’s not particularly compelling, at least, not to Shuichi, but the narrator’s voice is soothing enough background noise to eat pocky to. Gonta, on the other hand, is absolutely enraptured with it, eyes sparkling with an almost adorable innocence as he watches whatever the lions currently on the screen are doing. Shuichi glances up at the TV—okay, that’s pretty cute. The little lion cubs are play-fighting.

Just as the screen switches to a shot of a gazelle, and a lion hiding in the bushes, there’s a knock at the door, and Shuichi’s kind of relieved that that’s the frame they’d had to turn it off on. When he opens up, there’s Kaito, trailed by a very disgruntled-looking Maki. Kaito peers over his shoulder, and when Gonta waves at all three of them, he punches Shuichi’s shoulder playfully and steps in.

“What would you two say if I said I found the  _ coolest _ mini-golf course ever? Well, only on this side of town, actually,” he says, sheepishly scratching at the back of his head. Maki rolls her eyes and nudges Kaito’s ribcage rather harshly. “Ah! Right, right, my bad. I almost forgot! I wanted to say sorry for the whole, uh, pressuring you guys into coming thing. I just got so hyped up about finally getting to hang out with my sidekick  _ and _ my damsel in not-distress as, like, a couple thing! It always looks like hella fun in the movies.”

He’s fist pumping, and Shuichi sighs fondly, gathering up his jacket. It’s still the middle of September, after all, and he’d rather not force Gonta to give his coat up again, especially since mini-golfing is pretty much an all-outdoor activity. Maki puts an end to Kaito’s whooping by grabbing his ear and nearly dragging him out of the room.

Shuichi and Gonta follow them out of the dorms, and when Maki lets go of Kaito’s ear, their fingers interlock, and suddenly, Shuichi feels like the two of them should do the same. Gonta is apparently thinking on a similar wavelength, if his glance down between the two of them and red face are anything to go by. Shuichi just has to remember what they’d practiced. Holding hands should be easy by now, it’s nothing too extreme.

He switches over to Gonta’s other side and slides their hands together, the back of his own hand facing outward with Gonta’s right arm behind his left. Just like they’d practiced. Easy. Just a simple little display of affection, they can do that. Kaito makes sure Maki slows enough so that they’re walking in tandem now, and they’re getting closer and closer to the station. Shuichi and Kaito make easy conversation, and Shuichi’s glad to have something relieving the tension that’s weirdly settled between the four of them.

“..And so I told her to take her dog and—oh! Damn, didn’t realize we were so close,” Kaito pouts, leaving his story about a prissy little lady at his part-time gig at their local café unfinished. Maki makes to pull out her card for the metro, but Kaito stops her, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead as he swipes his own and gestures for her to go ahead. She mumbles something about his being an idiot under her breath, but she goes anyway. “Yeah, yeah, you love me. Alright, hurry up, guys, we don’t wanna miss our train!”

With another swipe of his own metro card, Kaito disappears behind the gates, and Shuichi pulls out his wallet. They follow the couple onto the platform, and Kaito nudges his knuckles atop Shuichi’s head. “You’re annoying,” Shuichi says, shoving his side. It’s a familiar kind of banter, like the sort he’d have with his brothers back home. “Also, Mr. We Can’t Miss Our Train, I’m pretty sure this is our train.”

Shuichi’s pretty familiar with the city. He knows where most of the tourist-y stuff like tacky mini-golf is, and it’s in the district the next train is headed for. Kaito chuckles sheepishly as they shuffle onto the train. It’s not that busy, which is a bit surprising. It’s almost always busy, but then again, this  _ is _ a Tuesday night, and the after-work rush is over.

There’s a four-seater open, and they head straight for it. Kaito wraps an arm around Maki’s waist, and—though she looks a little annoyed—she leans her head delicately on his shoulder, rolling her eyes. Shuichi glances up at Gonta, who gives him a nervous smile in return. Should the two of them be doing something like that? Is that normal, or is that just Kaito’s sappy nature? Then again, if  _ Maki _ is participating, it’s probably not even past mild.

So Shuichi awkwardly rests his head on the side of Gonta’s arm. His shoulder isn’t exactly comfortable. There’s too much tensed-up muscle for it to be soft, just like when they’d tried it out for a practice run. Gonta must have forgotten what they’d figured out, because instead of wrapping his arm around Shuichi and letting him rest on his chest, he leans his own head so it’s resting on top of Shuichi’s.

Christ. They must look astronomically stupid.

Speaking of astronomically stupid, the mini-golf course Kaito had picked out is, of course, space themed. It’s tacky, but in that oddly charming sort of way; kind of like the way cheesy attractions at a festival makes a person feel compelled to spend all their money on takoyaki and candied apples. Once they get their clubs and their weird, too small golf clubs, they’re off to the first hole, Kaito taking the lead by setting down his atrocious fuschia ball on the green.

“Watch and learn, sidekick,” he says, one eye squinted close as he swings his club behind the golf ball, presumably to get his bearings. With a loud  _ thwack, _ his ball sails forward and bounces off of the back of the little brick tiling around the green. It’s oh-so-close to the hole, but it just hadn’t gone close enough. “Ah, damn! Well, that’s a two for me, I guess.”

At Gonta’s quizzical expression, Shuichi realizes he’s probably confused, and he takes it upon himself to help out. “Right, so, the amount of times you hit the ball before it goes in the hole is your score. You want it to be low, because the fewer hits you take, the better you are at it,” he attempts to explain, and Gonta nods slowly, pursing his lips in thought as Kaito bounds over to give Maki a big, sweeping hug once he’s sunk the ball in. “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but have you...never played golf?”

Gonta shakes his head as Maki steps up to play. As usual, her accuracy is immaculate, and she sinks the ball in one shot. Kaito lets out another trademark whoop, almost like it’s his own victory rather than Maki’s, and he picks her up, twirling her around and pressing an exaggerated kiss to her cheek. She smacks his shoulders until he puts her down, and with red cheeks, she picks up her equally red golf ball and gestures for Shuichi to go ahead.

“If you’re going to do that  _ every _ time I get a hole-in-one, I’m actually going to kill you,” she says, though there’s a bit of a smile playing at her lips. Shuichi sets up his ball on the green and does his best to aim for the hole. But he’s never been great at mini-golf, not that he wants to be. “Hah, what a whiff. You can do better than that.”

Well, he kind of can’t, but that’s just Maki’s brand of encouragement. After his turn, it’s Gonta’s, and he does surprisingly well for his first time playing. Kaito starts to tease Shuichi about being worse than his boyfriend, and Shuichi feels his face go hot. “I-It’s beginner’s luck,” he huffs out, cringing at the way his voice cracks. Gonta stifles a giggle behind his hand. “You  _ did _ do great though, Gonta! D-Don’t get me wrong!”

They have to catch up to Kaito and Maki, who have evidently instated a “Whoever does best, goes first” rule, which ends in another hole-in-one for Maki, and another ridiculously enthusiastic kiss for her from Kaito. Same routine—she smacks his shoulders, he laughs, congratulates her again, and sets her down. But he still keeps a hand on the small of her back as she walks him back over to the start of the hole.

“Don’t fuck up this time and I  _ might _ kiss you,” she tells him sternly, and Shuichi can practically see the cartoon hearts appearing in Kaito’s eyes. And, funnily enough, Kaito gets it in one shot, just like Maki had. He presents his face to her in a very flamboyant, Kaito-ish way, and she rolls her eyes as she presses her lips to his. “You got lucky, Momota. Next round, I will crush you like the pebble you are.”

Kaito just laughs with that, and honestly, it seems like they’re in their own little world. Sure, the two of them occasionally give Shuichi or Gonta words of encouragement or rope them into conversation, but it’s almost like they’re in a bubble, untouchable by Shuichi and Gonta’s fabricated relationship. Not only that, but there are so many little gestures the two of them have that just make them seem so...intimate.

It’s not just the goofy, over-the-top congratulatory kiss after almost every hole. It’s the way that Kaito brushes the hair away from Maki’s face as she stands from putting her ball down, it’s the way Maki looks at Kaito as she corrects the way he’s holding the club, it’s the way Kaito keeps purposefully holding it wrong to get her to roll her eyes and fix it. Shuichi had accounted for the basic stuff when they’d made this plan, but he hadn’t thought about all the little things that would make the two of them look as though they’re actually together.

And there’s this weird ache in his chest now, like he’s not doing a good enough job of keeping up this stupid charade that Gonta had given so much for. The truth is, he’s probably not. Shuichi isn’t used to that sort of affection, that sort of familiarity that’s there when Kaito and Maki interact with one another. But if he’s going to make this convincing enough to save Kaito from feeling guilty about the girl at the bar, if he’s going to give Tsumugi’s costuming effort a fair chance to shine, and if he’s going to save his own hide from the collective wrath of Maki, Kirumi, and Tenko, he should do better. No, Shuichi  _ has _ to do better.

The game is pretty predictable. Maki’s score is nearly perfect; the only times she’s not getting it in one shot is when Kaito’s actively working to distract her. Shuichi’s doing a perfectly average job, and Gonta is surprisingly good. Shuichi still chalks that one up to beginner’s luck, but by the time they’re on one of the last holes in the game, he’s right behind Maki, whereas Shuichi and Kaito are tied for last.

The only way Shuichi can pull ahead at this point is sinking it in with less than three hits on each of the last holes. Not that winning a stupid game of mini-golf is remotely important, but Shuichi would rather have  _ some _ semblance of pride leaving the course tonight. He lines up his shot, brow furrowed. Is this the right angle? How hard should he hit it? He has to hit it eventually, so he might as well hit it now.

And it sails...right into the hole. Shuichi drops his club. It had sailed completely over the stupid windmill in the way, and it had  _ thunked _ into the hole loud enough for it to be heard from the green. Shuichi dashes over to the end of the course, and sure enough, it’s a hole-in-one. “Oh my God, I did it,” he says, and it appears that everyone else is just as dumbfounded as he is. “Hah! I did it! Suck it, Kaito!”

It’s a little asshole-ish, but it’s kind of deserved after the relentless teasing. Kaito narrows his eyes and sticks his tongue out playfully, and Maki looks strangely proud. When Shuichi looks over at Gonta, he looks conflicted. For what reason is anyone’s guess, but he’s quickly making strides in Shuichi’s direction, which is equally confusing.

Gonta’s actions become much less confusing, though, when his hands find a terrifyingly familiar place on his waist and cheek. Before Shuichi can react, Gonta’s pressing their lips together, just slightly tugging Shuichi forward enough so that their bodies touch. It takes a solid moment for what’s just happened to register, and Shuichi’s sure he looks almost comically surprised for that moment. But he quickly lets his eyes flutter shut as he brings his arms up to rest around Gonta’s neck, pushing back against his lips.

There’s an annoyingly loud wolf-whistle from Kaito, and Shuichi flips him off over his shoulder as Gonta pulls him impossibly closer. They only break away when Maki smacks both of them over the head. “It’s like you’re the stars of a shitty romance movie,” she huffs, though she’s clearly biting back a smile. Gonta steps back, cheeks pink. It’s only then that Shuichi realizes Gonta had done that to mimic what Kaito had done with Maki earlier.

“Damn, big guy, you’re gonna raise the standards for all of us,” Kaito teases, tugging Maki into a back-hug and swaying her a bit. Gonta laughs, albeit a bit awkwardly, and Shuichi clears his throat, taking his golf ball from the hole. “Oh, I forgot we were playing golf! Right! To the last hole, then!”

Smiling at Kaito’s theatrics, Shuichi moves to follow, but Gonta stops him. “Was Gonta...not s’posed to do that?” he asks quietly, and Shuichi, for some reason, can’t help but laugh, cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. “S-Sorry!”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Shuichi assures him, tugging him forward by the arm, just enough to keep the two of them in pace with Kaito and Maki. He lowers his voice so that only Gonta can hear. “We can work on shows of affection later, but, uh, I guess...that works for now?”

Looks like the two of them have some catching up to do, and not just in mini-golf.


	10. Study Not-A-Date

Shuichi relaxes his shoulders, rolling As it turns out, measuring tape is not the most comfortable thing in the world, especially not when it’s wrapped like a hungry python around one’s waist. Shuichi’s already self-conscious enough, given that Tsumugi had demanded he be shirtless for this fitting. Shuichi drew the line at taking his jeans off. They’re skinny jeans—she’s less than happy to have to work around them, but Shuichi had  _ firmly _ objected to it.

Gonta, meanwhile, still has a skintight tank top on. Tsumugi had allowed it, probably because Gonta never asks for much, and since he’d been rather clear about his discomfort, she’d been a bit surprised. Shuichi feels a bit bad, given Gonta had taken his shirt off during the massage, but he  _ had _ offered an out. Not that Gonta would have taken it regardless, but...Shuichi’s at least glad he’s doing what’s best for him now.

Tsumugi toys with the measuring tape a little more before taking the pencil from between her teeth and scribbling down a number on her clipboard. “Alright,” she says, finally releasing Shuichi’s waist from the vice grip the stupid length of plastic has on him, “that settles your waist measurements, now I just need your shoulders, your wingspan, and...your biceps. And yours too, Gonta! At least for today.”

them a bit. He doesn’t like not being able to slouch, but he supposes standing up straight for a little more longer than he normally would is worth getting this done faster than it would be if Tsumugi keeps having to correct his posture every ten seconds. She taps under his arm, and he lifts them both up as she stretches the measuring tape out from the tip of his left middle finger to the right one.

He glances over at Gonta, who’s watching with both curiosity and amusement. “So...how long do you think this might take? I still have a ton to study for midterms,” Shuichi says, and Tsumugi hums, like she’s not really hearing him. She’s probably zoned out; it’s how most of their classmates get when they’re in their element, so Shuichi’s not exactly expecting an answer right away.

“Which tests does Shuichi have?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi hums, thinking about it for a moment. Tsumugi asks him to flex his bicep, and Shuichi does, though there’s not much for her to wrap the measuring tape around. “If Shuichi want, maybe Gonta can help him with studying! Gonta not very smart, but Gonta good at helping study!”

Frowning as Tsumugi scribbles down another measurement, Shuichi turns his attention fully to Gonta. “Don’t say that, you’re really smart,” Shuichi tells him, brows furrowed. Gonta shrugs, but there’s at least a small smile on his face now. “But I  _ could _ definitely use some help studying, especially for forensic criminology. If you don’t mind, maybe we could grab some lunch and work over some of the terms I’m having a little trouble with?”

“Ooh, study date,” Tsumugi teases, and both Gonta and Shuichi go a bit pink in the face. She wraps the measuring tape around Shuichi’s shoulders, scribbles something else down, and moves over to Gonta. She taps his arms too; Shuichi supposes she’s working her way from his upper torso to his lower torso, the opposite of what she’d done with him. Shoulders first—her eyes widen at the number, and Shuichi’s a bit curious—and then wingspan. Then, his bicep, which makes Tsumugi gasp. “Woah, Shuichi, you’re a lucky guy.”

He glances over, a mistake truly, at Gonta’s flexed bicep, and he feels his mouth go dry. That is...one big arm, that’s for damn sure. “Ah, um...so about the studying thing,” he says, letting out one of the most awkward laughs he’s ever let out. Gonta gives him a shy smile, something that should definitely not be possible with the sheer power of that bicep curl. “We could order in if you wanted to, uh, get...started right away, or w-we could actually...sit down and eat if—if that’s what you wanna do.”

Jeez, he should  _ not _ be tripping over his own words this much. Gonta nods as Tsumugi moves down to measure his waist. “Gonta think we should study as much as we can! So maybe order in?” he suggests, and Shuichi nods, his shoulders losing a previously unknown tension. “Oh, and what exactly Shuichi wanna study? Just terms, or he need help with more?”

“Uh, I’ve got the essay stuff pretty down, but I might have to work through the topics that could be part of the short answer portion,” Shuichi says, listing it off on his fingers. Gonta nods, pushing up his glasses a bit. Shuichi casts his gaze to the floor. “Did you want to study in my room or the library or…?”

“Gonta fine with either! But if Shuichi would be more comfy in his room, we should prolly do it there,” he says as Tsumugi jots down the last of the measurements. Shuichi nods. That’s honestly probably where he’d be most at ease; reciting terms and cursing when he gets them wrong is probably not the sort of atmosphere the university has in mind for their library. “Is Tsumugi done? Or she need more measurements?”

With a smile, Tsumugi waves dismissively. “Oh, we can do some more fittings later, but these should be good enough for me to start making patterns for the torso pieces!” she chirps, and Shuichi’s glad that he can finally put on his shirt again. “By the way, I should probably know if you’d be more comfortable in  _ real _ armor or EVA foam armor, boys.”

Both of them assure her she doesn’t need to be doing any metalwork for their Halloween costumes, and she nods firmly, ushering them out of her studio claiming she needs a solitary space in order to work. They head down the block towards the dorms, and Shuichi wonders if Gonta is purposefully walking slower than normal to let Shuichi’s shorter steps work in time with his. It’s kind of sweet.

“So...I was thinking we could have some stuff delivered? Maybe...takoyaki?” Shuichi suggests, but Gonta makes a face, though he tries to hide it. Probably because he’d be willing to endure eating something he doesn’t like if it meant not upsetting or disappointing Shuichi. “Oh, if octopus isn’t your thing, we don’t have to get any. I’m down for pretty much anything as long as it’s not too spicy. We could do katsudon bowls, maybe some onigiri on the side?”

Gonta looks much more open to that suggestion, at the very least. “Sure! Shuichi okay with...not getting takoyaki? Gonta not wanna stop you if you want it!” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. Shuichi just shrugs. He hopes Gonta takes it as indifference, because he really doesn’t mind getting pork instead. They’re almost at the dorms now, and Shuichi pulls out his phone to order their food. “Um...thank you! Gonta’s favorite is katsudon, so…”

He’s smiling, at the very least, as he trails off and holds the door open for the two of them. And honestly, Shuichi’s pretty relieved he’d guessed something Gonta actually likes. For some reason, he gets the feeling Gonta would have agreed to the second suggestion regardless of whether he’d liked it.

Shuichi settles down at his desk once the two of them have gotten to his room, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Thanks again for the offer to help me study,” he says, and Gonta just nods, standing rather awkwardly in the middle of the room. “O-Oh, right, you can sit pretty much anywhere. I really don’t mind, make yourself at home.”

Nodding, Gonta sits down very carefully on the corner of the bed, and Shuichi rolls his desk chair over, sorting through his bag. He’s got textbooks and his notes, and some index cards he’d made at four in the morning in an attempt to be productive. “So, these the terms Shuichi was talking about?” Gonta asks as Shuichi sorts through them. Some of them, he doesn’t really need; he’s got a few memorized already. He nods and hands Gonta the stack.

“I-I hope you don’t mind, all you have to do is tell me whether the definition I give you is the right one,” Shuichi explains, and Gonta grins at him. “R-Right! Um, I guess we should get started then. Uh, you can go ahead and give me the first word.”

“Okay! Status...offenses?” Gonta says, though it sounds more like a question as he holds up the card. The way he tilts his head in curiosity as he reads the back of the index card is kind of endearing. Right, Shuichi’s supposed to be listing off a definition. Shit. Status offenses. He knows this.

His leg bounces, more to get nervous energy out than anything. “Ah...isn’t it something about minors breaking the law…? Th-They might be written as juveniles, though, I think that’s like, the proper term or whatever,” he says, though it kind of comes out like a jumble of words rather than a confident definition like he’d been hoping for.

“Yeah, a-almost!” Gonta says, and he’s definitely doing his best to remain encouraging. “Maybe, um...there some examples here…? Shuichi can think of those, too, if he want! Gonta sure you can do it!”

That’s honestly kind of confidence-boosting. “Got it! S-So for a kid, it would be...damn. Breaking curfew? O-Or running away!” he says, snapping his fingers once he’s really got a grasp on the definition. “It’s behavior that’s not strictly against criminal code, but it’s forbidden for juveniles! That’s it, right?”

Gonta claps and grins. “Perfect! Shuichi so smart!” he cheers, and Shuichi’s face goes a little red at the praise. He doesn’t know about  _ that, _ but it’s still really sweet. “So...should Gonta do the next one? Or does Shuichi want a break? It fine either way, no worries! Gonta fine with either way, up to you!”

“Ah, you can go ahead and give me the next one,” Shuichi chuckles. Gonta’s eagerness to help is absolutely adorable, and Shuichi is pretty happy he’d picked him as a study partner. Gonta holds up the next one. Sociological criminology. “Alright, I know this one, I do...damn. Uh, was it…? I think it’s the one to do with demographics, isn’t it? A-And group...group  _ something, _ ri—oh! Group variables! The branch of criminology examining demographics and group variables of crime! That’s the one!”

Gonta’s just as enthusiastic as he’d been with the last one, showering Shuichi in praise and confirming that’s exactly it. It’s a nicer way of studying than Maki’s blunt, impatient ‘teaching,’ and it’s not nearly as awkward as Kaede’s forced optimism at the fourth wrong answer. Not to mention Kaito’s aggressive brand of correcting him before he can finish.

The unending optimism and unwavering support, no matter how slow Shuichi is to answer or how apprehensive his answers are, is encouraging as hell, and Shuichi doesn’t want to say he’s having fun studying but...he’s having fun studying. Gonta’s cheerful demeanor and bright smile is contagious, and Shuichi’s not beating himself up nearly as often as he normally would be, even with the wrong answers.

They get through a good chunk of the stack before Shuichi’s in need of a proper study break, and when Gonta sets down the stack of index cards, Shuichi flops down on his back on the bed, letting his eyes flutter shut. “You doing really well, Shuichi,” Gonta tells him, and Shuichi hums, a soft smile making its way onto his face despite himself. “You so smart...Gonta  _ know _ you gonna do great on your test!”

“Ah, I don’t know about all that, but...thank you,” Shuichi says, looking up. Gonta’s leaning a bit over him, and Shuichi feels his gut tug a bit impulsively. He doesn’t really know why, though. It’s probably the proximity getting to his nerves. “Before I forget to ask—before we get started again, really—did  _ you _ need any help with studying?”

Gonta shakes his head, and Shuichi sits up again. Their faces are rather close now, since Gonta hadn’t moved away. “Shuichi...said he wanted to work on little shows of affection few nights ago,” Gonta says, casting his glance away. Shuichi’s brow furrows. He hadn’t thought much about it since their ‘double date’ with Maki and Kait, but he supposes Gonta’s right. They should probably get better at casual affection if they’re going to hope to make it to Halloween with no suspicions. “If Shuichi not wanna anymore, that fine too! Gonta just not sure if...Shuichi still think it good idea. A-And since Shuichi really smart, Gonta...trust his judgement.”

That was oddly intense. “Y-Yeah, that’s...we should probably work on that,” he agrees, and his mouth feels drier than usual. “If  _ Maki _ is showing more casual affection than we are, I think it’s pretty safe to say we’re not really on  _ par _ with where we need to be. S-Sorry, that was a crappy joke, I—”

Gonta cuts him off with a wave of giggles, his shoulders shaking as he laughs. “No, no, Shuichi very funny!” he assures him quickly, his voice wavering a little bit with what is—both a little surprisingly and unsurprisingly—genuine mirth. He composes himself, albeit a bit quicker than Shuichi had been expecting him to, and he looks down at Shuichi again. “So Shuichi...does wanna work on a-affection?”

“I mean, it’s probably not too terribly hard if we don’t overthink it, but that’s not either of our strong-suits,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods rather sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. The gesture moves his hair, just enough to remind Shuichi of something they’d talked about towards the beginning of this whole ordeal. “Oh! You mentioned hair touching a while back. I think that’s definitely something casual enough that could work!”

“R-Right! Okay, Gonta can do that,” he says, already bringing that contagious enthusiasm back, and Shuichi grins. Gonta looks like he’s considering something, and Shuichi tilts his head just slightly, hoping that that’s enough to invite Gonta to speak his mind. Thankfully, it works. “Um, maybe Gonta can hold Shuichi sometimes? L-Like a hug, but from the back! A back-hug! And if Shuichi want, we can share food, too! That what couples do in movies, right?”

Speak of the devil, Shuichi gets the notification that their food is here. “That’s probably a good idea. Let me go grab our katsudon, yeah? You can wait here, I’ll be right back up,” he says, and Gonta nods. Since he’d already paid through the app, all he has to do is grab the food from the delivery guy and head back to his room. He hands Gonta one of the takeout boxes, surprised when he pulls out his wallet. “Oh, no, you don’t have to worry about paying me back, don’t worry! I-It’s on me.”

“You sure? Gonta can pay, no problem,” he says, but Shuichi’s not having it. It’s the least he can do after Gonta’s put up with everything this stupid scheme has brought the two of them. He still looks a little hesitant to put the money away, but he does, digging into the food.

Shuichi opens up the box of onigiri, surprised to see they’re not fully-sized. “Hey, did you want to try some?” he asks, offering the box. Gonta nods, and he moves to wipe his chopsticks off, but Shuichi beats him to the punch. They might as well start practicing those little shows of affection now, right? He lifts one of the mini rice balls up to Gonta’s mouth, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “H-Here, don’t worry about your chopsticks. Mine are...clean, so…”

Gonta’s eyes flit from the rice back up to Shuichi’s face, and he seems rather flustered about the gesture, but he leans forward a bit to take the onigiri from Shuichi’s chopsticks. He hums, and Shuichi smiles. That wasn’t too hard. “Thank you,” Gonta says once he’s finished, and Shuichi waves his hand dismissively. “O-Oh, Shuichi wanna try some of Gonta’s pork?”

“N-Nah, that’s okay. We got the same thing anyway, right?” Shuichi says, still a little embarrassed about sharing the rice. Gonta nods, focusing very intensely on his food. There’s a slight bit of tension, but it’s not  _ unbearable. _ They’re probably going to have to get used to that if they’re going to pull this off until Halloween. “I-I just figured...the longer we have to keep up appearances, the more comfortable people will expect us to be as a couple, so...we should probably try and actually get comfortable with each other.”

“Right! S-Sorry, Gonta just...not really used to so much attention,” Gonta says meekly, eyes still focused on nothing but his quickly diminishing box of takeout. “But Shuichi prolly right. Gonta do his best not to get so embarrassed from now on!”

Laughing nervously, Shuichi scoots a bit closer to Gonta on the bed. “I mean, we’re both not exactly the most extroverted, out-there people,” Shuichi adds, picking at one of the green onions. Now, Gonta looks at him, head tilted just slightly in confusion. It’s a habit Shuichi’s starting to get good at recognizing. “Well, you’re probably more of a people person than I am, but I’m just saying it kind of makes sense for us not to be the most  _ touchy _ couple. I-In terms of what we look like to other people, I mean.”

It’s weird to talk about the two of them as though they actually  _ have _ a relationship dynamic, but there’s not really a polite way of saying that they’re most definitely  _ not _ a couple despite having to act like one constantly. They sit in less-than-comfortable silence as they eat. Shuichi’s not really sure why he’s feeling so uneasy at the moment. It’s not as though they haven’t talked about what they should do in front of other people or practiced shows of affection before, so why does it feel so awkward now?

The most likely answer is that it’s pretty much spiraled out of control since the last time they’d had a conversation like this. That, and the fact that by the time Halloween rolls around, they’ll have been ‘dating’ for a significant enough amount of time that  _ some _ affection is probably expected of them. God, unspoken social contracts are weird.

“Should...Shuichi and Gonta get back to studying now?” Gonta offers once they’ve both finished their food, and Shuichi nods, eager to have an excuse not to think about the nuances of their faked relationship for any longer. Gonta picks the stack of index cards back up, and Shuichi tosses their empty takeout boxes in the trash. “R-Right, okay, um...next one is strain theory!”

*****

They’ve long since finished the index cards with terms, and now Gonta and Shuichi are hovering over Shuichi’s forensic criminology textbook, and Shuichi’s currently attempting to explain the difference between authoritative and authoritarian styles of parenting and how the two affect the likelihood of criminal activity in children. Even though the subject is ridiculously boring—at least, Shuichi assumes it would be to anyone that’s not him—Gonta is listening with the utmost attention, nodding along every so often as Shuichi rambles on.

“...And so if the kid gets  _ no _ autonomy, they’re more likely to develop resentment for their parents and they’ll become more and more likely to lash out in possibly criminal ways as time goes on as a result. Not to mention that overbearing parents tend to assume they’ve done nothing wrong, and they’ll miss all the reasons their kid has for cutting them off or committing a crime,” Shuichi finishes, finally looking up from the textbook.

He hadn’t realized how close their faces had gotten, and his cheeks quickly go red as he looks away. Gonta doesn’t shy from him, though. “Wow, Shuichi so smart! That make lot of sense,” he says, and Shuichi’s still a little incredulous that he’d managed to follow that whole ramble. Not that Gonta isn’t smart enough to follow a concept like that, it’s more that Shuichi’s words tend to come out in an indecipherable jumble when he yammers on about something. “So they...not know why the kids think they bad, even if they do bad things? Sort of like missing reasons?”

“Exactly! And that’s why it’s so important to advocate for social workers handling juvenile cases, because the majority of them tend to stem from problems at home or school, and the people responsible for those kids just...miss why they would do something like that,” Shuichi says, feeling that familiar spark of passion in his gut. “God, I’m so sick of seeing people ignore the part that trusted adults play in those situations.”

“Shuichi really know a lot about this stuff, it really impressive!” Gonta tells him, and Shuichi flushes red, still very much aware of their close proximity. Gonta seems to notice it too, now, and his cheeks also go a bit red. “Ah, um...s-sorry. Gonta will go sit somewhere else if Shuichi want him to!”

“No, no, it’s fine. I mean, we’ll probably have to get used to being close to each other, anyways, so...yeah,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods, though he does take a half-step to get just a little further from Shuichi. “I...really liked talking about this, Gonta. Thanks for indulging me. I know me ranting about this kind of stuff can get annoying, so I really do appreciate it.”

Gonta looks rather indignant at his words, which is surprising in itself. “Shuichi could never be annoying! Even if Gonta not understand some of what Shuichi talking about, that not Shuichi’s fault,” he says earnestly, and Shuichi’s breath hitches. “Gonta always wanna hear about what his friends like! You not have to thank Gonta for listening, Shuichi!”

“I-I...don’t know what to say to that,” Shuichi says, and he really doesn’t. It’s a really comforting thing to hear. Gonta just smiles gently at him. “You know, the same goes for you. I know I’m not the  _ biggest _ fan of bugs, but if you ever want to, you can talk about them with me. I probably won’t contribute anything worthwhile, but if you want to, then…”

Well, that comment went over far better than Shuichi had expected. Gonta looks absolutely delighted. But before either of them can say anything, there’s a knock at the door. “Hey, hey, Shuichi, can I come in?” Kaede’s voice calls, and Shuichi heads over to the door to let her in. At the sight of Gonta standing by the desk, the textbook still open, she grins. “Ooh, study date! Fun, sorry to be crashing it. I just wanted to know if you two were coming to game night this Friday, we’re doing it in the lounge this time.”

Shuichi’s about to agree, but Gonta speaks up before he can. “We have fitting with Tsumugi on Friday, though,” he says, and Shuichi realizes he’s right. Damn. “Maybe we can move it to right after Shuichi’s classes on Friday!”

“That’s...actually a really good idea, I’ll text Tsumugi in a bit,” Shuichi says, and Kaede beams at him. “So...what friendship-ending game are we playing this time? Don’t tell me we’re doing Uno again, we don’t need Ryoma to punch another hole in the wall. Nor do we need Kaito to break another shot glass.”

Kaede snickers. “Nah, we’re doing Monopoly this time,” she says, and Shuichi feels the dread start to set in already. That’s never a good idea, not to  _ mention _ how ruthless their peers can be when it comes to game night. “Look, I know what you’re thinking, but it’ll be fine! It’s all in good fun, and we’re doing teams to make sure everyone has a partner that can pacify them when they get pissed off because  _ someone _ keeps stealing properties.”

Shuichi throws his hands up in mock surrender. “It’s not my fault I got lucky last time! And it’s also not my fault Kaito kept landing in jail, I wish he would quit bringing that up, those dice were  _ not _ loaded,” he huffs, and Kaede giggles at him, shoving his shoulder. “But yeah, we should be able to make it if Tsumugi lets us move the fitting.”

“Perfect! Okay, I’ll get out of your hair now,” Kaede hums, ruffling Shuichi’s hair enough to offset his bangs. He glares at her, and she sticks her tongue out at him. Then, Gonta’s fingers are carding through his hair, setting the dark locks back in place. Shuichi feels his face go hot, and Kaede coos. “Aww, you guys enjoy your study date, m’kay? See you!”

And with that, she’s gone.

At least they’re getting a little better at this.


	11. Table Toss

Shuichi’s already feeling relatively tired. Tsumugi is ruthless with their fittings, and she’d actually had samples ready to be pinned and adjusted this time, too. The fabric she’d used to make the mockups isn’t exactly the most comfortable, either, and Shuichi’s  _ still _ feeling slightly itchy. But hey, there’ll be snacks and drinks in the lounge by the time they get there, and Shuichi doesn’t have to worry about going to class hungover the next morning since it’s a Friday.

The lounge always has a nice atmosphere. The lights are never too bright, soft enough not to hurt your eyes, but bright enough to keep everyone in the room awake. And the smell of popcorn and booze  _ does _ offset the chill atmosphere, but it’s not an unwelcome scent as Shuichi and Gonta arrive.

The coffee table is set up with the Monopoly board already, but no one seems to be eager to get into the game just yet. Kaede looks up from the cocktail she’s pouring and she lights up, setting down the bottle of liquor and bounding right over. “Hey, hey! So we’re playing in teams of two, but there’s only ten of us tonight, including you guys,” she says, and Shuichi’s already preparing to hear her rattle off the list of names. “It’s me, Miu, Kaito, Maki, Rantaro, Kirumi, Ryoma, you two, and Angie, but she just dipped into the bathroom.”

“Right, gotcha. So...are we picking teams  _ before _ we start, or…?” Shuichi asks, trailing off seeing as Kaede herself looks pretty uncertain. Miu calls for her, and she quickly excuses herself to go help her girlfriend out. Shuichi just sighs and turns back to Gonta. “I’m gonna grab something to drink. You want anything?”

“Ah, no, Gonta okay, he gonna go get some food,” Gonta says, and Shuichi leaves him to it, heading over to the table where Kirumi is neatly arranging the various different bottles of alcohol.

She nods in greeting, and Shuichi nods back as he grabs a sparkling cider. It’s better than beer, but it’s not going to get him completely drunk or anything like Miu’s dangerous-looking combination of several flavored vodkas. “I’m very glad you two are joining us for game night,” Kirumi says, and Shuichi gives her a small smile as he struggles with the bottle opener. “Gonta isn’t really one for game nights, especially when it’s games that...certain classmates tend to get rather frustrated with. Do you need any help with that?”

She gestures to the half-bent bottle cap, and Shuichi nods sheepishly, stepping back to let her help. “Ah, thanks,” he says as she hands him the now open bottle, and he takes a sip. It stings, but the flavor is decent enough that the sensation doesn’t bother him all too much. “And I can’t exactly blame him for that one. I don’t think anybody saw it coming when Ryoma  _ demolished _ the drywall.”

Ironically enough, they’re standing close to the spot where the hole in the drywall had been spackled over. Kirumi stifles a laugh behind her hand. “Yes, that was...a bit surprising,” she concedes as the two of them head over to the coffee table. “Then again, I imagine getting hit with—what was it, six? Six draw fours in a row is quite infuriating.”

That, Shuichi admits, would break any man.

“And that crap better not happen again,” Ryoma says, and while it’s a little hard to tell from his flat tone, Shuichi’s pretty sure he’s just bantering with them. Kirumi smiles gently and gives Ryoma a small wave, and he hums. “Good to see you, Saihara. How was your fitting with Shirogane? She can be pretty over the top.”

For a moment, Shuichi wonders how he’d have known about that, but then he recalls that Ryoma and Gonta are pretty close. “It was fine, nothing too crazy. That fabric was itchy as all hell, though,” he says, and Ryoma has the ghost of a smile on his face. “I would say I’m looking forward to Monopoly, but I feel like that would be an astronomically naive thing to say.”

That actually gets a short, barked laugh from Ryoma, and Shuichi grins. So does Kirumi, though her cheeks are kind of pink. Shuichi raises an eyebrow at her, and she turns away, tidying...nothing. “Oh, hey, you guys ready to start?” Kaede chirps from behind them, and Shuichi turns and beams at her. “Cool, cool! Yo, guys, let’s hurry up and get this show on the road, I’ve got a hair appointment at two in the afternoon and I need at least four hours tomorrow morning to sleep off my upcoming shitfaced-ness!”

Shaking his head fondly, Shuichi settles down on the ground in front of one of the armchairs, and he takes a quick look at the teams that have formed. Surprisingly enough, it’s not just by couples. Maki and Kaede have formed a team, and so have Rantaro and Miu. Kaito’s still deciding by the look of things, but Angie bounds over and wraps an arm around Ryoma’s shoulders as she sits—though he looks less than pleased—so Shuichi supposes that’s settled.

Kaito and Kirumi have also formed an alliance, so Shuichi supposes that leaves him and Gonta to form the last team. He’s not exactly going to complain; he doubts Gonta’ll be as easily irritated as Kaito or Maki, and he’s probably less spend-happy than Kaede or Angie. The last open seat is the armchair Shuichi’s sitting in front of, so Gonta settles down there. Shuichi is very much conscious of the fact Gonta’s legs are directly behind him, and that there’s just a little bit of space separating them.

“Alright, everybody knows how to play, right? And for those of us that don’t,” Kaede adds quickly, and Shuichi is slightly thankful for the fact she switches from looking at Gonta to looking at Kaito  _ very _ swiftly, “your teammates do, so you’ll get the hang of it! Okay, so Rantaro’s birthday is next, isn’t it? So you guys will go first, and we’ll just go clockwise after that. Got it?”

They all give varying acknowledgements, and as Rantaro reaches for the dice, Miu snatches them up and rolls them so hard Shuichi fears they’re going to fall off the table. “Hah! Ten! Suck on that, you fuckin’ wimps—! Shit! We missed all the damn properties,” she whines as Rantaro shifts their tiny metal wheelbarrow over to the visiting section of the jail. Shuichi stifles a laugh, but Miu hears him snort. “Shut up, shitlips, I’ll kick your ass! You  _ and _ tree dick are going down, so go ahead and roll, ya fuckin’ twink!”

“Tone it down, dearest,” Kaede says, her voice dangerously cheery. Miu grumbles something under her breath, but she seemingly relents. Kaede turns her attention to Shuichi, and he sits up straight and grabs the dice. “Go ahead! Good luck!”

He’s about to roll them, but he realizes that while he has played many a game of Monopoly, most of them ending in disaster, Gonta has never played before. Shuichi stands up and hands the dice over. “H-Here, you should be the one doing all the important stuff. I’ve played tons before, so...yeah,” he says, and Gonta beams up at him. They switch spots—Shuichi’s the one sitting in the armchair now. Gonta rolls, and...snake eyes. Shuichi hands over their money, and Kaede hands him the card for the second brown property. “Since you got doubles, you get to roll again!”

Gonta rolls, and they get a three. A light blue property this time. Shuichi forks over the money, and Kaede begrudgingly hands over the next property card. Gonta sets the little metal terrier dog down on the blue property as Miu grumbles something about how unfair this game is, even at the very beginning.

“Did Gonta do good?” Gonta asks as Angie and Ryoma take their turn. They land on the blue property the two of them had just purchased, and Angie’s smile feels a little forced as she forks over the ‘rent.’ Shuichi just nods in response to Gonta’s question. Two properties in the first turn is  _ incredibly  _ lucky.

Their next turn fares even better, with Gonta rolling another snake eyes, two threes, and a community chest that forces Kaede to hand them a solid fifty. Two turns in and they already have four properties.  _ Jesus. _ The rest of the teams are definitely giving them some serious death glares, but Shuichi ignores them in favor of encouraging Gonta.

“Dude, how are you this lucky?” he asks quietly as Angie buys a property that Ryoma is  _ vehemently _ against buying, and he stifles a laugh. Gonta just shrugs, but he seems pleased that they’re in the lead. “Well, whatever it is you’re doing, keep doing it. Maybe we’ll even be the first to get a monopoly! Th-That’s a whole color set, we can put houses and stuff on it to make the rent more expensive and demolish—uh. Win. We can win that way.”

*****

Chaos has broken out amongst the lounge.

Gonta’s luck hadn’t stopped or faded at all, and now, about midway into the game, the two of them are in possession of three monopolies and the entirety of the railroads. Understandably, everyone else is absolutely furious about this, but Shuichi can’t see their glares when he counts up their little fake slips of money.

Rantaro rolls straight into the hotel they have on the cheaper brown property, and Miu lets out a rather unholy shriek. Gonta is  _ extremely  _ alarmed, and while Shuichi’s not going to outwardly admit it, he’s kind of finding this whole thing a little funny. Maybe that has to do more with him being tipsy than anything else, because he’d normally be finding somewhere to hide at the absolute death stare Maki’s giving him at the moment.

Shuichi leans forward to collect the rent, and Miu stomps a foot indignantly. In leaning over Gonta, however, Shuichi finds himself pressed up against Gonta’s back, and he briefly freezes up. But Gonta had said back-hugs were fine,  _ suggested _ them, even, so Shuichi plays it off by reaching his arms around Gonta’s shoulders and sorting the money into the various stacks they have by their little section of the board.

Rather than pull away, he stays there, head tilted against the top of Gonta’s. At first, Gonta’s stiff, but he seems to sense that Shuichi’s just trying to make them look natural, and he leans into the touch. Kaede’s rage seems to soften, if just a bit, as Kaito takes the dice. He, too, lands on a monopoly of theirs, and he looks dangerously close to throwing the board across the room, as does Kirumi.

“You guys have too much power,” Maki grumbles as she takes the dice from Kaito. “Three monopolies.  _ Three. _ None of us have  _ ever _ gotten three goddamned monopolies before. Screw you guys— _ are you actually serious? _ Kaede, I’m going to commit a double homicide.”

They’re bankrupt now, and Kaede looks like she’s going to scream as she hands their assets over to Gonta, who innocently sets them down in order by their section of the board. “Now you have  _ four  _ monopolies!” Kaito cries out, and he throws a finger in Shuichi’s face. “There’s no way you guys aren’t cheating! The dice are loaded again!”

“The dice aren’t loaded, you’re just being dramatic,” Rantaro says, rolling them. He lands on one of Kaito and Kirumi’s properties—not a monopolized one, but a pricey one nonetheless—and he hands over the rent. “See? Not cheating. They’re probably just riding the high of Gonta’s beginner’s luck.”

“I’m going to kill them regardless,” Maki grumbles, and Shuichi rolls his eyes as Angie and Ryoma land on a chance space. They have to pay each player a ten, and Angie seems fine handing it to everyone. Well, everyone but them. With them, Shuichi has to practically pry the bill out of her hand.

After another few rounds, everyone manages to stay afloat, but after Kaito lands on one of Shuichi and Gonta’s green spaces, it’s game over for them, and he  _ actually _ might flip the coffee table. Their empire grows, and it seems like Gonta’s starting to understand why everyone’s so faux-mad at the two of them. He’s settled in between Shuichi’s legs, his back pressed against the bottom of the armchair, and Maki moves to sit beside Kaito now that both of them are out of the game.

“This game is bullshit,” Ryoma grumbles, and Miu nods eagerly in agreement. And, as it turns out, Angie and Ryoma are next on the chopping block. Shuichi’s won games of Monopoly before, but he’s never swept the floor with the competition like he is now. “That’s it. I need a stronger drink. Kirumi, where’s the scotch?”

Shuichi takes the last sip of his own drink as Miu rolls the dice. “If your luck makes us win right now, I will lose my mind,” he murmurs, dipping low enough so that only Gonta will hear him. “I mean, not  _ literally, _ but I’ll probably...I dunno. Cheer or something.”

Gonta chuckles, and Shuichi leans back again as Miu narrowly avoids their worst monopoly, the tiny wheelbarrow tucking itself safely on a community chest. “Jesus, there’s practically no way we’re fuckin’ winning,” Miu huffs as Gonta lands them on a chance that makes Kaede fork over another solid hundred. “You know what?  _ Fuck _ this game, you dipshits win, congrats. But  _ now, _ we’re gonna do what  _ we’re _ good at. And that’s embarrassing you limpdick fucks!”

“Language,” Kirumi pipes up softly, her face slightly flushed as she takes another sip from her—third? Maybe her fourth glass of wine. Miu flips her off.

“And what exactly didja have in mind?” Kaito says, his beer precariously tipping in his hand as he leans forward. Just as Miu’s about to give her suggestion, he cuts her off with a loud gasp. “I got it! We should go old school! Good ol’ truth or dare!”

Maki rolls her eyes, but she leans closer into Kaito’s side. “That’s a really stupid suggestion,” she mumbles, but he pays her no mind, instead choosing to focus on stealing some more of Rantaro’s popcorn. “Alright, then, why don’t you go first, big shot? Truth or dare?”

When Kaito confidently chooses dare, Kaede jumps up and down in her seat. “Ooh! Ooh, I got a good one! Lemme pick his dare, Maki!” she squeaks, and Maki gestures for her to go ahead. She taps a finger on her chin as a devious grin spreads across her face. “I dare you to stop talking about space until after classes on Monday! You’re welcome everybody.”

There are a few cheers from around the coffee table. Kaito huffs and turns to Miu. “Truth or dare, Iruma?” he asks flatly, and Miu boldly—and loudly—asks for a dare. “I dare you to only drink beer for the rest of the night.”

Miu whines, long and obnoxious as she leans on Kaede. “That’s no  _ fair, _ you ass-tronaut!” she huffs, but she does shove her weird concoction of various vodkas into Kaede’s hands and snatches Kaito’s beer from him. She makes a face as she takes a sip. “Eugh, that shit is  _ so _ fuckin’ nasty. How the hell do you drink wheat jizz and think it’s good?! Anyways! Saihara, pick dare, you fuckin’ pussy! Or truth, but if you pick dare you’ll be  _ less _ of a pussy.”

Shuichi’s not nearly drunk enough to willingly accept a dare from Miu, so he takes a deep breath and sits up. “Truth, and please don’t make a fuss about it,” he says as she goes to open her mouth and do just that.

Rolling her eyes, Miu cups her chin with the hand not holding the stolen beer. “Fuck’s sakes. I can’t...ugh. Fine,” she grumbles, and Shuichi’s pretty sure she’ll get bored and lob a softball question at him in defeat. Unfortunately, very much so, in fact, Shuichi could not be more wrong. A dark grin spreads across her face. “How many times do you two do it a day? It’s gotta be a lot, huh? How big is—”

“Zero!” Shuichi says as soon as his brain catches up to her questions. He feels his face go bright red as everyone gives him a wide array of expressions, ranging from eyebrow waggling to slightly tipsy glares. “We—no. We don’t—it’s not—! Just...Christ, Miu, please never speak again.”

That gets a few laughs, and thankfully, after Shuichi gives Rantaro the first dumb dare that comes to mind, all seems forgotten. But, given that they’re drunk college students, of  _ course _ it doesn’t stay entirely pure. Kaito goads Maki into telling them all something  _ very _ raunchy that Shuichi would like to have eradicated from his memory forever, and Angie makes Kirumi take two of her three dress layers off.

It’s Miu’s turn again, once Kirumi has asked her the craziest thing she’s ever done—again, Shuichi would love nothing more than to purge his brain—and this time, her smile is predatory as she turns towards Gonta. Immediately, Shuichi is sitting at attention; Kirumi is a little too tipsy to be on guard, and Maki, that absolute traitor, seems amused.

“Well? Do you want truth or dare, tree dick?” Miu asks, eyes narrowed. Shuichi is tempted to tell her to just skip this turn, but he knows it’s probably overkill. Gonta hesitantly asks for a dare, and Miu looks absolutely delighted. That doesn’t bode well. “I dare  _ you _ to go take Shuichi up to your room and give him a good time, if you catch my drift!”

Thankfully, Gonta’s confused rather than embarrassed. Kaede pinches Miu’s ear and yanks her slightly. “You’re so gross sometimes,” she huffs, cheeks puffed out in irritation. She turns her attention to Shuichi and Gonta, wincing sympathetically. “A dare’s a dare, but if you want to take this as an excuse to turn in for the night, you are  _ more _ than welcome to.”

Pressing his hands to his back as he pushes the armchair back and stands, Shuichi nods. “That’s probably a good idea. I’m pretty tired,” he admits, and though Gonta still looks a bit confused, he stands to follow Shuichi out. As they head down the hall to the dorm rooms, Shuichi can tell Gonta’s thinking about asking what Miu had meant. “It’s...better not to ask. Preserve your wholesomeness, man.”

Gonta nods, but he still looks a little unsure. “Shuichi wanna come up to Gonta’s room?” he asks, and despite the complete innocence in his tone, Shuichi does a double take. “W-Well, Miu said to show Shuichi good time in Gonta’s room, so Gonta thought he maybe should invite Shuichi to watch movie! If Shuichi wanna, i-if not, that okay too!”

Relief flows through him, though he supposes there’d been no real risk in the first place, and he smiles. “Sure, I’d be down for that. I-I’m still a little buzzed, so, uh, would you mind if I grabbed some water real quick?” Shuichi asks, and Gonta nods. He dips into his room to grab whatever half-empty plastic water bottle he’d left lying around, and Gonta waits patiently outside. When Shuichi comes back out, he looks a little concerned, but as Shuichi takes a sip of water, he smiles softly. “So, what movie were you thinking?”

“Shuichi like old detective movies, right? Like, um, Pale Flower?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi nods, his eyes a little wide. He hadn’t expected Gonta to know any of those detective, noir movies, let alone one as intense as that one. “Gonta looked up movies like that a while ago, just in case someone ask about movies Shuichi like! Or just in case Shuichi asked Gonta to...watch one with him. B-But that kind of silly, s-sorry, Gonta shouldn’t assume like that—”

“I-It’s okay! That’s such a sweet gesture, I really appreciate it,” Shuichi says softly, smiling up at Gonta as he holds the door to his room open. He’s never been in Gonta’s room before now, but it’s pretty much what he’d thought it’d be like. There are neat little plants on each shelf, not taking them over, but being significant enough that the first color Shuichi registers in the room is green. His room looks so cozy and  _ soft, _ and Shuichi can’t help but feel relaxed. “Your room is really nice, Gonta. It’s very you.”

Gonta looks absolutely delighted. “Thank you! Gonta do his best to keep dorm room neat, but sometimes it kinda hard,” he says, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. His gaze drifts to the television, perched on a shelf that’s also lined with plants and a few knick knacks, and he perks up. “Oh! R-Right! Shuichi can sit anywhere, Gonta will put movie on!”

The bed looks like the most comfortable place to sit, so Shuichi settles on the edge. Idly, he wonders if their friends are still going with the game in the lounge. If they are, they’re probably going to go until a good few hours past midnight, but if they’d already split off, that’s likely for the best. Shuichi had left the last game night early too, though he’s  _ well _ aware of everything that had transpired afterwards.

Gonta sits down next to him as the movie flickers to life, the scene opening on a group of gamblers. Shuichi finds himself smiling, if just slightly. This is one of the better noir films produced later in the twentieth century, at least in his opinion. Even as intense as the movie can be, it’s of such good quality that Shuichi can never bring himself to pick a fight with the sad ending. He hates sad endings.

Gonta, on the other hand, seems cautious, but intrigued. Shuichi finds himself pointing out little details—though he’d never spoil the plot—to Gonta, telling him to watch out for the symbolism on a specific card or that the way the main character’s eye is twitching says  _ just _ how he feels about the asshole trying to con him out of his money.

As the movie progresses, Shuichi finds it’s easier to lean into Gonta than to bother maintaining a mandatory gap between them in hopes of not making things awkward. And sure, the whole fabricated relationship thing adds a factor of discomfort in general, but Shuichi hopes just a little platonic affection is okay. After all, if they’re going to be stuck like this for a couple more weeks, they’ll have to get used to it. Not that they haven’t been trying to get used to it since this whole thing had started.

The film ends, sad but not dissatisfying, and Shuichi sits up and stretches. He’s more tired than he’d thought he’d be, and at some point during the movie, he’d been resting his cheek on Gonta’s shoulder. “Ah, sorry. I didn’t realize,” Shuichi says, and God, he even  _ sounds _ tired. It’s about time he heads to his own room and gets to bed, then. Gonta follows him over to the door, and Shuichi wonders if he should go through with the weird impulse he’s just had to give Gonta’s arm a squeeze. In the end, he decides against it. Too on the edge of platonic and fake-date affection. “Thanks. For tonight, I mean. I’m really glad I got to share something like that with you, i-it means a lot.”

The soft smile on Gonta’s face fits rather well there, Shuichi thinks. “Of course,” he says, and he’s not as enthusiastic as he’d normally be. Shuichi wonders whether that has anything to do with the way his own voice had been dipped in tiredness. “Shuichi should get some rest, you want Gonta to walk you to your room?”

“Nah, I’ve got it,” Shuichi says with a shrug. Gonta holds the door open for him, ever the gentleman, and Shuichi does follow through with his impulses this time to bump his shoulder playfully against Gonta’s arm. “Thanks again. Night, Gonta.”

“Goodnight, Shuichi.”


	12. Calling All The Monsters

Several fittings and midterms fly by faster than Shuichi had anticipated, and soon enough, it’s the day of the Halloween party they’d been invited to. Pretty much everyone on campus is going to be there; it’ll be chaotic as hell and will probably end up in empty classes tomorrow morning, but most of the professors already know that. Most of Shuichi’s professors are treating tomorrow’s classes as office hours.

And now, as he and Gonta stand in front of the finished costumes Tsumugi has spent over a month carefully crafting for them, he can’t help but be a little impressed. Though he knows the armor isn’t real, at first glance, it’s hard to tell that it’s not. He hasn’t taken a good look at Gonta’s yet, mostly because he’s so in awe of his own costume, but he can see that the two styles are  _ vastly _ different.

Tsumugi squeals, as if she’s been holding back a dam of words, and it all comes gushing right out as she spirals into an explanation. “There’s this  _ adorable _ series I’ve been into recently about a prince that falls in love with a barbarian king!” she chirps, and Shuichi properly takes in Gonta’s costume. Sure enough, furs and bones are the main theme of his, a bright contrast to Shuichi’s sleek metal look. “They have to keep their love a secret because the barbarians dislike the civilization the prince comes from and vice versa, but then the prince is forced into courting a princess from a neighboring kingdom, but  _ she’s  _ in love with her handmaiden, so they form a pact where they pretend to be betrothed while secretly seeing their respective partners! Isn’t that just so  _ romantic?” _

Well, now Shuichi’s a bit uneasy. It doesn’t seem as though Tsumugi’s aware of his and Gonta’s own fake relationship, however, so Shuichi lets himself relax a little. “That sounds pretty compelling,” he says as he traces his hands over the chest plate. It’s smooth, save for the mock engravings on it. “This looks incredible, Tsumugi, thank you again for making these.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, really. I love making cosplay for other people,” she hums, though she frowns as she picks at the cloak on Shuichi’s armor. “Hang on, there’s a stitch out here, let me go and patch that up. You can go and get changed, though, Gonta! No need for you to wait, this should only take a few minutes.”

Nodding, but oddly quiet, Gonta takes the costume gingerly from Tsumugi and heads into the bathroom. Shuichi glances at the door as it closes behind Gonta, and his brow furrows. “Um, so about this...series,” Shuichi starts, still a little curious, and Tsumugi hums in acknowledgement as she gets to fixing up the cloak. “Does it...does it have a happy ending?”

He doesn’t exactly know why he’s asking—he’s not really into shows like that—but he doesn’t feel at ease knowing the character he’s dressing up as could possibly be miserable in the end. “Of course it does! It’s a romance series after all,” Tsumugi says with a grin as she finishes off the cape. “There you go! All patched up.”

When Gonta comes out of the bathroom, Shuichi finds it a little hard to look away. He hadn’t realized when the costume had been on the mannequin, but Gonta’s entire upper body, save for his back, is pretty much completely exposed. Meaning that his absolutely  _ insane _ muscle definition is on display, and Shuichi can feel his face go hot as he gets a glimpse of Gonta’s abs.

He smiles up at Gonta, but it falters a little when he realizes Gonta doesn’t look all too comfortable. “Hey, you okay? You look great,” Shuichi manages to get out around his embarrassment. Gonta nods, smiling as best as he can. “Ah, um...let me go get changed, then we can...head out.”

Brushing past Gonta, Shuichi slips into the bathroom and sighs as he shuts the door. He slips out of his clothes and starts to put on the costume when the image of Gonta’s practically bare chest decides to make itself prominent in his brain. Shuichi winces and smacks his cheeks lightly. He shouldn’t be thinking about Gonta like that. They’re friends, and their situation is too weird right now to be doing this. Well, Shuichi doesn’t feel  _ that _ way, but he’s not blind.

The armor is a bit snug, but Shuichi thinks he looks pretty good. He’s never been big on Halloween costumes, not since he was a kid anyway, but being in one is pretty fun. Hopefully he looks princely enough to pull it off. His hair could use a bit of taming though—that damn cowlick is always acting up. Shuichi does his best to smooth it down, but there’s no fixing that unless he dumps water on it, and by the time it’s dry, it’ll have gone right back up again.

Shuichi steps out of the bathroom and Tsumugi squeals, clapping her hands. Gonta smiles softly at him, and Shuichi’s pretty sure there’s some sort of approval in his eyes. It’s comforting, in a way. Maybe he’s not kidding himself when he thinks he looks good. Tsumugi ushers him to stand next to Gonta, and she gives the two of them a dreamy sigh.

“Oh, would you two mind posing for me, just for a quick photo? It’ll be  _ so _ fast, I promise,” she assures them, and Shuichi shrugs. He doesn’t really mind, and evidently, neither does Gonta, because he nods. “Okay, perfect! There’s this one cover photo that’s plainly adorable, would you guys mind? Gonta, you’ll have to pick Shuichi up, but I think it’ll be perfect!”

She shows them the photo in question, and Shuichi feels his face go a little hot. Sure enough, the barbarian king is holding the prince, the latter of the two staring up with the most sickeningly loving expression on his face. Well, it’s whatever, he supposes. Tsumugi’s put a ridiculous amount of hard work into these costumes, so it’s the least he can do.

He looks up at Gonta, and while he looks hesitant, he does offer his arms. Shuichi lets himself be lifted up, and he does his best to imitate Tsumugi’s reference picture, as does Gonta. Though, it doesn’t help that their bodies are pressed so close up together that Shuichi can feel Gonta’s body heat through his costume.

But once Tsumugi’s gotten the picture, she mercifully lets them go, and they head off towards the building the party’s being held at. It’s an old warehouse just a few blocks from campus. No one ever uses it, so that’s where most student run events are held. It’s not as though anyone in the neighborhood cares about some barely-adults playing dumb Halloween songs and drinking on a Wednesday night, either.

“So...what d’you say I grab us some drinks and we stick to being wallflowers?” Shuichi asks once they’re by the entryway. Gonta looks relatively relieved at the offer; he seems a bit uncomfortable in the costume. Maybe it’s cold. Shuichi heads over towards what he can make out as the concessions table, and Gonta heads over to some chairs haphazardly strewn about in a corner of the warehouse.

As he’s grabbing some water for Gonta and some punch for himself, Kaito grabs his shoulders and shakes them. “Hey, man, I’m so glad you could make it! Tonight’s gonna be dope as hell,” he says, and Shuichi chuckles quietly. Kaito’s costume is, of course, an astronaut. That’s been his go-to Halloween costume for as long as Shuichi’s known him, and probably, judging by old childhood pictures Kaito’s shown him, even longer. “Where’s the big guy? I wanna see the couple’s costume Tsumugi made you guys. Are you, like, a prince or something?”

“It’s from some series she’s into,” Shuichi explains, raising his voice over the music, and Kaito nods. It’s always something niche, knowing Tsumugi. “And Gonta’s over by the chairs. Anyways, where’s everybody else? It’s really crowded in here. Loud, too.”

“Maki Roll and Kirumi are back at the dorms with Ryoma and Kork. They’re probably waiting for us to come back drunk,” Kaito says, his booming laugh drawing a few stares. He pulls slightly at his collar. Sure, it’s October, but that costume’s gotta be a little hot. “But Kaede and Miu are down by the dancefloor for sure, and I’m  _ pretty _ sure Chabashira’s over with most of the girls making sure nothing happens to ’em. Kiibo’s got the aux, and Rantaro’s making sure Ouma doesn’t get into too much trouble, but who knows how that’ll end up.”

Shuichi sighs and shakes his head. “God...I’m gonna go over to sit with Gonta, you good?” he asks, and Kaito ushers him forward, back into the crowd. As it turns out, it’s a little difficult to hold onto a cup of punch and maneuver through a bunch of costumed people, but somehow Shuichi manages not to spill it as he makes his way to where Gonta’s sitting. “Hey! Sorry that took so long, I ran into Kaito. He says hi, by the way.”

He hadn’t explicitly, but Shuichi’s sure he won’t mind. Gonta smiles nervously at him as he takes the water bottle. “Thanks,” he says, barely audible above the music. Shuichi wonders why he seems so unsure, but he doesn’t really know if Gonta would want to talk about it. “Shuichi look great, by the way! Gonta sorry, h-he not really say it earlier. You having...good time, Shuichi?”

“Ah, th-thanks. And, um, y-yeah, it’s pretty good so far. Music’s nice,” he says, tapping his foot to the rhythm. It’s a catchy song, even if pop music isn’t really his thing. Gonta nods, taking a sip from the water bottle. Once the cap is screwed back on, he crosses his arms over his body and leans down a little in his chair. Shuichi’s brow furrows. “Hey, you okay? You look a little—”

“Shuichi! Hey! I almost didn’t catch you! You guys look great!” Kaede chirps, and Shuichi looks up to see her and Miu standing behind them. Kaede’s in a cute little conductor suit, a comical powdered wig on her head, whereas Miu has settled for what is essentially lingerie with a pair of cat ears. “When did you guys get here?”

Shuichi hums as he takes a sip of the punch. Damn, that hit a little too hard for his liking. “Just a little bit ago,” he says, glancing over at Gonta. He still looks uncomfortable, less so now that Kaede and Miu are here, but Shuichi’s still kind of worried. As far as Shuichi knows, Gonta doesn’t really go to parties, but maybe it’s more to do with the fact they’re still stuck together right now. God, the guilt that settles in his stomach at that thought tastes nasty. “Hey, um, did you want to dance?”

Gonta looks surprised that Shuichi’d even offered. “Ah, n-no, that okay, Gonta gonna stay here for a little,” he says, still only barely loud enough to hear. Shuichi’s about to offer to stay when Kaede and Miu voice their own enthusiasm about wanting to go dance again. Apparently, the conflict is evident in his expression, because Gonta gives him a small smile. “Go and have fun, Gonta okay here.”

Still unsure, Shuichi follows—more like he’s dragged by—Kaede and Miu over to where most of the dancing is taking place. It’s kind of like a mosh pit; he’s surprised that the people jamming out to Halloween music are this intense. But he figures if he’s here, he might as well attempt to have a good time.

So, in his stupidly detailed costume armor, Shuichi lets himself relax and bounces a bit to the rhythm. Kaede pulls him in by his hands and twirls him. It’s a little silly, but it’s not like anyone’s giving them attention, so who cares? Miu pulls Kaede’s hips towards hers and mimics humping her, and Shuichi rolls his eyes with a grin as Kaede smacks her girlfriend’s shoulder playfully. Though, she does yank Miu into their weird little dance circle.

The three of them are having a pretty good time, and when Kaito finds them in the crowd, their dancing gets about ten times goofier; Kaede bends Kaito over and Miu grabs his helmet to put it on as she does some weird, drunk imitation of a dance Shuichi’s pretty sure went viral a few years ago. Letting out a laugh, Shuichi lets Kaito pull him into the worst waltz he’s ever partaken in, and Kaede spins Miu around like she’d done with Shuichi earlier.

In all the fun, Shuichi hadn’t realized that Gonta had moved away from the seats in the corner, and he excuses himself from their makeshift dance circle to go find him. It’s essentially his fault Gonta’s stuck here, so he should at least try to make sure he’s also having a decent time at the party. It’s the least he can do.

Gonta’s not over by the food, or near the dance floor, so maybe he’s outside. Shuichi adjusts the cloak around his neck and heads out into the crisp, cool air. It’s far better than the body-heat ridden warehouse, in all honesty. He hopes Gonta hadn’t ditched the party or anything. Shuichi had figured Gonta would be fine after sitting down and relaxing for a while, but maybe letting him have some time alone had only made things worse.

Thankfully, Gonta’s just sitting down against the wall of the warehouse, eyes closed and head tilted up at the night sky. “Hey,” Shuichi says softly, and Gonta opens his eyes again; they widen when his gaze lands on Shuichi, and he immediately looks like he’s going to apologize, so Shuichi starts talking before he can. “It’s okay, don’t worry. I’m not usually big on parties either, it’s not a big deal. Are you...are you really okay?”

There’s a quiet sigh, and with a guilt-ridden expression, Gonta shakes his head. “S-Sorry, Gonta know Shuichi was having good time with everyone,” he says, and his voice is a little shaky. He’s looking away again, but Shuichi can see his bottom lip trembling just a bit. Shuichi slides down to sit next to him against the wall. “Gonta not mean to ruin party for you, Shuichi. Y-You can go back in, Gonta gonna be fine.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, Gonta,” Shuichi tells him, but Gonta looks relatively unconvinced from what little Shuichi can see of his face. This is probably crossing some kind of boundary, but Shuichi figures he’d do the same if it were Kaede or Kaito in Gonta’s position, so he’s able to justify it to himself as he reaches out to tilt Gonta’s face towards him. “Hey, it’s okay. If you wanna tell me what’s going on, that’s fine, but if you don’t, then that’s okay too. I don’t want to leave you here when you’re obviously upset. That’d be a really crappy thing to do to you, and you’re my friend. I owe it to you, especially with everything that’s been going on.”

Gonta still looks hesitant, but he nods. “Gonta not like the costume,” he mumbles, bringing his knees to his chest and resting his chin there. Shuichi’s a little confused, but he waits for Gonta to continue. “Gonta know Tsumugi work very hard on it, a-and it look great! Just...not on Gonta. It too...showy. Y-You can...see scars. Gonta not like that very much.”

Shuichi feels his heart drop into his stomach. “I-I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize—I  _ should _ have realized, I noticed you were uncomfortable and I didn’t ask—! No,” he says, taking the cloak from around his shoulders and offering it to Gonta, “it’s not about me. I’m sorry, Gonta. I wish I could do more, but...I don’t think this tiny armor would fit you.”

At that, Gonta actually smiles a little. A tiny laugh comes out of his mouth, then it spirals into something bigger, his shoulders shaking as his hand comes up to cover his mouth as he practically cackles. “S-Sorry, that...was just very funny,” he says, eyes still crinkled up a little at the corners. Shuichi can feel his cheeks go a little pink; he hadn’t thought that would actually get a laugh out of Gonta, but he’s glad it had. Gonta puts a hand on his shoulder. “If Shuichi wanna go back into party, he can. Gonta okay now.”

Shuichi hums thoughtfully, but he shakes his head. “Nah. This party’s not all that fun anyways. I think we should ditch it,” he says, and Gonta’s eyes go wide again. He stands, offering a hand to Gonta to help him up, though he doubts he’d need it. “What d’you say we head back to the dorms, and I can introduce you to my yearly tradition of watching horror movies in bed with an ungodly amount of candy?”

Gonta takes his hand and stands, though he’s careful to keep the cloak draped around him as he does. “That sound nice,” he says, and Shuichi beams up at him. They start walking towards the dorms, the music from the party growing a little quieter with each step they take. “Well, ’cept for horror movie part. That just sound scary.”

Shuichi snorts, but he nods. “That’s fair,” he hums, and Gonta glances at him as they get closer to the dorms. The armor is kind of...chafey, so Shuichi’s looking forward to getting in his coziest, laziest pyjamas. “I’ll let you hide behind a pillow during the scary parts, if you want. I usually watch the same ones every year, anyway, so I know when all the jumpscares happen.”

Slightly amazed, Gonta nods. “Wow, that must be hard to memorize,” he says, and Shuichi shrugs. It’s more so that he’s watched them so many times that he can’t possibly not know when they happen, but he’ll take the compliment. “Shuichi sure he not want to go back to party, though? Gonta know he prolly ruin the fun, s-so it okay if Shuichi want to head back!”

“Like I said, you didn’t ruin anything,” Shuichi says, moving to hold the door to the dorms open so that Gonta doesn’t have to adjust the cloak. They head inside, waving a quick hello to Kirumi and Ryoma, who are a weirdly wide space apart on the entryway couch. “D’you wanna grab some comfortable clothes and then meet me in my room? I can’t imagine you’d want to watch a slasher flick in the barbarian king’s costume.”

Gonta quickly agrees, heading up to his dorm room as Shuichi unlocks his own. He shrugs off the armor and sets it in his desk chair carefully. He’ll probably return it to Tsumugi tomorrow, but for now, its fate is the chair. He swaps the chestplate and the dark leggings for a baggy sweater and some flannel pyjama pants, and he grabs a few bags of candy from the stash in his closet. They’re usually pretty cheap if found at the right place before Halloween.

Soon enough, there’s a knock at his door, and Gonta’s standing there in an equally cozy-looking pair of matching pyjamas. Even when he’s in sleepwear, he looks oddly formal. Shuichi lets him in, and Gonta sits on the very edge of the bed, making no move to indicate he’ll be relocating anytime soon.

So Shuichi sits up against his pillows, back resting against the headboard, and he pats the spot next to him. Gonta smiles nervously. “Shuichi sure? Gonta not wanna make Shuichi uncomfy,” he says, and Shuichi huffs and lifts the covers up. It’s basically like a grade school sleepover, and it’s not like he minds being in close proximity to Gonta, so this is really no big deal. Hesitantly, Gonta moves next to him, but he doesn’t settle under the covers like Shuichi had. That’s fine, that’s probably just his comfort level. “So, um...what we watching?”

“You’ll see,” Shuichi tells him, scrolling through the streaming service until he finds the one he’s looking for. It’s not  _ too _ scary, but it’s spooky enough that he’ll be able to enjoy it and warn Gonta about the really scary stuff when it comes up. “And I promise, if I know something scary’s coming up, I’ll warn you, and you can take cover.”

That seems to comfort Gonta, and the tension leaves his shoulders as Shuichi dims the lamp and starts the movie up. Gonta looks far less comforted, however, at the first introduction to the monster as it talks to a little boy, and he clings to Shuichi’s arm rather than the pillow. Shuichi doesn’t mind; he just offers up some of the chocolate in the candy bag, and Gonta gladly takes it, still clutching to Shuichi with his free hand just in case.

He warns Gonta right before the monster attacks the little boy, and instead of making use of the pillow, Gonta has apparently decided Shuichi is a much more convenient source of cover, because he buries his face in the crook of Shuichi’s neck as an arm comes right off the kid. And Shuichi doesn’t really mind that, either, except for the fact it’s his neck.

Evidently, his neck is a more sensitive area than Shuichi had initially thought.

As Gonta sits up, Shuichi comforts him, patting his arm gently. “S-Sorry, that...very scary,” he says, a shaky grin on his face. “But Shuichi really  _ do _ know when scary parts happen! Wow! That make it lot less scary. A-And sorry Gonta hid behind you.”

Well, it was less behind him and more  _ on _ him, but Shuichi doesn’t bother with a distinction. He shifts a little closer to Gonta, instead, just so that maybe Gonta will actually hide behind him this time. The next jumpscare is more subtle, but Shuichi warns Gonta just in case, and getting closer to him, while somewhat successful, had culminated in Gonta ducking right behind Shuichi’s head to hide, and Shuichi can feel his nervous, hitched breathing on the back of his neck. So that’s a no-go.

“Hey, careful, there’s a really scary part coming up,” Shuichi murmurs as the main protagonists start to encounter the monster more and more. Gonta’s eyes go wide, but despite the fear there, he looks like he’s enjoying himself much more now than he had been at the party, which is a huge relief. “If you want, you can, ah, h-hold me. I-I get scared by this part too, and I usually just hug a pillow, but I figure, since we have each other…”

Looking oddly determined at Shuichi’s—slightly exaggerated—admission of fear, Gonta nods and tugs Shuichi between his legs into a back-hug. Which, granted, Shuichi had said he’d be fine with, but in practice, it’s a lot more flustering than he’d have thought. Forcing that thought down into the depths of his mind, he buries his embarrassment in order to cling to Gonta properly as one of the worst jumpscares in the movie plays out.

He can still peek out to see the action happening; it’s more of the initial scare that gets him, but Gonta’s face is tucked into his shoulder, though he moves his head up occasionally to watch the movie between his fingers. It’s a lot better than watching horror movies with Kaito, who practically runs out of the room at the first opportunity. Or Kaede, who has a weird tendency to cheer on the antagonist. With Gonta, he  _ is _ terrified, but it seems like it’s in the adrenaline-rush kind of way.

It kind of reminds Shuichi of the first time he’d seen a horror movie. The wide-eyed fear mixed with awe, the nervous smiles when the calmer parts of the movie are happening, the quiet yelps of fear whenever the monster appears. It’s really endearing, in all honesty. A reaction that’s hard to get tired of.

“The kids...they gonna be okay, right?” Gonta asks, and there’s so much innocence in that tone that Shuichi feels compelled to protect him from the fate of two of the kids. He nods—at least they don’t die in  _ this _ movie—and Gonta lets out a relieved sigh. “Thank  _ goodness. _ Ah, also...thank you for being so nice, Shuichi. Gonta know he not really fun to watch scary movies with.”

“Don’t say that, you’re plenty fun,” Shuichi tells him, eyes getting a little droopy as a more peaceful scene comes on. The lighting in the scene is soft, and the soundtrack is relaxing, and there aren’t any subtitles blocking part of the screen, so it’s kind of making him sleepy. “I like watching this with you.”

Gonta smiles, and Shuichi can tell he’s also getting a bit sleepy, given his head is gingerly resting against Shuichi’s. It’s much better and more comfortable than it had been the last time they’d tried this. Idly, Shuichi wonders when they’d gotten so good at being affectionate. Well, he supposes it doesn’t really matter. This isn’t for an audience, this is just...nice. Friendly and comfortable and oddly familiar.

Eventually, though, Shuichi’s tiredness gets the best of him, and he slowly drifts off to sleep as the peaceful scene comes to a close. He never falls asleep this early into his horror movie marathon, but Gonta’s presence is really comforting, and his body is really warm, and honestly, who could blame Shuichi for falling asleep in Gonta’s arms? Probably future-Shuichi. Tomorrow, he’ll be flustered and apologize.

But tonight? Tonight, they sleep.


	13. Meet The Parents

So, they’re stuck for even longer now. That’s just wonderful.

Of course, the day before they’d planned to ‘break up,’ Kaito had asked where they’d be spending their fall break. Together. And Kaito had suggested that now would be a great time to introduce themselves as a couple to their parents, because to everyone else, they’ve been dating for nearly three months now. And Kaito, in his ever-well-meaning glory, had volunteered to give them a ride up to Shuichi’s parents’ place, given that it would be on the way to the cabin he and Maki would be staying in anyway.

So now, Shuichi and Gonta are once again sitting in Shuichi’s room after being promptly told to pack their bags. “I am... _ so _ sorry,” Shuichi says after a while of silence, and Gonta just smiles tiredly. Shuichi slumps down next to him on the bed. “Hey, at least we’ll be able to go through the break just like that vacation. As far as my family knows, I’m just bringing home a friend, so...it’ll be as platonic as can be, n-no forced affection or anything.”

Gonta shrugs, and while he still looks tired, there’s still optimism etched in his features. “It prolly gonna be fun! Gonta never met friend’s family before,” he says, and Shuichi chuckles quietly. Gonta fidgets with the bottom of his suit jacket. After a bit of a pause, he speaks up again. “What Shuichi’s parents like?”

Shuichi doesn’t really know why he’s a bit taken aback at the question. “Oh, well, uh...probably like anyone else’s…?” he says, trailing off in a shrug. He doesn’t really know who’d he’d be comparing them to, but his family’s pretty normal. Other than the amount of siblings he has, but that’s neither here nor there. “I will warn you, though, my house can be pretty loud sometimes. I usually just hole myself up in my room when things get rowdy.”

Oddly enough, Gonta looks surprised at his response. His brow furrows, and he frowns a little, and it’s a little hard not to wonder what he’s thinking about. “People...loud in your house?” he asks, and Shuichi nods. It’s a little hard not to be loud when there’s ten people, not counting his oldest brother’s spouse and kids, in the house. “Wow...what that like?”

“Your house is  _ quiet?” _ Shuichi asks, and Gonta nods, eyes wide. It seems like an off-limits sort of topic, so Shuichi drops the subject. Instead, he sighs and flops down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Gonta peers down at him, a teasing little smile on his face. Shuichi finds himself smiling, too. “We should probably get packing. I-I’m sorry again. About...this whole mess we’re in. If I had just sucked it up and dealt with that girl from the bar—”

“No,” Gonta interrupts, firmly but quietly, “Shuichi never have to feel uncomfortable like that. It not your fault, Shuichi, Gonta went along with it, Gonta  _ okay _ with it. Gonta not regret helping Shuichi out of there, not for a second. A-And it has been little bit crazy, but that okay too! Gonta glad to spend time with Shuichi, even if everything around it kind of weird.”

Well, that’s honestly a pretty comforting sentiment. In any case, Gonta’s got his bag packed already; it’s sitting by the door, placed down very deliberately out of the way. Shuichi had said he could throw it anywhere, but Gonta’s much too polite to do that. Shuichi supposes he should probably start packing. Kaito’s going to want to leave as soon as possible.

He tosses some outfits in a duffel bag, along with his laptop and both the charger for that and his phone. Some socks, some boxers. He tucks his wallet in his back pocket. Shuichi’ll probably bring his backpack, too, just in case he finds the motivation to work on one of his end-of-term reports for his classes. He doesn’t really need too much; a lot of his stuff  _ is _ back home anyways, so his packing takes him less time than he’d expected.

Once he’s got his duffle bag zipped up, Shuichi leads Gonta out of the dorms, and they wait for Kaito in front of the building. Sure enough, Kaito’s old hag of a car comes stumbling around the corner, and Shuichi sighs. It works perfectly fine—Kaito’s done more than enough work on it to make the damn thing run smoothly—but he refuses to ‘waste’ his money on a new paint job, despite the fact his car is more grey than red at this point.

“Go ahead in, I’ll chuck your bags in the trunk,” Kaito says, beaming at the two of them as he tucks his phone into his back pocket. Which is weird, considering Maki’s already in the car, and while Shuichi wonders who exactly he’d been calling, it’s kind of not his business. Instead of prying, he takes the seat behind Maki and buckles up. Gonta does the same next to him as Kaito slams the trunk shut and takes his place behind the wheel. “So...you guys excited? Meeting the parents and all that, it’s super important!”

Shuichi hums, and Gonta nods, though he turns his gaze out the window as they start heading towards the edge of campus. “What have you guys got planned up at the cabin?” Shuichi asks, and Kaito winks at him through the rearview mirror. Evidently, Maki catches this, because she goes bright red and smacks his shoulder. “Alright, Casanova, discretion would be  _ very _ much appreciated. On both ours and Maki’s accounts.”

Kaito shakes his head fondly as they take a turn down a back road. “Easier on the wheels,” he explains as Shuichi gives him a questioning glance, “and besides, I know a shortcut.” If there’s anything Shuichi doesn’t trust, it’s a Kaito Shortcut, but he’s not about to complain when Kaito had refused the gas money Shuichi had offered. It’s a free ride, and it’s Kaito’s car, so it’s his rules, after all.

“How far out is your parents’ place?” Maki asks after a while on the road, and Shuichi has to shake himself out of the trance he’d developed from staring at the trees. It’s not too far, only about an hour or so, and Shuichi tells her as much. When he does, she sighs, but she nods, a bit resigned. “Fair enough. The cabin’s even further west, so I guess I can’t complain.”

The ride is quiet after that, save for the quiet music that flows from the speakers. Shuichi’s assuming Maki’s in charge of it, otherwise it’d be much louder and much more upbeat than the soft tunes that are filling the car. Shuichi hums along to the ones he recognizes, and at one point, Gonta drifts off, and his head leans just slightly atop Shuichi’s.

By the time they pull into the driveway of Shuichi’s house, he’s almost asleep himself, but he gently shakes Gonta awake. Kaito beams at the two of them, and he hurries out of the car, grabbing their bags from the trunk and heading over to the door. Shuichi wonders what exactly the hell he’s doing, but he just gets out of the car too, Gonta following not far behind.

Shuichi’s mother is enthusiastically greeting Kaito with a plate full of brownies, and Shuichi shakes his head as his oldest brother exasperatedly takes their bags from Kaito and brings them into the house. Gonta looks confused, for some reason, but Shuichi’s kind of too excited about being home to indulge any questions right now.

“Hey, Ma,” he says softly, and she laughs in delight, pulling him into a tight hug as Kaito eyes the brownies with a feral-looking hunger. She peppers kisses over his cheeks, and Shuichi squirms out of her grip, face growing red. It’s not like he’d care if Gonta wasn’t here—Kaito knows very well how affectionate his mother is, given she’d taken to mother hen-ing him the minute she’d met him. “Jeez...where’s everyone else? I didn’t know Sotan would be home this week, is he here with the kids?”

“Everyone’s here, we’re all too excited that you’re coming home for the entire break to  _ not _ be, but your sister does have to go back to her place in a few days. She’s got work,” she explains, and Shuichi nods. Sachi’s usually busy, so he’s not surprised. “But we didn’t know you’d be bringing someone back home! You said you were bringing a friend, I know, but you didn’t say he’d be your  _ boyfriend!” _

Oh, for  _ fuck’s sakes. _

Shuichi glares at Kaito over his shoulder, and he shrugs sheepishly. “I made a deal for the brownies, what can I say?” he says, and Shuichi resists the urge to throttle him. “The information was extorted, truly.”

Gonta is bright red, but somehow he goes even redder as Shuichi’s mother makes her way over to him and reaches up to pinch his cheeks. “He certainly looks like a keeper,” she teases, and Shuichi takes both hands to his temples, rubbing like his life depends on it. Gonta bows in greeting once she lets go of his cheeks, and she blinks in surprise. “Oh, there’s no need to be so formal, dear. But you  _ do _ get brownie points for politeness, don’t you worry.”

She gestures for the two of them to follow her into the house, and Shuichi lets out a long-suffering sigh as they do. But his sigh is quickly replaced by an  _ oomph _ as a tiny person comes careening into his chest. When he realizes who it is, he chuckles and ruffles her hair, and she giggles.

Looking over her shoulder, Sachiko calls out, “Uncle Shu’s here!” She turns back to Shuichi and brings her arms up, demanding to be picked up. Of course he indulges her, and she giggles again as she settles on his shoulders. “Whozzat?”

More people are filing into the foyer now, at least five of his siblings—Souta and Saki are probably in their rooms—and Shuichi winces sympathetically at Gonta. “Uh, this is...Gonta. My, ah. Boyfriend,” he says, and the room erupts into questions and congratulatory statements, Sotan crossing the room to take his daughter and pull Shuichi into a playful headlock. “Get offa me, So!”

“Nah, nah, you’re not running off to your room that easy,” Sachi says, crossing her arms under her chest and leaning against the doorway. “Come on, you brought somebody home! You at  _ least _ have to give us a few minutes to interrogate him.”

“They’re just teasing,” Shuichi assures Gonta as soon as he breaks away from Sotan’s hold, and, yes, he  _ does _ kind of hide behind him, but it’s only because he’s not in the mood for another noogie right now. “Would you guys at least let us get settled? Like, twenty minutes tops, I swear, a-and I’ll even do all the dishes after dinner! For the rest of the week!”

“For all the dishes, you’d earn yourself an hour,” Sen’s voice drawls from somewhere behind Sachi. Shuichi sighs and nods. He’d appreciate an hour. And he’s sure Gonta would appreciate an hour, too. “Alright, you heard the man. An hour to themselves, then you can sink your claws in. Go on, you two. Nice to meet you, Gonta.”

Gonta nods nervously, and it’s now him hiding behind Shuichi as he cuts through his siblings and heads down the hall to his bedroom. He passes his eldest brother’s son on the way and waves hello, but he’s not entirely sure his greeting’s seen over the tablet Seiho’s focused on at the moment. As soon as they’re in—Shuichi sets their bags on the bed—Shuichi closes the door behind them and sighs.

“Your family seem...nice,” Gonta offers, and Shuichi gives him a weak smile. Gonta takes a look around the room, which hasn’t been redecorated since Shuichi was about fourteen, and as a result, Shuichi goes a bit red in the face. It’s a little embarrassing; only Kaito and Kaede have seen his old room before, and he’d gotten his fair share of teasing about it from them. “Shuichi’s room so nice, too! Little dark, but it very cozy!”

“Thanks,” Shuichi says, settling down on the bed, and Gonta beams at him. It’s quiet for a while, and Shuichi feels like the silence is far too awkward. “I-I’m sorry again, about this whole thing, Gonta. I had no clue Kaito would call ahead. But if it makes you feel any better, Ma will probably tone down the dramatics soon. Pa’s probably up in his study ’til dinner, so don’t be surprised if there’s another setting at the table, just so you know.”

Nodding, Gonta sits down next to Shuichi on the bed, and Shuichi is immediately aware of the fact they’ll be sharing the bed. Just like last time. At least past Shuichi had managed to bug his folks enough to give him a queen mattress. “Your mother seem very sweet,” Gonta says, and at that, Shuichi lets out a dry snort. “Um, that...not right?”

Damn. “No, no, she’s...she is very sweet,” Shuichi tells him, and Gonta smiles, though much more unsure now than he had been a moment ago. “I just kinda don’t know her all that well. I mostly grew up around my uncle after I accidentally solved one of his cases. Ma and Pa aren’t exactly around a lot. They have a lot of free time now for my kid siblings, but when I was born, that’s sort of when they hit their big break, so...I went off to live with my uncle for a while, since they were overseas. They’d come back for vacations, but I usually opted for staying at my uncle’s house. They came back permanently when Saki was born. I was just...a few kids too early, I guess. A-Ah! Sorry, that was—it was kind of a lot, I-I didn’t mean to...yeah.”

“I-It okay! No worries,” Gonta says, though he certainly looks worried. He fidgets with the bottom of his suit jacket for a moment before undoing the buttons. Shuichi stands and silently offers to take it. Hesitantly, Gonta takes it off and hands it to him, and Shuichi hangs it in the closet. “Shuichi? You...like your siblings? H-How many are there?”

“Oh, I like them plenty when they’re not being total pains in the ass,” Shuichi says dryly, and Gonta stifles a laugh behind his hand. He looks amused, if not a bit curious, so Shuichi tries to list them off as best as he can. “Well, uh...there’s Sotan. He’s the oldest, and he’s married, so I’ve got a niece and a nephew—that’s Sachiko and Seiho. Then there’s Sachi, she’s the second oldest, and then Sen, who pretty much runs things around here—Ma is hopeless in the kitchen and Pa can’t clean up his study to save his life—and then me. After that, there’s Souta and Sozui, they’re twins, but Souta dyed his hair neon green because he got tired of Pa mixing them up. And then Seiko and Saki are the youngest, like, four years apart, I think.”

Gonta blinks, taking a second to think. His brow furrows, and his nose scrunches up, and Shuichi lets out a laugh. “There...seven brothers and sisters?” he asks, eyes wide, and Shuichi nods. He’s got mixed feelings about the amount of siblings he has, but he wouldn’t trade them for anything. Unless they ask, then he’s definitely going to ship them all off the first chance he gets. “Wow, Shuichi’s family really big! Gonta not have any siblings, but...Shuichi’s seem like they very nice.”

Humming, Shuichi gets to unpacking some of his stuff. “You can make yourself at home, if you’d like. I don’t mind sharing if you don’t,” he says, and Gonta nods, heading over to his own bag to start getting settled. Then, Sozui bursts through the door, plopping himself right in the middle of the bed. Gonta seems rather startled, but Shuichi just goes over to shove Sozui off. “Get  _ out _ of here, we were promised an hour without being bothered by you idiots.”

“What, do you want alone time so you guys can do gross stuff?” Sozui teases, sticking his tongue out. Shuichi’s efforts to push him off the bed increase tenfold, and Sozui groans, kicking up at Shuichi. “You only want me out of here so you can make out with your  _ boyfriend. _ You guys are gross! Bleh! The sin of premarital kissing is too much for my pure eyes to handle! Blasphemy, I say, ’tis blasphemy!”

And then he hits the floor, Shuichi catching his breath as Sozui flips him off from his place on the ground. “You wanna see blasphemy? I’ll show you blasphemy,” he shoots back, and Sozui sticks his tongue out again before pretending to gag. Gonta is standing bewildered in the corner of the room, hand frozen halfway outstretched towards his bag. Shuichi goes a bit red and he drags Sozui out of the room by his ear, closing the door and locking it this time once they’re alone again. “He’s…a piece of work. I’m sorry about all that.”

Gonta waves dismissively, though he still seems a little incredulous. “It okay, no worries. Um, Shuichi…?” he asks, and Shuichi glances over at him with a raised eyebrow. Gonta hums in thought for a moment, like he’s hesitant to say what’s on his mind. It’s a little worrying, but Shuichi’s sure he’ll talk about it eventually. “We...sharing bed again? N-Not that Gonta mind, not at all! Gonta just figured...if Shuichi want, Gonta can sleep on floor instead.”

“D-Don’t feel like you have to, I’m totally fine with sharing! U-Unless you’re not, then I’ll take the floor,” Shuichi says, his cheeks a bit pink, but as Gonta makes to argue, Shuichi lets out a little huff of a laugh. “We’re doing exactly what we did last time. And besides, my bed is a bit bigger, we should have enough room to ourselves this time.”

Seemingly reassured, Gonta nods and gets back to unpacking some of his stuff. He looks rather troubled, though, when he gets to his clothes. “I-Is what Gonta brought formal enough for dinner?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi blinks at him. Formal? In  _ this _ house? “Gonta just not wanna be rude, m-maybe Gonta should have brought fancier suit, Gonta so dumb—”

“No, no you’re not—! It’s fine, you don’t have to be formal at all, it’s...it’s just dinner,” Shuichi tells him with a weak smile. Gonta still looks confused, but he smiles back nonetheless. “Is...is dinner formal in  _ your _ house?” Gonta shrugs; it doesn’t seem like he wants to talk about it, so Shuichi lets it go in favor of a different topic. “I usually don’t eat much, but Sen’s cooking is definitely an exception. Her katsudon is really good, too! Since it’s your favorite, I’ll ask her to make it tomorrow or something. It’s the least I can do for putting you into another mess.”

At that, Gonta visibly relaxes. His expression is much more open than it had been since they’d gotten here. Shuichi likes that look on him; he hates knowing he’s a cause of negativity in Gonta’s mind. Gonta doesn’t deserve that. He’s been so patient and kind for this whole string of chaos, and it’s the least Shuichi can do to make him feel comfortable enough to be open about his feelings. The last thing Shuichi would want to do is make Gonta feel like he can’t talk to him, especially not when Shuichi’s the one who, arguably, should know when Gonta’s feeling uncomfortable.

“Yo, loser, open up,” Sen’s voice says from behind the door, and the knob jiggles a bit as she attempts to open it without knocking. Which, Shuichi thinks bitterly, he has told her to do an uncountable amount of times. “C’mon, I haven’t got all day, there’s crap in the oven and I wanna meet your boyfriend properly.”

Shuichi glances over at Gonta, and he nods, shaky smile ever-present on his face. So Shuichi gets up and unlocks the door, swinging it open to let Sen in. “So patient,” he grumbles, voice dripping with sarcasm as Sen rather unceremoniously plops herself down on the bed next to Gonta. “And let him be, won’t you? If there’s anybody you should be warning not to fuck this up, it’s me.”

He’s joking, but Gonta’s got an odd expression on his face—it’s one that Shuichi can’t quite read, which is unusual in itself. “Yeah, yeah, quit self-deprecating, you depressed prick,” Sen tells him flatly, and Shuichi rolls his eyes. She turns to Gonta, who still has that same look on his face, and she narrows her eyes. “You treatin’ my kid brother well?”

Now Gonta’s expression turns a bit fearful, despite the fact Sen is about a foot and a half shorter than him and the most damage she could do is some knee whacking at worst. “Y-Yes ma’am,” he says, and Sen blinks. After that moment of surprise, though, she nods.

“Didn’t think I’d get called ‘ma’am’ until I was Sotan’s age,” she jokes, and Shuichi chuckles from his place in the doorway. Sen eyes Gonta warily, but she gives him an approving smile soon enough. “You seem like a good kid. Even if Shu doesn’t want us looking out for him, it’s kind of our job. Don’t let the others get to you, though. And if they start up with the dramatics, you might as well indulge them.”

Gonta lets out a nervous little laugh, and Shuichi gives Sen an easy smile. She’s probably more like him than any of their other siblings; neither of them are really extroverted, so they’ve gotten along better together than with anyone else. Plus, their age gap doesn’t make it as hard for them to talk and bond as it is for Sotan or Saki, so it’s kind of nice.

“She’s not scary, I promise,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods, though he’s unusually quiet. Sen seems to glean that—Gonta’s usually an open book, even if he doesn’t mean to be—and she steps out of the room after giving Shuichi a brief look. “Hey, everything okay? I know I’m probably making things sound like a bigger deal than they are, but even if there’s a lot of them, my siblings are usually pretty okay with leaving people alone when they need it.”

“I-It not that, Gonta just...not wanna sound improper,” he says, fidgeting with his hands. “A-And since some of Shuichi’s siblings young, Gonta not wanna be...scary. Gonta know he seem very big and mean b-but Gonta not wanna scare anyone!”

“You’re the human embodiment of a teddy bear, Gonta, I don’t think anyone could be afraid of you after five minutes of talking with you,” Shuichi tells him, taking a seat next to him. For a moment, he wonders if it would be too much to put a hand on Gonta’s arm, just to comfort him, but he shoves down his doubt. Gonta needs affirmation more than Shuichi needs to indulge his anxiety right now. Gently laying his hand on Gonta’s arm, Shuichi looks up at him and smiles softly. “They’ll probably love you, Gonta. And if they say anything stupid about the way you talk, I’ll tell Sen to shut them up. The only people I think would actually do that are Souta and Sozui, but that’s less on the way you talk than it is on the fact they’re asshole teenage boys.”

Gonta beams down at him, and Shuichi lets go of his arm in favor of standing back up and stretching. “So Shuichi think his family not gonna mind the way Gonta talk?” he asks, and despite his smile, his voice sounds unusually small. Shuichi shakes his head, and Gonta nods, focusing his gaze on his hands. “R-Right. Okay! Gonta feel much less nervous now, thank you, Shuichi!”

There’s a weird, fluttering feeling in Shuichi’s chest, but before he can think about it, there are several voices calling the two of them to dinner.


	14. Big Bro Gonta

Well, Shuichi had been right. Everybody had loved Gonta the second he’d started talking. Sen had hit Souta upside the head when he’d started to make an idiotic comment about Gonta’s speech patterns at dinner, and the dinner had gone on without further incident, everyone asking questions about how Shuichi and Gonta had gotten together. It’s surprisingly easy to get swept up into the excitement, and for just a moment, Shuichi forgets that he and Gonta aren’t actually dating. It’s a little embarrassing, and he goes red and sputters when Seiko asks him what smooching feels like.

Gonta especially gets along with the little kids; Saki and Sachiko are  _ very _ partial to his piggyback rides, and it’s pretty amusing to watch Seiho try and mask his excitement that someone is as interested in creepy crawlies as he is. Seiko, Sachiko, and Saki invite Gonta to a tea party on the second day of their stay.

“Oh, and you can come too, I guess, Uncle Shu,” Sachiko adds, like he’s an afterthought. Shuichi blinks in surprise as she skips towards the door, and she turns back, tiny hands on her hips in an impossibly sassy manner. “It’s a  _ very _ important tea party. So make sure you dress up, m’kay? I don’t want Miss Fluffy Bear to see you like  _ that, _ Uncle Shu.”

“Well, alright then,” Shuichi says, absolutely flabbergasted as Seiko grabs Saki and Sachiko’s arms and leads them giggling out of the room. He turns to Gonta and shakes his head in disbelief. “They just told me I can’t bum it to their tea party. I can’t believe it!”

Gonta stifles a laugh behind his hand, and Shuichi puts a hand to his chest in dramatic fashion at the betrayal. “It an  _ important _ tea party, so Shuichi  _ have _ to dress up for it,” he says, brows raised. Shuichi chuckles and sighs as he flops down on the bed. Gonta peers down at him with an amused smile, and Shuichi reaches up to push Gonta’s glasses up his nose. “Th-Thanks. Um, Gonta not expect Shuichi’s family would like him so much.”

With a hum, Shuichi runs a hand through his hair, absentmindedly attempting to smooth down that stupid cowlick. “I told you they’d like you,” he says softly, and Gonta smiles, albeit a bit bashfully. “I just didn’t expect they’d like you  _ this _ much. After you saved her pie from getting burnt, I think you’re Ma’s favorite child.”

Bright red, Gonta stutters something incoherent, and Shuichi bites his lip to keep from laughing as he gives up halfway and lays down on his back next to Shuichi. “Gonta having really good time,” he says after a moment, and Shuichi looks over at him in surprise. “He was worried it be awkward to have to pretend again, but...it bad to say Gonta getting used to it by now?”

It’s a genuine question, and Shuichi doesn’t quite know the answer. “Dunno, but I’m glad you’re having fun here,” he says, and Gonta gives him one of those soft smiles that makes his entire face look open and vulnerable. It’s quiet for a blissful moment, and Shuichi sighs in contentment at the silence. Gonta’s eyes flit up to look at the ceiling. “It’s nice. Having someone to get away from everyone with, I mean.”

Gonta glances over at him again and hums. He sits up and starts to fix up his tie. When Shuichi gives him a questioning look, he shrugs. “They said it was very important tea party,” he says, as though that explains it perfectly. Shuichi gives him an easy grin and heads over to his bag. He hadn’t packed any button-ups or nice shirts, though. “Shuichi need to borrow something to wear? Gonta not mind, it just for a little while anyway, so…”

He offers up a crisp white shirt, and Shuichi takes it from him. Gonta turns away to give him some much-appreciated privacy, and Shuichi shrugs his shirt off to change. As he slides his arms into the sleeves of the shirt, he realizes just how much  _ bigger _ Gonta is than him. Shuichi’s fingertips barely make it to the edge of the cuffs, and the bottom hem of the shirt rests halfway down his thighs. He buttons it up and rolls the sleeves up, but in doing so, he catches a whiff of what smells like a subtle, flowery cologne mixed with a warm, sunny sort of scent. It’s nice, but realizing that the shirt probably just smells like what Gonta smells like makes Shuichi’s cheeks go bright red.

Gonta peeks over his shoulder and beams at Shuichi. “I, uh, think it’s a little big on me,” he says, and Gonta chuckles as he moves closer to help adjust the shirt. His hands come up to fix the collar of the shirt, and Shuichi feels his face flush. “You...wanna get going? I would rather not get yelled at by a bunch of little girls for being late to their tea party.”

Shoulders shaking with silent laughter, Gonta nods and holds the door open. They head down the hall, Shuichi leading the way to where he knows the three girls will be waiting in Seiko’s room. Sure enough, there they are, in little feather boas and tiaras, seated around the world’s tiniest table with comically small chairs.

Saki huffs at the sight of Shuichi and unwraps her boa, trying to jump up high enough to sling it around his shoulders. “You can’t just use Mr. Gonta’s clothes, that’s cheating! So now you have to be a princess like us,” she says, and Shuichi just nods along. Clearly, borrowing a nice shirt is a crime of the highest caliber, and the tea party rules  _ are _ rules, after all. “There. Much better.”

“Come ’n sit with us!” Seiko says, and Sachiko nods eagerly, pulling out the chair next to her and patting it. When Shuichi moves to take it, she pouts and shakes her head. Absolutely flabbergasted, Shuichi gestures for Gonta to take it. As he sits down, Shuichi has to stifle a laugh; Gonta’s knees are drawn to his chest, and he’s completely hunched over himself in the tiny chair. “Mr. Gonta gets his tea first since he came all dressed up!”

She pours some of what’s presumably water into a toy teacup and hands it to Gonta, who holds it like it’s the most precious teacup he’s ever held. Saki practically shoves Shuichi into the seat next to him, and Seiko hands him another toy teacup filled with water. He pretends to take a sip, and Sachiko tuts at him.

“Hold your pinky up,  _ stupid! _ Like Mr. Gonta’s doing, look!” Sachiko huffs, and sure enough, Gonta is pretending to take a sip of the ‘tea’ with his little finger extended. He’s hiding a smile, too, that traitorous bastard. Shuichi gives in and sticks his pinky out, giving Sachiko a very pointed look. “Much better, Uncle Shu.”

“Are you even allowed to say stupid?” he asks with a raised eyebrow, knowing very well she’s not, but she’d likely heard Seiho say it and is just parroting. Sachiko goes pink and turns very pointedly to Miss Fluffy Bear. Seiko snickers, and Saki glances between the four of them with a very confused expression. “So, girls, if I may ask, what exactly is the occasion of this oh-so-important tea party?”

Saki perks up at that, and she answers with a blinding smile, though one of her front teeth is missing. Shuichi wonders when that had happened. “It’s for Mr. Gonta! He’s our new big brother, right? Like Aya was our new big sister when Sotan brought her back home!” she chirps, and Shuichi goes a violent shade of red as he attempts to stutter out that that is most definitely  _ not _ the case. But Saki turns to Gonta with those big grey eyes of hers and tilts her head in that way little kids do, where it makes it  _ incredibly _ hard to tell them no. “Hey, can we drop the Mister? Since you’re just big bro Gonta now?”

Shuichi turns to mouth a silent apology to Gonta, but it dies on his tongue at the look on Gonta’s face. His eyes are wide with adoration, and he looks positively delighted as he gives the girls at the table a bright grin. “Yeah! That okay,” Gonta says, and he sounds absolutely breathless. The girls eagerly pour him a new cup of fake tea and offer up Miss Fluffy Bear, and Shuichi has no idea why his heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest at any second now.

Before he can explore the feeling too closely—a  _ dangerous _ feeling, the rational part of his brain tells him—Sotan and Souta peer in from the doorway. The girls start to make a big stink about it, protesting that they don’t want their tea party invaded by  _ icky _ boys, but Sotan silences them all with a Dad Glare.

“Hey, Gonta, we could use some extra muscle out on the deck, would you be willing to help us with putting up some beams?” Sotan asks, and Gonta nods, setting down the toy teacup and untucking his limbs as he stands from the tiny chair. Shuichi gives Sotan a questioning glance, but it’s taken more as indignance at not being included. “Oh, you can come too, Shu, we needed someone to hand us stuff anyway.”

And Shuichi  _ is _ glad that Gonta is getting along so well with his family, since if they hadn’t liked him, this whole break would be far more awkward than it already is, but this is the second time today he’s been added on as an afterthought. It’s more of a joking sort of slight, but it settles in a weird way in his stomach.

Well, with this sort of thing, it’s understandable. Shuichi’s never been much of a home improvement guy, and if anyone’s ‘extra muscle’ in this house, it’s definitely not him. He follows them out to the deck. Sure enough, there’s a section that’s visibly in need of some repairs, and Pa is holding up one of the support beams.

He looks relieved at their arrival, and he lets Souta take hold of it instead. “Great, I’m glad you boys are back. We gotta get that top section secure,” he says, and Gonta nods. He’s very obviously the tallest out of all of them by far, so it only takes the added height of a chair for him to reach the roof of the deck. He’s pretty quick at it, and soon enough, Gonta’s got the beam entirely secured. Pa pats Gonta’s shoulder once he gets off the chair. “Atta boy, you did one hell of a job there. Onto the next one, yeah?”

They move on to the next beam, and Shuichi is assigned the task of making sure every screw has been set, that they haven’t missed any, while the others make sure the beam stays stable as Gonta holds it in place and sets it. There’s about five beams, not counting the first, that need to be fixed, and by the time they get it done, Ma is calling them all in for dinner.

Well, Shuichi’s fairly sure it’s Sen’s cooking that she’s setting out in serving plates on the table, but it smells delicious regardless, so Shuichi settles down in one of the chairs, Gonta sliding into place next to him. Dinner is really nice; Sen had made katsudon, like Shuichi had asked her to, and Gonta has a look of wonder on his face as she sets the plate of cutlets down directly in front of him. There’s idle chatter as everyone digs in, and Shuichi tunes it out in favor of focusing on his plate and absolutely nothing else.

For some reason, just being outside had tired him out. It’s not like he’s out of shape, either, not with Kaito’s ridiculous ‘training’ schedule. It may just be his social battery draining too much from being around so many people constantly. Gonta seems to sense his tiredness, and he excuses himself from his conversation about centipedes with Seiho to check on Shuichi.

“You okay, Shuichi?” he asks quietly, and Shuichi gives him a weak smile as he nods. Gonta doesn’t need something else to worry about right now; Shuichi’s already given him so much hectic crap these past few months. Gonta doesn’t seem satisfied with Shuichi’s non-answer, though, and he hums softly, as if thinking about something. “You wanna sleep early? Gonta okay with that, he kinda tired anyways.”

“O-Oh, you really don’t have to do that, I don’t want you to miss out,” Shuichi tells him, quiet enough to evade most of the table’s prying ears. But Sachi raises an eyebrow at him, and Shuichi knows he’s been caught out. “I-I guess...I could do with going to bed early. But really, don’t worry about it, you can just come to bed whenever.”

Gonta frowns. “But if Gonta go to sleep later, Shuichi might get woken up by Gonta getting into bed,” he says, and Shuichi has to admit he has a point there. Shuichi isn’t exactly the heaviest sleeper. “And besides, maybe Shuichi can show Gonta another scary movie! That seem to help Shuichi sleep early on Halloween.”

The idea of falling asleep again with Gonta’s radiator of a body next to him makes Shuichi’s eyelids a little droopy, so he nods. He might as well agree to it. And he hadn’t even thought about the fact that while Shuichi was just walking around the beams to check them, Gonta had been doing the actual laborious stuff. He probably wants to sleep just as much, if not more than Shuichi. The fear of being an inconvenience to Gonta yet again fades from Shuichi’s mind, and he can focus on not passing out into his rice before dinner’s over.

The realization that he’ll have to do the dishes after dinner makes him want to sob, but thankfully, Sachi insists on doing them, refusing to let Shuichi even glance at the sink. Gonta and Shuichi bid their goodnights to the rest of Shuichi’s family, and Shuichi yanks off his shirt the second the door is closed to replace it with a cozy sweater. Gonta’s back is turned as he gets changed, so Shuichi peels off his skinny jeans to replace them with sweatpants in a very much mismatched color to his sweater.

Once Gonta is in his neat-looking button up pyjamas, Shuichi yanks his laptop over from the nightstand and settles down with it on the bed, gesturing for Gonta to come sit next to him under the covers. It’s a little odd that this is the second time he’s watching horror movies in bed with Gonta, when with Kaito, he’d only managed to convince him to sit through one all the way through.

It’s not as though Shuichi considers himself to be closer to Gonta than he is to Kaito or Kaede or, hell, even Maki, but being in a fake relationship for a few months  _ does _ make one a bit partial to the person in question, he supposes. And having to practice being affectionate makes it weirdly easy to settle into each other. Shuichi leans on Gonta’s shoulder as the movie starts to play, and Gonta leans his head atop Shuichi’s.

Of course, the easy, tired position they’re in is shaken up whenever Shuichi warns Gonta about a scare, since he uses Shuichi as a shield from the screen. But Shuichi is surprisingly still conscious at halfway through the movie; he hadn’t thought he’d make it an hour in, but here he is, eyes half-lidded as he rolls them at the girl going to investigate the terrifying noise that had just crackled over the speakers. By now, all Shuichi has to do is tap twice on Gonta’s arm to prepare him for a scare. He’s a bit too tired to get any words out, and thankfully, Gonta knows what the little gesture means.

Shuichi’s not exactly about to complain about Gonta huddling up to him, too. He’s very cozy, and Shuichi finds himself drifting off a bit in his arms. Evidently, Gonta notices, because he clicks on the pause button. “Mmh...I’m awake, s’okay, you can keep the movie on,” Shuichi mumbles, but Gonta looks skeptical as he gently shuts the laptop and moves it to the nightstand beside Shuichi. That’s fair. Shuichi rolls to his side of the bed and hums in thanks as Gonta turns off the lamp. “G’night, Gonta.”

If Gonta wishes him a good night back, Shuichi’s not awake to hear it. He’s already conked out, legs shifting under the bedspread as Gonta settles into his side of the bed. Shuichi doesn’t usually dream, and if he does, he never remembers them for more than ten seconds after he’s woken up. His sleep is usually blank, nothingness. Nothing of note.

But for just a moment, his subconscious gives him a glimpse back at Halloween night. Just a glance at what it would have been like had the party not ended when it had. And Shuichi won’t remember the non-memory of dancing with Gonta in the morning, nor will his subconscious pick the idea up again.

The images don’t last more than a few seconds, but there’s a soft smile present on Shuichi’s sleeping face as he turns on his side, away from Gonta and towards the window. The curtains let slivers of moonlight peek into the room; it’s not enough to wake or disturb either of them as they sleep, but it does dance across the floorboards as the door creaks open.

At that, Shuichi wakes almost immediately. In his sleepy haze, he vaguely recognizes Saki’s face, and his brows furrow as he rubs the tiredness from his eyes. “What’re you doing up?” he asks, careful to keep his voice quiet so as not to disturb Gonta. Thankfully, he still seems to be asleep, if the steady rise and fall of the bedspread covering his broad shoulders is anything to go by. Saki doesn’t answer, instead coming to stand at the edge of the bed. “You better not have gotten that weird sleepwalking thing that Souta used to have.”

“N-No,” Saki answers quietly, brushing her long hair away from her face with her whole palm rather than with her fingertips. Shuichi’s still half-asleep, vaguely aware of the way his sweater hangs off his shoulder as moonlight pools in the dip between his collarbone and the top of his shoulder. “I...had a bad dream. Can I come ’n sleep with you?”

Any tired, sarcastic remarks scatter from Shuichi’s mind. He realizes he’ll probably have to wake Gonta up to see if he’s okay with them cuddling up for the night so Saki can stay here. Gently, he shakes Gonta’s shoulder, and Gonta grunts in acknowledgement; it’s a sound that Shuichi might have found funny if this had happened at any other time than what vaguely looks like two in the morning on his abandoned alarm clock.

“You okay to snuggle up for the night?” Shuichi asks him, softly enough that he’s confident Saki hadn’t heard him. At his inquiry, Gonta looks slightly more awake. He turns over his shoulder to peer at Shuichi, eyes barely open and brows knitted. “Saki had a bad dream. Are you alright if she stays here for tonight?”

Gonta looks up at Shuichi as though he’s crazy for even asking, and he offers up his arms for Shuichi to settle into. Shuichi gestures for Saki to take what had previously been his side of the bed, and she crawls up onto the mattress. Shuichi puts the blanket over her before turning to Gonta and pressing himself into his side.

Both of Gonta’s arms settle around his waist, and Shuichi lays his head against Gonta’s chest, his own arms coming to rest across Gonta’s torso. Their legs intertwine, but Shuichi doesn’t have the energy to overthink it at the moment. Instead, his brain opts to make him chuckle quietly at a soft snore that escapes Gonta as he falls back asleep. Shuichi glances over his shoulder at Saki, who seems to still be a bit unsettled.

“Um...Shu? Can I tell you about my bad dream?” she asks, still very quiet, and Shuichi feels as though he should applaud her volume control later. He nods, and it’s kind of straining to crane his neck for so long, but he’d rather avoid disturbing Gonta. He doesn’t even know if Saki wants Gonta to know about the dream, too, so it’s better safe than sorry. “I had a dream where, um...I think...everybody got all mad at each other, a-and you said you were never gonna come back home ever.”

Shuichi tuts, and this time he does twist slightly in Gonta’s grasp to reach out and ruffle her hair before going back to his original position. “I’ll always come back home, Saki, you don’t have to worry about all that,” he tells her, and she nods, though she still looks unconvinced. “Is there something else bothering you?”

She nods, but she stays quiet for a while. Shuichi can feel sleep starting to creep back into him, but he’s determined to stay awake for long enough to help her out. “Are you, um, happy? With him?” she asks, looking over at Gonta. Shuichi’s honestly taken a bit aback at the question. He hadn’t thought a seven year old would be asking about his fake relationship anytime soon. “I just think that sometimes you smile different when you’re with him, that’s all. I didn’t know if it was a good different or a bad one.”

Jesus.  _ That’s _ something for future Shuichi to digest and fret over. “It’s good, I think,” he says, though he’s honestly unsure himself. There are definitely soft smiles he reserves for Gonta, most of them pertaining to comforting him when their ‘relationship’ is brought up, and there are times where his smile is laced with guilt—for putting Gonta in this position in the first place, for not having enough of a spine to have put a stop to it at the beginning. But most of the time, his smiles are genuine. “Yeah. They’re good different.”

Saki seems satisfied with that, and she settles in properly to go to sleep, those big grey eyes closing and her breathing steadying. Shuichi moves to get comfortable in Gonta’s arms, but he wakes him with the movement. “Everything okay?” he asks, his voice a quiet, rough rumble as his eyes flicker open just the tiniest bit. Shuichi nods and gestures to the sleeping kiddo next to them. “She feel better?”

Shuichi nods again, and a particularly bright beam of moonlight falls across Gonta’s face. It’s odd, really. Shuichi’s never been close enough to Gonta’s face long enough to really  _ look _ at him, at his features. “You have freckles,” he notes, more like a statement than a question as his eyes trace over Gonta’s cheekbones. They’re like tiny, dark stars, dotting right under Gonta’s eyes and across the bridge of his nose, spreading over his cheeks. Gonta smiles gently, tiredly at him. “I never noticed that before. They suit you, y’know.”

“Thank you,” Gonta murmurs, and Shuichi slowly closes his eyes as he hums. He settles into Gonta’s hold on him, hands fiddling idly with the fabric of Gonta’s pyjama shirt. “Shuichi look tired. If he wanna sleep in, that fine.”

Shuichi doesn’t respond. The smell of a subtle, flowery cologne mixed with a warm, sunny sort of scent swirls around him as he drifts off for the second time that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I forgot to post a chapter yesterday!!! I'm posting two today to make up for it though!! :D


	15. The Cain Instinct

“But  _ your _ room has the good internet, you jackass!” Sozui huffs, and Shuichi rolls his eyes as he attempts to shut the door in his little brother’s face. Obviously, it doesn’t work, given that Sozui is haughtily making his way over to Shuichi’s bed to set himself down like the smug little bastard he is. “This wouldn’t have happened if you let me and Souta have the router in  _ our _ room, y’know.”

Shuichi makes to shove him off the bed, but Sozui persists, and their weird half-hearted shoving match is currently being spectated by a very amused Gonta, who is simply trying to read what looks like an unnecessary amount of information about bugs he probably already has encyclopedic knowledge on. Shuichi clambers on the bed to get a better angle to shove Sozui off, but Sozui ends up kneeing him hard enough in the ribs that Shuichi tumbles back onto Gonta.

“S-Sorry,” he says, cheeks red. Getting permission to be affectionate is one thing—it’s not nearly as flustering to kiss someone in front of other people when you’ve worked out all the weird issues beforehand—but practically sitting in Gonta’s lap isn’t exactly on Shuichi’s to-do list, thanks very much. Gonta shrugs, as though it doesn’t bother him in the slightest. “Sozui, I swear to God, if you don’t get  _ out _ of my  _ room, _ I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” Sozui says with a cheshire grin, and Shuichi kicks at him. Dramatically, Sozui clutches at his side where Shuichi’s foot had  _ lightly _ tapped him, dammit, and he tosses his head back. “Oh, save me! Save me! The horror! You’re a monster, Shu! Do something, big bro Gonta, save me from my own flesh and blood!”

At that, Gonta looks up, absolutely bewildered. Sozui grins at him and winks before continuing his absolute shenanigans, and Shuichi rolls his eyes. “Ignore him, for everyone’s sakes,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods slowly, gaze flickering between Sozui and Shuichi. “He’s just...being a prick.”

“Oh, how you wound me with your words,” Sozui says flatly, already having given up the charade in favor of scrolling through his phone. Shuichi gives him one last shove before giving up as well and moving to sit next to him. “Ew, get out of my space.”

He elbows Shuichi, and Shuichi glares at him. “You’re in  _ my _ room,” he points out dryly, and Sozui sticks his tongue out. He starfishes out, limbs falling across the pillows, Shuichi’s legs, and over half of the entire bed. Shuichi starts his efforts of shoving him off the bed back up. “Okay, no.  _ Out, _ Sozui. You’re being a douche, get out.”

Now Gonta looks nervous rather than amused, and Shuichi supposes something in his tone must have shifted. But Sozui doesn’t seem to care, smugly spreading his stupid self out more on the bed. “What’s that? I thought I heard something,” he says, and Shuichi feels the Cain instinct coming on. “Must’ve been a fly. Hm. Maybe the cat.”

“We don’t  _ have _ a cat, dumbass,” Shuichi grumbles, grabbing a pillow and smacking Sozui over the head with it. Sozui blows a raspberry at him, and Shuichi shoves him again. But it’s very obvious he’s not going to budge, so Shuichi turns to his last resort. “D’you trust me?” he whispers, and Gonta nods, though he looks very wary. Fair enough, Shuichi supposes. “Oh, well, I guess you’ll have to deal with us being as icky and lovey dovey as Aya and Sotan…”

Sozui’s eyes go wide, and he actually diverts all of his attention from his phone to the two of them. “You wouldn’t,” he murmurs, absolutely scandalized. Shuichi reaches towards Gonta’s hand with raised brows. “You  _ wouldn’t, _ Shu.”

“You have three seconds to leave this room,” Shuichi says, holding up his other hand and counting down. Sozui shakes his head slowly, eyes the size of dinner plates now. As he counts down, he can see Sozui run through the pros and cons in his head—he can practically hear the gears turning in his brain as he debates whether a stable internet connection is worth having to watch all that ‘couple-y stuff’ he claims to despise. “Time’s up, Sozui.”

Shuichi practically pounces on Gonta and kisses him, and Sozui loudly pretends to gag behind them. Gonta’s stifling a laugh as best as he can, but eventually, it just ends up with the two of them grinning against each other’s mouths as Sozui fake-retches his way out of the room and into the hallway. And of course he hadn’t had the decency to close the door behind him.

Getting up to do so himself, Shuichi allows himself a moment to be smug. “That was mean, just a little bit,” Gonta says, though he’s very obviously trying not to grin. Shuichi gestures to the now-empty and mercifully silent room, and Gonta shrugs. “Okay, it  _ kinda _ funny.”

“Aya and Sotan do that all the time when they want the younger kids to leave them alone, especially my brothers,” Shuichi explains as he sits back down next to Gonta on the bed and opens up his laptop. “They’re at that age where they think anything romantic is icky. I’m pretty sure Seiko and Seiho still believe in cooties.”

Speak of the devil, Sotan is knocking on his door and coming in before Shuichi can even respond. Lovely. “Hey, we’re gonna set up some game stuff outside for after dinner. Sen’s cooking early so we can have enough time before the little ones have to head off to bed,” he says, and Shuichi hums for him to continue. “You guys wanna help us out? We could really use some extra pairs of hands to set up horseshoes and darts.”

“You’re letting the kids play darts?” Shuichi asks, but he gets up anyway, leaving his poor laptop discarded on the bed. Gonta moves to stand too. Sotan waves a foam dart in his hand, and Shuichi nods. That makes much more sense. “I mean, I’m not doing anything important right now. How much stuff do you guys have set up already?”

Sotan gestures for them to follow him out back. The deck looks much better than it had the other day; the new beams are much nicer than the old ones, they’d really done a good job. Pa and Souta are setting up some beanbag tosses, and Seiko, Saki, and Sachiko are playing over in the little sandbox, making castles or potions or whatever other possibility a bunch of added sticks and leaves could create. Sozui flips Shuichi off from behind his phone after making sure none of the younger kids are watching.

“You guys wanna grab a beer or something? You’re old enough for that, right?” Sotan doubles back, and Shuichi sighs fondly. They head over to the cooler, but Shuichi opts for a bottle of water instead of the beer. Gonta goes for the same thing, and Sotan raises an eyebrow. “I would’ve guessed you were a beer kind of guy. Huh.”

Nudging Sotan in the ribs, Shuichi decides to change the subject. He doesn’t know if this is a touchy subject for Gonta, nor does he want Gonta to feel compelled to drink. “You’re the only poor soul that likes that stuff, So,” he quips, and Sotan ruffles his hair. Huffing, Shuichi attempts to smooth it down again as he ducks out of Sotan’s grasp, only to feel that stupid cowlick sticking up even more than it usually does. “Aw, man, it took  _ forever _ to get that stupid piece of hair in a decent place…”

Then, there’s a hand in his hair that’s not his  _ or _ Sotan’s and Shuichi peers up at Gonta out of the corner of his eye. Gonta looks oddly concentrated, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth as his fingers comb through Shuichi’s hair. “A-Ah, sorry! Gonta just...um, trying to help,” he mumbles as his eyes meet Shuichi’s, and he pulls his hand back as though it’s been burnt. Sotan chuckles at the two of them and leaves them to their own devices as he heads over to help Pa and Souta with the beanbag stuff. “Sorry...if that...made Shuichi uncomfy at all. Gonta not mean to if he did, promise!”

Gently patting Gonta’s arm to reassure him as he takes a sip of water, Shuichi turns to look through the kitchen window at Sen trying—and failing—to teach Ma how to properly chop vegetables, and Sachi laughing at them. Gonta follows his gaze and stifles a laugh behind his hand, the corners of his eyes crinkling up just a bit.

Idly, Shuichi wonders whether it’d be weird to point out how nice Gonta looks when he laughs, but he figures he’d do the same for any of his other friends, so there’s no harm in it. “You have a really nice laugh, Gonta,” he says, and Gonta goes a bit red. “It’s a shame you cover up your mouth whenever you’re laughing, though. You have a great smile, too.”

Gonta’s breath hitches for just a moment. “Th-Thank you, Shuichi,” Gonta says, much more quietly than Shuichi had been anticipating, and Shuichi nods, giving his arm a squeeze before heading into the kitchen to get a start on the dishes. To his surprise, Gonta follows right behind him, readying the little dishtowel they use to dry their dinnerware as Shuichi reaches the sink and turns the faucet on. “Gonta feel like he should help with dishes! Since Shuichi only made promise to let Gonta have time to, um, get settled.”

He appreciates that, but he definitely doesn’t appreciate Ma’s wink and nudge as he gets started on the first pot that Sen had evidently used for the most residue-inducing dish in the history of ever. “What a gentleman, he’s definitely a keeper,” Ma teases, and Shuichi makes to joke right back, but Gonta positively lights up, so he bites his tongue.

“Yeah, he’s the best gentleman,” Shuichi says easily, and Gonta’s reaction is definitely worth the cooing from his sisters. He’s like the sun personified, absolutely beaming and delighted to get what is very obviously high praise in his eyes. A complete ray of happiness and warmth. If this atmosphere appears every time Gonta gets a meaningful compliment, Shuichi feels like he should definitely compliment him more.

Everyone in the kitchen is smiling and at ease, and Gonta is practically radiating light as he not only helps Shuichi dry the dishes, but helps fix up Sachi’s blend of chamomile and adds a few—apparently very good—spices to the beef Sen is teaching Ma how to cook. “Oh, not that herb, that make everything too bitter unless you mix it with this one, but that not taste good with beef,” Gonta warns as Ma dangerously eyes a container of dried-out leaves.

Sen looks beyond relieved, and Shuichi can’t help but feel some sort of way about Gonta getting on so well with his family. Sure, Ma and Pa adore Kaito, and his little sisters are  _ very _ partial towards Kaede, and hell, his brothers are intimidated by and impressed with Maki, but everybody just...loves Gonta. Wholeheartedly.

Which is probably why Shuichi makes what feels like the worst mistake of his entire life.

“Hey, babe, I’ve got another pan ready to be dried whenever you’ve got a sec,” he says as the screen door to the deck busts open, and it feels like everything freezes at once. The spoon Ma is taste-testing the sauce with stops halfway to her mouth, Sen’s eyes go wide as her attention drifts from the beef to Shuichi, and Sachi’s laugh gets cut off as soon as he’s done talking. Not to mention the twin idiots standing in the doorway. “No, wait, hang on, I—”

“Hey  _ babe,” _ Sozui starts, and now Sotan’s by the door, and everyone in the kitchen is stifling a laugh, save for Gonta, who looks extremely confused, “you doin’ the dishes?”

“Yeah, babe, do you have room in the sink for another pan?” Sen asks in a flat voice, that absolute traitor, Shuichi should be safe in his own goddamned kitchen—

“Come on, babe, what’s with the long face?” Sotan calls from the deck, and Shuichi would like nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole now.

“Don’t embarrass him too much,” Ma tuts, and Shuichi lets himself be relieved for just a brief flicker of a moment. A mistake, truly. A devilish grin spreads across her face. “I’d hate for you to be upset, babe.”

“I hate all of you,” Shuichi grits out, cheeks past red now. Gonta still looks very confused, and oh, how Shuichi wishes he could have that blissful confusion. “This is worse than the time Sotan called Aya  _ honey bear. _ Let’s rehash that instead of piling on my shame, shall we?”

Sotan shakes his head. “No, we won’t. At least honey bear is creative. You picked the most basic term of endearment there is,” he says, mock disappointment lacing his tone. Gonta’s starting to get it now, and his cheeks flush. “Let’s all see what names  _ we _ can bring to the table, since Shu here is very much lacking in creativity, hm?”

The absolute  _ horror. _ “Let’s not and say we didn’t,” Shuichi warns, discarding his post at the sink in favor of taking hold of Gonta’s wrist and leading him out of the kitchen. Calls of ‘Come back, babe!’ follow them until the door to Shuichi’s room is closed. He lets out a sigh and tries his hardest to rub the red out of his cheeks. “God, I am...so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to—oh my  _ God, _ Gonta, I am so sorry.”

Gonta still seems a bit confused, but he waves off Shuichi’s apology nonetheless. It’s just as easy to get his forgiveness for what is probably one of the most embarrassing moments of Shuichi’s life as it is for accidentally using his mug at the dorms. “Is no big deal, no worries,” Gonta tells him, and Shuichi nods, grateful once again that it’s Gonta he’s stuck in this mess with instead of someone else. “Um, Shuichi…? Why you call Gonta that, though? I-It okay if you not wanna answer! Gonta just figure it okay to ask, b-but if not, that fine too!”

“Oh, I, uh…” Shuichi trails off. He doesn’t have an actual answer for Gonta. But thankfully, his mottled brain provides him with one, so he decides this must have been his subconscious’s justification for the damn thing in the first place. “I just thought that it might seem more, ah, casual…? Like we weren’t being super formal about ‘dating,’ I guess. It definitely backfired, though, that’s for sure.”

Laughing nervously, Gonta scratches the back of his neck. “Um, y-yeah…” he mumbles, and his eyes are trained on the floor. Damn. Shuichi hadn’t even considered whether it had made Gonta uncomfortable until now. For all he knows, Gonta could have hated it. “I-If Shuichi wanna...use that name again, Gonta fine with that. I-It does seem...couple-y.”

Shuichi’s face goes hot, and he nods, mentally smacking himself in the face when he realizes Gonta’s still not looking at him. “R-Right, yeah, okay, that’s...I’ll do that,” he says, a little too quietly. The urge to break the tension with something stupid is very much egging at him. “I’m pretty sure no one here’s gonna let that go anytime soon, anyway. I know my brothers definitely won’t, so...yeah.”

Definitely stupid, but definitely not funny. Yikes. But while Shuichi’s cringing, Gonta’s giving him a soft smile. At least one of them appreciates the awkward attempt at a witty remark. He settles down on the bed and rubs at the back of his neck with both hands; Shuichi’s feeling unusually tense, and it’s starting to give him a headache. Gonta seems to notice, and he slides closer to Shuichi, eyes roaming the slope of his neck and shoulders.

“S-Sorry, Shuichi just look very tense,” he says when Shuichi gives him a questioning look, and the redness in his cheeks makes his freckles stand out a little more than usual. Gonta’s got that expression on his face that Shuichi’s learned to recognize as him wanting to ask a question but being unsure of whether it’s okay. “Um...if Shuichi want, Gonta can help work out knots in muscle! Gonta learn lots about massages after he come back from living in forest, s-so if Shuichi want, he can help!”

That’s a little surprising, but Shuichi’s not about to pass up an opportunity to be less tense. And yeah, it’s a tad embarrassing when Gonta’s hands start kneading the muscle in his shoulders, but it feels almost ridiculously good. Shuichi hums, tilting his head to let Gonta have better access to the tension points in his neck.

He’d definitely been downplaying how nice the massage would be, too, given that Shuichi’s feeling completely at ease not even five minutes in. There’s a particularly bad knot in his back, of which he’s only aware of because Maki had made a comment about it after Kaito had directed her to sit on Shuichi’s back for a set of pushups. He kind of wants to bring it up, but there’s probably an unspoken boundary between shoulder massages and back massages, so he keeps his mouth shut.

Gonta seems satisfied with his handiwork after another few minutes, and Shuichi laments the loss of his touch. “Dinner’s probably going to be done soon,” Shuichi says, turning to face Gonta again, and his eyes go wide when he realizes Gonta hasn’t moved away at all. Their noses are almost touching, and Shuichi’s breath catches in his throat.

Thankfully, the tension is broken by Souta’s sudden presence in the room. “Ew, quit making out and come sit down for dinner,” he groans, and Shuichi goes red as he stands from the bed, rolling his shoulders absentmindedly. Gonta follows him out into the hall, and they settle down at the dinner table with everyone else. “They were being gross, Ma, I think you should take his door off.”

Shuichi shoves him,  _ very _ harshly, and now his face is even  _ more _ red than it had just been. It seems that Gonta doesn’t entirely realize what Souta had meant, but he does seem a little embarrassed. “Would you quit annoying your brother?” Ma tuts at Souta, and Shuichi gives her a grateful smile. However, it’s quickly replaced with mortification at what she says next. “They’re young adults, we should expect th—”

“No! You should  _ not!” _ Shuichi says, face now redder than the beets on his plate. Sotan and Sen are snickering, and Sachi gives him a sympathetic look. Souta makes to start with another asshole remark, but Shuichi cuts him off. “Hey! What are we doing after dinner?”

“I’m definitely demanding a rematch with you at horseshoes before you have to leave for work tomorrow,” Aya says, her statement directed at Sachi, who grins mischievously. Sotan claps his wife on the back and laughs. Aya glances towards Gonta, and he gets wide-eyed at the sudden attention on him. “Us in-laws gotta stick together, right? You wanna be on my team?”

A little dumbfounded, Gonta nods, and Aya sticks her tongue out at Sotan. “Alright, alright, but I want Mr. Physics on  _ our _ team,” Sachi huffs, pulling Sozui towards her. He grumbles something under his breath and Shuichi snorts. “And don’t think you’re getting away from my team either, Pa! We’re gonna kick their asses.”

“Language,” Ma warns, covering Sachiko’s ears, and Sachi tosses her hands up in surrender. Sen shakes her head and hands Seiko another bread roll. “And your father will  _ not _ be taking part in horseshoes, his back is too bad for that, especially since he just worked on the deck. You’ll have to settle for one of your siblings.”

Betrayed, Sachi clutches at imaginary pearls, and Shuichi snickers. Her gaze settles on him immediately, and she’s got that competitive glint in her eyes that he absolutely hates. “Fine, then I’ll take Shu!” she huffs, crossing her arms under her chest triumphantly. Shuichi shakes his head, and Sachi gawks at him. “Oh, come  _ on! _ You’re not going to join Aya’s team, are you? You, sir, are a  _ traitor.” _

“I’m not joining any teams,” Shuichi tells her, an eyebrow raised. “But I  _ will _ be actively rooting against you. Just so you know.”

Sachi scowls at him.

*****

The horseshoe game ends with Aya’s team coming out on top. Of course, with Gonta and Sotan on her team, it wasn’t exactly hard to win against Sachi and the twins. Sachi’s still pouting about it when Ma brings out supplies for s’mores, but she brightens up at the smell of chocolate, at the very least. Pa and Sen set up the firepit, and the younger kids are corralled by Sotan, who’s in charge of making sure no tiny fingers get burnt tonight.

With the clear night sky and crickets chirping, everyone settles in by the fire. It’s miraculously quiet, probably because everyone’s a bit tuckered out from messing around in the yard right after dinner, but the quiet is nice nonetheless. Sotan and Aya are cuddled up together in one chair, and Ma and Pa are on the bench swing, hands intertwined. Idly, Shuichi wonders if he should get closer to Gonta, but he’s entertaining the kids right now with a firefly in the palm of his hand, so he decides not to interrupt.

And then the peaceful atmosphere is ruined. “Hey,  _ babe, _ you want another s’more?” Sachi asks, waving a cracker at him. Shuichi kicks her chair. “Okay, okay, I get it, no more s’mores for you, grumpy. Jeez.”

Sotan turns to Aya with a grin and slings his arm around her shoulders. “How’s your s’more tasting,  _ babe?” _ he asks with a pointed look at Shuichi. He is very unamused. This joke of theirs should have died in the kitchen, dammit.

“I’m going to bed,” Shuichi sighs, and Gonta glances over his shoulder at him. He looks worried, but it’s honestly not a big deal. Shuich’s just a little tired of the bit, it’s nothing too bad. And to alleviate his worries, Shuichi decides to play into it. “You coming, babe?”

Okay, so it’s  _ kind _ of funny. But only when he’s doing it.

Gonta’s face flushes a bit, though it’s hard to tell with the glow of the fire, and he nods, handing the firefly off to Seiho, who decides that rather than being pleasant about it, he’s going to terrorize the girls. A bit troubled, Gonta pouts at them, and Seiho actually looks apologetic about it as he lets Saki hold the firefly. Huh.

They head back to Shuichi’s room in relative silence. The only thing that breaks it is Gonta’s quiet humming of a song Shuichi doesn’t recognize. He makes a mental note to ask about Gonta’s taste in music later. They settle into the bed, but with that smell of flowery cologne and warmth, there’s something else mixed into it.

“Shuichi okay?” Gonta asks as Shuichi shuts off the lamp. Shuichi nods, but his brow is still furrowed as they both shift to get comfortable. What  _ is _ it? It’s going to drive him crazy, the name of the scent is on the tip of his tongue. “Something bother you? You need Gonta to move away a little bit further?”

“No, no, you’re fine, don’t worry about it,” Shuichi tells him, still trying to figure out what exactly it is that he’s smelling. It’s not unpleasant, either, just a nice, earthy scent and it’s really bugging him that he can’t figure out what to call it. For all he knows, it could be coming from him. Then, he gets it. “Pine! Pine and smoke,  _ that’s _ what it is!” Gonta tilts his head in confusion, that way he always does, and Shuichi’s face flushes. “Oh, I just—it sort of smelled like, uh...I was trying to figure out what I was, ah, smelling, and it was pine and smoke. P-Probably from the firepit, it was just kinda bugging me.”

Gonta hums, and he turns to face away from Shuichi. For some reason, Shuichi kind of wants to ask him to turn back around.


	16. What To Do When Your Super Hot Fake Boyfriend Has Never Seen A Disney Movie Before

“What do you  _ mean _ you’ve never seen a Disney movie?!”

Practically everyone in the lounge has their gaze trained on Gonta, who looks remarkably oblivious as to the entire chunk of cinema culture he has yet to be exposed to. But so much attention on him seems to be making him a little anxious, so Shuichi gently sets a hand on his arm and gives him a small smile. Hopefully that’s reassuring enough.

Gonta just shrugs. “Just...haven’t seen one,” he says, and Shuichi’s brow furrows. It’s quiet for another moment, but then Gonta throws another curveball at them. “Um, but...if it okay to ask...what ‘Disney’ mean?”

Okay, now  _ that _ is just ridiculous. Shuichi gives him a bewildered stare, and Gonta looks helpless as everyone gets up in arms about his lack of knowledge of what is essentially a media monopoly. “Okay, so we’re having movie night tonight,” Shuichi says decisively, and though it’s their last night here, this is definitely the best thing they could be doing with their time. To have never seen a Disney princess in action is practically a crime. “Sotan, Sozui, Souta, go get the girls and start making a good marathon list. Sen, you come with me and Gonta to go make some snacks.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Sen says, rolling her eyes good naturedly as Shuichi takes Gonta’s arm and leads him into the kitchen. While Shuichi starts rummaging through the pantry, she eyes Gonta up and down. “So you’re telling me you’ve  _ never _ seen a Disney film. Not even Cinderella? Snow White? Sleeping Beauty? Those are movies everybody’s seen a version of as a kid.”

Gonta just shakes his head. Shuichi grabs the entire box of microwave popcorn, amongst various ingredients for cookies—because the inevitable sugar rush will send the kids crashing to bed when they want to be free of them—and sets them all down on the counter. Sen gets to work taking out a mixing bowl, and Gonta looks like he very much wants to help, but he doesn’t know how to.

Shuichi beckons him over to the microwave. “Just hit a minute thirty every time a bag is done, we’re going to need a hell of a lot of popcorn to feed everybody,” he explains as he sets up the first one. Gonta nods, and he starts counting through the individually wrapped bags in the box as Shuichi heads over to help Sen with the cookies. As she hands him the wet ingredients to mix, Shuichi glances in Gonta’s direction. “So, um...is the no Disney stuff a forest thing or a parents thing? N-Not that you have to answer if you don’t want to, I’m just curious.”

At that, Gonta takes a pause to think. Then, he simply shrugs and turns back to the popcorn as the microwave beeps. “Dunno. Maybe both,” he ponders, setting up the next bag and leaning against the counter. Shuichi preheats the oven. “But...it really that big a deal? Gonta never even heard of it before.”

“It’s basically the stuff we grew up on,” Sen answers him before Shuichi can say anything. And, yeah, he supposes that’s true. “Pa struck gold with one of the execs up at their headquarters, and he did some writing for them. So we ended up with a pretty Disney-fied childhood. Whenever Ma and Pa would come home from working overseas, they’d take us to Disneyland Tokyo, unless we didn’t want to go.”

Shuichi looks away at that. Sen’s never been one to pry  _ too _ much, but he’d rather not rehash old issues right now. “Yeah, hearing Ma in a movie was pretty surreal the first couple of times,” he says instead of responding to what Sen had subtly jabbed at him. Gonta’s eyes go wide, and he nods, seemingly eager to hear more. “After the first few times, you sort of get used to it. It was weird when we saw her in a live-action movie, though.”

A snort from Sen makes Shuichi relax a little. “Oh, and this one knows  _ all _ the songs, too,” she teases, reaching over to ruffle his hair. Sen turns to Gonta with a self-satisfied grin. “Just you wait, the little ones will be begging him to do a sing-along.”

At that, Shuichi’s cheeks flush red, and Sen smirks at him as she gets to whisking the dry ingredients for the cookie dough. Gonta’s gaze lands somewhere above Shuichi’s eyes, and Shuichi can’t help but wonder what he’s looking at as he crosses over the kitchen to stand in front of him.

Then, Gonta’s fingers are carding through his hair, and some white puffs of flour dust hits the corners of Shuichi’s vision. “Shuichi kinda look like he did when we made bread,” Gonta notes, smoothing down the hair he’d just displaced. Shuichi smiles fondly at the memory. That was honestly a pretty good time, if not slightly tarnished by the fact they’d been forced into this whole fake dating thing for a while longer right after.

“That whole vacation was an experience and a half,” Shuichi says as Gonta moves back over to his post at the microwave. Sen gives him a questioning look, and Shuichi wonders whether it’s worth it to explain that entire debacle. “For my birthday, a bunch of our friends got together and chipped in to give the two of us a vacation. It was really nice, even if some of the stuff they planned was kind of weird.”

Chuckling quietly, Gonta nods as he sets some more—is this the fourth or fifth bag?—popcorn in the microwave. “A romantic getaway for your birthday, huh?” Sen teases, and Shuichi rolls his eyes, nudging her in the ribs as his cheeks go red. “Sounds like a lot of fun. Was it your gift to him too, Gonta, or did you get him something else?”

“Gonta got lots of things for Shuichi!” Gonta chirps, a big smile on his face. Shuichi still feels guilty for letting him buy anything on that trip. “Well, Shuichi pick them out, but Gonta help pay! It nothing, though, not really. Trip much better gift.”

“Gonta, you almost bought me headphones that cost  _ ten thousand yen. _ And the things you actually did end up buying for me weren’t nothing. That jacket is by far my favorite out of all the ones I own, so...thank you again,” Shuichi tells him, and Gonta flushes red as he smiles and turns away. It’s honestly kind of funny seeing him so bashful. “Ah, Sen, careful, you’re gonna put in too much vanilla.”

Sen tuts. “No such thing as too much vanilla, little brother,” she tells him with the air of someone not very wise attempting to sound the opposite. Shuichi sighs and takes the vanilla from her and hands it off to Gonta, who promptly puts it back in the pantry. “Man, you guys are no fun. Where’s your sense of  _ adventure, _ Shu?”

He raises an eyebrow at her as he finishes stirring up the dough. “You’re a great cook, but you cannot bake for the life of you,” he tells her pointedly, and she hums. Shuichi turns to look at Gonta, but he’s oddly focused on the microwave. Sen helps him roll the dough into little balls, and Shuichi grins at her. “Hey, you wanna come help us? There’s a ton of cookies to make.”

Gonta looks a little surprised, but since the box of popcorn is empty and the bag in the microwave is finished, he nods and joins them by the counter. At first, Gonta isn’t great at it; he takes a little too much dough, and Shuichi has to help him get the dough round enough. But he gets the hang of it soon enough, and enough cookies to feed a small village are being slid into the oven. That’s the benefit to having a good amount of shelves and trays, Shuichi supposes.

“So, what are the two of you gonna do when you get back to campus?” Sen asks as they wait behind her to rinse their hands off. They both exchange a look. Their most likely course of action when they get back is to stage their breakup, finally. Shuichi still has to think up a good explanation, and it’s not as though Shuichi can use his family as an excuse, since Kaito or Kaede would probably follow up with them to see what had went wrong. “What’s that look about? Is it—oh,  _ ew, _ Shu. Gross.”

Mortified, Shuichi frantically shakes his head. “N-No, oh my God,  _ no, _ Sen, that’s not—oh, screw you,” he huffs once he sees she’s stifling a laugh. She taps his nose with her still-damp hand and dries her hands with a paper towel as Shuichi sticks his own under the faucet. “Finals are coming up, so that’s...something.”

Sen nods, and the three of them fall into comfortable silence as they wait for the cookies to be done. Gonta moves to stand next to Shuichi, and Shuichi lets himself lean into him slightly. It’s kind of nice. But this’ll be done soon, which fills Shuichi with a mix of both relief and a bit of disappointment. That’s probably more from the fact they’ll probably go back to just chatting every now and then, and that his family’s going to be disappointed that they’re no longer ‘together,’ but Shuichi knows it’ll be for the best. They’ll be able to put this behind them and move on soon enough, and that far outweighs anything else.

When they take the cookies out to the lounge, they’re practically hounded by the horde of children, and Shuichi slips away to the couch. He settles in, tucking his knees to his chest as he leans against the armrest, and Gonta sits politely beside him. It’s very obvious he’s trying not to eat his cookies or popcorn too fast, and that combined with the look of hunger he has when he eyes their shared bag of popcorn Shuichi’s holding makes Shuichi have to stifle a laugh.

“Uncle Shu, Uncle Shu, you’re gonna sing for us, right?” Sachiko asks, Seiko and Saki flanking her, looking just as eager, and Shuichi goes red. He starts to shake his head and open his mouth to tell them that no, that would be more than a little embarrassing, but Sachiko gives him a pouty face at his reluctance. Thankfully, he’s fairly immune to puppy-dog eyes by now. “Pretty please…?”

Shuichi glances nervously at Gonta, who looks  _ very _ curious, and he goes even redder. “Ah, n-no, not this time. Maybe ask your dad if he’ll sing…?” he tries, glancing over to Sotan for some sort of help here. Aya chuckles as Sachiko crosses her arms and shakes her head. Which, honestly, Shuichi can’t blame her for. Sotan is an  _ awful _ singer. Not like Shuichi’s much better. “I-I don’t want to distract from the movie, since Gonta’s never seen them before!”

Thankfully, that excuse is good enough, and, albeit a bit disappointed, the girls go to sit down in front of the screen. “Shuichi really sing?” Gonta asks, and he sounds kind of bewildered at the idea of it. Shuichi doesn’t blame him.

Shaking his head, Shuichi offers up some popcorn as Sen turns off the lights and hits play on their first movie of the night; they’d evidently picked Cinderella to start it off. “I don’t, not really,” he murmurs as the logos start. “They just ask me to because they like the voices I do when I sing the songs. I-It’s, uh, nothing, really. No talent here.”

Gonta seems unsatisfied, but he leaves it at that as the movie really starts. Shuichi’s more watching his reaction than the screen. He seems deeply troubled by the treatment of Cinderella by her evil step-family, and his eyes practically light up when he sees the animals start talking. It’s very cute and so innocent that it makes Shuichi’s heart pang. Gonta’s excitement and incredulity at the movie is by  _ far _ more interesting than Cinderella’s singing.

It kind of reminds Shuichi of when he was a kid watching these movies for the first time. That magic and wonder are things that could never get old. And when the shoe fits, Gonta looks absolutely breathless. It’s so...soft. Shuichi quickly redirects his attention back to the screen when Sotan catches him looking at Gonta. His older brother snickers and waggles his eyebrows at Shuichi, and behind the backs of the younger kids, Shuichi kicks him in the shins. Aya tuts at both of them as Sen gets up to switch to the next movie, which is one of the newer Disney movies.

Shuichi gets ready to watch Gonta react to the princesses of Frozen and their adventure, and he ignores the quiet teasing of his siblings as the opening credits start.

*****

They’re on Hercules by the time the kids have passed out, and almost everyone else gets up to head to bed, too. Sotan and Aya carry out their kids and quietly bid Shuichi and Gonta a goodnight, and Sen wakes the twins up and makes them carry Seiko and Saki out. Now, it’s just the two of them, and while Shuichi kind of feels a little tuckered out, too, he’s not about to stop Gonta from watching however many movies he wants to.

As the scene changes, Gonta leans closer to him. “Another song coming up?” he asks, and Shuichi nods. Meg’s in the garden now, and one of his favorite songs of the movie is about to happen. “Will...Shuichi do the song? I-It okay if you not wanna! Gonta just, um, curious. About the voice thing.”

The quiet instrumental starts, and the innocent and genuine interest on Gonta’s face is  _ very _ hard to say no to. So, shoving down his embarrassment, Shuichi takes a breath and decides to go for it. Gonta looks surprised at first, as though he hadn’t been expecting Shuichi to actually start singing. Shutting his eyes and willing away the redness in his cheeks, Shuichi does his hardest to pretend that it’s his kid siblings next to him instead of Gonta.

It’s easier, then, to put on that bravado, to start doing the voices he’d normally do if they were still here. But it’s  _ incredibly _ embarrassing when Gonta is watching him rather than the screen now, and Shuichi just focuses  _ very _ hard on Meg as she makes her way past a few statues. His heart is pounding as he keeps going, but Gonta doesn’t seem to be judging him at all.

Thankfully, this song isn’t  _ terribly _ long, and despite the fact Shuichi’s voice is pretty much trying to give out as it finishes, he manages to keep up his best doing-a-princess-impression voice. It’s silly, and it usually just makes the girls giggle and insist he does it for every scene, but Gonta seems oddly invested in both the song and Shuichi’s goofy rendition of it.

“That’s uh...usually how it goes,” he says as the scene ends, his voice cracking. Gonta’s eyes are practically sparkling, and Shuichi looks away to keep his gaze on the movie as he attempts to stop himself from getting too flushed. “Just don’t ask me to do another one, it’s a little, ah, embarrassing. Especially with the comic relief characters, don’t even get me  _ started _ on that stupid snowman from Frozen, they eat it right up but  _ God, _ that one takes a toll on my sanity, let me tell you—ah. Sorry. Let’s uh...finish the movie.”

Silently cursing himself, Shuichi shuts his mouth in a thin line and brings his shoulders to his ears. He’s in some pretty serious danger of sliding off the couch. “Gonta think Shuichi have...really nice voice,” Gonta says after a while, and Shuichi looks up at him. Gonta gives him a small smile laced with a subtle tiredness, and Shuichi feels himself relax at the sight of it. “Even if Shuichi try to be silly with it. Still very good.”

Shuichi smiles gently at him. That’s...a really kind thing for Gonta to say. Even if Shuichi doesn’t quite believe him. They fall back into comfortable silence as the rest of Hercules’s story plays out, and Shuichi curls up more on the couch. He wonders why it’d been so easy to slip out of his comfort zone just then.

He doesn’t do that bit for anyone but his family. He doesn’t even do it for Kaede or Kaito. And now he can’t help but fret over what that means. Great. Shuichi supposes it’s probably because he knows Gonta isn’t a judgemental person—hell, he’s kind of non-judgemental to a fault sometimes—and that it’s kind of easy to be around Gonta in general.

Gonta’s enthusiastic about some things, sure, and he can definitely be a little more than eager to try and get people to like bugs as much as he does, but for the most part, he’s honestly a little reserved. Shuichi does question why that is; given his love for what he’s most passionate about is  _ very _ apparent, it’s a bit strange that he doesn’t talk much about his interests or personal life other than that. Not that Shuichi’s entitled to that information, of course, but so much of who Gonta is, other than the entomology degree he’s chasing, is a mystery.

“Which movie’s been your favorite so far?” Shuichi asks towards the end of the movie, and Gonta hums in thought. His brows are furrowed in concentration, and Shuichi bites back a smile. He’s really thinking hard about his decision. It’s endearing. “I mean, you don’t have to choose  _ now, _ there’s a lot of different—”

“Princess and the Frog,” Gonta tells him very suddenly, and Shuichi blinks. “J-Just...it very sweet. They fall in love even if they not think they going to, but it not distract from their dreams, and it have very happy ending! Well, except for poor firefly…”

Ouch. Shuichi had definitely had to comfort Gonta after that one. It had gotten to him, too, the first time he’d seen it. He nods and stands to go put on another movie. It looks like Gonta’s getting pretty tired when Shuichi sits back down on the couch. His eyes are droopy, but he still looks excited, like he doesn’t want to stop watching the movies.

But Shuichi realizes that they still haven’t packed back up yet, and he curses internally. He’s not about to interrupt Gonta’s movie marathon, though, and he’d feel bad leaving him to watch and experience the movies all on his own, so he decides to sit through it. He’ll probably pass out for the hour or so it takes to get back to campus and promptly collapse in his bed when they get back to the dorms, but he thinks it’s worth it.

Especially given that Gonta’s already having an  _ intense _ reaction to Tangled so far.

Halfway through the movie, though, Gonta’s head droops onto Shuichi’s shoulder, and he can hear soft snoring coming from him. Shuichi stifles his laughter as he slowly pushes his sleeping friend upright, and he stands. There’s a blanket on the back of the couch, and the girls had left behind some spare pillows on the floor.

As carefully and quietly as he can manage, Shuichi sets up the pillow against the arm of the couch and gently coaxes Gonta down to lay on it. It’s surprisingly easy, almost alarmingly so as Gonta curls up on himself. Well, he’s still in a full suit, so that’s very likely uncomfortable, and Shuichi frowns.

It’s a little weird to be undoing Gonta’s tie for him, and Shuichi’s face goes red as his brain catches up with his body. There might be a way for him to accidentally suffocate or something if he keeps it on, and Shuichi would definitely like to avoid that. He folds up Gonta’s tie and gently lays it on the coffee table. While he’s at it, he takes Gonta’s glasses off too, and his suit jacket. He looks much more comfortable now.

Shuichi can feel the need for sleep wash over his own body, but he pushes through it. The least he can do is help pack Gonta’s stuff so that he doesn’t have to worry about it in the morning. It would be a very boyfriend-y thing for him to do, wouldn’t it? At that, Shuichi huffs out a quiet laugh. One of the last boyfriend-y gestures, thankfully.

Shaking that train of thought from his mind. He lays the blanket over Gonta, making sure to cover as much of him as the blanket can manage. Gonta’s really tall, after all, so it’s either a bit of his shoulders or his feet that are gonna end up cold. Cold toes are probably worse than cold shoulders, right? That’s what Shuichi settles on, but he does tuck the blanket in around Gonta’s body. “There you go, bud,” he mumbles as Gonta hums in his sleep. He presses a kiss to the top of Gonta’s head, and promptly freezes. It’s probably just a habit from helping out with his kid siblings. He hasn’t tucked someone in for a few years now.

With that settled, Shuichi heads down the hall to his room and runs a hand through his hair as he looks at the mess it’s become. In a half-asleep haze, he starts chucking what looks like his clothes into his bag, and he does the same for Gonta’s. Though he  _ is _ much more careful with Gonta’s things than he is with his own. Hell, he finds himself folding up the suits—suits!—that Gonta had brought with him.

He does, however, find a box in Gonta’s bag when he’s shuffling things around, and his brow furrows. He probably shouldn’t pry too much. But the way it’s wrapped is very cute; it’s clear that though Gonta doesn’t really know what he’s doing with the gift wrap, there’s a lot of effort put in to try to make it look nice. What really catches Shuichi’s attention, though, is that there’s a note attached to it.

A bit disgruntled that he’s turning on the lamp at all, Shuichi looks down at the little sticky note, and his breath catches in his throat.  _ Don’t forget to give to Shuichi before trip end, _ is written out in very loopy handwriting with a bunch of exclamation points surrounding it. Well, Shuichi supposes there’s no harm in unwrapping it. The trip’s over, after all. He carefully undoes the wrapping paper, making sure the way he takes the tape off doesn’t tear it too badly.

It’s the headphones. From the trip.

“Ah, that was supposed to be surprise,” Gonta’s sleep-ridden voice comes from the doorway, and Shuichi jumps. He starts to apologize, but Gonta’s just smiling gently at him, not upset at all, so he decides against it. “Sorry Gonta fell asleep...but thank you for making sure he comfy. A-And Gonta was gonna give that before bed, but...um. A-Anyways, Gonta just wanna thank Shuichi for being so nice. A-And inviting Gonta here. It been a lot of fun, so.”

He cuts himself off there, and Shuichi fights the urge to tear up. “I-I don’t...I should be the one thanking  _ you,” _ Shuichi tells him. His fingertips are white as he grips the box. Gonta looks genuinely confused. “You’ve been so—so accommodating. And kind. And you’ve put up with so much these past few months. I owe you big time, I-I can’t—”

“No, no, keep the headphones,” Gonta tells him before Shuichi can even attempt to hand them back. Shuichi frowns. He feels awful. Gonta shouldn’t be thanking him. If anything, Gonta should be pissed as hell, hating him, even. Shuichi’s caused him so much trouble. “Gonta...not really know what human families are like, but being here...it seem like it be very nice to be part of one.”

Shuichi sets down the headphone box on the nightstand and crosses the room, throwing his arms around Gonta and pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re always welcome here,” he tells him, quietly but firmly, and Gonta’s hands feel shaky as they come to return the hug. “Fake dating or not. You’re...my  _ friend, _ Gonta. And I know I can’t really fix the mess I’ve put you in, but...if you ever need somewhere to go o-or anything like that, you can always, _ always _ come here.”

Gonta’s breathing is shaky, and Shuichi feels him nod. “Okay,” he says, voice hoarse. Shuichi pulls back, and Gonta smiles at him. He gives Gonta’s arm a squeeze and turns back to packing the last thing—his charger, not that it feels remotely important now. He doesn’t miss the way Gonta double-checks to make sure the headphones are in Shuichi’s bag, but he doesn’t say anything about it.

“Let’s go to bed,” Shuichi says, already halfway under the covers. Gonta nods and slips into his side of the bed, very carefully giving Shuichi as much space as he can.

It doesn’t sit right with Shuichi, but it’s not his place to say anything.

So he rolls over to face the opposite wall and drifts off.


	17. Finals Week

Shuichi is very close to having a mental breakdown.

He’d forgotten just how close finals week was, and having to cram as much information about criminology, forensics, and what feels like the entirety of  _ math _ as it exists currently has not allowed him the time to think of an excuse for an amicable breakup, let alone stage one. The only thing running through his veins at this point is caffeine and spite, and he’s going to scream if one of his professors try to ‘just squeeze in another lesson’ again before their final.

As it currently stands, Shuichi is in the lounge, several books splayed out around the table he’s taken over, and he’s scribbling down notes as fast as he possibly can. The only reason he’d moved out of his room was because he’d actually been considering a nap, but he can’t risk passing out for fifteen or so hours and sleeping past his alarms. If he misses a lecture before his finals, he’s most likely going to be missing out on crucial information.

A while ago, he had also run out of coffee, but he’s on a roll now, and he can’t stop to get up and go to the kitchen to make himself more right now. That would risk ruining the streak he has going. But Shuichi can feel his eyes starting to unfocus, and the bags under them are feeling heavier than usual.

Just as he’s about to straight up take a nap on the table, though, a steaming hot mug of that wonderful bean water he’s craving slides in front of him. His savior is none other than Gonta, who sits down quietly on the other side of the table with his own mug of coffee. “God, you are a lifesaver,” Shuichi tells him, cringing as his voice cracks a bit in the middle of his sentence. “I was so close to giving up, dude. Oh shit, wait, are you here to talk about th—”

Shuichi’s cut off by Gonta pressing a finger to his lips and nodding his head over at Rantaro and Korekiyo, who are quietly studying over on one of the couches. “Shuichi just look like he need some company,” he says, though his brow is furrowed. Concern is written all over his expression, but the only writing Shuichi needs to concern himself with right now is in his extensive pages of notes. “And sleep. Shuichi...look very tired.”

“No, ’m fine, I still have to transcribe, like, ten chapters of my forensic criminology notes and type up that last essay for my anatomy independent study,” he mumbles, words jumbling a bit, but thankfully not to where they’re incoherent. If it gets to that point, he’ll consider sleeping a good few hours. “Thank you, though. For the coffee.”

Gonta watches with a wince as Shuichi chugs about half of the mug and continues in a flurry with his notes. There are footsteps that Shuichi registers vaguely as he looks up what the hell a dactylion is, and there’s a heavy sigh from behind him. “Are you seriously doing this to yourself again?” Kaede’s voice asks, and she sounds more worried than anything. “Come on, you haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in days.”

Gonta nods—Shuichi only sees it in his peripheral vision—but he pays the two of them no mind, given that if he completely bombs these tests, he’ll have to take an entire year of re-doing these stupid classes. Not to mention that would screw up his scholarship so badly he’d have to ask his parents for money, which he is most  _ definitely _ not about to do. The mortification of that idea alone is enough to spur him on for at least a few more chapters.

“Shuichi...should go to bed,” Gonta says slowly, and Shuichi just grunts. He can sleep when he’s dead. If he fails, he’ll feel like shit, and anything below an A is going to make his parents give him the Disappointed Call, so Shuichi really  _ can’t _ go to sleep. “You not gonna be able to do good if you not get enough rest before tests happen. Shuichi...know that, right?”

Kaede just sighs again. “He does this every term. Works himself up thinking he’s going to fail and he ends up getting perfect marks on pretty much every test,” she says, and Shuichi has half a mind to look away from his notes for a moment to glare at her. The only reason he’d gotten those scores is because he’d worked his ass off for them. “But he always complains that half of what he’d studied isn’t on the test.”

At that, Shuichi actually does glare at her. “It’s better to be prepared than to sit there, absolutely clueless and panicking,” he says firmly, and he chews on the rubber end of his pencil as he scans through the page in the textbook he’d been on to find his place again. His leg also might be bouncing. Is it bouncing? It’s probably the caffeine. He’ll be fine.

“Gonta think Shuichi might need to go to sleep. And shower,” he says, eyeing Shuichi’s hair warily. And yeah, Shuichi is very much aware of the fact his hair is wavy and sticking up weirdly and kind of gross, but come  _ on. _ He doesn’t have the  _ time. _ So Shuichi just continues scribbling down bullet point after bullet point. “Shuichi can take breaks. Is very,  _ very _ okay to take breaks, Shuichi know that, right?”

“This way of studying isn’t healthy,” Kaede says, long-suffering, but Shuichi’s doing his damn hardest to tune the two of them out, and there’s  _ two of them this time, _ which absolutely sucks since he can’t exactly move back into his room right now since he’s still clinging to what little of the on-a-roll he still has left. “Don’t  _ make _ me bring Kaito down here. I’ll do it.”

“Kaede, I swear to God if you do not let me study, I am going to  _ scream,”  _ he says through gritted teeth. She looks pissed, but she doesn’t say anything, instead opting to cross her arms and glare at him in her most disapproving manner. Gonta, on the other hand, seems to think this is an opportunity for him to attempt to stop the  _ very successful _ study session Shuichi is having right now, but Shuichi cuts him off. “Don’t you fucking start, either. I’m fine.”

Well, shit. That had come out  _ far _ ruder than he’d intended. And Gonta looks more dejected than Shuichi thinks he’s ever seen him. The anxiety-ridden part of his brain nags at him that this is a distraction, that he should get back to studying. But the expression on Gonta’s face as he stands shuts that section of Shuichi’s mind up rather quickly. He doesn’t look mad or frustrated. He just looks...reserved. Like he’s trying his hardest to walk on eggshells now.

And that sends a pit of guilt into Shuichi’s stomach that feels about as heavy as the textbooks on the table.

Quietly, Gonta slides his own almost untouched mug of coffee across the table. “Here,” he says, his tone sounding intentionally careful, and Shuichi  _ hates _ it. “Gonta...still think Shuichi should sleep, but if he going to stay up, it be good to pace yourself. At least with coffee. Gonta can bring more if Shuichi want.”

“N-No, I—shit. I’m sorry,” he says, but Gonta just shakes his head. There’s no soft smile there to assure Shuichi his apology is unneeded, though. That expression is just...blank. Carefully measured. It’s alien and cold and Shuichi hates knowing he’d upset Gonta like this. “I...I really am sorry, Gonta, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m being stupid and anxious and an asshole, I—! I’ll go and take a nap right now, I swear, I-I’ll shower too, just  _ please  _ don’t look at me like that.”

Gonta’s composure stutters. “Sorry,” is the first thing that comes out of his mouth. It seems instinctual, and Shuichi doesn’t like the implications of that. Kaede glances between the two of them nervously. She looks like she wants to say something, but she bites her lip instead. “Gonta not mean to make Shuichi upset…”

“No, that’s not—you didn’t make me upset at all, I just...don’t like upsetting you. Or seeing you upset,” Shuichi says, and Gonta’s shoulders relax a little. “I’ll go and shower and sleep and I’ll finish up my notes in the morning. I’ll eat, too, I-I’ll take care of myself. Don’t worry, okay? If you need to, you can come and make sure that I am, I  _ swear _ I didn’t mean to sound so rude, Gonta, I—”

“I-It okay! Shuichi not have to apologize,” Gonta tells him, and though he sounds more like himself now, Shuichi knows that he absolutely does have to apologize. “But...it would make Gonta feel little better to see Shuichi getting rest.”

Nodding, Shuichi closes his laptop and the textbooks. “Yeah, no, that’s...that is perfectly okay with me,” he says, guilt still gnawing away at him. It’s weird—he feels more awake now than he had with seven cups of coffee in his system. “I’m gonna take a shower and then eat something and then sleep, and I am  _ so _ sorry.”

Gonta takes the textbooks from the table and tucks them under his arm. Kaede pokes at Gonta’s shoulder. “D’you think you could teach me that?” she asks, voice wavering a little. Shuichi lets out an awkward laugh. “Sorry. Trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t work very well, did it?”

Shuichi gives her an unsteady grin and shakes his head. Though, he supposes, it  _ had _ made Gonta smile, albeit only a little. Hesitantly, he puts a hand on Gonta’s arm and looks up at him; he doesn’t seem  _ too _ upset now, but Shuichi still feels awful. It had been an in-the-moment sort of lash out, and they both know that, but that doesn’t stop Gonta from feeling hurt and it doesn’t stop Shuichi from feeling guilty.

They head up to Shuichi’s room, and Gonta waits outside the bathroom door to make sure the water’s on before he heads out to presumably get something for Shuichi to eat. Shuichi scrubs away at the layer of grime—he cringes and looks away from himself—that’s accumulated in the meantime. His hair is less work, but it’s still  _ work. _ He hasn’t showered since a few days after fall break had ended. Gross.

He feels less gross, though, once he’s gotten changed. And while the bed is  _ very _ appealing, as are the textbooks resting on his desk, Shuichi just waits for Gonta. It’s the least he can do. He hadn’t even realized Gonta would be worried that much about him, but Shuichi supposes it’s not really a surprise considering the guy is the walking embodiment of empathy.

It’s really sweet of him, though, to make sure Shuichi’s going to follow through on taking care of himself. Gonta’s such a genuinely good friend, and Shuichi feels even worse knowing that Gonta probably won’t even stay upset for more than a few hours. The last time he’d seen Gonta even remotely this upset was when Kokichi had stomped on a spider right in front of him. But that had been more anger and sadness than hurt. Jesus, is he really worse than  _ Kokichi? _

No, unlike the spider situation, this had been unintentional. And, Shuichi laments, if he’d actually had a good amount of sleep like his friends have been hounding him about, this wouldn’t have even happened in the first place. God, he’s such an idiot. If he had just taken a nap, he wouldn’t have been a dick to Gonta, and he could still be studying right now—

If Shuichi’s brain could shut the hell up about studying, he thinks that would be wonderful. It’s that line of thinking that got him into this, and while he’s at it, he could really do without his leg bouncing every second, thanks very much. He leans against the wall and bites at his nails in an attempt to stop the leg thing from happening. Needless to say, it doesn’t work very well.

“Gonta brought Shuichi some food,” Gonta says as the door opens, but he’s being quiet. Not like the bottled-up quiet from before; this one’s more of an attempt not to wake Shuichi up if he’s already asleep. It’s thoughtful, and Shuichi smiles weakly at Gonta as he hands over a platter of what is clearly Kirumi’s cooking. “Gonta think...katsudon and soup very good combination for now. It warm and cozy…so might help Shuichi calm down little bit, too.”

Damn, does Gonta still think Shuichi’s upset with him? Because honestly, Shuichi had never been upset with him in the first place. Shuichi’s frustration had been with himself, after all, and he should probably tell Gonta that, right? But no, Gonta’s gaze is going back and forth from Shuichi’s leg and his face, and Shuichi consciously holds his leg as still as he can manage. That just makes Gonta’s concern deepen.

“That sounds really good,” Shuichi says, and at the smell of the food as he opens up the top to the tray, his stomach rumbles. When was the last time he’d eaten a proper meal? It scares him a little that he can’t recall. He settles down in his desk chair and makes to start eating, but he can’t rest the tray on his lap if his stupid leg is going to keep bouncing like that. So he rests the platter on top of the textbooks despite his brain screaming at him not to. “That should, uh. Keep me from studying. I can—I’ll focus on eating. Sorry.”

The corners of Gonta’s mouth quirk upward for a moment, but it’s less of an amused smile than a worried one. He sits down on the bed and stares at his hands as Shuichi eats. Well, it’s more that he’s scarfing down the food like a dying man than just eating it, but still. “Um, Shuichi still...angry with Gonta?” he asks, and Shuichi nearly chokes on his pork to assure him that’s not the case.

He finishes up the last of the pork without choking on it, thankfully. “No, no, a-and I wasn’t angry with you, it was all this frustration and anxiety from finals coming up, and I lashed out at you. I shouldn’t have,” he clarifies, “because it was cruel and undeserved and I cannot apologize enough for hurting you like that. It wasn’t your fault at all, please don’t think that it was. And you don’t have to feel like you need to accept my sorry right away. If you need...space, o-or time, or anything like that, I’m totally cool. We’re still friends at the end of the day, right?”

Gonta’s entire demeanor softens. “Of course! And Gonta okay,” he says, and Shuichi smiles at him as he starts on the soup. He’s about halfway through it when Gonta speaks up again. “If it okay though...can Gonta stay? J-Just to make sure Shuichi get good amount of sleep? Gonta, um...little bit scared you gonna overwork yourself again.”

“Yeah, that’s...don’t even worry about it, of course that’s alright,” Shuichi assures him, and Gonta nods. They’re silent as Shuichi finishes up his meal. He makes a mental note to thank Kirumi for the food later as he crawls under the covers. Gonta’s still sitting on the edge of the bed, but he looks conflicted. “Everything okay? I-If you still need to talk or get anything off your chest, I’m fine to stay up a little more. Whatever you need.”

“Can Gonta...ah, nevermind,” he says, cheeks flushed. Shuichi’s brow furrows, and he hopes he’s being open enough to prompt Gonta to go ahead. And although he still seems incredibly embarrassed, Gonta does continue. “Can Gonta be in bed with Shuichi? O-Only to be sure! It okay if not, it was bad suggestion anyway, very ungentlemanly, Gonta sorry—”

“Don’t be sorry! That’s perfectly okay,” Shuichi tells him. Gonta nods slowly, like he’s waiting for Shuichi to change his mind, even though that’s not going to happen. Maybe Gonta has anxieties of his own that are manifesting as the need to be  _ right there. _ But it’s not Shuichi’s place to judge or pry. Given how understanding and patient Gonta had been with him, even when he was being an asshole, it’s the least Shuichi can do to ease that nervousness for Gonta. “I’m one hundred percent fine with it, Gonta. Promise.”

Gonta hums quietly and slowly makes his way under the covers next to Shuichi. “Come here?” he says, though it’s more of a timid question than an outright request. Shuichi leans against him like they’ve done an abnormal amount of times before, and Gonta wraps his arms around Shuichi very delicately. It’s not unlike times where Shuichi had spent nights comforting Kaede or Kaito about upcoming performances or physical exams. It’s nice.

It’s less nice, however, when the exhaustion makes him tear up, and his breathing gets raggedy. Dammit, the last thing Shuichi needs to be doing right now is making Gonta more worried than he already is. He tries his hardest not to break down, but Gonta’s arms tighten slightly around him, just enough to make the dam burst.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t mean to—it’s just, everything is overwhelming a-and…” he trails off, furiously wiping the tears from his face with the heels of his palms. Gonta starts to stroke his hair, and Shuichi feels a bit silly now. It’s embarrassing to be crying in front of Gonta like this, let alone after being a dick to him. “I’m fine, I-I promise, I’m just...so t-tired.”

“Shuichi not have to be sorry,” Gonta tells him in what’s barely above a murmur, and Shuichi tries his hardest to steady his breathing. “Is okay to be nervous, but Shuichi have to take care of himself too. Gonta know tests very scary sometimes, but Shuichi not deserve to be so exhausted and stressed.”

God, Shuichi feels so dumb. “Kaede’s right, I-I do  _ well _ on my exams, I always do, I just...my anxiety takes over and I keep ignoring my own needs and i-it’s not  _ healthy,” _ Shuichi says, and Gonta rubs little circles over the small of his back. “And you shouldn’t even be here comforting me right now, ’cuz I was an asshole a-and you have every right to still be mad or upset, and I don’t understand how you’re  _ not, _ Gonta.”

There’s a pause, and for a moment, Shuichi worries he’s not going to get an answer before he falls asleep. But then, Gonta sighs quietly. “Gonta know Shuichi not mean to get angry, and Shuichi already apologize,” Gonta says, and Shuichi bites his lip. “Gonta...know that sometimes he forgive too much, but Shuichi always mean it when he say sorry, so Gonta never have to worry about that with you.”

Shuichi’s breath hitches. He hadn’t realized that. Of course, there’s still some lingering doubt in his mind, but he pushes that away. “I’m glad you feel that way,” he says, and Gonta nods. He can feel his eyelids starting to shut without his permission. “Being friends with someone  _ should _ let you feel that way. And I hope you know...even putting aside the fact you are an actual saint for putting up with the whole fake dating thing, you’re a phenomenal friend, Gonta.”

“Thank you,” Gonta says quietly, and Shuichi nods as he drifts off.

*****

The thing that wakes Shuichi up the next morning is not the first of his multiple alarms going off, but his phone buzzing like crazy on his nightstand. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes and prying Gonta’s arm from him, Shuichi grabs at it and sees his mother calling at what appears to be six in the morning. Seriously?

It’s way too early for this, but Shuichi picks it up anyway. It could be an emergency for all he knows, after all. “Hello?” he asks, and he cringes at the way his voice is audibly groggy. Gonta stirs beside him, and Shuichi opts to be more quiet from here on out. “Why’re you calling so early, Ma?”

_ “Oh, I forgot about timezones,” _ she chastises herself, and Shuichi briefly wonders if she’s starting to go overseas again. He hums for her to continue, and he sits back against the pillows. Gonta shifts, and Shuichi stifles a laugh at his crooked glasses.  _ “Right! Sorry, Shu, I’m doing a million things right now, but I needed to know where to send your gifts for the holidays!” _

At that, Shuichi’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?” he asks, completely bewildered. Why is she implying he wouldn’t be coming home for break like he always does? Gonta slowly wakes beside him, and Shuichi gives him an apologetic wince. Maybe his volume control hadn’t been as good as he’d hoped.

_ “Well, I’m not exactly about to take your boyfriend away from his folks for another break, as much as we all adore Gonta,” _ Ma says, and Shuichi’s stomach drops. Oh, shit, he’s gotta get a word in before she—  _ “And we’d all assumed you’d be staying at theirs for the holidays, since it’s the perfect time! Christmas Eve is far too romantic to miss out on spending with the person you care for, y’know. Oh, we could even send over Christmas cards, like they do in the west, I just love that idea!” _

Shuichi looks over at Gonta with a long-suffering expression. Ma isn’t exactly being quiet, and judging by the look of mixed dread and disbelief on Gonta’s face, he’d heard pretty much everything. “I...I’ll let you know…? Finals still aren’t, um, over yet,” he tries, but his mother just tuts at him over the line. “Look, I don’t wanna invite myself, Ma, that would be really rude. And besides, we’re kind of, um, not—”

_ “Damn it, I have to go,”  _ Ma says as there’s a faint crash in the background of the call, and Shuichi resists the urge to groan at the interruption.  _ “But do let me know where to send those gifts, Shu! Your siblings have already picked out their gifts to the two of you, but your father needs a bit more time. Oh—! Right, now I’ve really gotta go. Talk to you soon.” _

With that, she hangs up, and Shuichi throws his head back against the pillow. Gonta smiles sympathetically at him. “Shuichi okay?” he asks, and Shuichi nods. He’s a little frustrated, but he’s used to it; this isn’t exactly the first time she’d dropped a call for work. “Shuichi should try to sleep little bit more. It still really early.”

He hums. He probably should, but he knows he’s just going to toss and turn until a decent enough time to get out of bed. It’s fruitless, but he’ll try. “That sleep really did help me out,” he says, and Gonta smiles gently at him. He looks tired. Shuichi doesn’t want to keep him up for longer than necessary. But Shuichi’s phone buzzes again, and he pinches the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb as he looks at the message Sotan had just sent him. “So, uh, apparently Sachiko picked this out for you to send over for the holidays, but it’s a ‘secret.’”

Tilting the screen, Shuichi shows Gonta the image of a brand new bug terrarium, hand-decorated with glitter glue and stickers. Gonta’s breath hitches. And now they’re absolutely screwed, because who the hell is going to sit down and tell a five year-old that she can’t give a gift she’d very obviously worked her tiny little heart out on because a ‘relationship’ is over? Not to mention how many _ questions _ that would bring up, questions that Shuichi doesn’t have the energy to prepare for.

“Train ride there is...very long,” Gonta warns him, and Shuichi supposes that settles that.

They’re stuck again.


	18. Bro To Bro

Shuichi’s in the middle of an online practice quiz when there’s a knock at his dorm room door, and he doesn’t do more than glance back to see if the person waiting had come in already. Since his room is still empty, save for him, he frowns. “Come on in, door’s unlocked,” he calls, and the door swings open. Shuichi looks over his shoulder, and it’s Kaito standing there, surprisingly enough. “Oh hey, I’m just getting some last-minute studying in.”

Kaito eyes the open textbook on his desk warily. “You’re not overworking yourself, are ya? ’Cuz I was hoping to do some training with you and Maki Roll later,” he says, tone delicate, and Shuichi gives him a flat look. Kaito puts up his hands and raises his eyebrows. “Listen, I’m just makin’ sure.”

Closing out of the tab, Shuichi whirls his desk chair around and stops it once he’s facing Kaito properly. “You don’t have to worry about it, I’m taking breaks and eating,” he says, and Kaito gives him an easy grin. And he is—for every hour or so of studying, he takes twenty minutes to relax and do nothing. “It  _ is _ really hard not to let my brain get the better of me...but it’s a lot easier now that this is my last test.”

“Cheers. I’ll drink to that. Thank  _ fuck _ the semester’s only a few days away from being done. I can’t even begin to tell you how bad my damned physics classes are, dude,” Kaito tells him, settling down on the edge of the bed. Shuichi chuckles quietly and brings up his legs on the chair. He rests his chin on his knees, and Kaito gives him a once-over. “I, uh...heard you and the big guy had a fight the other day. Are you guys, like...okay?”

A little red in the face, Shuichi glares playfully at him. “It wasn’t a  _ fight,” _ he says, though his voice lacks any bite to it. Kaito looks confused; maybe Kaede hadn’t filled him in. “I was just...doing what I usually do during finals week, and Gonta was concerned. I snapped at him, but he wasn’t mad. Both of us are anxious messes, I guess. I...I hated making him so upset, though.”

Kaito nods. “Yeah, you guys both stress over stuff that’s pretty easily taken care of,” he says, and Shuichi tilts his head in confusion. Putting a hand to his chin, Kaito thinks for a moment. “Well, it’s ’cuz you were stressing yourself out about the test, which you always do, but you always ace it, and he was stressing out over  _ you _ stressing out, but that’s not really something either of you guys can help, y’know? He was just worried. I think the big guy might’ve felt the same way I do when Maki overexerts herself.”

Shuichi hums. He wonders if it would be weird to bring up how closed-off Gonta had been after Shuichi had snapped at him. Kaito’s his best friend, sure, but Shuichi doesn’t know if Gonta would be comfortable with him sharing what had happened. He figures that it’s probably fine, given that even with Kaito’s inability to keep a secret, he wouldn’t go blabbing about something a bit personal.

“Hey, um, there  _ was _ something that did bother me, though,” he says, and Kaito hums for him to go ahead, brow furrowed. “I just...when I  _ did _ snap at him, he was so weirdly calm. I dunno, it was like he was trying his hardest not to be emotional. Which—that’s odd, right? Gonta’s usually so open, and seeing him closed off was...I don’t wanna be dramatic, but it was  _ so _ unpleasant, and knowing  _ I _ caused that…”

Kaito sighs, but it’s more sympathetic than anything else. “Yeah, I get what you mean. Maki Roll gets like that too sometimes,” he says, and Shuichi is very abruptly reminded that Kaito is viewing this as a couple thing rather than a friend thing. It’s weird. “I just try my best not to trigger that stuff for her.”

Frowning, Shuichi crosses his arms. “What? Are you talking about, like...the whole…?” he trails off, and Kaito nods. Shuichi remembers Gonta’s self-consciousness about his back, and his reluctance during conversations about family, and what he’d said at the end of their trip, and Shuichi bites his lip. “I...I didn’t even think about that. But I don’t...he doesn’t  _ talk _ about that stuff, and that’s—it’s totally okay, I’m not going to force him to, I know how hard it can be. I really don’t want to set off that reaction again.”

At that, Kaito blinks in surprise. “He doesn’t talk to you about that stuff? Like, at all?” he asks, and Shuichi shrugs. He can infer some things from the little snippets Gonta’s dropped here and there, but he’s not about to read into it too much. It would feel too much like an invasion of privacy. “That’s kinda weird. I mean, you guys have been together for a good bit now. Maki took a year, but that’s  _ Maki, _ yannow? Gonta’s such an open guy, it’s weird he hasn’t opened up by now about it.”

“Well, he talks to me about  _ some _ things,” Shuichi says, slightly defensively. Kaito stifles a laugh, and Shuichi shoves his shoulder. “I mean...he opens up to me about, like, normal stuff, I guess. I don’t know. And you know me, I’m constantly oversharing and immediately regretting it, but Gonta’s not like that. Sometimes it feels unbalanced, y’know? Like I’m telling him  _ too _ much, and the last thing I’d want to do is make him uncomfortable.”

“Wouldn’t he tell you if you were?” Kaito asks, and Shuichi honestly doesn’t know. Gonta’s the kind of person that would listen and try and help despite his own discomfort, but maybe Shuichi could be the exception to the rule. He shrugs. “Well, shit. That’s...not good.”

“Yeah, I’m aware, thank you,” Shuichi tells him, and Kaito holds his hands up in surrender. The two of them are quiet for a moment, and Shuichi’s leg starts to bounce. “Do you think...maybe Gonta doesn’t trust me enough to tell me?”

It’s entirely possible, and it’s been nagging at the back of Shuichi’s brain since they’d started this conversation. Levels of trust are  _ vastly _ different for different people, Shuichi knows that, but Gonta had never seemed like the kind of person to keep things that private. Then again, it’s not as if he’s closed-off, and Shuichi’s not entitled to know  _ everything _ about him, but it would be...comforting, in a way, he supposes, to be someone his friend can come to, just to talk about that sort of stuff.

Kaito puts his chin in his hand and hums. “No clue, man. I’d’ve figured the big guy woulda told you about all that already,” he says, and Shuichi sighs. It’s weird to be so concerned about this, isn’t it? Obviously, to Kaito, it doesn’t seem that way, because they’re supposed to be a couple in his eyes, but Shuichi’s not entirely sure it’s normal. “I mean, hey, he’ll probably tell you on his own time, dude. I wouldn’t be too concerned about it. Kaede didn’t open up to either of us right away, even though she’s a pretty emotionally open person, right? It’s the same thing. I think. Uh, probably…?”

Chuckling quietly, Shuichi nods. Kaito  _ does _ have a point there, and it makes him feel slightly better about being so worried. “Enough about my stuff, how are you and Maki?” he asks, and Kaito groans, laying on his back. Shuichi raises an eyebrow, and Kaito just shakes his head. “Oh, come on, man, what’s up?”

“It’s just been kinda weird lately. We’ve been together for, like, almost three years, y’know? It sorta feels like she wants me to do something, but other than not screwin’ up our anniversary, I have no clue what she could want! Not like she’d tell me straight-out either,” he groans, and Shuichi supposes he has a point. Maki’s usually pretty straightforward about what she wants, but she can still get so flustered when it comes to Kaito.

“Why don’t you just, I dunno...ask her about what she wants?” he asks, and Kaito stares flatly at him. Shuichi’s assuming that means he’s already tried and failed. Shuichi grabs the stress ball from his desk and tosses it over to Kaito, who catches it and throws it up in the air. “Is she maybe thinking about moving in together? That’s, like, the next step for people that have dated for a while, right?”

Kaito tosses him the ball, and Shuichi fumbles with it. Snickering as Shuichi attempts to get a grip on it, Kaito sits up again. “I mean, yeah, but we’re still in the dorms for another—what is it, like, two years? Maybe more? So unless she wants to get an apartment off-campus,” he says, trailing off as Shuichi tosses the stress ball back to him. “Is she even allowed to be an RA if she’s living off-campus? Probably, right?”

Smiling, Shuichi shrugs as Kaito throws the ball back to him. “Don’t look at me,” he says, and Kaito shakes his head fondly. Shuichi gives the stress ball a squeeze. It’s the kind that’s got those little beads in it; Kaede had gotten it for him—it’s gotta be over a year ago now—at one of their university’s career fairs. “Maybe it’s just finals stress. Or...something.”

“Yeah, probably. I’m not gonna worry myself too much about it,” Kaito says, and Shuichi tosses the ball back. Kaito catches it with one hand and squeezes it a few times. They throw it back and forth a few more times before Kaito stands and places it down gently on the desk. He looks troubled. “Hey, d’you wanna go get some ice cream? I know it’s December, but...I could really do with a cheat day.”

Right, Kaito’s regimen. His career counselor has him following a strict diet in order to help him build the physique of an astronaut. “Yeah, man, I could use some ice cream,” Shuichi says, and Kaito beams at him. Shuichi checks his bedside drawer for his wallet, but it’s not there. He hums and checks his bookbag. There it is. Relieved, he heads over to his closet to grab a sweater to put over top of his clothes, but when he puts it on, Kaito stifles a laugh. “What? Does it look bad?”

“You sure that’s your sweater?” Kaito asks, and Shuichi’s brow furrows as he looks down at himself. Oh. He goes bright red when he realizes it most certainly  _ isn’t _ his, judging by the fact it’s a white, way-too-big sweater with little embroidered bees scattered across the fabric. Damn, he’d probably gotten some of his stuff mixed up with Gonta’s when he’d packed; he’d just assumed all the clothes Gonta had brought were suits. “Relax, it looks good on you, bro. Let’s get going, yeah?”

Nodding and still rather embarrassed, Shuichi follows Kaito out of the dorms. It’s definitely cold outside, but his—Gonta’s—sweater is warm enough that it hardly bothers Shuichi. Well, other than the chill biting at the tip of his nose and the tops of his cheeks. They’re going to get an irritated sort of red; Shuichi can tell that much already.

The ice cream parlor they’re headed to is near the café Kaito works at, and Shuichi’s kind of excited because it’s one of those shops that uses old-fashioned ice cream makers and has that sort of antique atmosphere that gives Shuichi the same feeling of being tucked away in the corner of a little bookstore. It’s always really cozy, since the parlor’s a pretty hole-in-the-wall kinda place anyway.

Shuichi’s not one for crazy sundaes or weird flavor-topping combinations; that’s more Kaito’s thing. But he does go for some hot fudge on his ice cream, just because he could use  _ something _ warm right now. The two of them settle down at one of the little tables, and Kaito offers up some of his monster of a sundae.

“Thanks, but I’m good,” Shuichi tells him, and Kaito shrugs as he eats a straight mouthful of gummy bears, cookie dough, sugary cereal, and ice cream. Shuichi winces and sweeps up the fudge threatening to drip down his hand. “Ugh, I don’t know why I didn’t just get one of those cone bowl thingies. They’re a lot more convenient.”

Kaito chuckles and pokes at a chunk of peanut brittle sticking out of one of his scoops of ice cream. “Y’know, you should really try their cotton candy, it’s really good,” he says through a bite of his sundae, and Shuichi cringes. Stifling a laugh, Kaito covers his mouth and gives him an apologetic grin once he’s swallowed. “Seriously, man, if you never take a risk, you’ll never get to experience all the cool crap that the world has to offer!”

Shaking his head, Shuichi focuses on his ice cream for a minute. Sure, he supposes, Kaito’s right, but it settles in his head as something about more than just ice cream. But he’s never been one to step  _ too _ far out of his comfort zone. Maybe it comes with the territory of being anxious all the damn time. Or maybe it’s just Shuichi’s personal shit.

He’d never really felt safe to explore too many things in general. Growing up looking at cases with his uncle had shown him exactly what it meant to screw up a potential good experience, and there’s too much wrong with the world already to contribute to that. Then again, isn’t inaction just as bad as doing too much? How does one find a proper balance between being too bold and too reserved?

Ugh. His head’s starting to hurt.

“Remember the last time we came here?” he asks instead of voicing the existential crisis he’s currently having. Kaito snorts. So he does, then. Shuichi has some more of his ice cream before he continues. “Maki got so pissed at you...not to mention I’m pretty sure the cherry Kaede threw at the ceiling is still stuck up there somewhere.”

Kaito nearly chokes on a rainbow sprinkle. “D’you think?” he asks, actually glancing up to check whether it’s true. Shuichi shakes his head fondly. Kaito frowns and huffs as he takes his next bite of sugar-loaded ice cream. “Man, that was a good day. Maki Roll even let us bring our stuff back in the dorms! In the carpeted area!”

“I’m still surprised anyone lets you have food in the carpeted parts of the dorms,” Shuichi tells him with raised eyebrows. Kaito glares at him, shovelling some more candy—not even ice cream—in his mouth. “You already lost the deposit for your room, Kaito. You’ve lost it for every semester we’ve been here for.”

“Yeah, yeah, but I’ve never lost it for anything  _ purposefully _ stupid, just accidents,” Kaito says, pointing his spoon at Shuichi and waving it in a little circle. Shuichi just eats some more of his ice cream and rolls his eyes. Kaito’s good mood seems to taper out a bit. “Hey, uh...d’you think Maki Roll might break up with me? Is that why she’s been so weird lately?”

There’s probably no way, given that Kaito and Maki are pretty much perfect for each other and are one of the healthiest couples Shuichi’s ever interacted with. But Shuichi understands why Kaito might not be certain about it. “I don’t think that’s the case, man. There’s a ton of stuff going on for her right now with the end of the semester and all,” he offers, and Kaito nods, though he looks unconvinced. “Knowing Maki, she’d tell you if she were thinking about that.”

Kaito sighs and pokes at a gummy bear with the end of his spoon. “I guess...maybe I should just ask her when I see her next,” he says, and Shuichi nods. That’s more productive than sitting around here and just wondering about it, he supposes. Though, if it were him, asking someone why they haven’t been acting normally around him would be the last thing to occur to him. He’d probably just spend however long it took the person to bring it up worrying about how much they hate him. “Anyways…! You got anything planned for the break?”

Regrettably, yes. “Me and Gonta were going to head to his folks’ place,” he says, bracing himself for the inevitable excitement, but it doesn’t come. Instead, Kaito nods, as though it’s perfectly understandable. And from an outside perspective, it probably is. “I don’t exactly know what we’ll do when we get there, but…”

He trails off, and Kaito hums, brow furrowed in concentration. “What’s the big guy’s family like? D’you know?” he asks, and Shuichi shakes his head. Other than little bits and pieces he can infer at best, he has no clue what Gonta’s home life is like. “Damn. How much you wanna bet they’re some weirdo cult?”

Shuichi nearly chokes on his ice cream. “Bwh—K-Kaito, what are you  _ talking _ about?” he sputters, and Kaito snickers as Shuichi attempts to dislodge the fudge from his own throat. “It’s not gonna be a cult, dude! Wh—if anybody we know’s family is  _ close _ to a cult, it’d be Angie’s, don’t you think?”

Kaito shudders at the memory. “God, you’re right. That was one weird day,” he says, sounding a thousand years away from the present. Shuichi’s very grateful for a higher education, but he’d never imagined that in his first year, a fellow classmate’s parents would have attempted to indoctrinate them all into a less-than-organized religion. “Okay, okay, so if they’re  _ not _ a cult, what do you think they’ll be like?”

Shuichi bites at his waffle cone and hums. “I dunno. Maybe they’re just like Gonta. He’s gotta get it from  _ somewhere, _ right?” he says, and Kaito shrugs. Shuichi doesn’t really wanna think about winter break right now. “Regardless, I’m dreading whatever stupid gag gifts my brothers are going to send me more than anything.” A lie, but a little white one. The thing he’s most nervous about is having to spend another break with Gonta because of this stupid situation, but Kaito doesn’t need to know about that.

Chuckling, Kaito finishes off the last of his ice cream. “I’m heading to my grandparents’ house for the first week, but Maki’s got some business out of town until Christmas Eve,” he says, using his spoon to pilfer some of the last bits of strawberry ice cream that’s left in Shuichi’s cone. “We don’t really have any plans either other than chilling out until classes start up again. And, y’know, gettin’ it—”

“Dude,  _ gross,” _ Shuichi interrupts with a laugh, making a face. Kaito snickers and decides to scrape some of the precious remnants of hot fudge from the inside of the cone. “I hope you’re aware she’d threaten to kill you if she heard you saying that. Also, quit taking my ice cream, was your pile of everything under the sun not enough?”

“C’mon, I’m still hungry!” Kaito whines, and Shuichi grabs his wrist at his next attempt to nab even more ice cream. Kaito wriggles out of his grip and glares at him. “Bro. This betrayal is of the highest caliber and  _ will _ not be forgotten...unless you want to hop next door and buy me some pastries…? Please?”

Rolling his eyes, Shuichi hands him the rest of the cone and stands. Kaito follows him out and next door to the café; some of his coworkers wave at him as he orders and Shuichi hands over his card. “You’re buying lunch the next time we study together,” he says as Kaito chomps on his croissant sandwich. Kaito just grins with a mouthful of egg and ham, and Shuichi shoves his shoulder. “Ew, dude, close your mouth!”

“Oh, does it  _ bug _ you?” Kaito teases, still chewing, and Shuichi eyes the traffic on the street longingly. They start to walk back towards campus, the silence only interrupted by Kaito desperately trying to keep the egg from getting too runny. When they get to the dorms, Kaito slings an arm around him, tossing the empty sandwich wrapper out on their way in. “Dude, we should totally get together during break! Me, you, the big guy, and Maki Roll!”

“That sounds great,” Shuichi says, albeit a bit strained given that if they  _ do _ visit each other over break, he and Gonta are going to be forced to act like a couple again. But Kaito’s just trying to be nice, so, really, Shuichi shouldn’t get so upset about it. “Maybe we could even get Kaede and Miu to come, too.”

Kaito nods his head towards the lounge. “You wanna play some games before you head back to your room to study?” he asks, and Shuichi’s honestly really tempted, but he  _ does _ have to finish up some work. This break has been far too long, anyway, and he should definitely cram if he has any hopes of finishing before midnight, and—! “Dude, you’re overthinking it. I’m pretty sure you’re set for tomorrow’s test anyway.”

Thankfully, that’s enough to quiet any remaining scolding voices in Shuichi’s head attempting to convince him that that’s not the case. “Right, yeah. I should be good,” Shuichi says, and Kaito grins at him as he claps a hand on his shoulder and leads him into the lounge. “So what did you want to play? Mario Kart? Katamari? Smash Bros?”

“I’m gonna kick your ass in Mario Kart,” Kaito says decisively as Shuichi sets up the game. He’s sitting—already triumphant, the cocky bastard—on the sofa, legs spread wide enough to take up much more space than necessary. Shuichi nudges him to make room, and he does. “Alright, sidekick, go ahead and pick Luigi so we can get it over with.”

Shuichi goes red and stutters out a few incoherent syllables. Regaining his composure, he goes for Yoshi instead. “Okay, well, at least I don’t pick the most bland man there is,” he says pointedly as Kaito picks Mario. A hand to his chest, Kaito gives him the most offended look Shuichi’s ever seen on his face. “I’m just saying!”

“Mario’s the ultimate hero, dude! He spends all his time saving princesses and junk!” he huffs, and Shuichi nods in a mock-placating manner and Kaito nudges him in the ribs. “Whatever, just because  _ you _ don’t have taste…”

“Oh, I have  _ taste, _ you just pick the characters who would be about as spicy and interesting as flour,” Shuichi shoots back, letting the game pick the track for them. “And, since you’re a wuss, you only win because of how lucky you are with the items.”

“I’m gonna kick your  _ ass, _ Saihara.”

“I can’t wait to see you try.”

“What’s that? I can’t hear you over the sound of my boss music.”

“Mhm. Sure.”


	19. Eat The Rich

To say that the Gokuhara estate is intimidating would be an immense understatement. Shuichi tries not to gasp at the sight of it, but it’s a little difficult when there’s several marble fountains in the gated front yard alone. This is, quite possibly, the nicest home—mansion? This counts as a mansion, right?—he’s ever seen. Even if he’s counting magazines and television, this still takes the cake. From the massive oak doors that dwarf  _ Gonta _ in comparison, to the impeccably kept ground and  _ enormous _ main—and holy shit there’s more than one—building, the place is completely terrifying.

And Shuichi’s already shaking.

Gonta gives him a worried smile, and Shuichi tries to give one back. But when there’s what looks like the gross domestic product of a small country’s worth of house in front of him, it’s kind of hard. “It really not as scary as it look,” Gonta assures him, and Shuichi nods, though he doesn’t quite believe it. Any person that owns a house  _ this _ big has to be terrifying.

“I’m fine, we should...let’s go inside,” Shuichi says, moving to shoulder his bag and reach for the door, but Gonta looks at him like he’s crazy. So he stops, hand halfway outstretched to the enormous iron handle. Gonta seems a little relaxed now, at least. Shuichi decides to wait and see what he’s supposed to be doing, but when Gonta takes hold of the ornate knocker, it’s kind of surprising. “You...have to knock?”

Gonta nods slowly, brows furrowed, as if it’s absurd to not be required to knock to enter one’s own home. Nevertheless, Shuichi doesn’t question him further. The doors creak open, like something out of a movie, and Shuichi has to stop himself from stumbling back. It’s all so...theatrical. There’s an enormous entry hall, pristine and white, and it  _ screams _ money. He starts to step forward, but before he can even get his foot down, there’s an attendant in what’s presumably the staff uniform—good God, there’s staff—standing before them.

“Ah, young master Gokuhara. You’re expected in the dining room,” he says as he takes their bags. Otherwise silent, he leads them through the hall, and Shuichi  _ swears _ the walls are practically made of marble, then to an equally large dining room. It’s even bigger than the one they have on campus. There are antique, ornate chairs surrounding the long, dark dining table, and there are too many fancy decorations to count. Gonta pulls Shuichi’s chair out for him, and they settle down next to each other. “Your mother will be here shortly.”

Nodding, Gonta sits up perfectly straight, and Shuichi watches the attendant leave. This is a really formal setting for just greeting one another, at least in Shuichi’s opinion. Shuichi fiddles with the collar of his turtleneck; he’s still wearing his coat, and thankfully it’s a nice one, but it’s starting to get a bit warm.

And now Shuichi’s wondering if the staff is psychic, because there’s a separate attendant standing before them asking to take their coats and offering beverages. He’s tempted to turn it down, just because he’s  _ immensely _ uncomfortable with the idea of being served in someone else’s home, but he is a little thirsty.

“Just, um, some tea would be nice, if it’s not too much trouble,” he says, and the attendant bows before retreating from the room again. Shuichi gnaws at his bottom lip as a few more awkward, silent moments pass. There’s so much tension in the room, and it’s almost tangible. “Isn’t this a little…? I don’t know, this seems so...formal.”

To his surprise, Gonta nods eagerly. “Yes, very formal,” he says, quietly, as though he’s trying to be cautious. Shuichi just keeps his mouth shut as the attendant comes back with tea in a cup that looks like it’s worth more than  _ him. _ Like ‘this kind of cup should be in a museum’ type of expensive. The attendant leaves again, and Shuichi just slumps a little in his seat. After a while, Gonta speaks up again.“Tea not good? Shuichi want something else?”

Shuichi realizes he’s been too focused on not breaking the cup that he hasn’t taken a sip for a few minutes now. “A-Ah, no, let me—I’m sorry, I’m just...nervous,” he mumbles, and he brings the cup of tea to his lips. It’s not very good—the flavors are too subtle for his taste—but he doesn’t want to bother anyone else, so he decides to just suck it up and drink it. “So...what are your parents like?”

He’d meant it as an icebreaker, but Gonta seems reluctant to answer. Before he can, the doors open, and Gonta’s sitting up even straighter than he just was, if that’s at all possible. Shuichi’s pretty sure the best course of action is to mimic him, so he also sits up straight, standing and bowing as Gonta does.

When they sit again, they’re across the table from a kind-looking woman. Well, that’s a good sign, at least; Shuichi likes to think he’s good at reading people, and Mrs. Gokuhara seems like she’s pretty nice. Not that vibes are actually a thing, but if Shuichi were to bite into Kaito’s vernacular, he’d say that’s what he’s going off of.

“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve met,” she says, and Shuichi nods, ready to introduce himself as Gonta’s friend, but of  _ course _ he doesn’t get to. “Are you—is it partner? Boyfriend?  _ Girlfriend? _ I have to say I’m quite new to the whole...well. In any case, I’m honestly a bit relieved. We thought this may never happen.” It’s said in a sort of light-hearted manner, but it doesn’t sit right with Shuichi. Gonta looks like he wants to correct her. “It’s very good to meet you…?”

“Ah—Shuichi Saihara, ma’am,” he says, but that comment still bugs at the back of his mind. A glance at Gonta is quick to give Shuichi the impression that maybe he feels like he can’t talk at all, which sets off immediate warning signals. “And, uh, it’s boyfriend. It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Gonta looks at him with wide eyes, and Shuichi just smiles at him. “I believe I’ve heard your last name before,” Mrs. Gokuhara says, and Shuichi resists the urge to cringe at her hopeful tone. It reminds him that while, yeah, his parents are kind of well-known and money isn’t usually tight, this type of financial comfort is  _ far _ beyond anything his family has ever experienced. “Are you perhaps related to a screenwriter?”

Nodding, Shuichi’s smile grows a bit tense. Jesus, not even a question about  _ him? _ Just about how influential his family might be? It’s like talking with a cartoon villain. “Yes, that’s my father,” he says, and Mrs. Gokuhara gives him an approving nod. Turning his gaze towards Gonta, Shuichi tries to do his best to be somewhat comforting. “But, um, thank you for letting me stay over the break! It’s very kind of you, I’m very much looking forward to spending so much time with Gonta.”

He laces their fingers together and beams. Anybody would be damn lucky to have Gonta, and it’s really annoying to think his own mother doesn’t think so. And while yeah, they’re not actually in a relationship, Gonta’s his friend, and a genuinely good person. He doesn’t deserve to be spoken about like that. Gonta looks nervous, and it still seems like he thinks he can’t talk, which is a separate concern.

“I hope you’ll find the estate to your tastes. It’s unusual for us to have overnight guests,” she says, and Shuichi finds that a bit odd. No family comes to visit? Well, he supposes that’s not really any of his business. Mrs. Gokuhara turns to Gonta, whose eyes widen at her sudden attention on him. Like that’s also unusual. Again—alarm bells. “Your father will be away on business until the annual holiday gala. As both of you will be attending, I’ll let you show your guest to your room so you have time to go over things and get settled. Make sure you don’t knock anything over, alright?”

Nodding, Gonta slowly stands and bows; Shuichi follows suit. Jesus,  _ two _ bows? And formal ones at that, not even just a quick respectful one. Gonta gestures for him to follow him out of the dining room. “Sorry Gonta so quiet, Gonta should have helped so Shuichi not have to lie again,” he says once they’re out of earshot. Shuichi waves him off, cheeks slightly red. The situation is sort of his own fault anyway.

“Not a big deal. It’s not anything we haven’t dealt with before, right?” he asks as they approach a large, marble staircase at the end of the long entry hall. They pass the second floor, then reach the third. By the time they’ve made it up the stairs, Shuichi’s kind of out of breath. Looking up, he realizes there are far more floors than any single family’s home should have. “Good God, your house is huge.”

Gonta chuckles at that, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he does. “Well, if Shuichi want, he can stay in guest room! O-Or one of them, anyway,” Gonta says, a bit bashful. But Shuichi shakes his head. He’d probably get lost if he doesn’t have Gonta around, judging by just how big this house is. “O-Okay! Then Gonta can show Shuichi Gonta’s room!”

The room Gonta leads him to is at the very end of the hall, and it’s absolutely enormous. It’s incredibly barren, though—no personal touches. It’s the last thing Shuichi would have expected Gonta’s bedroom to look like. A few expensive looking knick-knacks here and there, but it’s just so...empty. Shuichi wants to ask about it, but he’s not sure if it would be overstepping. Gonta gives him a tentative smile, and Shuichi grins back as best as he can.

Their bags have been set down carefully in the corner of the room, and Shuichi makes his way over to his. At least he’d been mindful to pack some of his more dressy clothes. “Hey, um, your room is really nice,” he offers, and Gonta gives him a tired smile. And, yeah, the furniture looks really high quality, and the bed looks very comfortable, even if the room lacks personality.

“Um...Shuichi? Why you say we dating? Was Gonta supposed to…?” Gonta asks after a while, and Shuichi feels his cheeks heat up. It doesn’t seem like he’s mad or upset, though, so that’s good. “Gonta okay! Just...not sure why we pretending now.”

“S-Sorry, I guess I...the way she was talking about you was just bugging me,” Shuichi admits, brows furrowed. Gonta blinks in surprise, and he looks like he’s trying to find a way to justify what she’d said. “It’s...the whole ‘didn’t think this would ever happen’ thing rubbed me the wrong way. Not to mention how patronising she was at the end there. A-And that’s not to say I don’t like your mom, I-I didn’t mean to imply—! I’m digging myself into a hole here.”

Fiddling with his tie, Gonta’s brow furrows, and his eyes scan over Shuichi’s face. “That...was not nice thing for her to say,” he says slowly, as though he isn’t really certain. Shuichi bites his lip and picks at his nails. He doesn’t want to cause trouble, but he’s of the opinion that nobody should talk to their kid like they’re an inconvenience, and that’s the tone he’d gotten. “Shuichi really think...it not okay?”

“I...I don’t know what your family dynamic is like, and I’m not trying to assume anything,” he starts, because he really isn’t, but something here definitely feels off. And Gonta had been so quiet and reserved when he’s normally so full of energy. “But I...I don’t know, it just seems mean to make a comment like that.”

A little bashfully, Gonta chuckles. “Well, she not really wrong,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. Shuichi frowns. That’s not really true, at least not in his eyes. But he should probably hear Gonta out before he says anything else. “Gonta never been in relationship before...and this one not even real. Gonta understand why they not think he gonna find someone, i-it make lot of sense, really.”

It’s rushed, quiet, ashamed. Shuichi’s heart aches for him. “Well, that’s not true at all,” he says softly, and Gonta nods, though he looks unconvinced. “Gonta, you’re a great person. You’re so kind and you’re really damn smart—like  _ crazy _ smart, you probably know more about bugs than I know about anything I’ve ever studied—and you’re super thoughtful. Anybody’d be lucky to have you.”

Gonta looks unsure, but he smiles nonetheless. “Thank you, Shuichi,” he says, and Shuichi gives his upper arm a quick squeeze before moving back towards his bag to keep unpacking. He looks around for a dresser or wardrobe or something, but there isn’t one, so he supposes he’ll just keep his clothes in his bag for now. “Oh! Shuichi need closet? S-Sorry, Gonta forgot, it behind that door right there. Ah, bathroom door also past the closet.”

Nodding, Shuichi heads over towards the door, and when he opens it, he remembers that he is, in fact, surrounded by an absurd amount of money. It’s walk-in, and it’s about as big as his bedroom back home. Shuichi pushes down the awe and shock in favor of actually getting his stuff unpacked. They’ll be here for a few weeks, unless they want to go visit one of their friends, so hopefully Shuichi can do some laundry while he’s here.

Regardless, it  _ is _ a little weird that the only clothes in this closet are suits. And some shoes, but they look relatively untouched. And while there  _ are _ suits in here, there aren’t many. The closet looks more like something displayed in a furniture store than someone’s lived-in room. Biting his tongue—it’s really none of his business, he shouldn’t have to keep reminding himself—and hanging up his clothes, Shuichi wonders if he should have brought more formal clothes.

He comes across the sweater he’d unintentionally stolen from Gonta right after fall break, and his face flushes red. “Uh, I think I got this mixed up with my stuff before we left my parents’ house,” he says, walking back over to Gonta and offering it up. Gonta looks surprised, but in any case, it seems like he’s happy to have it back. Shuichi feels compelled to explain, so he does. “I didn’t notice it was yours until Kaito pointed it out while I was wearing it—I guess I packed it with my stuff by accident—so I washed it, and, um...yeah.”

“No worries, Gonta not even notice it was gone,” Gonta admits as he tucks away the sweater in one of the closet’s drawers, and Shuichi’s a bit relieved at that. He goes back to setting his stuff in the most compact corner he can manage, and his cheeks go even redder when his stomach growls. He hasn’t eaten since before they’d caught the train here. “Is Shuichi hungry? Gonta can ask kitchen to make some food!”

“A-Ah, no, I wouldn’t want to be a bother,” he says quickly, still trying to process everything that’s happened since they’d gotten here. So far, he’s screwed up their plans of a platonic winter break, told Gonta his mother was mean, and given back a stolen sweater. Not exactly what he’d call a great start. His stomach growls again. Christ. “Um, unless...you wanted to eat.”

Stifling a chuckle behind his hand, Gonta nods. “Gonta could eat,” he says, and Shuichi smiles gently at him. He’s still a little embarrassed about being audibly hungry in the first place, and he knows Gonta’s too nice to tease him about it, but Shuichi’s far too terrified of being a burden at his house for his brain to register that. “Shuichi want a menu to order from the kitchen?”

“Wh—a menu?” Shuichi sputters, eyes wide. Gonta tilts his head in confusion, and Shuichi squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. Right. This is his normal. He probably doesn’t realize how crazy the idea of having a menu at home is. “I—Okay, nevermind, I just…is there somewhere we could just grab a snack or something? I’m not  _ that _ hungry, so…”

Gonta thinks for a moment. “Does buffet work?” he asks, and Shuichi’s eyebrows almost disappear into his hairline. Just how staffed is this place? Gonta goes a bit red and holds up his hands. “A-Ah, if Shuichi not want that, it fine! Gonta can ask for something else, it no trouble, really! Um, we can go down and ask…?”

“That’s...probably a good idea,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods. Gonta nods his head towards the door to the bedroom, He follows Gonta back down the multiple sets of stairs—God, he’d forgotten about that—and down towards the kitchen. Gonta leads him over towards what looks like a kitchen pass-through straight out of a bistro and looks towards him. “D-Do I just...what do I do, exactly?”

He hates how high-pitched his voice had gotten towards the end of the question. Gonta furrows his brow. “Shuichi can just tell them what he want to eat,” he says quietly, and Shuichi wonders why he’s being so cautious. Still, he’s a bit reluctant, and Gonta seems to sense that. “A plate of steak, rice, and soup, please!”

One of the cooks Shuichi can see through the window nods and calls out the order; Shuichi realizes there are a whole lot of cooks now that he’s getting a proper look. “Um, i-if it’s not much trouble, can I just have some, uh, chips o-or something?” he asks, and the cook who’d taken Gonta’s order raises an eyebrow at him. Gonta just nods, and the cook calls out to the rest of the kitchen. In less than five minutes, their requests are handed back to them. “Well, that was...really quick.”

Gonta chuckles and nods, leading Shuichi back to the entry hall—honestly, he’d probably have gotten lost on his own—and they very nearly run into Gonta’s mother, who seems to be on her way out, judging by the obscenely expensive-looking fur coat she’s wearing. “Oh, I see you boys have gotten yourselves something to eat,” she says, though she raises an eyebrow when she sees how much food is on Gonta’s plate compared to Shuichi’s. “That much? Before dinner, even?”

Once again, Shuichi is astounded by how bold this woman is in her meanness. Unfortunately, Gonta seems to have taken her words with great upset, and Shuichi can’t blame him. “Actually, ma’am, i-it’s for me,” he says, and she blinks in surprise. “I was super embarrassed about wanting a lot of food—I haven’t eaten since the crack of dawn. So Gonta was very sweet and offered to order for me.”

He places a hand on Gonta’s upper arm gently for good measure and smiles up at him. Mrs. Gokuhara seems at least placated by that, considering she gives the two of them a nod as an attendant accompanies her through the big oak doors right after. Gonta’s quiet as he takes Shuichi back upstairs to his room.

“Gonta never eaten in here before,” he says as Shuichi settles on the edge of the bed, taking one of the grossly healthy chips and nibbling the corner. Bewildered, Shuichi just stares at him. They hadn’t eaten in Shuichi’s room back at his folks’ place, either, but a snack here and there isn’t abnormal. “It just...Gonta not usually eat other than mealtimes.”

Shuichi decides it’s best to just smile and nod. He’s still completely flabbergasted by this whole situation. Sure, he’s added a bit to the craziness, but the crazy  _ here _ is mostly not his fault. The idea of a house being staffed like a company might be is absolutely insane to him. It’s probably insane to most people. But this is Gonta’s normal, so Shuichi should do his best to understand it better and acclimate in order to cause no further problems for his relatively unwilling co-conspirator. It’s the least he can do.

But something’s still bothering him. “Is—I’m just curious, and you can totally tell me to shut up if you want, or if I’m prying, but...is that how she always talks to you?” he asks as Gonta picks at—and doesn’t eat—his rice. Evidently a little surprised, Gonta just shrugs, wide-eyed. “It’s absolutely fine if you don’t want to answer, but you haven’t eaten anything since before the train either, right? You know what you ordered is perfectly normal and I eat like a bird, right?”

Shuichi doesn’t know why this is bugging him so much. But that comment, amongst most of the things he’s heard Mrs. Gokuhara say, is just rubbing him the wrong way. It’s so condescending and rude, and Gonta shouldn’t have to take that. He hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s just food, and Gonta’s insanely fit anyway, and  _ dammit _ Shuichi’s going to overthink about this too. Is he just causing more problems for Gonta? Maybe he should just shut his mouth and let things happen. Maybe questioning stuff is going to do nothing but make a rift.

“Shuichi want any?” Gonta asks instead, offering his plate, and Shuichi bites his lip. That is definitely not the reaction he’d been going for. At his reaction, Gonta just smiles sadly. “Gonta okay. Promise. Just...not hungry.”

“Eat,” Shuichi tells him, pushing the plate back towards him. Gonta still looks hesitant, but he  _ does _ take a few bites of steak. Shuichi smiles at him. As he takes the bite, though, Shuichi stifles a laugh at how animalistic he looks. It’s not a bad thing, Gonta just sort of tugs at the steak with his canines like how a wolf might. But Shuichi also notices something else. “Are—Gonta, are your teeth...sharp?”

Gonta blinks at him, and he does that little head tilt. “Sharp? Are teeth not...s’posed to be sharp?” he asks, poking at his canines with furrowed brows. Shuichi gives him a nervous smile, and Gonta’s eyes go wide. He clamps his mouth shut and goes red. Hand over his mouth, he mumbles, “It look bad…?”

“N-No, no, it’s fine—your teeth are—it’s fine, it’s cute,” Shuichi tells him, cheeks a bit pink as he realizes his comment could very easily be misconstrued. But Gonta doesn’t seem to mind, only smiling, albeit close-mouthed. “Is that something that’s, uh, common…? When it comes to growing up in the woods, I mean.”

A little sadly, Gonta laughs and shrugs. “Gonta not know many other people that grew up in forest,” he says, and Shuichi’s a bit surprised at the teasing tone, “but, um, dunno. Gonta’s human family not really like forest traits...they say it make Gonta seem unsophisticated, and that not very gentlemanly. So Gonta not really like those things about him when he back here, a-at home.”

“Well, that’s stupid. O-Of them! Not you, you’re not—I really am digging myself into a hole today, aren’t I?” Shuichi chuckles nervously, and Gonta bites his lip. “I just think you shouldn’t have to be afraid to be yourself in your own home, Gonta. Not that it’s any of my business, but it kind of seems like you are. Which...that’s a shame. Because you’re a really nice, interesting, fun person to be around.”

Gonta positively lights up.


	20. What Rich People Do For Fun

“So...what exactly are we doing?” Shuichi asks, sliding his gloves on. They’re a cheap pair he’d gotten at a thrift store a few years back, and they kind of pale in comparison to Gonta’s luxury suede ones. Gonta just puts his finger to his lips and shakes his head. Shuichi’s not really a fan of surprises. Well, that’s a lie. He’s fine with surprises when he can be sure that they’re reasonably priced ones. “Okay, okay, I trust you.”

Beaming, Gonta leads him downstairs, but they’re not going out of the entry hall. “We have to leave out back,” he says, and he takes Shuichi through some more winding corridors out to another hallway. It’s kind of nice. For some reason, the idea of doing something without being prepared isn’t causing him intense inner turmoil for once.

It’s not snowing, but it sure feels cold enough that Shuichi’s pretty sure it should be. Regardless, Gonta’s taking him across the grounds towards a relatively homely-looking cabin. Homely in the way that it pales in comparison to the enormous main mansion, but it’s still ridiculously extravagant. “So...where exactly are we?” he asks as Gonta seems to bounce with excited energy beside him.

“The stables!” Gonta chirps, and Shuichi feels the color drain from his face. Gonta seems to notice, and his excitement fades a little. Trying not to ruin this like he’d ruined an entire day for Gonta not even two days ago, Shuichi decides to grin and bear it. But Gonta isn’t fooled, surprisingly enough. “Shuichi…? You okay? I-It fine if you not wanna go riding!”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Shuichi hurries to assure him. His face twists up in distaste a moment later, though. “Horses are just...I don’t know. They’re kind of scary. And one time, I read that they’re omnivores, which absolutely terrifies me, because they’re much bigger than I am, and their mouths are really big, and I just really am not a fan of horses. So if we could just, uh...sit on the same one, that would probably make me less scared…”

He’s pretty sure that’ll work. The rational part of his brain knows that there’s no way a horse would eat him or attempt to do so, and the feral, illogical part of his brain is also reassured by the idea that Gonta could probably best a horse in physical combat, and that he’s more likely to do so if there’s only one to fight. Which is an insane thought. Totally and completely implausible, and yet it’s pretty much all he’s thinking about.

“Shuichi…? You okay?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi snaps out of his horse fight daze, nodding with pink cheeks. Gonta smiles and leads him into the stables. “Okay, Shuichi can pick a horse he not very scared of if he wanna! Gonta just gonna talk to Kasumi, let him know when you ready, alright?”

With that, he’s off to a girl standing by the big gate at the back of the stables. She’s in uniform—probably one of the staff, if Shuichi has to guess—and it’s very form-fitting. Face rather red, Shuichi turns back to the long faces of he horses. It would make sense, considering she’s running the stables, working with animals, and doing something athletic.

There are a few horses that don’t  _ immediately _ strike fear into him. There’s an okay grey one, a pretty silvery one, and an oddly charming ugly brown horse. As he turns towards Gonta, he blinks in surprise. The girl, Kasumi, is apparently very entertained by what Gonta has to say, but there’s no way the laugh she’s giving him isn’t fake. Which honestly rubs Shuichi the wrong way; sure, he supposes Gonta’s technically her boss, but Gonta doesn’t really joke around that much in the first place.

And then she puts her hand on his arm and gives that bubbly fake laugh, and it’s completely eye-roll worthy. Part of Shuichi wonders if she’s trying to schmooze  _ because _ Gonta’s her boss. If that’s the case, it could be true she’s trying to take advantage of how kind he is, and that fills Shuichi with an inexplicable rage.

So he marches himself over as coolly and calmly as he can manage and takes hold of Gonta’s arm with both of his own. “Hey, babe, I think I found one,” he says, smiling up at Gonta and side-eyeing Kasumi as he does. Gonta’s cheeks flush and he gives Shuichi a confused look, so Shuichi leans up and whispers the first, hushed excuse he can think of. “I figured we should probably keep up the act around everyone.”

With a hum, Gonta turns his head and presses a quick kiss to Shuichi’s nose. “That a good idea, Shuichi,” he says, low enough that Kasumi can’t hear as he puts his arm around Shuichi’s waist and follows him over to the okay grey horse he’d found himself not terrified of earlier. “Oh, this one? Perfect! Kasumi, can you take him out?”

His voice sounds carefully measured, and Shuichi’s brows furrow. Though, with a glare at Shuichi, Kasumi leads the horse out and bows to Gonta. Ever the gentleman, Gonta offers a hand up to the saddle, and Shuichi gladly takes his offer. Gonta comes to sit behind him, arms around his middle to take hold of the reins.

“I’m glad you’re taking charge, I have no clue how this works,” Shuichi admits without hesitation, eyes wide with fear as the horse starts moving and he holds onto the saddle for dear life. Gonta chuckles, a deep-sounding vibration pressed against Shuichi’s back. “Also, where exactly are we going?”

They’ve been trotting along for a few minutes, and, if Shuichi had to guess, all of his muscles have tensed up and not relaxed since the moment he sat down in the saddle. “Relax, is all gonna be alright! Gonta make sure nothing happen to you, okay?” Gonta reassures him, and Shuichi takes a deep breath. “We just heading out on the trails, that all. Just a quick ride. But if Shuichi wanna head back early, that okay too!”

“N-No, it’s fine, I’m...I’ll be fine,” Shuichi says. If this is what Gonta does for fun at home, it’s probably worth dealing with horses for a bit. It’s the least he can do. And the trail  _ is _ beautiful, even if he’s got a vice grip on that thingy that sticks up from the front of the saddle. “So, do you come up here much when you’re home?”

Gonta hums, and there’s another resonating vibration that passes from his body through Shuichi’s. “Not a lot. Gonta only come out here when he wanna get away. The woods up here very nice,” he says quietly, and Shuichi nods. That’s certainly true. The sight of the slightly iced branches of near-dead trees and the frost that gathers on sparse pine needles is very pretty. “So, uh, Shuichi not like horses very much?”

A bit embarrassed, Shuichi chuckles as his cheeks get a bit red. It’s not too much, so he can probably just write it off as the cold if Gonta asks, which he’s probably not going to, considering he doesn’t really poke fun at Shuichi’s embarrassment. That is, if he even notices it in the first place. “I mean, I have nothing against those cute tiny ones,” Shuichi says, and Gonta hums again. The winter air is crisp and honestly kind of nice as Gonta moves the reins in a way that makes the horse go faster. “But the bigger the horse, the more capacity there is for malice.”

Gonta bursts out laughing, and Shuichi’s almost tempted to turn around and grin at him. But his paralyzing fear of falling off and being trampled stops him from doing so. “Horses not mean! If you treat them nice,” he adds, and Shuichi huffs out a laugh. They ride in silence for a while; the longer they ride, the more wooded the area gets. It’s not unpleasant, though. “Oh! Shuichi wanna see Gonta’s favorite spot to go to?”

He doesn’t see why not. “Sure,” he agrees easily, and Gonta sits up even straighter. Shuichi lets himself lean into him a bit. Gonta’s like a human space heater, after all. They head a little deeper into the woods, but the frosted trees are getting a bit sparse again. If he had to guess—and Shuichi is definitely lacking in forest knowledge—they’re probably coming to a clearing. “Oh, are we stopping?”

Sure enough, they’re slowing down, and Gonta suddenly stops the horse, hopping off and offering Shuichi a hand down. Glad to have some help, Shuichi takes it, and he watches as Gonta takes the reins and carefully wraps them and some extra rope taken from the horse’s saddle bags around a tree trunk. Then, his hands come over Shuichi’s eyes.

“Shuichi trust Gonta, right?” he asks, and Shuichi gives him a very hesitant nod. Gently nudging him forward, Gonta begins to lead Shuichi towards whatever it is he wants to show him. This is very odd, but Shuichi finds that he doesn’t really mind all that much. “Okay, little bit left, there a rock right there—ah! Careful! Okay, now...yeah. Perfect! Shuichi can open his eyes now!”

“Gonta,  _ your _ hands are the ones over my eyes,” Shuichi reminds him, and Gonta lets out a little embarrassed laugh as he pulls them away. Then, Shuichi gets a good look at the view in front of him, and he finds himself a little breathless. “Oh, wow, Gonta, this is...wow…”

There’s a beautiful, half-frozen waterfall a little ways away; the rocky ledge that they’re settled on seems sturdy, but the jaggedness of the edge gives it even more charm. The stream goes around the ice elegantly, and it’s just quiet enough that they could talk at a normal volume without being disturbed. The few trees around the clearing have formed icicles, whose light reflections create a crisscross of winter sun, scattered across the ground.

It’s so charming and wonderful and secret that Shuichi can’t help but wonder what had compelled Gonta to share such a natural wonder. “Shuichi like it?” Gonta asks, and he looks a little nervous, almost as though he’d been genuinely worried Shuichi wouldn’t. Nodding, Shuichi steps forward a bit to get a better look at the waterfall, but he trips over a root protruding from the dirt. Thankfully, Gonta catches him, and Shuichi smiles nervously. “Careful...Gonta not want you to be hurt…”

“Thanks. I-I’m okay, but I’m really glad you caught me,” Shuichi tells him, and the sudden winter air hitting him as Gonta’s touch leaves his arms sends a shiver down his spine. “Gonta, this place is so...wonderful. It’s so nice here, honestly, I genuinely appreciate you taking me here. I-I have to admit, though, I’m kind of curious as to why you brought me.”

A bit red, though probably just from the cold, Gonta shrugs. “Just...Shuichi very kind. T-To Gonta. And sometimes it hard for Gonta to tell difference between actually nice and...for other benefit nice, but just like with forgiving, Gonta not have to worry about that with Shuichi,” he says, and while Shuichi’s touched by the sentiment, he still doesn’t really get why Gonta had brought him here. “This where Gonta come to when he feel like no one being...actually nice, so since Shuichi always kind, Gonta know is safe for Shuichi to be here too.”

Breath catching in his throat, Shuichi feels a familiar sting at the corners of his eyes. “Y-Yeah, no, that’s...thank you, Gonta, I-I don’t know what to say,” he stutters out, voice wavering a bit as he nervously rubs his arm. “With all of the crazy things I’ve caused for you, I am...really, really glad you don’t hate me. Your friendship means a lot to me, man.”

The corners of Gonta’s lips quirk up, and he sits down on a boulder towards the back of the clearing. Shuichi notices there’s probably enough room for two, so he settles next to Gonta, gloved hands in his pockets. The view is nice; it’s perfect for looking out over the waterfall, and there are some—albeit, very old—tracks in the dirt that make him wonder whether Gonta had dragged the boulder over one day to get this perfect view.

“Gonta hope staying here not...too weird for Shuichi. You like it here?” he asks, and Shuichi nods. Even if he’s still not used to the crazy rich shenanigans, it’s quiet. Pleasantly so. Gonta looks a little relieved. “That good. Gonta very glad.”

They sit in silence for a little bit. Shuichi switches between watching the waterfall and the slow progression of the light reflected from the icicles across the ground. It’s nice, sitting here with Gonta. Despite his very outward enthusiastic demeanor, Gonta’s also really nice to just sit down and chill out with. Shuichi wonders if it would be out of line to lean his head on Gonta’s shoulder. After a while, the itch for talk nags at the back of Shuichi’s head, and apparently his brain takes that as a cue to say something very stupid.

“So...you and the stable girl? Kitsumi or whatever?” he blurts, and Gonta startles. Shuichi feels his face heat up as Gonta furrows his brows and tilts his head, though this isn’t a curious head tilt, it’s more of a what-the-hell head tilt. Shuichi’s embarrassment is rapidly increasing, so he tries to play his failed discussion starter off. “Just...trying to make conversation.”

“No, Gonta...definitely not like her like that,” he says seemingly amused, and Shuichi lets out a breath he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding. It’s quiet for another moment—awkward, more than anything. “Shuichi know Gonta...not like girls, right? And—Gonta not wanna sound like jerk, but...if Gonta did, he prolly wouldn’t like girls that pretend-laugh at everything Gonta say. Even when it not jokes.”

At that, Shuichi snorts. It must have been even more obvious up-close than it had been from across the stable. “If I were you, I wouldn’t date  _ anyone _ that willingly works with horses,” he jokes, and Gonta stifles a laugh behind his hand. The quiet falls much more pleasantly, then, but Shuichi’s still kind of curious about something else. “Hey, um...is this what rich people do for fun? Just...ride horses and stare at pretty things and never have to worry about money?”

Gonta huffs out a little chuckle and smiles. “Kinda. Gonta’s parents also throw galas sometimes, though,” he says thoughtfully, then his whole expression drops. Shuichi wonders what’s gotten him so spooked, but then he remembers what Mrs. Gokuhara had said on their first day at the estate. They never had discussed it. “Gonta so,  _ so _ sorry...only thing for the holidays is—it a very boring and tiring party, a-and if Shuichi wanna stay in Gonta’s room the whole time, that okay with Gonta—”

“Hey, it’s...totally fine. I’m fine with mingling for a night with people who make more money in a day than I’ll make in my entire life,” he teases, but Gonta’s still frowning. Shuichi pats Gonta’s knee and smiles gently. “I mean it, I’m completely okay. Honestly, I’d go to as many rich people parties you want me to. To make up for this whole situation. Besides, it’s not like we’re going to have to dance or anything, so it’s...oh, no, why did that make you look more sad?”

A pit of dread settles in Shuichi’s stomach, and Gonta winces. “I-It mostly just greeting guests and eating. With so many forks,” Gonta says, eyes wide, and Shuichi feels like—as funny as that was—now is not the time to laugh. And Gonta still looks very nervous. “But...everybody expected to do one dance—it very boring dance, too. B-But gentlemanly! A-And Gonta usually have to dance with stranger, so it kinda nice to have Shuichi here.”

Hugging his arms to himself, Shuichi bites his lip. “I don’t know, Gonta, I...I’m honestly a really horrible dancer. I don’t even know how to do anything other than bob my head along to songs o-or just tap my foot, I…” he trails off, taking a deep breath. “I’m just...not a very good dancer, and I’d hate to embarrass you in front of all those people.”

Gonta’s got an oddly determined look on his face now, and Shuichi’s suddenly ten times more concerned for what’s left of his dignity. “Anyone can dance! And Shuichi always so good at anything he do, Gonta sure you can do good job dancing!” he says, and while Shuichi is certainly flattered, it’s a little far-fetched. But then Gonta’s standing and scrolling through his phone, and as the soft, jazzy tunes of an older sounding song fill the clearing, he offers a hand to Shuichi, setting his phone down on the boulder.

“Oh, I-I don’t—”

“There no people here now,” Gonta interrupts, and Shuichi holds his hands up in front of him, ready to do his hardest to get out of any sort of dancing. He’d make a fool of himself, and he’d rather not sully Gonta’s impression of him. But when he scans Gonta’s expression, there’s no judgement there, only hope. So he takes Gonta’s hand. “You want Gonta to lead?”

Shuichi nods. That’s probably their best course of action. Gonta takes Shuichi’s hand and places it on his shoulder—it’s a bit of a stretch. He rests his own on Shuichi’s waist and takes his other hand gently, bringing it up to chest height. Chest height for Gonta, at least. It’s not unpleasant, but Shuichi’s still really apprehensive about dancing at all.

The Halloween party was one thing; they’d all been purposefully being stupid, so Shuichi hadn’t had to worry about  _ seeming  _ stupid. But slow-dancing at a big, fancy gala? Not on his watch, no sir. Granted, he’s probably also overthinking everything. It’s just Gonta in front of him right now, someone who Shuichi knows would never laugh at him or judge him. Even if Shuichi wrecks everything.

Oh, dear God, he’s going to wreck everything.

“I-I don’t know about this,” Shuichi whispers, making to pull away, but Gonta’s hand moves from just holding his waist to holding the small of his back, and he finds himself a bit breathless at the act. This feels much more intimate, and Shuichi’s not entirely sure he’s a fan of that. “I’m serious, I really don’t know what I’m doing, Gonta.”

“Gonta not really know either,” he admits, and Shuichi scrunches up his face in confusion. With a simple shrug, Gonta smiles and starts swaying. “This usually fine enough. No pressure. Just sway with rhythm. That never get complaints.” Shuichi nods and tries his hardest to sync himself up with Gonta, but it’s not working. He’s so afraid he’s going to trip, his feet end up basically planted to the ground. “Shuichi, just relax, it okay.”

Right. It’s just Gonta. It’s just a dance in the woods. Nobody can see them, except maybe for the horse, so it’s fine. Taking a shaky breath, Shuichi forces his muscles to loosen up a bit, and he just sways to the rhythm, rather than trying to match what Gonta’s doing. And it works much better; they’re  _ actually _ swaying in sync now.

In a relatively bold move, for Shuichi, at least, Gonta starts to move them in a little circle, and when Shuichi worries that he’s going to trip, he reminds himself of that steadying hand on the small of his back. As long as it’s just him and Gonta, he doesn’t have to worry about it. Gonta’s such a nice person; he’d never laugh at Shuichi for stumbling or doing something wrong. That’s just the kind of friend he is.

Thinking about it like that makes dancing a lot easier. The soft, jazzy tune is really easy to follow, and Shuichi has no complaints about Gonta’s song choice. And their hands slot together so easily. When Shuichi’s arm is just a little strained from stretching so much, all he has to do is say so, and Gonta’s coming just a bit closer to relieve it. It’s really nice.

And while the cold bites at the exposed skin on their faces, Shuichi feels pretty warm and cozy as it is. There’s still no snow, and there’s the occasional whinny from the horse, which Shuichi is still astounded Gonta had managed to convince him to agree to. This whole situation is something Shuichi would have scoffed at the idea of if someone had suggested it not even a few months ago, but it’s weirdly charming.

At least it’s  _ him _ dancing with Gonta and not that stupid stable girl.

Wait.

That’s a very out-of-the-blue train of thought, even for Shuichi’s addled mind. But no, it’s like Gonta had said earlier. Kasumi isn’t someone he’d be interested in if he were into girls, and Shuichi really shouldn’t be thinking about this. It doesn’t even matter. Why is he even thinking about this anyway?

It doesn’t make sense for him to be worked up over this. Logically, there’s no reason he should have had that thought in the first place. Their relationship is fake, he doesn’t have romantic feelings for Gonta, and Gonta wouldn’t even be interested in the girl Shuichi’s brain is currently upset with. Why is his mind so worked up about it? There’s got to be some reason he’s overthinking this so much.

No, he just has to let it go. He had just been concerned for his friend and the idea of him being with that stable girl, so that’s why he’d asked. Wait, no, that’s not even the thought that had made him spiral in the first place. Shuichi wants to scream at his brain for derailing, but he figures it doesn’t matter. He’s sure he’d be equally concerned if it were Kaito or Kaede or Maki or any number of his other friends.

So that’s that, he supposes.

Well, in all of his overthinking, Shuichi’s brain had decided to lose track of what his feet had been doing, and he trips backwards, tugging Gonta with him. He’s afraid they’re both going to go toppling over onto the hard ground, or, worse, onto the boulder, but that isn’t what happens. His eyes are shut and he’s braced himself for impact, but Shuichi never comes close to making contact with the ground.

Instead, he’s nose-to-nose with Gonta, who’d caught him. Their dancing had made it easy, evidently, and it kind of looks as though it had been an intentional dip. Shuichi almost laughs at the absurdity of it. “I’m...really sorry,” he says, and Gonta just shakes his head with that soft smile as he helps Shuichi to stand again. The music has also ended, so Gonta lets go of him to grab his phone. “So I guess that  _ is _ what rich people do for fun.”

Chuckling, Gonta glances up at the sky and down at his phone again. His soft smile quickly shifts to a frown, and he nods towards the horse. “We should prolly go. It gonna get dark soon,” he says, carding his fingers through his bangs, and Shuichi nods. They walk in silence back to the horse, but before Gonta helps him up, he speaks up again. “If Shuichi still not wanna dance at the gala, that okay. Gonta not want you to ever feel uncomfy. But...Shuichi should also know that Gonta think you a very good dancer.”

As his cheeks flush at the praise, Shuichi nods. “I’ll think about it,” he says.


	21. What Normal People Do For Fun

Shuichi’s still not used to waking up in this bed. It’s so soft and plush and almost ridiculously luxurious, and when the sun comes up, the intense whiteness of the sheets makes the entire bed a natural alarm clock. It’s so nice, and even if the room is colder than Shuichi’s used to, the comforter and sheets are warm enough that the temperature is perfect.

But it seems extra bright this morning, and Shuichi squints as his eyes open. “Mnh...what time is it?” he asks, but it falls on deaf ears, considering Gonta’s still quietly snoring on the other side of the bed. With a groggy chuckle, Shuichi sits up fully and stretches. A look at the window immediately makes him aware of the fact that there’s a light flurry of snow happening right outside. “Oh my God, it’s  _ snowing! _ Gonta, wake up! It’s snowing!”

He shakes Gonta’s shoulder, and the second Gonta opens his eyes, Shuichi is met with an intense glare. Right. He’d forgotten how grumpy Gonta can be in the mornings. “It just snowing,” he grumbles, turning over again, and Shuichi frowns. Of all people, he’d expected Gonta to be a little more excited about the snow.

For Shuichi, snow has always meant getting to goof off and play around with his siblings; it’s always been far better than playing in the summer. In the cold, you can control how cold you are, but in the heat, you can’t really do anything about how hot you are. Besides, with winter comes hot cocoa and snowmen and snowball fights, and to Shuichi, that’s just better than maybe getting to jump in a public pool once every two weeks of summer break.

“Okay, don’t murder me for interrupting your sleep, but I think we should go out and do stuff today! Early, because it might get warmer around noon, and I’d hate for all the snow to be melted,” he says, trying and failing to get Gonta to wake up. “We’ll get you some coffee to wake you up, and then we can go outside and do stuff! C’mon, please, I promise I won’t keep you out there for too long.”

Turning to glare at Shuichi again over his shoulder, Gonta shakes his head. “Why you wanna go  _ outside _ in the snow?” Gonta asks, as if the answer isn’t obvious. Shuichi’s brow furrows, but Gonta’s already turned to face away from him again. Shuichi leans back on his hands and sighs; he doesn’t understand why Gonta isn’t at least a little excited about this. “Snow is cold and wet and Gonta not going outside at eight in the morning.”

Well, that’s at least a bit begrudgingly helpful in giving Shuichi an explanation for Gonta’s surprising lack of enthusiasm about the snow. “Okay, we can wait, that’s no problem,” he says, but his—albeit slightly juvenile—excitement is getting the better of him now. “But why don’t you want to go out? We can make a snowman if you want!”

Gonta turns to face him now, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Make a what?” he asks, seemingly unamused. Does he not know what a snowman is? Nevertheless, Gonta sighs and sits up, rolling his shoulders a few times and stretching. “If Shuichi really want Gonta to get up, he will. Gonta still not understand, but Shuichi seem excited.”

“Thank you,” Shuichi says, his whole face brightening up. He immediately moves to the closet to go get changed, and as he exchanges his baggy old t-shirt for a sweater, he takes a glance back at the bed. Of course, Gonta’s half-asleep, but he’s sitting up. “Why aren’t you more excited about this? We get to have a snow day, man!”

“Well, it just snowing,” Gonta says again, voice still rough with sleep, and Shuichi crosses his arms. Again, the lack of enthusiasm is throwing him for a loop. Shuichi pulls on some actual pants and his coat, and he stands at the edge of the bed, trying his best not to bounce on the balls of his feet. “Shuichi, what you so excited about?”

Okay, now this is just concerning. Shuichi had attempted to chalk it up to Gonta being tired and grumpy, but he’s not even starting to perk up yet. “Gonta, we can go goof around in the snow all morning,” Shuichi tells him, and Gonta makes a face. That’s extremely unusual. “Okay, really, why are you not excited?”

Gonta tilts his head in confusion, brows furrowed. “Wait, is Gonta...s’posed to  _ want _ to go in snow?” he asks, like this is a sudden realization he’s coming to and not something commonly known. It’s like a shock to him. “Snow cold a-and hard to survive in...and Gonta not usually allowed out in snow anyway.”

“Wh—Gonta, have you never had a snow day?” Shuichi asks, but he regrets doing so immediately after the words leave his mouth. Now that he thinks about it logically, it would make perfect sense for Gonta to have no clue what normal people do when it snows. He’s got ten years of societal absence, and paired with what little—and terrible—information Shuichi has about Gonta’s parents, if he doesn’t know what a snow day is, it’s likely not his fault.

Shaking his head, Gonta gets out of bed. “Is, um...Shuichi, can Gonta ask what snow day is?” he asks timidly, and Shuichi doesn’t even know where to begin. Evidently, his being conflicted shows, and Gonta just starts guessing. “We not gonna  _ eat _ snow...right?”

“N-No, that’s—! I mean, there  _ are _ snowcones, but that’s more for summer than—doesn’t matter,” Shuichi says, and Gonta blinks at him. In a moment of clarity, Shuichi realizes exactly what he’s going to do today. Firmly placing his hands on Gonta’s shoulders, Shuichi summons up as much confidence as he can, which, frankly, isn’t much. “I am going to show you how much fun a snow day can be.”

Still a little hesitant, Gonta nods. “Can Gonta...go change now?” he asks after a moment, and Shuichi goes red as he steps back and lets him go. Gonta smiles awkwardly at him and heads into the closet, and Shuichi sits on the edge of the bed, his leg bouncing as he waits. When Gonta comes back out, he’s wearing a black peacoat that Shuichi’s fairly sure is worth way more than his nicest watch, and a really nice maroon scarf that sort of brings out his eyes. “Ready?”

*****

The grounds are still way too damn beautiful, even covered in snow. They’re out front, and the frozen fountains almost distract Shuichi from his mission. Right. He’s going to give Gonta the best snow day ever. “So, do you wanna start with a snowball fight or a snowman?” he asks, and Gonta looks horrified. “Wh—? Gonta, what’s wrong?”

“Gonta not wanna fight Shuichi!” he says, eyes wide, and Shuichi hurries to correct him, but he goes on before Shuichi can stop him. “Gonta would never hurt Shuichi! Shuichi know that, right? Ah, maybe we should go back inside! B-But Shuichi wanna go outside today, but Gonta not wanna fight!”   
  


“N-No, that’s not what a snowball fight is! It’s not, like, an  _ actual _ fight, I...you know what? Why don’t we start with the snowman instead, then?” he offers, and Gonta’s shoulders slump in relief. He looks eager to learn, but he eyes the snow Shuichi’s standing in warily. “You can step off the path, y’know. The snow doesn’t bite, I promise.”

Gonta raises an eyebrow, but he cautiously steps into the snow nonetheless. Shuichi grins at him. “So...what Gonta supposed to do now?” he asks, hunched over a little awkwardly. “Wait, snowman not gonna come alive, right?”

Bewildered, Shuichi shakes his head. “Of course not, where did you—oh, right, the Disney movie,” he says, a little discouraged, but he’s not going to let that get to him. He takes a little bit of snow and packs it into a ball. “So, if you take a bunch of snow and roll it into a ball, and then you keep going until you get  _ enough _ snow, we can build a snowman! My siblings and I usually just went for two balls on our snowpeople, just because it didn’t usually snow enough for three, but the snow here is pretty deep! It’s perfect for a snow day.”

With a relatively determined look on his face, Gonta nods and grabs a heaping handful of snow, wincing when it seems to seep through his gloves. “Ah, hands supposed to be this cold?” he asks, and Shuichi nods. He takes the little ball and uses the snow Gonta had picked up to make it pretty sizeable. “Shuichi need more snow now?”

“Hm...it should be fine if we roll it,” he says, and Gonta tilts his head a bit. So Shuichi demonstrates. He puts the snowball on the ground and crouches down, taking the surrounding snow and packing it on. “See? And now if we roll it…! Hah! It’s working! D’you wanna start on another one while I make this one bigger?”

A bit startled, Gonta nods and picks up some more snow. Shuichi focuses on rolling around their current snowball to make a base. He manages to get it to a pretty decent size, and as he turns to check on Gonta’s progress, his jaw drops. It’s almost a perfect sphere, and it’s even bigger than the snowball Shuichi had been working on.

“This okay?” Gonta asks, and he looks nervous. Which he shouldn’t be, considering his snowman base is virtually flawless, but Shuichi just nods. “Shuichi sure it not too big? Gonta try to keep it smaller—oh no! Gonta messed up, sorry—”

“No, no, it’s okay! We’ll just use yours as the base instead, no worries,” Shuichi tells him, and Gonta nods. Shuichi takes his smaller snowball and places it on top of Gonta’s, trying to smooth down the rougher edges as he does. “Mine’s more of a dodecahedron, but it’ll do. Right! Now we have to make the head.”

Gonta nods and starts to form another ball. Shuichi grabs some snow and adds to it. It’s not going to be big enough to roll, but as long as they work together, it should be fine. “It seem good now,” Gonta says, sizing the snowball up with the other two-thirds of the snowman they’ve started. Shuichi beams at him and gestures for him to put it on top. So he does, and Shuichi steps back to look at their snowman with a smile. “So...what now?”

Glancing from Gonta to the snowman, Shuichi gets an idea. He unwraps his scarf from around his neck and places it around the snowman’s. The wind chill hitting his neck makes him shiver, but the snowman’s starting to look kind of cute. There aren’t any sticks around—probably because the grounds are immaculately kept by a bunch of staff—but Shuichi can make do with some icicles hanging from the frozen fountains.

“Do we have any—” Shuichi cuts himself off as a maroon scarf wraps around his neck. He looks up at Gonta, who shrugs, a bit red in the face. If the cold is biting at his cheeks so much,  _ he _ should be the one with the scarf. “Thanks, but I-I’m fine, really! You should wear your scarf, Gonta, take it.”

But Gonta just shakes his head with a soft smile and draws a smiley face on the snowman’s head with his finger. “It not look like movie snowman, but it still very cute,” he declares, and Shuichi smiles, glad he’s having fun. That sort of gives him an idea, and he scoops down to grab some snow and pack it into a ball before Gonta can turn around. “So, what next—?”

The snowball connects with Gonta’s shoulder and explodes into a billion flakes. Shuichi grins nervously.  _ “This _ is a snowball fight,” he says, gathering up some more snow and packing it into a ball. “We try to toss snowballs at each other! With my siblings, we usually play in teams, but since it’s just the two of us, it’ll probably be easier to keep track of who’s winning. We can even make snow forts if you want!”

“How you win a snowball fight?” Gonta asks, grabbing some snow and packing it into his own little snowball. Shuichi gestures for him to throw it, and he does, albeit too soft to make it explode on Shuichi rather than the ground when it lands with a plop in the snow. “Ah, s-sorry, Gonta just not wanna hurt Shuichi…”

“I have an older brother that doesn’t know his own strength and two ruthless teenage brothers, you can hit me harder than that. I promise I can take a snowball to the face just fine,” Shuichi tells him, stifling a laugh. Gonta nods and smiles sheepishly at him. “Oh! And we win when we go back inside and drink hot cocoa by the fire. That’s the prize for winning.”

Gonta looks confused. “So...there no winner?” he asks, and Shuichi shrugs. There’s no rules in snowball fights, so for Shuichi, he wins when his face is no longer stinging from the cold and there’s a mug of hot chocolate under his nose. “Okay! Gonta can do snowball fight with Shuichi if we both win! Oh, a-and how do snow forts work?”

Shuichi perks up at that, and he drops down towards the ground to make a little mound of snow and duck behind it. “Like that,” he says, peeking up from it, and Gonta laughs silently, his shoulders shaking a little. “So...wanna get started?”

“Okay!” Gonta says, and, looking a lot more excited for goofing off in the snow than he had earlier this morning, he strides a good distance across the grounds and starts building up his own little snow mound.

Starting to build on his previous work, Shuichi’s eyes go wide as a snowball whizzes past his head. Then another, and he ducks down to avoid being hit. He packs his own snowball and jumps up, tossing it at Gonta. He’s not very hidden, all things considered, but that’s probably more because of his height than lack of effort with his snow fort.

Chuckling as he gets behind his defense again, Shuichi starts forming some ammo. Gonta’s next snowball takes a good chunk off the end of Shuichi’s snow mound, and the impact of it gets some snow in Shuichi’s hair. He throws one of his many snowballs over at Gonta, but it doesn’t hit. Damn. This is more fun than he thought it’d be.

A few more snowballs are tossed and all of them whiff before one makes impact. One of Shuichi’s manages to smack Gonta’s shoulder again, and as Shuichi whoops in triumph, Gonta’s next snowball packs a punch to his chest. The next of Shuichi’s snowballs misses, and the next of Gonta’s smacks Shuichi square in the face.

Immediately, Gonta hurries over and starts up a flurry of apologies, but Shuichi just starts laughing. “D-Don’t worry about it,” he says through chuckles as he dusts the snow off his face, and Gonta smiles nervously at him. “Really, Gonta, it’s fine, and  _ I’m _ fine. You win. Let’s go get some hot cocoa, yeah? I’m sure there’s a fireplace somewhere we can warm up by.”

At that, Gonta perks up. “Yeah! There fireplace in one of the lounges by Gonta’s room! Shuichi wanna head inside now?” he asks, and Shuichi nods, rubbing at his nose as they head towards the main entrance. Gonta’s nervous smile droops a bit. “Gonta so sorry, Shuichi, he not mean to hit you…”

“Like I said, it’s totally fine, Gonta,” Shuichi assures him as they stop by the stairs. “But, honestly, I  _ do _ kind of want to get out of my clothes and back into my pyjamas. All my stuff is damp anyways. You wanna grab us some cocoa? I’ll pick out a movie we can watch while we warm up! That’s another thing people normally do on snow days.”

Gonta looks absolutely delighted, and he quickly agrees. Evidently, that peacoat had kept him dry. Well, most of him—his hair is still a bit damp. Shuichi’s pretty sure he knows how to get back to Gonta’s room from here, given that all he has to do is go up the stairs. It’s a stupidly exhausting journey, but he’s able to swap out his snow-soaked sweater for a baggy t-shirt, so he’s pretty satisfied.

Turning to his laptop, Shuichi wonders what he should pick out for the two of them to watch. He knows Gonta likes documentaries, specifically ones about bugs, but he’s not sure if any of the streaming services he’s got has them. Hopefully, typing ‘bug documentary’ in the search bar will work for him somehow.

Shuichi hadn’t realized how few films there are for the subject. It’s kind of sad.

But he  _ does _ see something he thinks could work.

“Hey,” Gonta says from the doorway, two steaming mugs of—presumably—hot cocoa in his hands. Shuichi smiles gently up at him, and Gonta nods his head towards the hall. Shuichi follows him out, laptop in hand. The lounge they arrive at is absolutely ridiculous. There’s a really futuristic-looking fireplace near an abnormally long white couch, and there’s only one silvery blanket hanging across the back. “This work okay?”

“Yeah, it’s...this is perfect,” Shuichi says, and Gonta beams at him, taking their cocoa over to the little table between the couch and the fireplace. It’s already alight and crackling; the warmth is spread gently over the room, and it feels great. Shuichi and Gonta settle onto the couch, and Gonta offers Shuichi the blanket. Gladly, he takes it. “Okay, I couldn’t find any bug documentaries, so I was thinking we watch this really dumb animated movie about bees and you can tell me about everything in it that they get wrong.”

Eyes sparkling, Gonta nods. “That sound amazing,” he says breathlessly, and Shuichi smiles shyly. Shuichi realizes that the fireplace is more than enough, and so he tries to hand the blanket back over to Gonta. “Shuichi not cold? It okay really, Gonta feel fine!”

“N-No, I’m okay, you can take the blanket,” Shuichi says, and Gonta stops for a moment, looking thoughtful. Suddenly, he grabs it and spreads it over the both of them, handing Shuichi one of the cocoa mugs when he’s done. Shuichi bites back a grin. The gesture is super sweet, and he’s glad Gonta likes his idea. “Alright, I guess we should get started then. Be prepared, I’m expecting you to knock my socks off with bee trivia.”

Gonta gets really intense for a moment. “Absolutely,” he says, very seriously, and Shuichi pauses. Gonta’s serious demeanor dissolves into quiet chuckles, covering his mouth with his hand as he does. The movie starts up, and immediately, Gonta’s brow furrows. “Bees not have to apply airplane physics. Shuichi know that, right?”

Shuichi nods and leans back. He’s kind of looking forward to finding out how much this movie screwed up. He’s aware it’s probably wrong about almost everything, but according to Gonta, they did get at least a few things right. But most of their movie-watching time is dedicated to Gonta very vivaciously addressing all the fallacies of the movie’s supposed bee expertise. It’s a little amusing, but honestly, Shuichi’s just impressed.

For a subject that not many people care to even consider, Gonta is ridiculously passionate about entomology. It’s admirable, really. He’s incredibly smart, and Shuichi’s honestly considering trusting Gonta’s word over any encyclopedia or internet source on bugs. It’s like he’s reciting a textbook as he points out exactly how stupid the movie is. Shuichi’s a bit speechless at not only how much Gonta knows, but how much information about bugs—a topic that he’d normally be really squeamish about—his own brain is retaining.

That comes with the territory, he supposes. It’s hard not to get wrapped up in what Gonta’s saying, especially when he’s speaking so passionately about something Shuichi knows he loves, and Gonta honestly makes the topic sound not disgusting. Besides, Gonta’s his friend, and Shuichi at least wants to make sure Gonta feels like he has some outlet in him for talking about bugs. And things he cares about.

As the credits come on, Gonta looks at Shuichi with a very deadpan expression, and Shuichi raises his eyebrows. “Did you not like the movie?” he asks, and Gonta shakes his head.

“Movie was awful and inaccurate,” he starts, and Shuichi’s suddenly really worried that he’s absolutely destroyed their friendship by showing Gonta the stupid thing, but Gonta’s expression shifts into something more positive, “but Shuichi made it so much fun to be watching! Gonta got to talk about bees for so long! Not many people let Gonta talk about bees for this long. O-Or bugs in general.”

Shuichi smiles softly at him, though there’s a bit of worry behind it. “Well, I’m glad I could make it fun for you,” he says, and Gonta’s positively radiating happiness. “And, hey, I might not be the biggest fan of bugs—m-mostly because a lot of them frighten me—but you can come to me to rant about as many bugs as you’d like. Anytime, Gonta.”

Surprisingly enough, Gonta actually looks hesitant at the offer. “Gonta not wanna bother Shuichi about bugs too much...Gonta know lots of people not like bug friends,” he says, a sad smile on his face. Shuichi makes to say something else, but Gonta continues before he can. “And Gonta know Shuichi mean what he say, but...sometimes it hard for Gonta to think anybody wanna listen. Entomology not seen as very...gentlemanly field of study, but Gonta try his best to change everybody’s minds. Maybe one day.”

Well, Shuichi doesn’t really know what to say about that. But he can at least try to make Gonta feel more confident about his passions, right? “I think it’s perfectly gentlemanly,” he says, but Gonta still seems unsure. “I mean, you’re doing what most people wouldn’t, and you’re doing it for the good of creatures that can’t really advocate for themselves. Not to mention, you’re remarkably intelligent, a-and I don’t know much about entomology, but you seem like you know exactly what you’re doing, and you’re  _ good _ at it. It’s amazing, Gonta.  _ You’re _ amazing.”

Face flushed, Gonta rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Gonta not sure about all that,” he says, and Shuichi gives him a playful glare as he drains the last of his hot cocoa. After a few moments, Gonta speaks up again. “But...Shuichi very smart. Shuichi also k-kind and polite and...Gonta not smart boy, but he know Shuichi not lie about what he think of Gonta. Thank you, Shuichi.”

“No, hey, come on, don’t you praise me and put yourself down,” Shuichi says, half-joking. “You, sir, are ridiculously smart. Don’t you forget it.”

Gonta gives him a small smile as Shuichi closes the laptop. “Thank you, Shuichi.”

“Anytime,” he says, “and hey, if you ever want to have a snow day again—or something similar, I guess—then just let me know. I’d love to introduce you to more of what normal people do.”

“What normal people do,” Gonta repeats, like it’s a foreign concept.

Shuichi moves the still-damp strands of Gonta’s hair away from his face. “Yeah.”


	22. Double Date 2—Electric Boogaloo

The second the text comes in, a wave of relief washes over Shuichi. He tilts his phone towards Gonta with a grin, Kaito’s very enthusiastic  _ HEY!!! Dinner and karaoke night!! You, me, Maki Roll, and the big guy!!!!! _ displayed on the screen. Honestly, Shuichi’s kind of glad Kaito’s giving them an out for dinner here.

It’s been more than a little awkward. Dinner here is really quiet, unless Mrs. Gokuhara wants to say something. And in such cases, Shuichi gets extremely frustrated for the rest of the night, and that’s just not ideal at all. Because sometimes Gonta will assume Shuichi’s frustrated with  _ him _ for what Mrs. Gokuhara had said rather than thinking Shuichi’s rightfully pissed about the things she’d said.

Every back-handed compliment, every passive-aggressive remark, every time she asks Shuichi in a fake joking tone why he’s even ‘dating’ Gonta makes Shuichi’s blood boil. Of course, Mrs. Gokuhara and the insane amount of money Gonta’s family has are much too intimidating for Shuichi to even consider outright saying anything about it. Instead, he tries to build Gonta up in spite of her best efforts to tear him down.

A few compliments here and there have never hurt anybody, and Gonta’s someone who needs them more than most.

“What d’you say? It’ll get us out and about for a bit,  _ and _ I, uh...kinda wanna see them. I know it’s only been a little more than a week since the semester finished, but I miss everyone,” Shuichi says with a sheepish chuckle. Gonta gives him a warm smile. “Also, I’m—not legally, but still—obligated to warn you that if we do go, you’ll be subject to Kaito singing the cheesiest love ballads available as soon as he gets a few drinks in him.”

Gonta chuckles, but he looks a bit nervous, so Shuichi waits for him to voice his concerns. It’s a bit odd, in a good way. He realizes that a while ago, he might not have known that little quirk of Gonta’s; that he waits to make sure it’s alright before speaking. “Gonta...not really sing, but karaoke could be fun,” he says, and Shuichi beams at him.

He’s honestly looking forward to it. As much as it pains him to force Gonta to keep the charade up for a little extra, seeing their friends will probably be good for both of them. Getting out of this big, lonely mansion is also incredibly appealing. Shuichi feels a bit silly for thinking so—after all, staying in a mansion for winter break isn’t something he should be complaining about, but the atmosphere is rather stifling here.

Once Shuichi’s got the details of where they’re meeting Kaito and Maki for dinner, he starts getting ready. The place isn’t too far into the city, though he’ll probably have to ask Gonta where the nearest train station is. “Hey, uh, your mom won’t mind if we don’t eat here, right?” he asks, and Gonta tilts his head. “I just meant, like...if you guys had specific plans, we could cancel, I don’t...whatever you want to do, I didn’t mean to steamroll you or anything.”

Shaking his head, Gonta goes to look through his—admittedly impressive—tie collection, a small smile on his face. “No, no, Gonta think it gonna be fun,” he says as he buttons up his shirt completely, and Shuichi lets the tension leave his shoulders. That’s good, at least. Gonta starts to do up his tie, fingers maneuvering the sleek cloth deftly through itself into a virtually perfect knot. It’s honestly kind of satisfying to watch.

Gonta looks back up at him, and Shuichi turns back to the mirror, nervously combing his fingers through his hair in an attempt to get all of it to stay down. He feels a bit silly for getting so flustered. It’s not as though he’d been doing anything wrong by watching Gonta tie his tie, but that moment had felt so...private. Domestic, even. Shuichi sighs. It looks like neither his hair nor his habit of overthinking will be cooperating with him tonight.

“You look nice, by the way,” Shuichi says once Gonta seems to be done getting ready. And he does, if not a little too formal for some dinner and a trip to a karaoke place. Beaming, Gonta smooths down the sides of his shirt one last time. “Oh, hey, so do you know where the train runs by here? I don’t really know this area all that well.”

Gonta’s brow furrows. “Train? Why you wanna take train?” he asks, head tilted just a bit. His bangs swish over his forehead lightly. Shuichi’s fingertips itch with the spontaneous urge to brush them away from his eyes. Shaking the thought from his mind, he gives Gonta a questioning look. Why  _ wouldn’t _ they be taking the train? It’s not as though they can just walk there. “If Shuichi not wanna ask driver, that fine, but it prolly easier than train, yeah?”

Shuichi is abruptly reminded of where he is. Right. “Y-Yeah, no, you’re right, we can...we can do that,” he says sheepishly, and Gonta nods, grabbing a coat. The high collar frames his face really nicely, and Shuichi feels a bit embarrassed that his own coat is a hand-me-down that’s slightly too small for him. He tugs at the edges of his sleeves in a futile attempt to hide the way they ride up his wrists. “So, uh, should we get going?”

Ever the gentleman, Gonta holds the door for him, and they head down all three flights of those damned stairs. Shuichi resists the urge to wince when they happen to see Mrs. Gokuhara in the entrance hall. She gives the two of them an odd smile. “Where are the two of you headed so late?” she asks, though it’s hardly past six.

Since Gonta is gnawing anxiously at his bottom lip, Shuichi takes it upon himself to save Gonta the stress and answer. “We were just going to have dinner with a few friends,” he tells her, and her smile turns much less skeptical as she turns her attention from Gonta to Shuichi. “A double date, actually.”

“Well, it’s good to see you socializing for once,” Mrs. Gokuhara tells Gonta, all too sweetly for a remark so  _ very _ rude. Shuichi takes a deep breath and takes hold of Gonta’s arm. At least she doesn’t seem like she’s going to hold them up any longer. “Be safe, won’t you? And...don’t get lost, Gonta.”

There’s a mix of both genuine concern and patronization that makes Shuichi’s dislike for Gonta’s mother intensify a bit. But any retorts die on his tongue; she’s turning back towards a different hallway anyway. It would also be incredibly stupid to say something dumb and have more ire directed at Gonta, who hasn’t done anything wrong.

As it turns out, being in a car in which neither he nor the person he’s travelling with is driving is extremely weird. He’s never been in a limousine, and he doesn’t trust cabs. Not to mention that being a criminal justice major has made him  _ incredibly _ wary of ride-sharing apps. So Shuichi doesn’t let himself relax until the driver wishes them well as they pull in front of the restaurant Kaito had told them to meet up at.

Surprisingly, they’re not only met with just Kaito and Maki, but Kaede and Miu are happily chatting with them outside the doors. Shuichi grins and waves over at them. “Hey! Oh my gosh, it’s so good to see you!” Kaede gushes, immediately tugging Shuichi into a hug. “Right, sorry for totally hijacking your guys’ double date! We had no clue you were even having one.”

She chuckles bashfully and snags Miu over. “Oh, ’sup, tree dick, finding emo,” she says, nodding at Gonta and Shuichi respectively. Tasteless jokes, per the usual. At least Shuichi can rely on one constant tonight. She turns back to Kaede and pouts. “Babe, it’s fuckin’ freezing out here. I’ve got icicles coming out of my ass.”

Kaito slings an arm around Shuichi’s shoulders. “Bro,  _ so _ glad you’re here! But Miu’s right, we should get inside,” he says, pulling away to put a hand on the small of Maki’s back to lead her into the restaurant as Gonta gets the door for all of them. “Thanks, man! Anyways, I was thinking we should probably wait to get drinks ’til we get to the karaoke bar.”

“I’d rather pregame the  _ shit _ out of some tequila,” Miu says pointedly as Maki rolls her eyes at the lot of them and goes to talk to the hostess. Shuichi lingers towards the back of their little group, smiling as Gonta finally joins them all after holding the door open for two other groups of people. “Plus, if I have to put up with whatever trash music you fuckers are going to pick, I’m gonna have to be drunk at the start.”

Kaede pinches her girlfriend’s ear as the hostess leads them all to a table. “Play nice for once, would you?!” she huffs playfully, puffing out her cheeks. Shuichi slides into the middle of the big, round booth and Gonta slides in next to him, their shoulders pressed together as Kaito disregards everyone’s personal space and squishes in. “Ah, right, that reminds me! Maki, Gonta, you guys have never been to karaoke, right?”

Both of them shake their head, but the disparity in their enthusiasm levels makes Shuichi stifle a laugh. “I don’t care for music,” Maki says flatly as she busies herself with rearranging the condiments in the middle of the table, though the amused look on Kaito’s face tells the group otherwise. She seems to sense this and her hands freeze on the salt and pepper shakers as she glares at him. “Not a peep out of you, Momota.”

A groan and a smacking noise directs their attention to Miu, whose head has connected rather obnoxiously with the table. “Ugh, none of that sappy shit! Tonight is about embarrassing ourselves by getting drunk and singing shit off-key!” she grumbles, propping her elbows on the table and setting her chin in her hands.

Kaito holds his hands up in a placating manner. “Hey now, don’t look at us. Shuichi and Gonta were the ones making out at the mini-golf course the last time we were all out,” he says with a devilish grin, and Shuichi goes bright red.

Sputtering, he shakes his head. “Th-That’s not—! Kaito, shut  _ up,”  _ he hisses, turning to glare a traitorously giggling Kaede. He crosses his arms and slumps back into the booth. “We kissed  _ one _ time! A-And you two were the ones having some kinda weird romcom kiss every time Maki got a hole in one!”

Very red in the face, Maki throws a ketchup packet at him as everyone else shares a laugh. “I’d pay to see tree dick try to kiss  _ anyone,” _ Miu snickers, and Gonta goes just as red as Maki, trying and failing to hide his face in his coat collar. Miu leans forward and scans Shuichi’s face. “What is that even like? Is it all clumsy because the two of you are total virgins or…?”

Shuichi rolls his eyes and reaches across the table to shove her, but their waitress is there with waters, so he opts for pretending he’s grabbing a napkin instead. They all order their drinks and fall into—very rare—silence to look at the menu. Once the waitress comes back, it’s only a matter of waiting for their food.

“So, how’s everyone’s break going so far?” Kaede chirps, presumably kicking Miu under the table as she makes very obscene hand gestures for everyone to see. Maki makes a noncommittal noise, and Kaito just grins and waggles his eyebrows. Of course, Maki elbows him as Miu chitters with laughter. Kaede sighs and turns a hopeful smile towards Shuichi. “Shu, please tell me you two are going to save this conversation.”

A little flustered at the implication, Shuichi just sighs. “I mean, we’ve been having a pretty uneventful break. The snow the other day was nice, though! We made a snowman, tossed around some snowballs, and spent the rest of the day in,” he tells the group, returning Gonta’s soft smile. “Oh, and now Gonta knows about my distaste for horses.”

Kaito lets out a bewildered laugh at the same time as Miu groans. “You two are so vanilla it’s actually painful,” she says flatly, and Shuichi makes a face at her. Gonta just tilts his head in that slight confusion again. Kaede pinches Miu’s ear again. “I-I mean, that sounds fun! For a break with no sex.”

“Who says they’re not?” Maki unhelpfully inserts, and Kaito guffaws again, Kaede shooting Shuichi an apologetic look as the waitress sets down their food from a giant tray she’d brought over. Shuichi just sinks down in his seat and shakes his head. Maki huffs. “We’re splitting the check  _ six ways, _ right, Kaito?”

Kaito just shakes his head. “Five, actually,” he says, slinging his arm around Maki’s shoulders as she glares at him. He quirks his head towards Kaede. “Unless you wanna make it four…?”

Kaede gives their already tired-looking waitress a nod, and Shuichi quickly turns to Gonta before anyone at their table can say anything stupid. “Just...leave it at four. I can get mine,” he says, and Gonta pouts, though there’s more than playful protest—something like curiosity, maybe—in his expression. “Really. Four is fine. Sorry.”

His last statement had been directed at their waitress, who simply nods and goes back to her work. As the six of them start to eat, easy, idle chatter settles over them, and Shuichi smiles. It’s nice to see so many of his friends. Though he’s known Kaito and Maki longer than he’s known Kaede, Miu, and Gonta, it’s easy to feel as though they’re just old friends. Even if Miu’s remarks about everyone’s sex lives are a little irritating and Kaede teases him about his hair having a similar cowlick to hers.

Gonta, on the other hand, seems to still be thinking hard about something. When the conversation comes to a slight lull, he turns to Shuichi. “Shuichi know Gonta could have covered it...right?” he asks, and Shuichi nods. Before he can say anything, though, Gonta continues. “So why Shuichi wanna pay?”

“Well, just because you  _ can _ doesn’t mean you should have to. Or feel obligated to,” Shuichi tells him, keeping watch from the corner of his eye on Maki and Miu’s heated debate about crossbow innovation. “Plus, I’d have felt bad. I know you’d probably pay for everybody’s meals if they’d let you, but I don’t want to take advantage of your niceness. Even if it’s little stuff like this, y’know?”

Thoughtfully, Gonta nods, and the topic isn’t touched on further, even as they’re heading down the street to the karaoke bar. Kaito had thankfully thought ahead to book a room for them, so they all settle down on the big white couch as they take their coats off and Kaito thumbs through the pamphlet of songs on the table in front of them. There’s a tablet next to it—probably for ordering drinks.

Honestly, Shuichi could use one right about now. As much as he loves his friends, it’s a little easier to deal with how loud they can get with a little alcohol in his system. So he orders a sweet-looking martini for himself. The tablet exchanges hands through the rest of the group, save for Gonta, who looks a bit hesitant as Miu offers it to him.

“Should Gonta...get a drink?” he asks, but the question is only directed at Shuichi. A bit surprised, Shuichi just blinks at him and attempts to form a response that isn’t just telling him to do whatever, considering it’ll probably just make him more indecisive. But their conversation is cut short by a slightly annoyed—and tipsy, she hadn’t lied about pregaming—Miu, who just punches in for two rounds of shots, using her own card.

Kaede manages to drag Maki into doing a girl band number with her and Miu, and they finish just before their drinks arrive. They take a short break to line up songs in the queue and do some shots. Shuichi’s not very used to it, as he’s not a party sort of person, so the rum stings  _ bad _ going down his throat. Everyone’s done with their second shot by the time Gonta’s managed to stifle down the first one. The alcohol hasn’t really hit him yet, so Shuichi takes what he knows will probably be his last moments of complete clarity to lean over to Gonta as Kaito takes the stage.

“Y’know, you don’t have to drink if you don’t want to,” he murmurs, just loud enough for Gonta to hear him over the cheesy music that blares from the speakers. Gonta just shrugs and glances away, eyes just slightly unfocused. “Besides, rum tastes like hot garbage anyway. If you’re gonna drink  _ anything, _ you might as well steal some of my martini. At least that’s got that gross syrupy stuff in it to make it good.”

Gonta actually chuckles at that, bumping his shoulder gently against Shuichi’s as Kaito belts horribly off-key lyrics to a song Shuichi’s fairly sure he’s heard on the radio recently. “So, everybody just...sing?” he asks, head tilted as Miu taps her foot impatiently on the other end of the couch. Shuichi nods and sips on his drink. It’s cherry red and tastes accordingly. “Will Shuichi sing?”

At that, Shuichi snorts. “Yeah, probably. Kaede likes to make me do pop songs,” he tells Gonta, who smiles softly. The alcohol is starting to hit him now, but he’s still sober enough to give Gonta a questioning look when he reaches out for the last remaining shot of rum left on the table. “You sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to. Plus, you kinda got  _ really _ drunk on what was, like, three total glasses of wine.”

Nodding as he makes a face Shuichi finds it  _ very _ hard not to chuckle at, Gonta slowly drains the shotglass. Well, Shuichi should probably trust Gonta to know his limits. Miu takes the stage next and spouts some pretty vulgar lyrics to a rap beat. Kaede and Kaito both cheer her on as Maki takes suspiciously long-looking sips of her scotch.

Shuichi’s tugged on next by Kaito, who demands the two of them do a rather screechy rendition of a song Shuichi doesn’t really know. He does his best to keep up with the lyrics, but it’s a little hard when his brain is a little slower than usual, bogged down by two shots of rum and a few sips of cherry martini. He ends up fumbling, but it’s fine, considering Kaito’s doing equally as bad, and it’s easy to laugh with everyone as the song fades out.

“Gonta thought you did  _ great,” _ Gonta tells him as Shuichi sits next to him again, the sight of Miu dragging Kaito back up to the stage going without comment. Shuichi honestly doesn’t know if Gonta is intentionally trying to sound sarcastic or if it’s just the way the alcohol is affecting his intonation. Judging by the look on his face, the compliment seems genuine. Regardless, Shuichi finds himself giggling.

And then Gonta’s laughing with him, and then they’re both laughing over  _ nothing  _ for so  _ long, _ and then Kaede is dragging Shuichi up to the stage while Miu announces she’s ordering another round of shots. Shuichi can see Gonta holding back laughter and Kaito having a fit in his seat that Shuichi assumes is his attempt at dancing. Maki just waits by the door to grab the shots that get delivered to them, and as soon as Shuichi and Kaede are finished, they all hurry to down some more rum. Even Gonta seems to be able to knock it back with little trouble, and Shuichi’s brain fog gets ever thicker, his mind clouded in a warm haze of rum and cherry.

Kaito tries to get Gonta to sing a few times, but even being slightly—definitely—drunk, Gonta shakes his head with an apologetic smile. Shuichi can’t help but wonder why he’s so hesitant. He’s not about to ask Gonta why in front of everyone, though. Miu, surprisingly enough, manages to drag Maki up for a song, and then they get to the portion of the night where Kaito insists on doing love ballads. A long, peaceful sigh leaves Shuichi as he leans back against the cushions of the couch, and beside him, Gonta sways back and forth slightly to the music. Or from the alcohol. It’s a little hard to tell.

As Kaito gets to the bridge of the song, Miu comes over and plops herself in Gonta’s lap. Rather baffled, Shuichi tilts his head at her, but she just crosses her arms. “Kaede’s bein’ a  _ bitch _ and she won’t let me sit in her lap,” she offers as an explanation. Gonta just nods, as though this is a completely normal thing for Miu to do. It doesn’t seem to bother Kaede, either. “Plus, s’not like tree dick minds.”

It’s a bewildering thing for Shuichi’s drunk brain to try and comprehend. But he supposes he doesn’t really know much about Gonta’s friendships, other than that one time he’d helped him and Kirumi make breakfast. Then again, aren’t they faking a relationship? Right! They  _ are! _ So it should be him sitting—wait, that’s not...is it? Shuichi can’t seem to remember much about their arrangement now that he’s trying to think about it.

“We’re dating,” Shuichi says instead, studying Gonta’s face up close, and Gonta thinks for a moment before his eyes widen in realization and he nods at Shuichi. “Right, oh my God! We’re  _ dating!  _ Gonta, we’re ‘dating.’” He doesn’t actually do the air quotes, because even his drunk brain is pretty sure no one’s supposed to know it’s fake, but Gonta seems to realize his intent.

So Shuichi’s rum and cherry brain does what it thinks is best, and it’s weird to watch his own hand grab Gonta by the tie and yank him into a kiss. He vaguely registers Miu making a slightly inappropriate comment and evacuating Gonta’s lap. As their lips slot together, Shuichi hums and lets the hand that had tugged Gonta’s tie come to tangle in his hair. Gonta’s hands rest at their increasingly familiar positions on Shuichi’s waist and face.

But something at the back of Shuichi’s mind tells him this isn’t  _ enough, _ they aren’t convincing anybody with this, so he pushes forward, moving his lips against Gonta’s. A content sigh leaves him as Gonta leans into it too, his grip getting just slightly firmer. It’s slightly messy, given that both of them are likely drunk out of their minds, and Shuichi can taste the remnants of rum on Gonta’s lips. He’s not sure which flavor his own taste more of, but for Gonta’s sake, he hopes it’s cherry.

They settle into an easy embrace, mouths moving lazily against each other, and Shuichi realizes that Gonta’s in a weird half-twist. Well, that won’t do. If he’s already forcing Gonta into a charade, he might as well ease the discomfort a bit. So he shifts to straddle Gonta’s lap, both arms coming to rest around his neck. A thought drifts across the front of Shuichi’s brain; being in a tie all the time must be so uncomfy for Gonta.

Frowning slightly into their kiss, he fiddles with that shimmery fabric until it hangs freely atop Gonta’s chest. And Shuichi hates it when a shirt is buttoned all the way up with no tie—it’s so  _ stuffy, _ dammit—so he undoes just a few buttons of Gonta’s shirt. Gonta breathes easier into their kiss now, and Shuichi fights a smile. At least this’ll be convincing.

But does he just want—

“Alright, lovebirds, break it up,” Kaito jokes, and Shuichi breaks away from Gonta, absolutely breathless. With great embarrassment, he realizes he’s probably been kissing way harder than they’d needed to, if the kiss-bruised look Gonta’s lips have is anything to go by, but that’s definitely the alcohol’s fault. “C’mon, we should call you two a cab.”

“No, n’uh, don’t cab,” is all Shuichi manages, brain extra hazy from less oxygen than usual. “I mean, don’...you don’t have to, Gonta’s got a big fancy  _ driver _ that took us here. Plus, I don’t truss’em.” Okay. Hearing himself, he’s absolutely wasted. It’s a little embarrassing—probably will be in the morning—but he just shifts himself back off of Gonta’s lap.

Gonta just nods, oddly quiet as he pulls out his phone and types something. “Driver already waiting,” he mumbles, face flushed, and Shuichi gives everyone an awkward two-finger salute as the two of them get up and attempt to lean on each other to leave the room. “That...very much fun, s’what Gonta think.”

“Oh, for  _ sure. _ Kaito is uh...an  _ awful _ singer. But so am I. And everybody. So...s’lotta fun,” Shuichi gushes, and Gonta grins at him as he holds the door open.

They don’t stop smiling for the rest of the night. It’s nice. Shuichi thinks even if he were sober, it’d still be nice.


	23. The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

“This is the nicest suit I’ve got. You sure it’s okay?” Shuichi asks desperately, nerves making every part of him jittery and unsure. Not only is there going to be a bunch  _ more _ ultra-rich people on the property today, but it’s a gala, and Gonta’s just told him he’s expected to greet everyone. To make connections, he’d explained, though Shuichi has to wonder whether that’s just a phony excuse for Gonta’s parents to relax and mingle while Gonta does all the hard work.

Of course, Shuichi had immediately volunteered to do it with Gonta. Partly so that Gonta wouldn’t have to do it alone, but moreso to ensure that Shuichi doesn’t have to have actual, genuine conversations with terrifyingly rich people he doesn’t know. If there’s a party, one can be damn sure that Shuichi will be sticking with one person throughout the duration of it to avoid any unnecessary interaction. Not to mention, Gonta’s father is supposed to be getting here today, too.

But, his attire remains an issue. He hadn’t brought something crazy like a tux—he’s fairly sure he’s never owned one—but he doesn’t have a three-piece suit or anything like that. He has a suit he’d gotten as a gift from his uncle a few years back to wear to his high school graduation party, but that’s just about it. He owns the odd sport coat, sure, but this is the only full suit he has. And thankfully, he’d remembered to bring it.

“That a perfectly fine suit,” Gonta tells him, though he gnaws on his bottom lip. So that definitely means it’s not. Well, maybe it is. Gonta doesn’t lie, not even about little things like this. He does, however, head into the closet and dig through a drawer until he holds a black tie out in front of him triumphantly. “There! And Gonta can lend Shuichi tie clip, too!”

Sure enough, the tie and a little silver clip are pressed into his hands, and Shuichi’s moving into the bathroom to get changed and make a rather distressed attempt to smooth down his hair as much as possible. Needless to say, he isn’t very successful, if that damned cowlick is anything to go by. He supposes he’ll have to settle for moderately tamed. He hasn’t tied a tie in ages, and it’s a bit of a struggle, though he does manage to make it look somewhat elegant before he leaves the bathroom.

When he sees Gonta, it’s like getting punched in the gut, but in an oddly good way. The wind is knocked out of him at how downright majestic Gonta looks in his two-tailed black suit coat and tailored slacks, his tie perfectly pressed and tied. The only thing off about his whole look is his hair, though it’s much neater than it usually is, the unruly curls having been brushed enough to be soft and wavy.

Gonta seems to be exceptionally worried about his hair, though, so Shuichi shakes himself out of his mini stupor—just because he’s not used to seeing Gonta in  _ actual _ formal attire, his normal suits are one thing, but this is something else entirely—and taps his shoulder. “If you want, I could try to help you put it up,” he offers, and at Gonta’s usual head tilt of confusion, he smiles softly. “Sen used to make me do hers before she chopped, like, two feet of it clean off, so...I’ve got some experience.”

Blinking, Gonta nods, and Shuichi gestures for him to sit down on the bed, Gonta’s back to him as he goes to grab a brush and hair tie. Shuichi gently gathers up Gonta’s hair into a ponytail, low and elegant, leaving his bangs to frame his face. It’s surprisingly easy to do so, given how wild Gonta’s hair normally is. He briefly considers braiding it, but he decides against it. Better safe than sorry, he supposes.

Once he steps back, Gonta turns towards the mirror and his eyes go wide as he moves the ponytail to lay over his chest. “Woah...Gonta really like how it look! Thank you, Shuichi, thank you!” he says, enthusiastically sweeping Shuichi into a hug. Hesitantly, Shuichi returns it, though he doesn’t really understand why Gonta’s hugging him in the first place. “Gonta never seen his hair so neat before! It look so...pretty…”

He turns back to look at himself in the mirror again, and Shuichi pulls away from their hug to smooth down his sport coat. He’s glad Gonta likes it; the style frames his face really nicely. In any case, Shuichi’s not entirely sure where to go from here. He has no clue how fancy galas are supposed to work.

“So, uh...are we supposed to go downstairs now?” he asks, nervously fiddling with his—well, he supposes it’s Gonta’s—tie. Gonta pales a bit, noticeably so, and nods. Shuichi wonders why he looks so nervous; though he’s sure Gonta’s father can’t be any worse than his mother, there’s a bit of doubt nagging at the back of his mind. It’d be reasonable to assume that Gonta has to get his niceness from  _ somewhere, _ and if his mother is...like that, then his father must be at least a bit better, if anything, right?

Gonta holds the door open for him, and Shuichi lets him lead the way downstairs to the entrance hall. It’s eerily quiet, and Shuichi has to wonder just where the Gokuharas are holding this gala at. “Finally. You sure took your sweet time getting down here,” a deep voice rumbles from in front of them, and Shuichi gets a sinking feeling that he’s not going to like Gonta’s father very much either. “I expect you to be punctual. Especially now that you’ve brought a guest without my permission.”

“Oh, come now, dear,” Mrs. Gokuhara says, and Shuichi gets a good look at the man his brain immediately informs him he’s going to have to silently dislike. He’s almost as tall as Gonta, and about half as built, which means Shuichi would still likely die if a physical altercation were to take place. “He’s finally gone and gotten someone who can handle him and his...rather odd habits.”

Gonta bites his lip, and Shuichi’s eyes narrow. Christ, are they incapable of saying one nice thing about their son? “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” he says, offering his hand, though it’s certainly the opposite. Mr. Gokuhara takes it with a wary look, and Shuichi draws his hand back as soon as he can, wrapping his arms around Gonta’s bicep. “I’ve never been to a formal gala before, but I must say I’m looking forward to it.”

Something in Mr. Gokuhara’s face twitches. “You’ve never been to a gala? I’m surprised. My wife informed me of your parents’ success in the film industry,” he says, though the tone in which he says it makes Shuichi’s blood boil. “Surely you at least have  _ some _ experience with networking. I would have hoped my son has informed you of tonight’s importance.”

Shuichi wonders if his parents would be willing to adopt Gonta. “Of course. I’ve never  _ personally _ been to one, but my parents have. I was too young,” he explains, and Mr. Gokuhara seems a bit eased by that. If one can call slightly less wrinkles in his stern expression being eased. “In any case, I’m just so  _ grateful _ to be here tonight to support Gonta.”

Mr. Gokuhara’s eye twitches, but the surprised little smile Gonta gives him is worth it. They want to play passive aggressive? Shuichi’s non-confrontational ass is going to beat them at their own game. “Of course. I’m glad we no longer have to worry about keeping him under control during these,” he says, and Shuichi thinks his parents would be  _ very _ open to the idea of getting Gonta out of here.

“I’m sorry?” he asks, feigning innocence and tilting his head slightly. Gonta seems increasingly nervous as the conversation continues.“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean. Would you mind explaining?”

Mr. Gokuhara’s expression hardens. “I would think you, of all people, would understand perfectly,” he says, dismissing the topic easily as he waves over an attendant to bring him and his wife some champagne. He turns to Gonta, slowing his speech just enough for Shuichi to notice. “The guests will be arriving soon. You’re capable of greeting them, yes?”

“Yes, sir,” Gonta says quietly, and Shuichi gives his arm a little squeeze. His parents head off towards the left side of the mansion, and they’re left along in the entrance hall. “Sorry, Shuichi, Gonta not mean to make you stay here and greet everyone. Shuichi can go right to party if he want to, Gonta used to greeting guests alone, it no worries!”

“Dude, your parents  _ suck,” _ Shuichi says emphatically, and Gonta blinks in surprise. Just thinking about the way they’ve been treating Gonta not only today, but this is an annual thing, so for the past however many  _ years… _ “If you think I’m gonna force you to stick this out on your own, you’d be crazy. It’s the least I can do, Gonta.”

Gonta looks unsure, but he nods anyway, giving Shuichi a soft smile. It’s quiet, eerily so, in the entrance hall, but Shuichi finds that silence between him and Gonta has been getting more and more comfortable with every passing day they keep up this charade for. He supposes that’s one good thing to come from this insane situation he’s put them in; they’ve gotten to be closer friends than Shuichi had thought they could be.

And, as it turns out, greeting guests is easy, but painfully boring. It involves a lot of bowing and thanking people that look like they could buy and sell Shuichi like an old thrifted t-shirt, which is incredibly intimidating. The bright side to this is that Shuichi’s probably bowed enough tonight to beat his record in toe-touches. To be fair, it’s not a very difficult record to break, but he still texts Kaito about it anyway once they’re alone in the entrance hall again.

A few guests attempt to converse with him and Gonta, but they’re quickly ushered away by attendants towards the room where the gala is presumably taking place. Shuichi feels a bit disheartened by that; this seems so isolating, and picturing Gonta doing this for years by himself makes Shuichi incredibly upset. He does his best to be entertaining and engaging, though he can’t seem to get Gonta to talk much.

“All of the guests have been seated, and Master Gokuhara has requested that you be escorted to the ballroom before his speech,” an attendant says, gesturing towards the hall breaking off to the left side of the mansion. Shuichi, taking hold of Gonta’s arm once more, follows the attendant into a stupidly large ballroom to a table at the very back of the room. Ouch.

As Mr. Gokuhara starts to spout some horseshit about being oh so grateful for his investors and ‘friends’ for attending, Shuichi leans over towards Gonta. “Hey, you okay?” he asks, soft enough so that no one but Gonta can hear him. Gonta seems surprised that Shuichi’s even asking, but he nods. “Just making sure. You seemed a little off.”

Gonta nods again, still silent, which is worrying. Though, his father  _ is _ giving a speech, so Shuichi supposes that would make sense. Nonetheless, his unusual quiet demeanor still puts a pit of anxiety into Shuichi’s stomach. It’s entirely possible that Gonta just doesn’t feel like talking, but that’s just uncharacteristic. Shuichi knows it’s probably got something to do with his parents--of course it does, they’re awful--but he doesn’t want to pry into Gonta’s private life any more than he already inadvertently has.

On an entirely separate, yet still slightly frustrating, note, Mr. Gokuhara’s speech is boring and  _ long. _ Shuichi’s struggling to keep his eyes open by the time it’s over; some mumbo jumbo about how well his company is doing and how he’s just so happy that his big rich business friends are doing equally well or whatever. It’s impersonal and formal and Shuichi can honestly say that this is the worst party he’s ever been to.

Which is saying something, because he’s hated most parties he’s been to.

Surprisingly, before Shuichi can even start drinking those way-too-expensive flutes of champagne that the attendants are offering to everyone, Mrs. Gokuhara approaches their table, a polite smile on her face. “May I steal you for a moment to speak with you on the balcony?” she asks, directing the question at Shuichi, and he is  _ very _ hesitant to say yes. And though he does nod, it’s not before he looks over at Gonta warily. He follows her out to the balcony as the live jazzy band--Shuichi’s not a fan of the genre, personally--starts to play. She stands by the railing, inviting him to join her as she stares out across the grounds. “If I may ask...how do you do it?”

That’s...an odd question. Shuichi’s brow furrows. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know what you mean by that, ma’am,” he says, completely genuine. She frowns, though it seems distant rather than outwardly upset, and Shuichi fiddles with the cuffs of his suit jacket. He’s not good at talking to older adults. “Ma’am?”

“I’ve never seen him smile like that,” she says quietly, voice trembling, and Shuichi’s eyes widen, the breeze rolling by sending a chill down his spine. “How do you care for him like that? How do you make him happy…? He’s...not exactly what one might call ideal. And yet…” While that last comment had definitely ruffled a few feathers, Shuichi bites back the retort that threatens to leave his mouth and simply steps up to the railing next to Mrs. Gokuhara. “You seem to be after  _ him _ and not...all of this.”

Shuichi doesn’t really know what to say to that. He supposes he’ll just try to be as honest as he possibly can, given the circumstances. “Gonta is...extraordinary. He’s kind and humble and caring, and when he’s passionate about something…” Shuichi trails off, a small smile on his face. Mrs. Gokuhara looks over toward him, an emotion akin to desperation on her face. “He’s very easy to care about, is all. He’s so,  _ so _ smart, and he’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met--doesn’t have a mean bone in his body, actually. Gonta’s probably the most lovable guy ever, if you ask me. I don’t see why anyone would want anything else.”

Mrs. Gokuhara presses her lips together in a tight line and nods, looking back out over the grounds. “You’re a good one. Please stay with him. I know he can be...difficult to handle,” she starts, and Shuichi wants to scream, “but if what you’re saying is true...you’ll be good for him.”

“I’m sorry, but you  _ do _ realize he’s perfectly good on his own, right?” Shuichi blurts, and Mrs. Gokuhara whips her head back around to him. “I-I just...I really do apologize, ma’am, I just think you shouldn’t...Gonta has put in  _ so much effort _ to being someone his family can be proud of, and honestly? I think it’s awful that you and your husband aren’t even giving him a chance.”

He doesn’t really know where that confidence had come from, and since it was, of course, fleeting, he now stands on the balcony absolutely mortified. Mrs. Gokuhara’s hands are trembling, but she doesn’t look mad. “I’m a mother that barely knows her son,” she confesses quietly. “Do you know what that’s like? He’s...he’s practically a stranger, and I  _ want _ to connect with him, I...he just feels so...far away. And his father and I...we have expectations. A reputation to uphold.”

For a moment there, Shuichi had actually felt somewhat sympathetic to her situation. “If you want my opinion, ma’am, you’d do better to concern yourself with getting to know Gonta. Believe it or not, he’s worth far more than your reputation,” Shuichi says coldly, and there’s no hint of a lie in his voice. Gonta’s worth more than rich people’s social politics. If she were really so concerned about not knowing him, she’d make the effort. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get back to my boyfriend.”

Without waiting for a response, Shuichi turns heel and marches right back into the ballroom, smoothing down his suit jacket. He should really calm down. Gonta doesn’t need his protection, as much as Shuichi wants to help. Sliding back into his seat at their table, Shuichi decides it’ll probably be fine if he presses a quick kiss to Gonta’s cheek. Just for convincingness’s sake.

So when he does, Gonta barely reacts, only giving him a small smile before returning to his glass of water as he watches the band. There are a few couples out on the dance floor, swaying to the rhythm of the calm tunes floating through the ballroom. “How Shuichi feeling?” Gonta asks, voice far more quiet than Shuichi is used to.

“I’m alright, don’t worry about me. Are you doing okay?” he asks, putting his hand gently over Gonta’s. Gonta just smiles and nods, still sipping his water and looking out at the dance floor. It makes Shuichi slightly nervous, but if he recalls correctly… “Hey, you said we just have to do one dance, right? Like, that’s the norm?”

Gonta’s brow furrows. “Well, yes...but Gonta thought Shuichi not like dancing?” he asks, voice still far too quiet. Shuichi gnaws at his bottom lip as he glances from the couples dancing back to Gonta. “I-If Shuichi not want to, we can wait it out. Gonta not want you to feel uncomfy.”

“Let’s dance, and then we can ditch the party,” Shuichi suggests, and Gonta’s eyes go wide, though he doesn’t immediately object, which only confirms Shuichi’s suspicions. “If you’re worried about coming off as ungentlemanly, I think I can fake a migraine. Not like it’ll be hard, since all we can hear is rich old people.”

Gonta stifles a laugh behind his hand, eyes wide as he looks around to ensure no one’s heard the two of them. But he does stand and offer that same hand to Shuichi, who takes it gladly and follows him to the dance floor. Gonta holds him the same as he had in that frosted forest clearing, and very suddenly, Shuichi is well aware of all the pairs of eyes trained on them.

He’d forgotten how terrifying doing anything is in front of other people. He doesn’t dance, he’s clumsy as hell, there’s no way he gets out of this without looking like an idiot— “Hey,” Gonta says, leaning close to speak softly in Shuichi’s ear, “if Shuichi need to close his eyes and pretend it just him and Gonta, that okay. Gonta make sure you not fall.”

Shuichi nods, and he shuts his eyes tight, taking deep breaths as he tries to picture that clearing. It’s just him and Gonta in the woods, not a soul around. The band is just Gonta’s phone—Shuichi is pretty sure it’s the same song, actually—and the breeze is from the current of the half-frozen waterfall, not from the open windows. Though, it’s very hard to do so when he can hear the clicks and clacks of heels and dress shoes on the hardwood right beside them, and Shuichi can feel his hands shaking.

Gonta, bless him and his unending kindness, just pulls Shuichi closer, hand resting on the small of his back instead of his waist now. But while that’s comforting and all, it does nothing to alleviate Shuichi’s anxiety. He’s such an idiot. He’d only been intending to help, but now he’s just adding to Gonta’s stress by being such a hindrance.

What makes Shuichi nearly freeze in shock—and subsequently melt—is the gesture of Gonta leaning down to murmur the lyrics to the old-timey song playing, just for Shuichi to hear.

It’s surprisingly relaxing. Gonta’s voice is low and soft, with a rumble Shuichi can feel against his own chest; since when had they been so tightly pressed against one another? But that, mixed with the easy sway they’ve settled into, is enough to help distract Shuichi from his anxious thoughts. Gonta’s hands are warm, and Shuichi smiles, eyelids going from squeezed tight to a relaxed half-flutter.

The soft tunes of the music eventually drown out all those footsteps, and Shuichi hums along to Gonta’s quiet singing, slipping his hand from Gonta’s to wrap both arms around his neck and properly lean against him. Gonta quickly adjusts, letting his other hand rest on Shuichi’s waist. It’s pleasant, and despite the fact it very much isn’t so, it feels private. A little moment meant just for them. It’s...nice.

It’s less nice once the song is over, though, considering there are  _ many _ pairs of eyes on the two of them. Shuichi can feel his face heating up, and he steps back, hands slowly falling from Gonta’s neck to rest back at his sides. Gonta lets him go at the same time, and leads him back to their table, though Shuichi would much rather leave the gala entirely now.

“I...I didn’t know if you still wanted to leave,” Shuichi offers meekly, hiding his face behind the glass of water that seems increasingly appealing as the seconds tick past. Gonta scans his face for something, though Shuichi doesn’t know what, and then he smiles gently, nodding over at the door. Shuichi’s shoulders slump in relief. “You’re the best, you know that?”

Gonta chuckles behind his hand, and the two of them subtly slip out of the room, stifling giggles as they shrug off their suit jackets and tuck their cufflinks away in their pockets as soon as they’re out of sight. When they get to Gonta’s room, however, they freeze in their tracks. Neatly and not-so-neatly wrapped packages are placed in a sizeable pile on the bed, but Shuichi recognizes that wrapping paper.

“Wh...what these?” Gonta asks, completely bewildered, and Shuichi nearly gapes at him before he remembers that, no, Gonta likely doesn’t know about gift-giving for the holidays. Instead, he searches for a present with Gonta’s name on it and hands it over to him. “Shuichi...this for Gonta? Y-You sure?”

Shuichi’s brow furrows. “Well, yeah. It’s got your name on it, doesn’t it? Plus, I’m pretty sure these are all from my folks, so, uh, sorry about that,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, but Gonta just looks at that little present like it’s hung all the stars in the sky. “You can open it. Go ahead!”

Gonta carefully feels for the seams of the present and opens it gingerly, as if he’s terrified to ruin the cheesy red and white paper. “It...a butterfly,” he says, gently setting the wrapping paper down and showing the framed glass butterfly to Shuichi. Gonta smiles, one full of wonder, and Shuichi digs through the pile for another one, handing it to Gonta. “Th-This one for Gonta too? But...Shuichi, this from your family, it not for Gonta!”

“Gonta, half of these are yours, they just got them for you because they like you,” Shuichi tells him, and Gonta looks absolutely bewildered at the concept. A gift exchange for the holidays isn’t too outlandish, why does Gonta look so shocked at the idea of getting a present? “I...you can go ahead and open any of the ones that have your name on them. They’re meant for you. For the holidays, y’know?”

Gonta nods, though he still looks unsure. But with every present he unwraps, his smile gets bigger and brighter, and Shuichi finds himself just watching Gonta rather than unwrapping his own half of the pile.


	24. (It's Party Rock Is) In The House Tonight

"A New Year’s Eve party? I don’t know…” Shuichi says, brows furrowed. As much as he’d like an excuse to leave the Gokuhara estate—mostly because Gonta’s father hasn’t gotten any more tolerable—he has some serious doubts about Miu’s ability to throw an actual party. At least, a party Shuichi will be able to handle. “I mean, it sounds like fun, and if you want to go, we can definitely go, I just...is Kaede signing off on this or…?”

“Miu say Kaede told her to invite us,” Gonta explains, and now Shuichi feels a bit better about this whole thing. At least he can be fairly certain there won’t be _too_ much debauchery now. “But if Shuichi not wanna go to party, that okay too! We can stay here.”

He looks a little disappointed, and Shuichi bites back a sigh. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see his friends, because he really does, and it’s not as though he’d rather stay here. It’s just that Miu is infamous for throwing the world’s most insane parties, and Shuichi would rather not be relatively unresponsive for a week straight as he recovers from the inevitable hangover it’s going to cause.

But, hey, this year Kaede’s watching over everything, and Shuichi knows for a fact her hangovers are even worse than his, so why the hell not? “Nah, we should go. It’ll be good to see everyone again,” he says, and Gonta positively beams at him. Shuichi smiles back at him, albeit a bit sheepish. Sometimes he wonders if Gonta’s smile could rival the sun.

Shuichi figures that it’s probably not going to be a fancy affair, so he grabs a sweater and tugs it on over his shirt. He knows they’ll probably have to worry about cleaning up in the morning, given that Miu had bragged about her parents shilling out for an Airbnb for her entire winter break, so he’s not about to bring anything he could easily lose.

Gonta emerges in a suit, as always, and Shuichi’s brow furrows. Why is he always so formal? Not that it’s a bad thing; his clothes look good on him. Shuichi just wonders if he’s ever comfortable, other than going to bed. “What Shuichi looking at? Gonta not do his tie right?” Gonta asks, glancing down to check. Shuichi snaps himself out of his stupor and shakes his head.

“No, no, you’re fine, I just...don’t you wanna, I dunno...wear something a little more casual? I-If not, that’s totally cool, totally your choice,” Shuichi amends hastily, and Gonta tilts his head a little in confusion. “I meant, like, you’re always really dressed up. Th-That’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong! I just figured you should know you don’t _have_ to dress up for this if you don’t want to! It’s a house party, y’know?”

Granted, he still looks a little confused, but Gonta seems to be mulling over his words. “But...if Gonta not wear suit, how he gonna look like gentleman?” Gonta asks, completely serious, and Shuichi blinks. That’s...an odd question. Definitely not out of left field or anything, just odd.

“Gonta, you know you don’t have to dress up all the time for people to think of you as a gentleman, right?” Shuichi asks, but Gonta still looks rather unsure. Shuichi comes to stand in front of him, straightening his tie—it’s gone just a bit crooked. “You look great in a suit, but you don’t always have to be so formal. We all know you—how sweet and gentlemanly you are. You don’t have to worry about first impressions with any of us anymore. We all think you’re the perfect gentleman, Gonta.”

Gonta’s breath hitches noticeably, and Shuichi looks up. Gonta is rather red in the face as he attempts to duck away, one hand over his face and the other waving dismissively. “Ah, Sh-Shuichi is too kind!” he says, and Shuichi chuckles. Gonta’s too sweet for his own good sometimes. Gonta peeks out from between his fingers, looking a bit shy. “...Shuichi sure Gonta not have to wear a suit?”

“I mean, you can if you want to, but if it’s looking like a gentleman you’re worried about, don’t worry about it, okay?” Shuichi assures him, and Gonta nods, smiling gently. With an oddly determined expression, he marches back over to the closet. Shuichi pulls at a loose thread on his sleeve and glances at his phone. Kaede’s sent him about sixteen different emojis, to which Shuichi stifles a snort. He glances back up when he realizes Gonta hasn’t come out yet. “You, uh, okay in there?”

Gonta peeks his head out and nods, though there’s a light flush dusting his cheeks. “Gonta not really sure he look good, but…” he trails off, and Shuichi tucks his phone back into his pocket, giving what he hopes is a patient smile. Gonta comes into the room, and Shuichi inhales sharply. He has no clue how Gonta isn’t the most confident person on the planet. Even in a big fluffy sweater over a button up and trousers, _which he looks incredibly soft in,_ a small part of Shuichi’s brain whispers, Gonta’s so easily handsome. “G-Gonta should change back, right? It prolly not look good…”

“No, no, you look great! Super gentlemanly,” Shuichi offers, shoulders slumping with relief as Gonta lights up. And he really does look good. The academia aesthetic definitely suits him. It’s odd; seeing Gonta in casual clothes feels weirdly intimate for some reason, and that same small part of Shuichi’s brain is tempted to tell Gonta to change again so he can keep the sight of it to himself. But he shrugs it off. It’s probably just an intrusive thought. “You wanna, uh, head out, or…? We could take the train, unless you wanted to ask your driver. N-Not that I wanna bother your driver! Sorry!”

“It okay! No worries, Shuichi,” Gonta tells him, and Shuichi nods, a little embarrassed. He has no idea why he’s so flustered. Gonta pulls out his phone, which is always easily dwarfed by his hands, and he looks incredibly concentrated as he types something out. He holds the door open for Shuichi, and they head down to the front gate.

*****

They’re greeted by an overly enthusiastic Miu at the door of her rented vacation spot, and she practically drags Gonta inside, leaving Shuichi to follow in their wake. He waves hello to Angie and Kirumi on the way to the living room, where Kaito, Maki, Kaede, and Tenko are all hanging out. He greets Kaito with a half-hug—more like he’s tugged into one—and Kaede pecks him on the cheek before returning to her conversation with Maki. Tenko raises an eyebrow at him and jerks her head towards the doorway to what looks like the kitchen.

A little nervous, Shuichi follows her, and he stands silently on guard by the counter as she pours two solo cups of whatever concoction Miu has created in that poor punch bowl. The kitchen, oddly enough, is empty save for the two of them, which just sends even more nerves to the pit of Shuichi’s stomach. Tenko hands him a cup and sips from her own, maintaining an odd amount of incredibly intimidating eye contact.

“So...how are you?” Shuichi asks, clearing his throat as his voice cracks towards the end of the question. Despite her being shorter than him and wearing something less than ideal for it, Shuichi is well aware Tenko could very easily knock him out before he says so much as another word. She simply takes another sip from her cup. “Uh—”

“You hurt the one good man I’ve ever met and I will have your head on a stick before sundown,” she says suddenly, eyes narrowed, and Shuichi hurries to protest. He’d never hurt Gonta, even in regards to their fake relationship. He knows this whole mess is his fault, and he hates knowing he’s a cause of...complications...in Gonta’s life, but Shuichi wants to do everything he can to make sure it’s at least bearable. Tenko puts a hand up to cut him off. “However. I will say that he looks happy.”

Well, at least Shuichi’s not going to get his ass handed to him _right_ away. “That’s...I’m glad. That I can make him happy,” Shuichi says quickly, and Tenko nods. And, yeah, he is. Gonta’s such a kind-hearted person, and he deserves nothing but happiness. Shuichi’s just content to contribute whatever he can to Gonta’s happiness. “And I’m also...really glad that he has friends like you. Sometimes I feel like he’s too nice for his own good.”

Tenko laughs a little at that. “Yeah, he’s...Gonta is very sweet. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. And I mean that literally,” she says, and Shuichi nods. She’s right, too. Tenko’s expression darkens for a moment, and Shuichi barely catches himself before he flinches. “Which is why I don’t want to see him hurt.”

“Of course, n-neither do I,” Shuichi says quickly, and Tenko smiles—albeit a little tensely—at him. At least they’re at a mutual understanding. He _is_ still a bit curious about something, though. “Tenko, can I...can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, obviously, sorry, I just—”

“Saihara,” she interrupts, raising an eyebrow. “Spit it out.”

So he does. “How come you’re so protective over Gonta? I-I get that he’s a good guy—trust me, I know more than most,” he chuckles, and it’s true. Gonta is ridiculously sweet, and honestly, Shuichi probably wouldn’t have been able to pull off a plan this crazy with anyone else. Nobody else would have been patient enough to put up with it. “But just...I know you guys are friends, but—and no offense—you sorta come off as someone who, y’know...hates men…?”

“Oh, I do,” Tenko tells him easily, and Shuichi can only nod. Fair enough, honestly. “And frankly, I hardly trust any of the men we live in the dorms with. Except...Gonta helped me fend off a few creeps a couple of days after we met. I would have fought them off myself, but...I was a little drunk, and it was so _late,_ and they just...wouldn’t _stop._ Plus, him being gay definitely contributes.”

Shuichi snorts. Once again, fair enough. “He’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met,” Shuichi says, completely honestly, and Tenko actually gives him a genuine smile. Funny, he’s pretty sure she’s never smiled at him. He spots a familiar head of red hair over her shoulder, though, and he lifts his cup in Himiko’s direction. “I think somebody’s looking for you.”

Tenko jumps and whirls around, immediately becoming ten times less intimidating when she catches sight of Himiko and hurries over to her. Shuichi can finally tend to his drink, and it’s surprisingly good. “So I hear you and Chabashira are on good terms now,” Kaito’s voice says from beside him, and Shuichi nearly chokes on his punch. “Woah, hey, sorry, dude!”

He shoves a hand between Shuichi’s shoulderblades, and Shuichi sputters a bit. “I was fine, but thanks,” he grumbles, glaring playfully at Kaito. “And yeah, I don’t think we were ever on _bad_ terms, per se. At least, not bad terms for a _guy_ interacting with her. Personally, I think you’re on thinner ice than I am.”

Kaito shoves his shoulder. “Right! So, I was thinking we all fuck around and play video games ’til midnight! This place has a _huge_ TV,” he says almost conspiratorially, and Shuichi rolls his eyes, following Kaito out into the lounge anyway. Shuichi spots Gonta over on one of the couches beside Kirumi and Ryoma—who are sitting oddly close together—and joins him there, leaning just slightly into him. Kaito cups his hands around his mouth and whistles. “Alrighty! Let’s get to it then! Who wants to get their butt kicked in Smash?!”

Shaking his head, Shuichi takes another sip of punch as a good few of their classmates clamor around the TV set. A sudden tap on his shoulder makes him jump, and he just barely catches a glimpse of Kokichi disappearing into the still-empty kitchen. Jeez, what is it with people wanting to talk to him privately tonight?

Nevertheless, he should probably put a stop to this before it can become anything, so he reluctantly leaves Gonta’s side and steps into the kitchen, crossing his arms. “What do you need?” is what Shuichi settles on asking. Even talking to Kokichi requires more mental effort than he wants to give right now.

“I know you two ‘lovebirds’ are faking it,” Kokichi says, plain and simple, face completely impassive, and Shuichi’s solo cup slips in his fingers. He catches himself and scoffs, as if the mere idea of it is completely absurd. Kokichi crosses his arms and grins. “Look, Shuichi, you’re a terrible liar. That big oaf is even worse at it. Anybody with half a brain would’ve realized it that first night at the bar. Lucky for you, most of our classmates share a single collective brain cell.”

Fuck. This isn’t good. Shuichi rolls his eyes and tries to swallow the panic that’s lumped in his throat. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he bites out, and Kokichi just leans on the counter, hands behind his head. Shuichi’s grip on the cup tightens. He has to remain calm about this or they actually _will_ get caught. This has gotten too complicated to risk. “Gonta and I are a perfectly happy couple. And, frankly, it’s really none of your business, Kokichi.”

“Oh, but I think it is, my dear detective-to-be,” Kokichi sing-songs, and Shuichi forms a tightly clenched fist with his free hand and attempts to take a deep breath. The panic is real now, anger at both himself and Kokichi setting in alongside it. Where had this even come from? “After all, imagine how _devastated_ everyone would be if they were to...oh, I don’t know...find out everything has been a lie? That your vacation that they oh-so-meticulously planned was—what did you call it?—a ‘friend vacation?’ Oh, and what about all of your rules? D’you think they’ll at least understand that part?”

And it all falls down. Kokichi had been listening into their conversations. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Shuichi says, though even he can hear how shaky his voice is right now. “And besides, even if you decide to lie about _my_ relationship, you’re not exactly known for your honesty. What’s your goal here? What would you even get out of this?”

“The satisfaction of watching your shoddy lies come crashing down around you,” Kokichi tells him simply. He plucks Shuichi’s solo cup from his hands and tosses it into the sink. God only knows why. “If you’re going to lie, at least do it properly.”

And with that, he whirls out of the kitchen with a flourish, and Shuichi drags a hand over his face. He manages to stifle the groan of frustration that threatens to leave him. For a moment, he wonders if he should tell Gonta about what had just happened. After all, he deserves to know his reputation is on the line.

But then Shuichi looks out into the lounge, and Gonta is positively glowing with happiness, chatting away happily with Kirumi and Miu. Shuichi’s not about to ruin tonight for him. How can he, when Gonta’s smiling more genuinely than he has every time the two of them have been around Gonta’s parents? So he bites his tongue and rejoins everyone in the party, pressing a gentle kiss to Gonta’s cheek and lightly taking his hand as he sits down.

If just for convincingness’s sake.

*****

The video game tournaments alongside the New Year’s event being broadcasted on a separate, much smaller television are thankfully enough of a distraction. It’s easy to get back into the groove of things, chatting and smiling and joking and always keeping a carefully placed hand somewhere on Gonta. Just in case.

Soon enough, though, there’s only a minute to midnight, and all the couples have already started pairing off. Kiibo’s still working on getting the actual countdown on the big TV in place of Kork’s victory in the mini Mario Kart tournament that had been going on. Shuichi glances up at Gonta nervously, but sure enough, there’s clueless happiness on Gonta’s face.

“So, um, usually people kiss at midnight on New Year’s,” Shuichi murmurs, nervously fiddling with Gonta’s collar. Gonta goes a bit red at that, and Shuichi hurries to correct himself. “I mean, obviously, if you don’t want to—if you’re uncomfortable or anything—that’s totally okay, I just...I think it would probably be...nice.”

He’s well aware of a few pairs of eyes on them, and Gonta seems to be as well. “Yeah, that...it sound nice,” Gonta says, a little awkwardly. Not that Shuichi can really blame him. “So...we wait until midnight…?”

Shuichi laughs quietly and nods, glad that at least this part is easy. Wait. Kissing someone you’re fake-dating and describing it as ‘easy’ is a little...well, Shuichi can’t really dwell on that now. It’s probably because they’re so practiced at it by now. Yeah. He takes a deep breath and tries to give Gonta what he hopes is a reassuring smile as the rest of their peers start counting down.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Kokichi giving the two of them an unimpressed stare, and as everyone shouts “Happy New Year!” a little bit of confidence—closer to indignance—rears its head in Shuichi’s chest, and he hooks his index fingers into two of Gonta’s belt loops and tugs him hard into a kiss.

Their lips move gently against each other, Shuichi’s hands coming up to cup Gonta’s neck as Gonta pulls him in by his waist. It’s almost strange, that these little moments are what’s been giving Shuichi the most peace of mind recently. He doesn’t have to worry around Gonta, and he doesn’t have to think about anything, either. Even if their kisses are fake and their touches are fabricated, Shuichi really does feel at ease with Gonta.

And when they pull away, Shuichi’s slightly breathless, hands sliding down to press against Gonta’s chest. “That was nice,” Shuichi says, soft laughter lacing his voice. Gonta laughs a little too, silently as he rests his forehead against Shuichi’s. Everyone is toasting and cheers-ing, but honestly, the only thing Shuichi’s thinking about right now is that giant white bed. “You don’t happen to have a curfew, do you…?”

“We can go if Shuichi want,” Gonta murmurs, leaning down so that only Shuichi can hear him. A bit reluctantly, Shuichi nods. He kinda does wanna get to bed, especially given that they really should start packing again and coming up with a breakup story and taking care of next semester’s registration. Gonta straightens up and smiles down at him, and Shuichi runs a thumb over his cheek. Gonta turns to Miu, who tilts her head and gives the two of them what Shuichi assumes to be her drunken version of a frown. “We gonna head back now, th-thank you for having us, Miu!”

“Yeah, yeah, gimme a big ol’ hug, tree dick,” Miu whines, and she tugs Gonta down with a surprising amount of strength, pressing his head directly against her chest. “Oh! An’ I’m sure the sober sticks in the fuckin’ mud’ll walk you out. G’night…”

Gonta stands once again, face just about as red as Miu’s low-cut cocktail dress, and Shuichi stifles a laugh, threading their fingers together as they head down the hall. Sure enough, some of their sober friends are actually seeing them off. The stoop proves to be _very_ icy, so Shuichi takes care to walk very deliberately around the patches of frost. Unfortunately, the very next step Shuichi takes sends him falling straight on his back into the snowy lawn.

Well, it would have if Gonta hadn’t caught him. Then again, ‘caught’ is a loose statement here, given that Gonta had only managed to keep Shuichi’s head off the ground, his own body looming over Shuichi’s in the snow, his free hand next to Shuichi’s face. Shuichi very nearly bursts out laughing, but then Gonta’s hand is moving from the back of his head to cup his face.

And then he leans closer, and Shuichi’s breath hitches as their lips meet for the second time that night. He lets his eyes flutter closed and his hands come up to rest on Gonta’s back, but his mind is positively racing as their kiss continues. As Gonta’s lips push ever-so-slightly against his own, Shuichi wonders what exactly this kiss means. He doesn’t really know if anyone’s watching them; he hadn’t really been paying attention to whether anyone had followed them fully out of the house.

If someone _is_ seeing them, this makes sense. Objectively, this is a romantic situation, and it would absolutely follow for them to be kissing in the snow. But if no one is around, why is Gonta kissing him? Has something changed? Is their dynamic mixed up now? What does this mean for them? Not that Shuichi entirely minds, this is quite nice, actually, but what does this do to their whole plan? If Gonta has feelings for him, depending on the duration, this could change so much. And Shuichi’s honestly a little terrified.

Now that Gonta’s pulling away, Shuichi keeps his eyes closed. Maybe if he keeps them closed, nothing has to change, and— “Sorry, Tenko was watching,” Gonta murmurs against his lips, and Shuichi lets his eyes open again. That...makes much more sense. Shuichi nods, giving Gonta a small smile, and Gonta helps him up. Gonta’s driver has pulled up, but Shuichi sees Kokichi hanging around the doorframe, and he hesitates. “Shuichi? You coming?”

Shuichi bites his bottom lip, but he shakes his head. “Give me a minute, I’ll catch up with you, okay?” he asks, and Gonta nods, giving his hand a quick squeeze before heading off towards the car. Shuichi crosses his arms. “Seriously. What’s your problem?”

“Y’know, that was actually pretty convincing. Maybe I was wrong,” Kokichi hums, looking rather bored, and Shuichi rolls his eyes. He’s hoping Kokichi will just drop it. Maybe he doesn’t even have to worry about warning Gonta. But then Kokichi clears his throat. “Then again, you could just be amping up your deception game.”

Shuichi wants to bite back, wants to retort, but it’s not even worth it. So he squares his shoulders and takes a deep breath. “Happy New Year. Have a good night,” he says through gritted teeth, and he makes his way over to the car. Evidently, the stress is showing on his face, because Gonta gives him a concerned look as the driver pulls back onto the road. Shuichi just shakes his head, patting Gonta’s hand gently. “I’ll tell you about it when we get back.”

Gonta nods, and Shuichi attempts to stifle his yawn, but to no avail. Gonta pulls Shuichi closer and smiles. “Shuichi can nap if he want to,” Gonta says quietly, and Shuichi lets himself lean on Gonta’s shoulder. “Happy New Year, Shuichi.”

“Happy New Year…”


	25. Once More With Feeling

The train rolls quietly, smoothly down the tracks, and Shuichi takes a deep breath as he looks out over the passing scenery. He’d forgotten how peaceful the ride is. The blur of green and white is soft and relaxing; Shuichi’s very glad to be here, even considering how crazy their circumstances are. Their compartment is toasty enough to keep the winter chill out and cool enough so that he’s not sweating in his hoodie. The perfect temperature.

He glances over at Gonta, who doesn’t seem to be enjoying the train ride nearly as much, brows furrowed as he stares, unfocused, at the book in his lap. Shuichi nudges his side, and he almost jumps, hand over his heart. “You alright, man?” Shuichi asks, and Gonta nods, though he’s got this weirdly concentrated look on his face. “Hey, what’s going on? You can talk to me, i-if you want. Gonta, whatever’s bothering you, I’m always here to listen.”

Gonta hesitates, but he nods again after a moment. “Gonta just...not sure this plan gonna work, Shuichi,” he says, and Shuichi frowns. The entire premise of the fake breakup had been Gonta’s idea this time. It could just be Gonta’s insecurity setting in, but Shuichi suspects it runs deeper than that. “A-And what if we stuck like this? N-Not that Gonta not enjoy Shuichi’s company! It just...Shuichi prolly tired of Gonta by now…”

“No, no, not at all!” Shuichi insists, though judging by the look on Gonta’s face, he doesn’t seem to believe it. Now that Shuichi’s getting a good look at his face, actually, it seems like he’s exhausted. There are faint bags under his eyes, and their usual sparkle is dulled. “You should get some rest before we get back. Everything’ll be okay. Here, use my shoulder as a pillow.”

Gonta chuckles, but he leans down nonetheless, resting his head on Shuichi’s shoulder. Smiling as Gonta starts to drift off, Shuichi plugs his headphones in and gears up for the rest of the train ride.

*****

Shuichi takes both of Gonta’s hands in his own, smiling gently up at him. “It’s gonna be alright, I promise. We’ve got this. It’s just a quick explanation that we grew apart over the rest of the break,” he says, and Gonta nods, though he still looks rather nervous. Shuichi gives both his hands a squeeze and steels himself, one hand on the doors to the dorms. He glances back up at Gonta. “Just relax, I’ve got your back.”

Nodding, Gonta tightens his grip on their bags. He’d insisted on carrying them, even though Shuichi had tried to tell him not to worry about it. Shuichi wonders when this whole thing is going to blow over. Granted, Gonta had been a lot more nervous about ending things smoothly once Shuichi had told him about what Kokichi had said at the New Year’s party, but they’ve got a foolproof breakup plan that should free them both amicably enough for everyone.

Unfortunately, that all gets thrown out the window as soon as they open the door.

**“Surprise!”**

Shuichi is suddenly thrown back to September, those first few days of tentative rulemaking, storyboarding their fake relationship, going over hypotheticals. But he has no clue what  _ this _ surprise party is for. He does his best to look excited, though, as he glances around the room for anything telling. Sure enough, there’s a  _ Happy Birthday! _ banner in the corner of the lobby. At that, Shuichi’s brow furrows. It’s Gonta’s birthday?

Nevertheless, both he and Gonta greet everyone with smiles and thank you’s. He stays by Gonta’s side, wondering why Gonta hadn’t told him that today is his birthday. Gonta looks nervous, though a little less so with every minute more. Miu hurries up and yanks him down by his shoulders, strapping a party hat to his head. She does the same to Shuichi, which he personally finds a little rude.

“B-But it not Gonta’s birthday today,” Gonta says after things have somewhat settled down, and Shuichi lets out a sigh of relief he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in. At least he’s not  _ that _ bad of a friend. Gonta turns to the rest of their classmates, positively beaming. “Th-Thank you, though! It very sweet of everyone to have party for Gonta!”

It really is. Shuichi wonders why they’d left him out of the planning, though. Surely, Kokichi hadn’t said anything. If he had, Maki, Tenko, and Kirumi would likely already be after Shuichi’s hide. “Of course, tree dick,” Miu tells Gonta, playfully punching his shoulder. He grins at her and sweeps her up into a hug. “Oi, oi, put me down! E-Everyone’s gonna see up my skirt…”

“I got you, don’t worry,” Kaede says, and sure enough, she’s standing in front of them, though Gonta had quickly gone to put Miu down per her request. She winks at Shuichi, but he hasn’t a clue why. Miu presses a quick kiss to Kaede’s cheek before hurrying off to what looks like the drink table—and, really, drinks at three in the afternoon is a little much in Shuichi’s opinion, especially given that this is a party for Gonta—and Kaede turns to Gonta. “Hey, hey, you’re turning twenty-one soon! You excited?”

Gonta nods, though Shuichi gets the gut feeling he’s actually nervous. Maybe he’s projecting a little. “Gonta not usually celebrate his birthday like this,” he admits, and Shuichi is struck by the ever-there urge to insult Gonta’s parents. “I-It very nice! Very sweet of everyone. But, um…”

He trails off, and Shuichi puts a hand on his arm. What’s wrong? Is he nervous? Overwhelmed, maybe? Gonta  _ does _ excuse the two of them and leads Shuichi to the hallway, which is, thankfully, empty. “Everything okay? You look worried,” Shuichi says, and Gonta shrugs, making a bit of a face. Okay, that one’s new. “What’s bothering you?”

“Gonta just thought...everything would be over now. B-But Gonta not mind keeping up plan for little bit more!” he insists in a hushed voice, and Shuichi gives him a sad smile. Their breakup plots really  _ do _ always get foiled. He can understand if Gonta’s getting antsy about ending the charade. “A-And Gonta...think maybe something gonna happen. Just—! It gut feeling, prolly nothing, but…”

“No, no, I trust your instincts,” Shuichi says, and he suddenly feels the need to straighten Gonta’s tie for him. His fingers twitch at his sides, but ultimately, he keeps them still. “I’ll ask them about cake, and as soon as that’s done, we’ll head into our rooms, okay? Ending things tomorrow is probably our best bet, I think. A-Ah, but what do you think? Again, I really  _ do _ trust your instincts.”

Gonta looks a bit sheepish at Shuichi’s insistence, but he hums uncertainly. “Prolly good to get back to room early and pretend-breakup tomorrow,” he agrees, and apparently, he can tell that Shuichi’s unsure of whether his suggestion had swayed Gonta’s opinion, because Gonta crosses his arms. “Really. Gonta think that a good idea. Promise.”

“I just don’t want you to feel pressured to agree with me, that’s all,” Shuichi mumbles, and Gonta gives him that soft smile. That...actually makes him feel a lot better about this now. He takes Gonta’s hand in his and they head back into the lobby. He nudges Miu. “So, uh, is there a cake, or…?”

She snorts and nods, grabbing Kiibo and Kaede and taking—well, more like dragging—them back towards the kitchen. Shuichi grins up at Gonta, but his smile isn’t returned. He tilts his head in a silent question, but Gonta just shakes his head. Okay, so clearly Gonta’s gut feeling is a lot more intense than Shuichi had initially thought. Still, though, they wait for Miu and the others to bring the cake back.

And, for a good few minutes, their troubles are forgotten, seeing as Gonta absolutely lights up when everyone starts singing to him. Shuichi smiles as he watches Gonta blow out the candles, and Gonta’s hand finds a familiar place in the middle of Shuichi’s back as Kirumi and Maki start handing out cake slices to everyone. Shuichi’s not the biggest fan of devil’s chocolate, so he and Gonta split a piece. Well, if one’s definition of splitting a piece is Shuichi picking at the decorative icing roses and Gonta scarfing down the actual cake.

And, of course, their little happiness bubble just  _ has _ to pop.

“So, Gonta and I are a little tired from the trip back,” Shuichi starts to say, but Kaede shushes him, assuring him they just need a few more minutes. That  _ definitely _ cannot bode well. Not for the plan, and surely not for Shuichi’s sanity. “A-Are you sure? It’s just—we’ve been on the train all day, y’know, and—you’re not listening to me.”

And she most certainly is not. Instead, she’s going up to stand next to Miu, and Gonta suddenly gets this look on his face, kind of like a cornered wild animal, and Shuichi puts a hand on his arm, wondering what had apparently struck the fear of God in the poor guy so suddenly. And then Miu pulls out an envelope from a place Shuichi would definitely not like to dwell on, and Shuichi immediately understands.

But there’s nothing he can do. It’s like watching an asteroid heading towards a planet at full speed. “We decided to get you virgin fuckers a resort stay again! I came up with the idea because I’m a goddamned genius, you can thank me later by sending me a tape of whatever you two happen to—ack!” Miu squawks as Kaede pinches her ear.

_ “Anyways. _ We got you guys another reservation at the resort! We figured it would be super romantic to go back,” Kaede says, ever-so-sweetly, and Shuichi resists the growing primal urge to scream. Gonta seems to be stuck in smile and nod mode, and Shuichi pulls Kaede into a hug to thank her. “Okay, you two. Go ahead and get all unpacked, and then get packed up again for next weekend!”

Shuichi tries his best to make his grimace look like an excited grin, and he presses a quick peck to Gonta’s cheek before departing for his dorm room. Once the door is closed behind him, he slumps against it and groans, running his hands over his face. This is a complete and utter disaster.

Granted, it’s very sweet of their friends to be giving them yet another vacation, and while, yeah, it had been really cool of everyone to plan a surprise party, Shuichi feels a little miffed. No one had told him Gonta’s birthday is coming up. Not even Gonta, but that, at least, can be explained given everything Shuichi knows about him. It’s likely he doesn’t want to be a burden or make Shuichi feel pressured about it.

But he feels a little inadequate now, given that not only had their friends prepared a surprise party, but an entire vacation. And, yeah, they’re not  _ really _ dating, but it’s still kind of shitty that he doesn’t even know when Gonta’s birthday is. How are they even supposed to get out of this one? It just feels like they’re being constantly forced into keeping this crazy plan up by whatever fate of the universe thinks that this cosmic joke is just  _ hilarious. _

It’s inconvenient, of course, but more than that, it’s just sucky to be keeping them both in this charade for so long. On the other hand, without it, Shuichi wouldn’t have gotten to know Gonta so well. Then again, is the price of friendship his sanity? God, Shuichi should really take his own advice and get some more sleep.

Shuichi jolts as the door shakes a bit—someone’s knocking. He stands quickly and tosses his suitcase on the bed. He opens the door and is met face-to-face with Gonta. “Hey,” Shuichi says softly, and Gonta gives him a slightly sad smile. Shuichi lets him in, closing the door quietly behind him. “So...another vacation. You, uh, feeling okay?”

Gonta nods, but he looks tense. Shuichi reaches out halfway, but he pulls his hand back. He’s not sure if Gonta would welcome his assurances at the moment, considering Shuichi’s the reason he’s stuck in this mess. “Gonta just...this a little stressful,” Gonta admits, brows furrowed, and Shuichi nods, eyes closed. Gonta settles down on the edge of the bed, hands pressed to his mouth.

Shuichi sits down next to him, and this time, his hand meets Gonta’s bicep. “I’m so sorry, Gonta, I...this whole thing is my fault. I-I should just go out there and end this whole debacle. Taking the fall for the ‘breakup’ can’t be  _ that _ bad, right?” Shuichi asks, and Gonta laughs weakly. Yeah, no, it’s a horrible idea. But he at least owes it to Gonta to try. “Plus, i-if I do, then you can have a birthday vacation with someone you  _ actually _ want to spend it with.”

Surprisingly enough, Gonta looks a little upset. “Gonta love spending time with Shuichi, fake dating not change that,” he says, putting his hand over Shuichi’s. Something feels off about this moment, and something squirms in Shucihi’s gut, so he squeezes Gonta’s arm and pulls his hand away. Gonta clears his throat and fidgets with the bottom of his tie. “It just...Gonta not think it would last such long time.”

Shuichi nods. He gets that. He hadn’t thought this would have gotten so blown out of proportion. “A-And I am  _ so _ sorry. This was supposed to have been over and done with in September, and now it’s January, and I’ve taken up so much of your time,” Shuichi starts, but Gonta just shakes his head with that same sad smile. “No, no, I  _ do _ owe you an apology. A lot of apologies, actually…”

“Shuichi, it okay. Really. Gonta just...very tired of pretending,” Gonta says, his voice laced with a sigh, and Shuichi completely understands. He’s also really tired of pretending. But he’ll go by whatever Gonta decides. It really is the least he can do. “Gonta think maybe we should go on vacation. We not have to pretend there, anyway.”   
  


That  _ is _ fair. Plus, Shuichi could use a vacation after...well, his ‘vacation.’ He leans his head on Gonta’s shoulder and sighs. Sitting like this is always nice. But something still  _ is _ bothering Shuichi. He sits up a bit and twists so that he can properly look at Gonta. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me your birthday was coming up?” he asks, and Gonta tilts his head in confusion.

“What you mean?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi fully sits up now. He crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow playfully, and Gonta shrugs helplessly. “Gonta just not think it was important! No one really want to do anything before this year, so…”

For that, Shuichi feels a little bit guilty. Then again, he and Gonta hadn’t nearly been this close even half a year ago. “I would have liked to do something with you. O-Or planned a party or gotten you a present or...well, anything, really,” Shuichi says a tad sheepishly, and Gonta smiles at him. “Plus, I kind of owe it to you.”

“You not owe Gonta anything,” Gonta tells him, looking a little incredulous. Shuichi would argue otherwise. He’s put Gonta through so much over these last couple months, and all he wants to do is make it up to him. Unfortunately, Gonta’s not exactly the type of guy to ask for things or even favors, so there’s no easy answer. “Really, Shuichi not owe anything. You not have to feel bad. Gonta choosing to keep it up anyway, so…”

“I’m the reason we’re stuck in this mess, though. I’m the one who came up with an asinine plan and I’ve basically given you an ungodly amount of stress and problems in your life that you shouldn’t have to deal with. You don’t deserve that, and I don’t deserve your kindness, Gonta, I really don’t,” Shuichi says, his voice noticeably shaky. Gonta makes to protest, but Shuichi shakes his head. “And, honestly, I know you’re going to argue, but...Gonta, I’m  _ sorry.” _

Biting his lip, Gonta nods. “Yeah,” he says, and Shuichi looks down to see their hands inches away on the bedspread. Then, there’s another knock at the door, and that’s actually pretty surprising. Maybe it’s Kaede. Gonta glances over his shoulder, then back at Shuichi. “You want Gonta to get the door?”

“No, no, I’ve got it, don’t worry,” Shuichi says, snapping out of his mini-trance and heading over to the door. He shakes his head and scratches at the back of his neck, taking a deep breath as he twists the knob. Unfortunately, it’s not Kaede. Nor is it anyone Shuichi feels like seeing right now. “What do you want, Kokichi?”

Bouncing into the room, Kokichi gives the two of them a rather fake smile. “Just wanted to check on you two lovebirds! So, is this one more than a friend vacation?” he asks, and Shuichi crosses his arms, leaning against the door to keep it open. Not that Kokichi responds to passive aggressiveness—or aggressiveness, for that matter—but just to ensure the hint has been made.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Shuichi says, even though all three of them very much do. Kokichi looks rather unimpressed, and Shuichi hopes Gonta isn’t feeling  _ too _ nervous. “But I  _ am _ looking forward to a romantic getaway with my boyfriend for his birthday, if that’s what you’re asking.”

He’s hoping this stare-down will result in Kokichi leaving, but then again, nothing ever does. “I should hope so,” Kokichi says, annoyingly sing-songy. Shuichi tilts his head towards the hallway, and yet Kokichi continues to ignore the hint. “Gonta, you look a little pale! Everything...alright?”

Gonta gulps and nods. Shuichi sends him an apologetic smile. Kokichi studies his face for a moment, then he shrugs and leaves the room. Thank goodness. Shuichi closes the door a little too hard behind him and he settles back down on the edge of the bed with Gonta, who slumps down, face in his hands.

“I’m really sorry,” Shuichi says, and Gonta waves dismissively. This whole ordeal just got ten times more stressful. They just have to get through this last vacation and then this can all be over. They sit in silence for a few more minutes, stewing in anxiety and slight paranoia. For a brief moment, Shuichi wonders if Gonta’s going to end up resenting him. Then again, this is Gonta he’s thinking about. “My offer still stands, by the way. I promise, if you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to. I’ve got no problem taking the fall.”

Gonta shakes his head. “No, no, it okay. Really. Gonta not upset, just...very tired,” he says, and Shuichi huffs out a quiet laugh. So they could  _ both _ use some sleep, as it seems. Shuichi does hesitate, though, as Gonta pulls out the envelope Miu had been holding from his pocket. “You wanna see itinerary for this one? Gonta was waiting ’til he with Shuichi to read it.”

Shuichi snorts, but he nods, and Gonta opens it up. He scans over it, leaning a bit closer to see properly. “So...we’ve got the classic couple’s massage and spa day, and—ooh, I didn’t know the resort has an indoor pool too,” Shuichi says, and Gonta beams at him. The third thing on the list makes Shuichi wrinkle his nose up. “Oh, jeez, an evening yoga class? That’s definitely not my cup of tea. Then again, it’s  _ your _ birthday trip.”

Nodding, Gonta points to Saturday’s schedule. “There a tour of the park. Could be nice,” he says, and Shuichi has to admit that it does sound pretty chill. Especially for something their friend group had been planning. Gonta suddenly brightens up, grinning with excitement. “Ooh, laser tag! A-And arcade games!”

Sure enough, ‘private laser tag game’ is listed on the itinerary, right before ‘two hour full pass at the arcade’ and a suspiciously unspecified dinner. “That actually sounds like a lot of fun,” he says, and Gonta nods again, much more eagerly this time. Shuichi wonders why he’s so excited over laser tag at some arcade. Well, he shouldn’t discount it off the bat. “Oh, look at that! Our Sunday is completely free!”

He turns to smile at Gonta, only to find them nearly nose-to-nose with each other, seeing that Gonta’s already smiling down at him. Shuichi freezes up as his breath hitches, and Gonta’s big eyes blink slowly back at him. Clearing his throat, Shuichi turns back to the itinerary. That had been weird. Close proximity isn’t exactly new to them, but it’s never like that when they’re alone together. Weird.

“Gonta should prolly finish unpacking,” Gonta says, running a hand through the loose strands of hair framing his face. Shuichi nods, glaring at his own messy suitcase. They’ve still got their first week of classes to get through before the trip even starts, at least. Gonta stands and stretches with a yawn, and Shuichi hurries to hold the door for him. They reach the doorway, but Gonta pauses suddenly. “Twenty-third.”

Shuichi blinks the sleepiness from his eyes and blinks up at Gonta. “I—huh? Sorry?” he asks, wondering why Gonta’s giving him some random number.

Gonta just smiles gently at him. “Shuichi wanna know what day Gonta’s birthday is,” he says simply, and Shuichi manages a quiet ‘oh,’ leaning on the forearm he’s using to hold the door open. “It on the twenty-third.”

“Right,” Shuichi says, “thanks. Thank you. A-And goodnight. Sleep well.”

“Shuichi too.”

And as the door closes, Shuichi wonders why that weird feeling in his gut is back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! sorry i haven't been answering comments as much lately, i've been in sort of a slump :( but i really do appreciate everyone's feedback and all of your kind comments!!


	26. Oops, All Feelings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters today!!! i felt bad about not uploading for like a week, haha,,,

“Oh, it’s you two! Welcome back to the resort,” the receptionist says with what is clearly a customer service smile present on her face. Shuichi gives her a tired wave, and Gonta hands over their vouchers and his ID. It’s funny, how easily Shuichi finds his tired self nestled into Gonta’s side in comparison to their first trip here. “Alright, you’re up on the top floor this time! Twenty oh-seven.”

She hands them their room key and bids them an overly-polite goodbye. Gonta leads the two of them out of the lobby and towards the elevators. Shuichi’s eyes are half-open, lashes fluttering as he does his best to stay awake. Gonta smiles softly at him, a hand rubbing the middle of Shuichi’s back gently. It’s really sweet, and Shuichi nods a silent thanks as they step into the elevator together.

It’s different, this time around. They’re far more comfortable with each other now, and Shuichi doesn’t bother stifling his yawn as he moves further into Gonta’s side. He’s so warm, and Shuichi’s still really tired, considering they’d had to get up even earlier than the last time for their check-in. He doesn’t even have the energy to feel woozy at the floors they’re rapidly going past in the little glass elevator.

Gonta’s chuckling very quietly as he leads Shuichi down the hall towards their room, and Shuichi mock-glares at him groggily, which results in him looking like he’s just squinting at Gonta. As soon as the door to their room is open, Shuichi flops down onto the bed, not even bothering to note the fact that there’s only one again, and he shoves his face into the pillow. There’s some shuffling, then a tap on his shoulder, and Shuichi resists the urge to whine like a little kid at the interruption to his incoming power nap.

Instead, there’s a warm glow blooming in his chest as Gonta holds up the room’s coffee pitcher with an understanding smile. “Same as last time?” he asks, voice just as soft as his expression, and Shuichi nods, practically melting into the pillow as soon as Gonta turns away again. It’s easy to drift off knowing that Gonta’s there to ease him awake with coffee and a smile about as bright as the sun.

Strangely, Shuichi’s subconscious is choosing to dream about that moment just past midnight on New Year’s in the snow. It’s odd. There’s no chill, but the snow is soft and pillowy underneath him; ironically enough, Gonta’s above him, radiating warmth, and Shuichi watches his hands reach up to pull him closer, but not close enough. Something in his soul aches as their foreheads press together, their visible puffs of breath intertwining.

But that’s not at all how that had happened. It had just been a quick kiss, and Shuichi’s hands had been on Gonta’s back, not gently holding his face. There hadn’t been a soft glow between them, and their lips weren’t a hair’s breadth away. There had been no warmth, no soft pliancy to the snow. And Gonta hadn’t been saying his name, either.

Wait.

Gonta’s actually saying his name. Shuichi blinks, wincing at the bright light that’s filled the room. Turns out, Gonta had opened the curtains, but the sting of the sun is dampened by the smell of fresh coffee under his nose. “You, my friend, are a godsend,” Shuichi murmurs, taking the warm mug—just hot enough to not burn his hands—and sipping from it. Gonta smiles at him and heads over to his bag, rummaging through it.

“Shuichi still tired, or you wanna go to couple’s massage?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi hums as he sits up properly. He’s well aware of how bad his bedhead is, but he still glares playfully at Gonta when he stifles a laugh behind his hands. Which is something Shuichi wishes he’d stop doing, considering his laugh and his smile are both very nice. “S-Sorry, Shuichi’s bed hair a little funny…”

Well, that’s certainly a way to phrase it. Shuichi feels his face heat up, but he just waves dismissively, a silent way of telling Gonta there’s no need to apologize. “I’m good to go for the stuff on the itinerary,” he says, setting the mug down for a minute to check the time on his phone. They’ve still got a good bit of time. “Just needed a little nap...mmh.”

He stretches, and when he relaxes again, Gonta’s looking at him. A quick check of his shirt reveals nothing embarrassing like drool, so he tilts his head in question. “Ah, s-sorry, Gonta just...lost in thought,” he says, and Shuichi nods. He gets that. They share each other’s company in relative silence as Gonta reorganizes his things and Shuichi polishes off his coffee. When Gonta notices that he has, he offers a hand. “Shuichi ready to go?”

Shuichi nods and gladly takes Gonta’s hand, stretching when he stands. They go back down the hall and into those glass elevators again, all the way down to the fourth floor. It’s just as tranquil and sterile-looking as Shuichi recalls, though there’s a different receptionist this time. He stays back to let Gonta ask about their appointment, thumbing through a few different brochures they have on the tables as he waits.

Turns out that this resort is actually pretty big on couples activities. There’s scuba diving and rooftop dinners and all sorts of cheesy romance movie stuff. Shuichi chuckles quietly as he puts the brochures back, and Gonta walks over to wait with him. “Our appointment’s starting soon, right?” he asks, and Gonta nods, peeking at the scuba diving pamphlet. Shuichi snorts. “Looks like it’s super expensive, even if scuba diving seems really cool. Besides, it’s freezing.”

Gonta hums in agreement, making a face. “Gonta not like the cold much,” he admits, and Shuichi tilts his head in what he hopes is a silent question. Thankfully, Gonta picks up on it, and he shrugs. “Just...bad memories.”

Ouch. Shuichi puts a hand on Gonta’s arm gently, brows furrowed. The next question, whether the bad memories are from the woods, goes unasked as well, and Gonta just nods, glancing away. Jeez, Shuichi can’t even imagine. Ten years on his own, and with those harsh winters, it’s no wonder Gonta’s not a fan of the cold.    
  


“An appointment for Gokuhara?” a masseuse’s voice calls, and they both stand, heading back with the masseuse to one of the rooms. It’s just as aesthetically zen as it had been the first time, but unlike that first time, Gonta tosses his shirt over his head with ease once the masseuse leaves the room.

And evidently, Shuichi  _ had _ forgotten one thing.

It’s hard to tear his eyes away from those muscles, because again, Shuichi’s not blind. He laughs awkwardly, though he doesn’t know why, it’s not as though Gonta had noticed him staring. As he mentally chastises himself, his own shirt comes off, and Gonta makes a noise of what’s probably surprise. Shuichi turns around, and Gonta starts to apologize, his face rather red, but Shuichi waves a hand dismissively.

“I-It just—! Shuichi getting muscle now,” Gonta explains, and Shuichi very nearly scoffs. Him of all people gaining any sort of muscle? Evidently, Gonta can see the incredulity on Shuichi’s face, and he huffs, marching over and putting both his hands on Shuichi’s shoulders. He traces a finger down, and into a little definitive line Shuichi hadn’t known was there before. “See? Muscle building here, prolly ’cuz Shuichi and Kaito working so hard…”

Stupidly, Shuichi attempts to crane his neck to see what Gonta’s talking about, but he simply finds himself nose-to-nose with Gonta, who’s still studying the muscles along his shoulders intently. “I...didn’t even notice,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods, tracing that hand back up and pressing his fingers into Shuichi’s trapezius just slightly. Some of the tension there melts away, and Shuichi sighs contently, leaning into the touch. Suddenly, the intimacy of the moment feels overwhelming, and Shuichi’s muddled brain immediately attempts to diffuse. “We should, ah, probably leave some of the work to the masseuse, r-right?”

Gonta blinks, then nods, stepping back and giving Shuichi a nervous little smile before lying down on one of the massage tables. Shuichi follows suit, and he tries to calm that weird feeling that’s appeared in his gut again with a few deep breaths. Shuichi’s surprised Gonta had even noticed that.

And, when the masseuse is working through the tension in Shuichi’s muscles, he briefly wonders why it doesn’t feel as nice as Gonta’s momentary massage.

*****

The indoor pool party’s vibes this time around are far different than the tiki party they’d been to the first time they’d been here. It’s much calmer—no kids are running around, at least. Shuichi sets up their stuff on one of the chairs, turning to Gonta once they’re set up. “Right, I’m gonna go grab a drink from the bar. You want anything?” he asks, and Gonta shakes his head.

Shuichi leaves him to the lounge chair, and he rolls his shoulders on his way to get a drink, still feeling the effects of the massage. As he places his order, he glances back at Gonta. A small smile perks up on his face as he watches Gonta pick up the biology book he’d brought along and open it up to what isn’t hard to figure out is the insect section. It’s very...him.

When Shuichi turns around to place his order, he gets the immediate feeling that something is very off. The hairs at the back of his neck prick up, the way they do whenever someone’s staring at him. He does his best to ignore it as he hands the bartender his card, and thankfully, it doesn’t feel like that for too long. Shuichi’s happy to just take his drink and go back to their lounge chairs, but there’s someone already in his.

A guy, about their age, less lanky than Shuichi but just a bit taller than him, is currently very obviously flirting with Gonta. A hand on Gonta’s arm as he laughs, batting his lashes enough that Shuichi can see it from here. Gonta, however, looks a bit nervous, if Shuichi’s not mistaken, and he’s fairly certain he’s not seeing things.

Steeling himself, he heads over, plastering a less-than-sincere smile on his face as he sets his drink down on the little side table next to Gonta’s lounge chair. “Hey! Did you miss me?” he asks, hoping his tone sounds more joking than it does worried. Gonta’s shoulders slump in relief, and he nods.

“Glad you’re back,” he says, reaching out to give Shuichi’s hand a squeeze. The guy from earlier, though, seems unimpressed. Shuichi threads his fingers through Gonta’s hair, pretending to gaze at him fondly so he can watch the guy’s reaction from the corner of his eye. Suddenly, Gonta jolts, and he makes to stand. “H-Here, Shuichi should sit—!”

And suddenly, Shuichi’s struck with an idea, and he shakes his head with a smile. “Nah, we can share,” he offers, and Gonta nods, though he tilts his head a bit in confusion. Swallowing his pride, Shuichi clambers onto Gonta’s lap, arms linked behind his neck. Their faces are both rather red as Shuichi leans forward to murmur in Gonta’s ear. “If this is at all uncomfortable, just say the word, okay? I-Is it—would it help if I kissed you?”

Gonta nods just slightly, and Shuichi pulls back enough to slot their lips together. Gonta pushes back against him, just a bit, and Shuichi figures that’s probably his nerves. Maybe Gonta’s never been hit on before like this, which is probably why he’s clinging to Shuichi’s waist a bit anxiously. Shuichi hums, leaning closer and letting his hands cup Gonta’s face. As they pull away, Shuichi lets his forehead rest against Gonta’s, his chest heaving slightly as he attempts to catch his breath.

“Thank you,” Gonta says, very quietly, his lips a ghost against Shuichi’s own. Shuichi nods, absentmindedly smoothing his thumbs over Gonta’s flushed cheeks. Gonta glances to his right, then gives Shuichi an apologetic smile as he leans back in. Shuichi lets his eyes flutter shut, his hands sliding from Gonta’s face to his hair. He hopes this is somewhat convincing. Gonta pulls away again after a moment with a hum. “All clear…”

Shuichi smiles a bit nervously. For some reason, there’s that weird feeling in his gut again; maybe he’d eaten something he shouldn’t have. “Right, I’ll, uh, get off of you, then,” he says, clambering off of Gonta’s lap and tentatively patting his shoulder. Yikes. He closes his eyes in embarrassment and moves over to his now empty lounge chair. It’s quiet for a bit, just them awkwardly staring out at the pool. Once Shuichi can’t take the tension, his big stupid mouth opens up again. “So, uh, couples yoga.”

Surprisingly, Gonta lets out a little laugh at that, and it seems to take even him off guard. “Yeah, it sound like fun, even if we not  _ really _ a couple,” he says, and Shuichi nods. He’s not a fan of yoga—or much exercise, to that point—but it probably won’t be  _ too _ much of a workout, all things considered. “And Gonta just wanna say thank you. For coming. Even though Shuichi not wanna be here ’cuz of…”

He gestures at nothing in particular, but Shuichi frowns. “I mean, yeah, this isn’t  _ ideal, _ but I’m not burdened or anything. Being with you—hanging out with you...it’s nice,” Shuichi tells him, leaning over slightly to knock his knuckles gently against Gonta’s bicep. “And I’m happy to be here, for what it’s worth.”

Gonta smiles at him, and this time, when they look out over the pool, it’s much less tense.

*****

Shuichi is going to cry.

They’re only five minutes into these stupid stretches and he’s already sweating. Seriously, though, why does anyone need to do this many toe-touches ever?! As he stands from the bajillionth one, he wipes his palms on his shorts and playfully glares at Gonta, who seems very much unaffected by the stretches.

Then, they have to stretch out their triceps, and Shuichi watches the muscles in Gonta’s arm strain. Evidently, he’s not the only one watching, and Shuichi’s brow furrows a little at that, but he decides to stick with focusing on his own stretches for now. The instructor has them go through a few more, stretching out muscles Shuichi hadn’t even known were ones you  _ could  _ stretch, and he and Gonta end up sitting back to back on their mats, taking deep breaths when the instructor tells them to.

It feels a little silly, in all honesty, and Shuichi almost laughs a few times. But then Gonta’s head tilts back just slightly, enough to rest against Shuichi’s, and his eyes go wide. Sometimes he forgets how much taller Gonta is, even sitting down. Shuichi tilts his head back too, and he can feel the vibrations of Gonta’s silent laughter through his back. He smiles too, but a raised eyebrow from the instructor quickly makes him compose himself and continue those deep breaths.

They go through a few different poses, mostly ones that Shuichi finds incredibly difficult. Some of his limbs twist in ways he’s not entirely sure they’re supposed to be twisting in, but for the most part, it’s pretty bearable. Gonta seems to be having fun, at the very least, which means that Shuichi’s temporary muscle ache is worth it.

“Alright, now we’ll be moving into yab yum,” the instructor says, and Shuichi wonders what exactly that means. “Whichever partner is stronger here, sit cross-legged on your mat—full lotus posture, if you can. Then, your partner should sit on top of your thighs, with their ankles crossed behind your back. Make sure you keep your spines straight, with your third eyes touching. Try to get your breathing in sync as well.”

Well, that’s a little different than what they’d just been doing. Shuichi hesitantly turns to Gonta, who’s already sitting cross-legged. Of  _ course _ he’s great at yoga. Is there any physical activity he isn’t good at? Shuichi starts to follow his own half of the instructions, but he freezes up. This pose is kind of...sensual. And, yeah, that makes sense considering they’re at a couples yoga class, but it’s still really awkward for the two of them.

But Gonta just tilts his head like there’s nothing weird or wrong about this, and Shuichi’s not about to make things even more tense than they already are. So he sucks it up and gets on Gonta’s lap for the second time today, linking his ankles at the base of Gonta’s spine. They put their foreheads against each other and take a deep breath together. It’s kind of nice, but Shuichi doesn’t really know what to do with his hands.

Gonta has his on Shuichi’s waist for stability, and Shuichi’s not exactly about to attempt to do the same, considering how they’re sitting. So he just loops his arms over Gonta’s neck and settles there, smiling when Gonta does. It’s nice. The moment is quiet, Shuichi honestly feels pretty relaxed, and Gonta seems happy.

Gonta’s thumb rubs at Shuichi’s side absentmindedly, and Shuichi hums, playing with a strand of Gonta’s hair. He wonders why Gonta’s such a tactile person. Gonta’s very physically affectionate with all of his friends—big sweeping hugs, reassuring hand touches, pats on the back, things like that. Shuichi wonders if maybe that’s how Gonta sees affection in general, if maybe the reason he puts himself down so easily is that he doesn’t see words on the same level.

Shuichi’s not as good at that sort of stuff. He’s a bit touch-starved in general, but he’s not big on physical affection, at least when it’s not with someone he’s close to. Gonta seems to have enough love for anyone and everyone; his heart is so big and open, and Shuichi kind of wants to protect that vulnerability. He supposes that right now is a good indicator of just how good of friends he and Gonta have become.

And, though he is rather sweaty and kind of feels like collapsing into the nearest bed as soon as possible, Shuichi finds himself having a pretty great time.

When they return to their room, Shuichi eyes the bed with that idea in mind, but he ultimately decides that a shower would probably be better for both of them in the long run. So he gives Gonta a half-hearted thumbs up before he grabs his pyjamas and heads into the bathroom, stripping off his sweaty shirt as soon as the door is closed.

The bathroom is just as nice as when they’d come here the first time, and Shuichi could honestly use a bath after such a long day, but he’s not about to take an hour in the bathroom when Gonta’s probably just as—no, scratch that, he’s probably not—tired as Shuichi. So Shuichi settles for a nice, warm shower, scrubbing away sweat and the ever-lingering smell of the pool with the stupid, poofy loofa.

As he steps out of the bathroom, ruffling his still-wet hair with the towel, Gonta greets him with a tired smile, and he leaves Shuichi to decide which side of the bed he wants to claim. Well, given that the bed is the same size as last time, it’ll probably end up with them practically on top of one another again. Shuichi chuckles weakly at the thought.

Gonta’s really cozy—he’s kind of like a human radiator, come to think of it—and Shuichi realizes that he doesn’t really mind sharing a bed with Gonta. Even if it means they have to cuddle up a bit. It’s probably because they’ve done this so many times already. At some point, it had become less of an awkward-acquaintances situation and more of a tired-friends thing. So Shuichi settles into the left side of the bed, punching the pillow down a few times to get it to stop being so stiff.

Just after he’s managed to get his pillow to a decent shape, Gonta steps out of the bathroom, hair wild and skin still pretty damp, wearing nothing but his pyjama bottoms. Shuichi props himself up on one elbow, but doing so has made his pillow start to expand again, and he groans, slamming his face right back into it.

He feels the mattress dip next to him, and he glances up at Gonta. “Here, Shuichi can use Gonta as pillow instead,” he says, happily offering his chest up for Shuichi to rest on, and Shuichi feels his face go red. It’s one thing to have to be cuddled up for the night, and it’s not as though he’s about to complain, considering he knows first-hand how nice it is to nap on Gonta, but Shuichi wants to be completely sure Gonta’s okay with it. Thankfully, Gonta seems to be able to read his expression. Or his mind. “R-Really, Gonta not mind!”

Well, that settles that, he supposes. Shuichi drapes an arm across Gonta’s torso, pressing his cheek to an incredibly sculpted chest that makes him feel just a tad self-conscious. Gonta leans away a bit to turn off the light, and Shuichi gives him a soft smile in what little remaining light they have. It’s another one of those nice, quiet moments. They’ve been having quite a lot of those as of late.

Shuichi can tell pretty easily as soon as Gonta falls asleep. His breathing slows, and sometimes his nose will twitch a little when a lock of hair brushes over it. Smiling, Shuichi carefully reaches up to gently move it away from Gonta’s face. He looks so peaceful like this. Calm and unbothered and his skin is still damp so his pecs are practically glowing in the moonlight and—not the point. Shuichi shakes his head and chuckles to himself.

He realizes he’s probably been holding that lock of hair back for longer than is necessary, and so he pulls his hand back. Tracing his knuckles delicately over Gonta’s cheek, Shuichi bites back a grin. Gonta’s nose twitches just a little again, and Shuichi starts to lean in to press a quick kiss to it, just because it’s ridiculously cute, and Gonta looks so pretty like this—

Oh.

Oh no.


	27. All Aboard The Struggle Bus

First thing in the morning, Shuichi guns it for the coffee pot. Surely, last night had been nothing but a fluke. He ignores the fluttering in his chest as he breaks away from Gonta very carefully, so as to not disturb his very dear  _ friend, _ blaming it on the fact he’s still tired. After all, that’s why he’d felt the way he had last night. That whole day had tired him out, it’s highly likely that he just hadn’t been thinking clearly.

Now that he can get some caffeine into his system, Shuichi can finally start to think in a logical, rational manner. Obviously, it would be a terrible idea to garner feelings for Gonta right now, considering literally everything they’re webbed up in. Not to mention the fact that if he even were to have feelings for Gonta, continuing the charade would absolutely be taking advantage of the situation, which would be completely and utterly terrible.

The coffee smells delicious, and thankfully, the fact that Shuichi has burned his tongue is enough to distract him. At that, he laughs weakly to himself. He never thought he’d be grateful for a burnt tongue. Jeez, he’s really gotta stop thinking about those feelings—that  _ do not exist, _ he reminds himself. It’s fine. It’s going to be completely fine.

“Mmh...g’morning,” Gonta’s deep, sleepy morning voice says from the bed, and Shuichi lets a dopey grin stretch across his face, sighing into his cup of coffee. Gonta always sounds so nice in the mornings. Ah—! No. No feelings. He needs to take them completely out of the equation in order to assess this with a level head. “How you sleep…?”

Shuichi smiles, turning back to Gonta. “Pretty great, actually,” he says, his voice laced with a nervous chuckle. Gonta returns the sentiment with a tired grin of his own, and Shuichi melts into that grin again. Getting a hold of himself, Shuichi clears his throat. “So, uh...you excited about the park tour? Should be fun.”

Fun,  _ and _ completely platonic.

Gonta nods and sits up fully, grabbing his glasses from the nightstand as Shuichi checks the time on his phone. “Yeah, Gonta very excited,” he says, and the sleep is wearing off, his voice less rough and more of that deep, charming tone it always is. Shuichi takes another sip of his coffee, because apparently, he needs it. Thinking clearly, that’s the goal. Of course, it’s a little hard to think clearly when a very much shirtless Gonta is coming up behind him to check the time over his shoulder.

“Oh, um, happy birthday, by the way,” Shuichi says, glancing up at Gonta. Okay, so it’s still difficult, considering Gonta is  _ right there. _ He can feel his face getting hot, so he takes yet another sip of his ever-dwindling coffee. Gonta hums and smiles at him, and as he brushes his bangs away from his face, Shuichi can trace his eyes over the line of his jaw completely. No! Stop that,  _ think rationally. _ “Right! Ah, w-we should probably start to get ready.”

Gonta nods, and at long last, he pulls away. Shuichi can feel the tension leave his shoulders, and as he checks his phone again, he’s glad to have another distraction in the form of a text from Kaede asking if he has the notes from the bio lecture. Thank god they have a shared class this semester. He had kind of been going insane without anyone he knows in his classes.

“Shuichi? You can take bathroom if you want,” Gonta says, and evidently, he’s already finished getting dressed. It’s that dark peacoat he’d worn on their snow day, and he looks just as good in it. Shuichi is very much tempted to pull that scarf and tug Gonta into—no. Deep breaths. Neither of them need this turmoil right now. “Shuichi?”

“Right, yes—thanks, I’ll go and do that now,” Shuichi mumbles, grabbing an outfit that probably won’t match, along with his jacket. Great, now that he’s so focused on his  _ non-existent _ feelings that he’s getting self-conscious about this. Gripping the sink, Shuichi takes a deep breath and stares himself down. “You’re blowing this out of proportion. Everything is fine. Everything is normal. This is—literally—a walk in the park.”

A few more deep breaths, and he’s fine to get dressed and head back into the room. Gonta greets him with that soft smile, and Shuichi feels a little breathless. Damn it. Well, at least Shuichi can pretend to be focused on the scenery when they head out towards the park. Which, he realizes quickly, is a very romantic park.

Beautiful arches with flowers along the path, a few really gorgeous frozen fountains, and canopies of trees that are barely hanging on to just a few frosted leaves. “Very pretty,” Gonta says, and Shuichi finds himself a little disappointed to see that Gonta’s focused on one of the topiaries that are scattered around the park. “Where tour group? Gonta not see anyone.”

Shuichi shrugs. He honestly has no idea. “We’ve still got, like, an hour and a half until we have laser tag, so...why don’t we take a walk?” he asks, fiddling with the seam of his gloves. Gonta nods, practically beaming as they start to head towards what looks like a gazebo. The wind bites at his cheeks and his nose, and at least he has an excuse for his reddened face that doesn’t involve feelings. And, of course, Shuichi just  _ has _ to run his mouth. “You look really handsome, by the way.”

Gonta perks up at that, giving Shuichi a wide smile. Well, Shuichi’s heart certainly doesn’t feel cold. “Th-Thank you! Shuichi look very handsome, too!” he says, ever cheerful, and Shuichi resists the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl with a crush. Instead, he just smiles shyly and runs a gloved hand through his hair. “Careful, that gonna make it stand up.”

Probably static electricity, but Shuichi doesn’t entirely mind. However, Gonta stops on the path, taking one glove off. He reaches out and runs his fingers through Shuichi’s bangs, and as he smooths down the rest of Shuichi’s hair, Shuichi can feel his heart practically banging against his ribcage. Which is stupid. This is really stupid. It’s just Gonta, and it’s not as though he hasn’t done this before. Shuichi just needs to stop being so antsy.

Gonta cups Shuichi’s cheek, giving him a quick smile before letting his hand drop away. A friendly gesture, nothing unusual. Right, he’s got to stop overthinking things. “Thank you,” he says after a moment, and Gonta nods towards that gazebo. As they start walking again, Shuichi leans over to bump his shoulder into Gonta’s. “Well,  _ somebody  _ looks antsy. Why do I get the feeling you’re more excited about laser tag than a nature walk?”

Chuckling, Gonta shrugs. “Gonta like nature very much, but there not usually bugs in winter,” he explains, and Shuichi has to admit, that’s a fair point. Then, Gonta’s eyes get all wide and sparkly, and Shuichi smiles, knowing there’s a bug rant coming up. “Ah, except Asian lady beetles! They not native to this area, but they have very pretty colors! Gonta studied them for little bit, but the ones at university lab died before Gonta could observe properly…”

Worrying over a little touch isn’t going to do Shuichi any good, so he places his hand gently on Gonta’s arm. “I’m sorry...but hey! Maybe they’ll bring some new ones in,” Shuichi says, and Gonta beams at him. They enter the gazebo, but Gonta still looks a bit fidgety. Tilting his head, Shuichi pokes Gonta’s bicep. Okay, he’s never doing that again, that was super weird. “Since you’re really eager to get to laser tag and not at all interested in the nature walk...why don’t you tell me more about the bugs they have in the lab?”

Even if Shuichi’s still a little squeamish about the whole bug thing...it’s hard not to offer when Gonta smiles at him like that.

*****

The arcade is very loud, and it kind of smells like stale popcorn, but Gonta’s got that sunshiney grin again, so the warm feeling blossoming inside Shuichi’s chest is enough to make up for it. The two of them make their way over to the laser tag arena, walking side by side. Well, for Gonta, it’s more like bounding excitedly.

As the bored teenage attendants hand them light-up vests with those goofy laser guns attached, Gonta mimics shooting the different practice targets, ‘pew pew’ sounds and all. Shuichi chuckles, shaking his head fondly. He wonders how even pretending to be a space cowboy can make Gonta seem charming.

His smile dampens a bit. Right. Rational thinking. Shuichi hasn’t been doing much of that since this morning.

As they wait for their ‘party’ to be called, Shuichi takes a moment to think things through. It would obviously be awful if he acknowledges these feelings—which he’s not going to, because they don’t exist—because it would be unfair to Gonta. And he’s already put Gonta through so much. Bringing feelings into the mix would just make things worse. So Shuichi’s not even going to bother acknowledging anything that could possibly mess things up between them.

They’ve just started becoming close, he doesn’t want to ruin that. He knows Gonta cherishes his friends, and if Shuichi were to start lying about how he feels—which he’s not going to, because,  _ again, _ the feelings don’t exist—then not only is he going to get rejected, but it would completely destroy their friendship.

“Shuichi ready to go?” Gonta asks, interrupting Shuichi’s inner ramblings, and Shuichi nods, standing as Gonta does. They’re let into the room and are just about to head off to their respective bases, Gonta grabs Shuichi’s wrist and tugs him unexpectedly close. Their chests bump, and Shuichi’s breath hitches. Gonta leans closer and smiles, cocking an eyebrow. “Good luck.”

Okay, now  _ that’s  _ just unfair.

Red in the face, Shuichi moves over to the little glowing pillar that’s been labelled as his base, and he leans against it, taking a deep breath in an attempt to clear his head. Right, laser tag—keep it fun, keep it friendly, and keep it totally platonic. So Shuichi squares his shoulders and readies his laser gun, keeping his back to the wall.

There’s party music and smoke machines, but Shuichi’s pretty sure his detective instincts are going to be on par for this match. At that thought, he almost snorts; it’s not as if he actually possesses any detective instincts. And, sure enough, his vest makes one of those typical video game failing noises, and the lights on it blink, and Shuichi looks around wildly for the source, though there’s none to be found.

Gonta is nowhere to be seen, so Shuichi ducks under one of the goofy, space-themed covers, trying to perk his ears for any semblance of footsteps, breathing, anything. He’s beginning to suspect why Gonta had been so excited about laser tag. Once Shuichi’s pretty sure he’s all clear, he moves out, going for higher ground.

Halfway up the ramp to the second floor, his vest sounds again, and he curses under his breath as he dashes for a new cover. How the hell can Shuichi not spot a six foot six tall man with hair down to his back?! Wait. His hair would cover the back of his vest, but not the front. So he must be turning around and  _ then _ ducking behind something. Shuichi keeps his eye on the game space from the little window of his cover, standing so that his back is against the wall.

Then, a hand thumps directly by his head, and he freezes, the pressure of a clunky arcade laser gun pressing against his chest. The lights reflect off of Gonta’s glasses just so that it hides his eyes, but as he tilts his head down, Shuichi can see the playful look in them. “Uh...hi, there,” is all he can manage to say, hoping the redness in his cheeks doesn’t show in the dim light.

Gonta grins like a cat that’s just caught a mouse. “Hi,” he says, and Shuichi’s never heard him sound so smug. If he’s being completely honest with himself, he’s pretty sure he’s never heard Gonta sound smug at all. Shuichi gulps as Gonta moves closer, next to his ear. “If Shuichi stick closer to fog machines, it be harder for Gonta to see you. It be...more of a challenge.”

A competitive side? Oh, now it’s  _ on. _

Gonta pulls back, and Shuichi grins. “Can I get a ten-second head start?” he asks, and Gonta tilts his head. Shuichi pouts, pushing the barrel of his laser gun against Gonta’s lit-up panel. If he recalls correctly, once he shoots, both Gonta’s vest and his laser gun will be disabled for fifteen seconds exactly. And Shuichi’s not one to lose a game of cheesy laser tag. “Please..?”

Thankfully, Gonta concedes, and he steps back, beaming like the damn sun. Shuichi steps backwards slowly, fingers twitching on the trigger. Gonta tilts his head again, brows furrowed in confusion, and just as Shuichi’s  _ sure  _ they’re down to one second left, he lifts his laser gun and aims a shot right for that lit-up panel. And as that telltale sound goes off, Shuichi takes off running, as fast as he can.

When there are footsteps and laughter right behind him, Shuichi feels that little flutter in his stomach again.

*****

Gonta lights up when the scoreboard announces that he’s won, and Shuichi doesn’t even care that he lost by  _ so many points. _ Well, maybe he cares a little. But for the most part, it’s made fine by the child-like wonder on Gonta’s face. And, hell, it’s the guy’s birthday. It feels good to watch Gonta earn a win. Especially when he’s so excited about it.

“Shuichi wanna go to arcade now?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi barely gets a yes out before Gonta is dragging him over to the dance machine. This, he’s hesitant about. He’ll probably end up failing within the first thirty seconds, and Gonta is already on the machine. “Gonta know you not like dancing, but this game really fun! Promise!”

And who is he to say no to that? So Shuichi sucks up his embarrassment and hops on that dance pad. And, of course, he’s awful at it. But Gonta’s just as bad. They’re both clumsy and stumble constantly, though they’re laughing and grinning by the end of it. And it’s incredibly hard to focus on anything but Gonta’s smile as they make their way towards the air hockey table, but the reality of the situation looms at the back of Shuichi’s mind.

Just enjoy this as a fun, platonic outing for a friend on his birthday. That’s all he has to do. His goal will be to earn enough tickets to get Gonta that big stuffed spider and have a nice, relaxing,  _ platonic _ end to their day. Feelings will simply just...not be included. A few more deep breaths gets him through air hockey, a dumb old racing game, a few of those light wheel roulettes, and the coin machine.

Once they have enough tickets to fill a medium size popcorn bucket, Shuichi nudges Gonta’s side with his elbow. “Have you decided which prize you want?” he asks, and Gonta hums uncertainly as they get closer to the prize counter. There’s still one spider plush left. Perfect! Shuichi turns back to Gonta and smiles nervously. “Um, actually, seeing as it’s your birthday...I just figured that—and I don’t have your budget, but, uh—I saw something that I’m pretty sure you’ll like and I kind of want to get it for you if that’s okay with you…?”

Gonta blinks in surprise, but he nods, and Shuichi gets that fluttery feeling again when Gonta beams at him. They march up to the counter and hand over their bucket of tickets for the cashier to put in the machine. Gonta leans over the counter just slightly in anticipation, and Shuichi stifles a laugh at how excited he looks.

“Alright, your ticket total is four hundred twenty-seven,” the cashier says, looking a little dead behind the eyes as he hands Shuichi a receipt. “What would you like as your prize?”

Shuichi points up at the last spider plush, and the cashier hands it over with that same uncaring expression, though it’s a little funny in contrast with the pure joy on Gonta’s face. Shuichi holds it out to Gonta with a grin, and Gonta takes it from him like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen. Shuichi turns to thank the cashier, but he’s already turned away to help the next customer.

They head towards the exit, and Shuichi holds the door open for the both of them. At Gonta’s questioning glance, he shrugs. “It’s your birthday,” he says simply, and his chest blooms with warmth at the smile the sentiment earns from Gonta. As they start to walk back to the hotel, the backs of their hands brush for just a moment, but it’s enough to tinge Shuichi’s cheeks with pink. He clears his throat and reaches up to fix his scarf. “Right, so...dinner. The name of the place looks pretty fancy.”

Gonta nods. “Yeah...it gonna be fun,” he says, though he sounds a little disheartened for some reason. Shuichi nudges him gently, brows furrowed in a silent question. Gonta just hums, glancing towards the skyline. Shuichi frowns; that’s not like him at all. But he doesn’t want to pry, so he’ll just wait. If Gonta wants to talk about it, he will. And, sure enough, he does. “It just that...Gonta not really like fancy dinners all that much.”

Of course he doesn’t, considering his parents. Shuichi doesn’t know how he hadn’t realized that before now. “Right, no, that...that makes perfect sense,” he says, gnawing at his bottom lip nervously. Gonta nods again, fiddling with the spider plush. Shuichi feels a little guilty, given that he can’t really do much about it. Then again...maybe he can. “Let’s ditch dinner. We’ll go get gross, greasy fast food and milkshakes that’ll give us stomachaches, and we won’t have to worry about dressing up and pretending that tiny portions are enough.”

After a moment of deliberation, Gonta shakes his head. “N-No, that be rude to friends who made such nice reservations for the weekend,” he says, and Shuichi raises an eyebrow. The dinner would be coming out of their own pockets anyway. Gonta pouts. “Gonta just not wanna be ungentlemanly, that all…”

Shuichi stops in the middle of the sidewalk, crossing his arms. Gonta tilts his head, a confused little smile on his face. “Gonta, you’re allowed to be selfish on your birthday,” Shuichi says, completely bewildered. Gonta looks the same, as if the concept is completely absurd. “I’m serious! Plus, you never do anything for  _ you, _ like, ever. You’re always doing things to please other people, you should be able to have some fun just for you.”

“Gonta not sure,” he says, and Shuichi bites his lip. It seems like Gonta wants to take his offer, he’s just hesitant because he feels bad. They walk ahead a little bit, and Gonta frowns in thought as they do, finally speaking up when they pass one of those weird outlet malls. “It would be very selfish, and Gonta not wanna be selfish…”

“Then let me be selfish  _ for _ you,” Shuichi says before he can stop himself. Thankfully, he  _ does  _ catch himself before he does something stupid like reach for Gonta’s hand. But then Gonta is staring at him with that wide-eyed, sparkly admiration, and Shuichi goes just as red as he would have if he  _ had _ done something stupid. “Really. I want you to have a good time on your birthday, so if that means skipping out on a fancy dinner, you should have that.”

At long last, Gonta finally agrees, and they duck into the little outlet mall, making a beeline for a fast-food place. Once they’re inside, Gonta fidgets with his scarf. “Gonta can go find table while Shuichi order,” he offers, but that would leave him without his own order, so Shuichi gives him a curious look. Gonta scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “Gonta never been here before, s-so Shuichi should decide!”

“If you’re sure, then,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods, giving him a little wave before heading back to the tables. He steps up and orders something pretty basic, and he almost snorts when he sees that the ‘seasonal offer’ is a birthday cake milkshake. He gets two of those, too. And, as he sets their tray of food down, Gonta squints, a confused little smile on his face. “Milkshakes, fries, and burgers. I think fries are the best part of a greasy meal, but I think you might like the burgers more.”

Gonta picks up one of the wrapped burgers and carefully peels the paper off, peering at it curiously. His tongue pokes out a bit just before he opens his mouth, and Shuichi’s gaze hyper-focuses on those sharp teeth of his. Thinking rationally, the teeth are just a cute, unique feature of Gonta’s. Thinking  _ irrationally, _ on the other hand…

No. No. Focus on the fries. Focus on the  _ fries, _ dammit.

Well, he can also focus on Gonta’s amazed face at the greasy, probably-half-artificial burger. It’s really charming. Then again, most of the things Gonta does are charming. Shuichi chuckles quietly as he bites into another fry, Gonta eagerly digging into the rest of the burger. Shuichi takes a chunk out of his own burger. It’s just as gross and delicious as fast food always is. And his stomach will probably give him hell later, but that’s a future-Shuichi problem.

Gonta’s just as awed at the milkshake, cradling the little cherry like it’s the most precious thing in the world. “What Gonta supposed to do with this?” he asks, head tilted, and Shuichi blinks, a little surprised he doesn’t know. When he goes to explain, Gonta chuckles, nose wrinkled up just a little bit as his shoulders shake. He bites the cherry off its stem and winks. “Gonta just joking.”

Shuichi can feel that fluttery feeling in his gut again, but he ignores it, laughing softly as he takes the first sip of his own milkshake. When he puts the cup back down again, Gonta’s eyes go wide, and he stifles a snort behind his fist. Shuichi’s brow furrows, a confused grin spreading on his face, and Gonta leans forward, reaching a hand out towards him.

He can feel his heart beating out of his chest, and his breath hitches as Gonta’s thumb brushes over his lips. Shuichi can feel himself leaning forward just slightly, but then Gonta pulls his hand away, holding his whipped cream-covered thumb up. Right. Yeah. Shuichi should...try not to think too much into it. His  _ totally hypothetical  _ feelings can also be a problem for future-Shuichi.

For now, all he’s going to worry about is making sure Gonta has a great time for the rest of his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year!! i just want to say again how much i really do appreciate all of your comments and kudos. this is a fic that means so much to me and that i've worked really hard on, and i'm so happy to be able to share it with you all :D


	28. Dig (The Hole) A Little Deeper

When Shuichi wakes up in Gonta’s arms on Sunday morning, his immediate thought is not rational. In fact, it’s more sappy and romantic than anything else.

“Mmh...good morning,” he murmurs, sliding his hand from Gonta’s chest to cup his face, and Shuichi smiles gently as he realizes Gonta’s definitely still asleep. It’s still early, and the soft morning light shines across Gonta’s freckles. Ah. Right. Thinking rationally. But...it’s too early for that, isn’t it? He can enjoy this moment for another minute or two, can’t he? Shuichi sighs, shaking his head and carefully pulling away from Gonta so as to not wake him up.

Instead, he grabs his clothes and heads into the bathroom to get changed. After yesterday’s ordeal, Shuichi’s completely prepared to bury his feelings deep, deep down, and never address them again, given that the plan is to end things as soon as they’re back on campus. And, yeah, that might not  _ totally _ work, it’s better than the alternatives. Those, of course, being that he either takes advantage of the situation like a horrible person or his feelings come out at the most inopportune time and absolutely destroy his friendship with Gonta.

He grips the edge of the sink and stares at his reflection in the mirror. The choice is simple, really, it is. He’s got to quit while he’s ahead; take care of these fleeting feelings while they’re still fleeting. Shuichi’s not stupid, after all—he knows that if they keep things up, he’ll get caught up in the charade and his feelings will only get worse. In any case, panicking and fretting over things won’t help him. It’s a simple solution, he’s got to stop worrying over it.

Inhale. Exhale. Get dressed. It’s just one step at a time. Shuichi will focus on the moment-to-moment instead of distressing himself over hypotheticals and worst cases. Besides, everything will turn out fine. An amicable breakup—a  _ fake _ breakup—will be easy. There’s nothing coming up, no parties or events or anything that their friends will be able to drag them into doing. Attempting to grin at himself in the mirror, Shuichi tries to put it out of his head.

They can spend the first half of the day together, platonically, of course, and then go back to their lives. This’ll all be done with, and he can keep his new closeness with Gonta with little to no issues. Shuichi leaves the bathroom, still attempting to smooth down his hair, and Gonta’s already up, shirtless and fixing himself a cup of coffee. Shirtless. When had he taken his shirt off? And  _ why?! _ That just isn’t fair.

“Morning,” Gonta says, and there’s that rough morning voice again, and Shuichi suppresses a shiver as he nods in greeting. Gonta turns back towards the coffee machine, and Shuichi bites his lip to keep from smiling. That’s one thing he’s noticed—Gonta isn’t much of a morning person. Which is a little funny, considering how bubbly he normally is. “Is view nice?”

Shuichi startles, cheeks going bright red. “I—wh—huh?” he says, very eloquently, and Gonta quirks a brow as he nods towards the window directly in front of him. Right. Yeah. Shuichi takes a look out the window to cover his ass. “No, yeah, it’s...the view’s great. I like the skyline. Never noticed the ferris wheel before, though…”

Gonta looks back out the window and hums thoughtfully. Shuichi sighs, relieved he’d managed to play that off. “Shuichi…?” he asks, and Shuichi’s never liked the sound of his own name like he does right now. Gonta takes the mug of coffee and steps a little closer. Shuichi’s breath hitches as he looks up at Gonta with wide eyes. “Where the coffee creamer?”

“Oh, h-here, it’s—I’ll grab it for you,” Shuichi says, mentally kicking himself for not realizing that Gonta was simply stepping out of the way. He grabs the powdered coffee creamer and offers it, and Jesus Christ, he’s in worse shape than he’d thought, considering their fingers brushing briefly is enough to make him almost jump. Gonta smiles gently and goes to finish preparing his coffee, and Shuichi fiddles with a loose thread on his sweater. “Uh...what did you want to do today? I’m down for pretty much anything, so…”

Gonta takes a long sip of his coffee, gazing at Shuichi with sleepy eyes. “Gonta dunno. Up to Shuichi,” he says, and Shuichi pouts. Great, so  _ both _ of them are indecisive. He really should’ve seen this coming. No plans left and no idea whether the things they’d done last time require reservations leaves them with the worst thing of all: decision. “We can head back early, if that what Shuichi want.”

“Is that what  _ you _ want?” Shuichi asks, wondering if the two of them spending the weekend together has really been that bad. Gonta just shrugs. Well, it  _ would _ probably make their breakup plot harder to thwart, given that their meddling classmates wouldn’t be expecting them back so soon. Then again, this  _ is _ probably Shuichi’s last opportunity for a while to spend proper time with Gonta. “Why don’t we go to that ferris wheel? I-If that’s...cool with you, of course.”

Curse his big, stupid mouth.

“It sound like fun,” Gonta says easily, and Shuichi gives him a nervous little smile before turning back towards their nightstand to grab his phone. A good few texts, mostly from Kaito asking about their training nights, and one from Kaede asking when they’ll be back. Shuichi frowns at that; doesn’t she already know? Gonta appears in his peripheral vision as he sits down on the bed. “Everything okay? Shuichi look upset.”

“No, no, everything’s...it’s fine. Kaede’s just asking when we’ll be back,” he says, gnawing at his bottom lip, and Gonta nods. Shuichi clicks his phone off and shakes his head. “It’s whatever. In any case, we should probably head out soon if we’re gonna go. Beat the foot traffic and all…” Oh, dear God, he sounds so awkward.

But Gonta, ever the saint, just nods and delves back into his coffee. Shuichi busies himself with telling Kaito they’ll get back to training once everything with the new semester settles down, and once he looks back up, Gonta’s set his mug down on the nightstand. Gonta runs a hand through the strands of hair framing his face, sighing softly. He gives Shuichi a tired smile and stretches, and Shuichi thankfully manages to tear his gaze away from Gonta’s straining biceps before it becomes noticeable.

This is gonna be a rough morning.

*****

Shuichi has no idea why Gonta had agreed to the ferris wheel.

Given that he’s currently clinging to Shuichi for dear life as the rickety metal creaks, his eyes wide with fear, it’s not hard to tell that Gonta isn’t exactly a fan of heights. And they’re just barely off the ground, so this definitely doesn’t bode well for when their little cart actually gets up high. Shuichi pats Gonta’s hand, and Gonta just squeezes his arm tighter.

This is getting a little painful to watch. Shuichi opens his mouth to say something, but Gonta shakes his head fervently. “Gonta okay! Is okay,” he says, a bit louder than usual. Shuichi winces at his volume, but he tries his best to nod reassuringly. “Just little bit—! Ah! It moving again!”

Their cart is shaking, but just a typical amount, nothing too scary. They move up a few more, and Gonta squeaks, ducking his head into the crook of Shuichi’s neck. Immediately, Shuichi feels his face heat up; he’s very likely bright red, and his breath hitches as Gonta lets out a shaky breath against his skin. Shuichi gulps, but he brings his hand up, hesitating as it hovers over the top of Gonta’s head.

As the cart moves up again, Gonta clings ever tighter, eyes squeezed shut, and Shuichi gives in, smoothing down Gonta’s hair. “Hey, hey, it’s alright, I promise. Nothing’s gonna happen,” he soothes, and Gonta makes an indignant huff of a noise. Shuichi would normally find that a tad funny, but when the air is chilled and there’s a warm puff of breath right on his neck, it’s quite hard to laugh. Shuichi knows his voice is going to shake, but he can’t find it in himself to care that much. “It’s not as high as it looks, Gonta. And besides, these carts are really safe, o-okay?”

“Okay,” Gonta says, though he sounds like he’s very much not so. Shuichi just keeps carding his fingers through Gonta’s hair, smiling down softly at him. He’s kind of cute like this, sort of like a puppy during a firework display. Shuichi is perfectly content to comfort him. Platonically, of course. It’s what he would do for any other friend. Gonta pulls away just a bit to peek at where they are now, which is slightly higher, and he squeaks again, ducking right back into Shuichi.

Trying to keep his mind off of the fact he can feel Gonta’s lashes just under his jaw, Shuichi ruffles Gonta’s hair. “How is it that you’re one of the toughest, strongest people I’ve ever met, and you’re scared of a ferris wheel?” he teases, and Gonta grumbles something under his breath, causing Shuichi to shift a little in his seat. The cart rocks again, and Gonta wraps his arms around Shuichi’s waist, pulling them even closer together. “A-Ah, hey...it’s okay!”

“Sorry! Sorry, Shuichi!” Gonta says as they move to the top of the ferris wheel, and he pulls back enough to be nose-to-nose with Shuichi. Shuichi’s eyes flicker from Gonta’s lips back up to his eyes, and he scolds himself for even thinking about that right now. Gonta glances over the cart, and the fear on his face makes Shuichi act purely on instinct.

“I-I’m scared of thunderstorms!” he blurts, rather loudly, hoping that that’s enough to distract Gonta, if only momentarily. And, thankfully, it does. Gonta tilts his head in silent question, just like he always does, and Shuichi smiles softly. “Thunderstorms...scare me. You already know that I don’t like horses, but thunderstorms are...well, that’s what I’m most afraid of.”

Gonta’s eyes scan over his face thoughtfully, and Shuichi’s relieved at the tentative smile that Gonta gives him. “Why Shuichi not like storms? Rain is nice! Grows food and helps make you clean,” he says, and Shuichi chuckles. This is good. He’ll keep Gonta talking, and then he won’t be able to focus on being afraid.

“It’s the noise, mostly. Not a big fan of the wind, either,” he explains, and while he feels a little silly for saying it, Gonta seems more at ease. Shuichi can see the reality of the situation start to set back in, though, so he keeps going. “Plus, I never really had the experience of anyone being there to help me with being scared. I spent a lot of time at my uncle’s place, and I didn’t wanna seem, like, helpless or anything. My older siblings just thought I was being a baby about it, so…”

At that, Gonta frowns. “That not very nice,” he says, and Shuichi just shrugs. Thunderstorms aren’t really the  _ most  _ terrifying, so it’s understandable. Gonta, though, seems upset. “It important to help someone when they scared! It the gentlemanly thing to do.”

Shuichi chuckles quietly, and Gonta’s cheeks go a little pink. “You’re a perfect gentleman, so I’ll just make sure to call you up the next time there’s a thunderstorm,” Shuichi jokes, but Gonta absolutely lights up, and there’s that fluttering feeling in Shuichi’s gut again. Of course, his brain refuses to let him be any kind of smooth about it. “A-And the rain makes me feel all slimy. It’s just...I don’t like it. Because then you’ve got to take a shower after you  _ just _ got wet, but you can’t go crawl into bed and hide under the covers because you’re all damp, and—”

“Is okay,” Gonta says, “Gonta understand. And if Shuichi ever feel scared, Gonta will protect him, like gentleman.”

For the love of God and all things holy, that’s the sweetest thing he’s ever heard. “That’s...you’re wonderful,” Shuichi says breathlessly, and Gonta beams at him. Then, the cart jolts, and they’re making their way back down. That doesn’t stop Gonta from going back to clinging to Shuichi like a koala bear, though. Shuichi rubs his shoulder. “I’ve got you.”

And he does. He’ll be there for Gonta, completely platonically, because that’s what Gonta needs right now. It just might be a little harder than it had been two days ago.

*****

The second they get back, Kaede pulls Shuichi aside and crosses her arms. For a brief moment, the worst of scenarios crosses his mind, but he decides to shove that anxiety down, just in case that’s not why she looks so skeptical. He tries his best to look as clueless as he can, giving her a disbelieving little smile with furrowed brows.

“C’mon, don’t act dumb with me,” she says, and the pit in Shuichi’s stomach feels heavier than ever. Kaede’s expression softens, and she puts a hand on his arm. “You know you can talk to me when something’s bothering you, Shu. I can tell something’s wrong, so don’t try and tell me that everything’s just fine! What’s got you down?”

The relief that courses through Shuichi’s veins is an incredible feeling. “Oh, uh, it’s…” he trails off, not sure what to say. This would be the perfect opportunity to give her their fabricated breakup story; Shuichi had volunteered himself for it anyway, given that he wants Gonta to feel no pressure about this whole thing. He’s stressed the poor guy out enough. So he’ll just give Kaede the explanation. “I don’t really—I can’t talk to anybody about it. It’s just...sort of personal, that’s all.” What the hell is he thinking?! Why is he making this about his slightly non-platonic feelings when he  _ should _ be freeing Gonta from this stupid, crazy situation?!

Kaede pouts, but she thankfully doesn’t question him. “Well, if you need advice, I would say...talk it out. With yourself,” she clarifies, and Shuichi tilts his head in question. “You know, record yourself talking and listen back. That way, you can respond to your own stream of consciousness. It’s what I do sometimes when I’m really stressed. Miu likes to poke fun at me for it, but it’s actually really helpful!”

Shuichi nods, and while he’s attempting to force himself to give the breakup story, Kaede waves and heads off. She probably has to study or practice piano—he shouldn’t have been taking up her time in the first place. The last thing he deserves is to have his emotions coddled. After all, he’d essentially just wasted the perfect opportunity to let all of this end.

And of  _ course _ he knows why, but he doesn’t want to admit it to himself. With a snort, he thinks that maybe he will once he tries out what Kaede had suggested. He’s got nothing to lose by trying it out, at least. Maybe his brain will come up with a way to pull him and Gonta out of this crazy plan. He just has to dig a little deeper into his thoughts.

Which is an absolutely terrifying concept, granted, but Shuichi thinks it might be good for him, in a way. So he heads up to his room and closes the door behind him, pulling out his phone and setting it down on his desk. He takes a seat, opening up the voice memo app and letting his finger hover over the record button. What if he says something he can’t mentally take back? His main concern is in regards to his own feelings, but Shuichi knows himself well enough that he’s perfectly aware he’s going to go on tangents if he isn’t focused on one thing.

So Shuichi taps record and decides to keep his rant focused on his feelings.

“Right. So, uh...hello, me…? This is weird. But Kaede said this might help, so I’m gonna give this a try. I guess I should talk about how I feel about Gonta. Um, well—obviously, I feel terrible for putting him in this position. It’s not as if he’d have told me to fuck off or anything, he’s too sweet for that, but...I’d expected at least a  _ little _ pushback at the beginning. Then again, that’s just Gonta. He’s so loyal and kind and now I know that he’d do anything for a friend, which scares me a little, but it’s so...endearing,” he says, smiling to himself. “And this whole experience has been crazy and hilariously unlucky, but...Gonta’s so wonderful. He’s so patient and sweet and smart...I don’t know what I would have done if it weren’t him. God, I’m so...he really  _ is _ a perfect gentleman. I hope he knows that. And his parents  _ suck _ and he deserves so much better than them. Or me, for that matter, but he’s stuck with me for so long, I...I guess I’ve gotten used to him. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling.”

He pauses to take a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. Closing his eyes, Shuichi sighs and shakes his head. “No, no, that’s...that’s not just it. I think he’s great.  _ So _ great. Gonta is the kindest person I’ve ever met. I don’t deserve him,” Shuichi says, voice a little shaky. “And I know that. I really do. But God, every time he smiles, it’s like looking at the sun. And he’s got those freckles...he’s one of the only people I know that has them, actually. He’s so cheerful and optimistic, even with everything he’s been through. Gonta’s just...he’s surprisingly closed off, for someone so open. But he gives so much of his heart so  _ easily, _ I…”

As he trails off, Shuichi leans back in his seat, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s so irresponsible of me to keep this up. It’s stupid, too. That, I am well aware of,” he chuckles mirthlessly. “But I can’t just...I know that I have to. It’s only fair. It’s what’s best for him—for both of us. Honestly, though, I really don’t want to. I don’t want this to end. I’ll miss his laugh and the way he tilts his head so he doesn’t have to ask a question out loud and the way he scrunches up his nose at things he doesn’t like and how soft his lips are…”

Cheeks flushed, Shuichi gnaws at his bottom lip. Then, abruptly, he realizes what he’s just said, and his eyes go wide. Before he can even think about it for too long, though, his door swings open, and he’s not-so-surprised to find Kaito there. He quickly turns off his recording and tucks his phone back in his pocket, smiling as he does.

“We’re all gonna study in the lounge! You wanna join us?” he asks, and Shuichi raises a single eyebrow. There likely won’t be any studying. Instead, there will definitely be all kinds of movies and popcorn all over the floor by the time they head to bed. Kaito rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yeah, okay, maybe not studying the  _ whole _ time. But your boo’s gonna be there!”

“My  _ what?” _ Shuichi sputters, holding back a laugh, and Kaito shrugs, simply shooting him a pair of finger guns that causes that laugh to come spilling out. “Please never refer to Gonta as my ‘boo’ ever again. For everyone’s sake, including your own dignity.”

Kaito rolls his eyes, but he grins nonetheless as he jabs a thumb over his shoulder. “Yeah, yeah, let’s get to it, man!” he cheers, and Shuichi dramatically drags himself out of his chair, following Kaito down to the lounge. They’re greeted by bright cheers, and Shuichi sits down next to Gonta, if not simply out of habit. “Alrighty, folks! Let’s get to studying!”

“Who the fuck are we kidding?” Miu huffs, arms crossed under her chest, probably purposefully, and she leans on Gonta’s shoulder. The corners of Shuichi’s lips quirk down for just a moment, but he quickly reminds himself that Gonta would probably be just as fine with Shuichi doing the same. It’s not as if physical affection is suddenly off limits because Shuichi’s feeling something not  _ completely _ platonic...right? “Oi, tree dick, you should make out with your twink if you want him to stop staring at you.”

Shuichi looks away, face rather red, but Gonta just chuckles, pressing a light kiss to the top of Shuichi’s head. It sends a wave of tingly sunshine down Shuichi’s entire body. “R-Right, what subject are we starting with?” Shuichi asks, though even studying can’t put a damper on the goofy grin that spreads across his face.

“We’re not actually studying, Shu,” Kaede says, leaning over to tap Shuichi’s nose with her finger. He just shrugs—worth a shot. She claps her hands and rubs them together, a devilish smile on her face. “Now...what shall we do to pass the time?”

“I vote strip poker,” Miu says flatly, and Kaito actually looks like he’s considering it for a moment before crossing his arms in an ‘x’ and imitating a wrong answer buzzer. Miu sits up properly to shove him, and Kaede sighs, shaking her head. Huffing, Miu throws her hands in the air. “For the record, I think you’re all fuckin’ killjoys! But fine, gimme your vanilla-ass ideas, ya damn virgins.”

Kaede raises her hand, and Miu mockingly calls on her. “I, for one, think we should just go with what we usually do, and stick with movies,” she suggests, and honestly, they all know that’s what they’re going to be settling on. So it just comes down to picking one out. Kaede perks up, hands clasped together and a dreamy look in her eyes. “Oh, there’s this period romance that I’ve been  _ dying _ to see!”

Shuichi might not be a cinema fanatic, but he’s pretty sure no one knows what a period romance is. He tilts his head, but he’s quickly startled out of the position when three of the four other people in the room burst out laughing. He glances at Gonta, who looks just as clueless, then back at Kaede, Kaito, and Miu, the first of whom is currently trying to stifle her giggles enough to—thankfully—give them an explanation.

“I-It’s just—! Pff—! No, no, no, we’re not laughing  _ at _ you,” Kaede clarifies quickly, seeing the slightly dejected look on Gonta’s face. Shuichi leans a little closer to him, just for reassurance’s sake. Kaede pinches Kaito and Miu’s ears, and they quickly stop their own laughter, though there’s still plenty of humor in their smiles when Kaede lets go. “It’s just that the two of you tilted your heads like puppies at the same time, so, okay, maybe we’re  _ kinda _ laughing at you, but it was more so the fact that it was like...the  _ exact same.” _

Shuichi laughs incredulously, wondering what the hell they’re talking about, but then Gonta tilts his head again in confusion, and Shuichi claps a hand over his mouth. “Oh my God, you’re right,” Shuichi says, muffled behind his hand, and he stifles a laugh as Gonta turns that same expression towards him. Shuichi covers his face with his hands, but he looks back up at Gonta after he gets the last of his laughs out. “Gonta, that little questioning head tilt that you do—I picked up on that.”

Gonta looks confused for another moment, but then his jaw drops, and he closes it quickly again to stifle his own laugh behind his hand. Shuichi wishes he wouldn’t do that; his smile is so nice, his laugh even more so. “Gonta not even realize,” he chuckles, his grin still hidden behind his hand, and Shuichi’s brow furrows.

As he takes hold of Gonta’s hand and moves it down, Gonta’s smile wavers. “You have such a great laugh,” Shuichi tells him softly, and Gonta’s lips part in surprise. He gives Gonta a gentle smile of his own, and Gonta’s breath hitches as Shuichi leans a little closer. Their lips meet briefly, and Shuichi feels that fluttery feeling again, but their kiss is cut off by Kaito’s obnoxiously loud wolf-whistle. Shuichi pulls back and gives Kaito as annoyed of a look as he can muster, even if his cheeks are still bright red.

He hadn’t even remembered that everyone else is still here. It had just felt like him and Gonta in their own little bubble, but judging by the way Gonta isn’t second-guessing anything, Shuichi figures he’s definitely alone in that feeling. Dammit. He really needs to stop letting his emotions get the best of him. It’s not good for either of them.

But it’s a lot harder to think rationally when the five of them finally pick out a movie, and Gonta puts an arm around Shuichi’s waist as the lights dim.

The touch is electric.


	29. Poor Grammar In The Language Of Love

“Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day, what do you guys have planned?” Kaede asks in a hushed whisper, and Shuichi blinks at her. He hadn’t really thought about it; classes have just started picking up, and his workload has only gotten worse over the past few weeks. Shuichi shrugs, trying to ignore the way his heartbeat picks up at the idea of spending Valentine’s Day with Gonta. Kaede props a hand on her chin, carefully keeping her gaze on the blackboard. “If you want, you guys could come with me and Miu to the aquarium. They’re doing a couple’s night!”

Shuichi bites his lip. Once again, he’s presented with the perfect opportunity to end their troubles then and there. But then he thinks about what it might be like, Gonta lit up by the soft neon lighting near the jellyfish, maybe, and a grin stretches across his face before he can stop himself. Kaede seems to take that as a yes, and she shoots him a quick thumbs up before returning to her notes.

He figures that’s what he should be focusing on, too, but now he’s thinking more about how he has to break it to Gonta that he’s inadvertently set the two of them up on a double date. Scratch that,  _ another _ double date. This is, what, the third one they’ve been a part of? Though, does the second count as a triple date?

Wait a second, this isn’t what Shuichi needs to be thinking about. The semantics of double dates don’t matter right now; what matters is what he’s going to say to Gonta. They haven’t really had the chance to stage a breakup--at least, that’s what Shuichi’s been telling himself. Sure, there have been quiet days, but between schoolwork and interacting with their classmates, Shuichi figures they should both use those quiet days as resting days.

Again, that’s what he tells himself.

He refuses to think about the fact that feeling Gonta’s fingertips against his own sends electric chills down his spine. He’s not going to dwell on how he feels when their fake kisses last longer than a chaste peck. Shuichi can’t even consider the warm glow in his chest when he gets one of those sweet, soft smiles from Gonta. It shouldn’t be about  _ him. _ Him and his stupid feelings, that’s why they’re still stuck in this mess.

It’s not as though he’s going to start being honest now, given how deeply messed up their whole situation is. It’s not as though he  _ can, _ either. If he’s honest now, so far from that first night at the bar, everyone will be so upset with him--for wasting their time, their money, their energy--and Shuichi’s not sure that that’s something he can take. Not to mention that if he comes clean about it now, Kokichi, of all people, will have the moral high ground over him. Then again, he won’t have anything to hold over Shuichi’s head, either.

But no, their best bet is to just...keep quiet about everything for now. So Shuichi just pretends not to think about it as he writes down all the parts of a cell. He’ll have to tell Gonta after class, of course--he knows Gonta doesn’t have any classes today, so it works out. At that thought, he smiles softly to himself.

If they were a normal couple, they’d probably be meeting up for a coffee date after Shuichi’s last class of the day, this one, and then maybe they’d head back to the dorms for a movie before dinner. Maybe they’d even help out with cooking prep. Maybe Shuichi would pretend to be terrible at chopping vegetables just so Gonta would help him out, and maybe Gonta would be actually bad at chopping vegetables, so Shuichi just ends up laughing softly and teaching him instead--

Gah. No. He’s not doing this right now.

As soon as they’re dismissed by the professor, Shuichi gets his head in the game. He’s going to apologize for not using the opportunity to end things, and then he’s going to break the news about the aquarium double date. Just two things; it’s not hard, he’ll just have to stop overthinking it. He nods along to Kaede’s rant about how she hates still having required classes to finish, not really paying all that much attention to it as they get closer to the dorms.

He holds the door open for the two of them and makes a beeline for Gonta’s room, unusually nervous as he knocks on the door. “Oh, hi, Shuichi,” Gonta says as the door opens, and Shuichi gives him a smile and a wave. He opens the door completely to let Shuichi in, and they settle down on the edge of the bed. “How was Shuichi’s class?”

“It was pretty good,” he says, and Gonta hums with a soft smile. His smiles are always so nice, whether it's his usual beaming grin or a tired half-smile. Right. Shuichi has to tell him about the aquarium date. He clears his throat and Gonta tilts his head, always at attention. “So, uh...I’ve got some bad news. We have another ‘double date.’B-Because Kaede mentioned this thing at the aquarium during class and I guess I panicked because I didn’t answer, and now she thinks we’re totally cool with a double date for Valentine’s Day.”

It comes out in a flurry, and Shuichi’s face is red by the end of it. He hates this. He doesn’t like leaving things out; it’s technically lying, and Shuichi doesn’t want to lie to Gonta. He’s already hiding the fact that he has feelings for him--it’s actually starting to interfere with Shuichi’s opportunities to free both of them from this crazy plan at long last.

But instead of being upset like any rational person would understandably be, Gonta just shrugs and gives Shuichi a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “That okay. Gonta understand, it very hard to say no sometimes,” he says, and Shuichi cannot thank his lucky stars enough for being stuck in this with Gonta. Gonta nudges his side with a slight smile. “So what we doing for double date this time?”

Shuichi puts his chin in his hand and sighs. “Apparently the aquarium has a thing going on, so Kaede and Miu wanted us to come with,” he says, and Gonta positively lights up, much to Shuichi’s surprise. He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head in amusement. “Are you a, uh, big fan of aquariums, or…?”

“Gonta like the petting tanks they have there! Sometimes shrimp will come to clean hands, and it feel just like holding bug, but underwater!” Gonta gushes, and Shuichi bites his lip to stifle a grin. Gonta’s like a ray of sun whenever he’s excited about something; his passion is so contagious, and he’s such a delight to be around. Shuichi doesn’t even realize he’s zoned out until Gonta pauses in his enthusiastic rambling to look at him quizzically. “Shuichi, you feel okay? You look little bit red.”

His face is likely getting even more red, but Shuichi waves dismissively. “No, no, I’m good, don’t worry.” he says, and Gonta smiles softly at him. God, Shuichi adores that smile. He clears his throat and taps the tips of his fingers together. “Right! So, uh, guess that’s that, huh? I’ll...see you tomorrow, then.”

Shuichi drums his fingers on his thighs briefly before standing, and Gonta sees him out of the room. Once Shuichi’s sure he’s alone in the dormitory lobby, he groans and slumps against the wall. Since when is he so awkward? Well, he’s always  _ somewhat _ awkward, but not usually with Gonta. They’ve gotten so comfortable with each other, so if Shuichi starts acting off now, then Gonta’s going to know something’s up.

This doesn’t bode well for tomorrow.

*****

Shuichi’s hands are clammy.

Ironic, considering they haven’t seen any clams yet. His turtleneck feels warmer than usual in the entrance hallway to the aquarium, and he’s really worried his hand feels sweaty to Gonta, who thankfully hasn’t said anything about it. Kaede and Miu are not-so-quietly arguing about whether or not they want to see the dolphin show, but all Shuichi can focus on is the feeling of Gonta’s hand in his. The warmth of Gonta’s hand is definitely not doing Shuichi any favors in terms of normal hand dampness right now.

But they’re next in line, and Shuichi can now focus his social anxiety on the fact he says ‘you too’ when the attendant wishes them a pleasant visit. He’s still cringing at it when they get to the first exhibit. “It wasn’t that bad,” Kaede says as they reach the first of many jellyfish tanks. The light bounces off of everything; Miu’s hair is an odd shade of purple, and Kaede’s shirt looks much darker than it had looked while they got their tickets checked.

“It  _ was,” _ Shuichi groans, and Kaede shakes her head fondly. Gonta gives his hand a reassuring squeeze—again, doing absolutely nothing for how sweaty Shuichi’s hands are—and smiles at him. Miu rolls her eyes and drags Kaede over to look at one of the tanks, leaving Shuichi and Gonta relatively alone. They stand together in front of some moon jellyfish, and Shuichi watches the blue light glance off of his face. “So...this should be fun.”

Gonta’s smile goes a bit playfully lopsided. “We should prolly follow them,” he says, nodding over towards where Kaede and Miu are. They  _ are _ a bit far, and the closer they are to them, the more of an excuse Shuichi will have to be affectionate. Not that he’s trying to take advantage, it’s just...so easy to enjoy spending time with Gonta. Shuichi nods, and they head towards the tank of box jellyfish. Gonta grins down at Miu. “So you guys wanna see the dolphin show?”

“They  _ are _ doing a Valentine’s Day special,” Kaede pleads, clutching both of Miu’s hands in her own with a pout. Miu groans, but Kaede remains undeterred. “C’mon, it’ll be fun! Plus, we can sit just far away enough from the splash zone so that it doesn’t ruin your makeup,  _ and _ I’ll even buy you whatever souvenir you want.”

“Even the weird otter plush that’s kind of shaped like a dildo?” Miu asks, one disbelieving eyebrow raised.

“I wish you’d stop referring to it as the ‘dildotter,’ but yes, even that,” Kaede relents, and Miu pumps her fist in the air, grabbing Kaede by the wrist and heading off down the hallway. Shuichi and Gonta follow after them, and Shuichi can’t help but wonder how they ended up here. Kaede glances over her shoulder at the two of them. “Oh, and if you boys want to grab some sodas or something from the food court, we can save a spot in line!”

They glance at each other; there’s no harm in it, surely. Shuichi glances up above the crowd for any kind of directional sign, relieved to find one pointing directly towards the food court. Still clutching to Gonta’s hand—he tells himself it’s just to make sure they don’t get separated—he leads the two of them over to the area of the aquarium that smells like marinara sauce and a spice he can’t name.

Shuichi forces himself to let go of Gonta’s hand as they stand in line, and Gonta immediately zones in on the little souvenir cups. “They have penguin cups,” he says with a quiet kind of wonder, and Shuichi bites back a grin as he nods. It’s a kitschy bright blue thing, but the penguins printed on it  _ are _ pretty cute. Gonta glances at Shuichi and hesitantly offers it up to him. “Shuichi want one?”

“O-Oh, no, you don’t have to buy me one,” he says quickly. Gonta frowns and tilts his head in a silent question. And while, yes, Shuichi is well aware that Gonta can afford a couple of stupid, cheap plastic cups, he’d rather not take advantage more than he already is. “Really, Gonta, don’t worry about it. I’m not all that thirsty anyways.”

Gonta frowns, but he lets the issue go, picking up another one, presumably for Kaede and Miu to share. They move up in line a good bit, and Shuichi takes a look around. There are cupids and hearts and pink streamers everywhere, and tons of couples, too; some even have kids with them. It’s strange to look at the couples and have them look back at him as though he’s also part of one. As much as Shuichi would like to be, this whole situation is so convoluted that he’s not sure they’re ever going to get to resolve this easily.

“Shuichi okay?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi jumps a bit before nodding and moving up to the cash register with Gonta. Of course, Gonta refuses to let him pay for any part of it, and Shuichi fills one of them up with cherry cola—Kaede’s favorite. When he tells this to Gonta, he’s surprised to find Gonta frowning. “But Miu hate cherry soda…?”

Well, damn. “Oh, shoot, I wasn’t thinking,” Shuichi admits, a bit red in the face. Gonta just shrugs and fills the other up with the generic kind of cola, sticking two straws in each. “I guess, um...we could split the cherry a-and give them the regular? Sorry, I just—I feel bad now…”

Gonta smiles softly at him and shakes his head, taking Shuichi’s hand to lead him through the crowd. “Is no problem,” he says brightly, just loud enough so that Shuichi can hear him over everyone else’s idle chatter. Shuichi grins, albeit a bit nervously, as they weave through the people and glance over the line to the dolphin show.

Sure enough, there’s Kaede and Miu, the latter resting her head against Kaede’s shoulder, standing towards the front of the line. And while Shuichi feels a little bad for cutting the line, no one seems to mind. He hands Kaede the souvenir cup of regular cola, and she gives them both a thankful smile, offering it up to Miu. She sips on it silently, which is odd for her, and Shuichi gives Kaede a questioning look.

She nods and makes that sort of ‘talk about it later’ face, and he nods. A not unwelcome surprise is Gonta’s arm around his shoulders, and Shuichi leans into his side just slightly. “Y’know, a ton of dolphins are naturally gay,” Miu says after a moment of silence, and the three of them turn to look at her with bewilderment. She shrugs her shoulders up defensively. “I’m just tryna make conversation here! This shit’s weird…”

At that, Shuichi’s brows furrow. But before he can ask anything, Kaede sighs. “I think what Miu  _ means _ to say is that...it’s just that you guys aren’t really the most  _ talkative _ couple,” she says, and Miu huffs, crossing her arms under her chest. Shuichi tilts his head in silent question, and presumably, Gonta does as well, if Miu’s wild gesturing between the two of them is anything to go by. “See? You guys are sorta...telepathic? If that makes sense. You also seem like you have a ton of inside jokes, because you two will look at each other whenever we say certain things and...it’s not a bad thing! It’s just weird to have a conversation sometimes when it feels like you guys are already having another one silently.”

Well, that’s...not entirely out of left field. “I-I’m really sorry, I didn’t know you guys...felt that way,” Shuichi says, resisting the urge to look at Gonta. Kaede just waves dismissively, and Miu sticks her tongue out—hopefully a sign that she no longer cares. Gonta’s still silent beside him, but when Shuichi glances up, he doesn’t seem to be too bothered. Good. That’s good. Shuichi decides to try his own hand at conversation that hopefully won’t involve gay dolphins. “How have you guys been?”

“Hella decent, actually,” Miu says, though a grin quickly spreads across her face; probably not a good sign. Kaede’s already bracing herself, as it seems. “We already did all our Valentine’s Day celebrating, if ya catch my drift—”

Kaede nudges Miu’s side and rolls her eyes with a fond smile ever-present on her face. “And you won’t get any more celebrating in unless you can stop talking about it for five seconds,” she jokes right back, and Miu pouts. Kaede just turns to Shuichi and shakes her head. “Sex jokes aside, we’ve been pretty good! We actually might go on our own romantic vacation come spring break.”

Shuichi hums and nods. “Sounds like fun, anything in particular in mind, or…?” he asks, though Kaede doesn’t get the chance to answer, considering the doors to the auditorium open, and the attendants begin ushering people inside. Since they’re towards the front of the line, they actually get to pick out some decent seats right above the splash zone, just like Kaede had promised earlier. Shuichi nudges Gonta’s arm once they get settled in. “You okay?”

He’d made sure to keep his voice quiet enough that Kaede and Miu wouldn’t hear him, and Gonta seems to appreciate that. He gives Shuichi’s hand a squeeze. “Yeah, Gonta okay,” he says, and Shuichi nods. He seems just fine. Maybe Shuichi’s overthinking things. He’s about to ask something else, but Gonta puts a finger to his lips and leans closer to whisper. “Show starting now.”

The low rumble of his voice is enough to nearly distract Shuichi completely from the dolphins leaping and chirping from the tank below the stands. Thankfully, he regains enough composure to clap on par with everyone else. And the dolphin show is honestly really cool. They’ve lit the pool up pink, and there are little projected hearts in the mist that sprays over as the dolphins do all sorts of tricks.

He finds himself watching Gonta’s reaction more often than the dolphins, though. That wide-eyed wonder and sunshine smile send a tingly kind of warmth spreading through Shuichi’s chest, and he rests his head on Gonta’s shoulder, chuckling softly when he has to move up just a bit as Gonta moves to the edge of his seat. When Shuichi glances over at Miu and Kaede, he’s kind of surprised to find Kaede watching the show with the same apt attention as Gonta.

Miu looks over at him and waggles her eyebrows before leaning up to press a kiss to the side of Kaede’s face and settling back on her shoulder. Shuichi rolls his eyes, but he does link his fingers with Gonta’s anyway. If only to not be outdone. At least his hands are far less clammy now, which makes him fret a lot less about the fact that Gonta’s thumb is absentmindedly caressing the back of his hand.

The rest of the dolphin show is really nice, even if Shuichi is only half-watching it. There are jumps and flips and all sorts of crazy stunts with the trainers and their dolphins. He’s definitely glad that they hadn’t sat in the splash zone now that he’s watching the people below them get absolutely soaked as the dolphins smash their tails down at the edge of the pool.

By the time the house lights come on again, Miu’s already pleading with Kaede to go see the otters. Thus, they walk over towards where the otters are tossing around a little red ball, chirping and squeaking. Miu looks like a little kid in a candy store--which also happens to be the same facial expression she gets whenever Kirumi lets her mix the drinks for dinner--and Kaede chuckles quietly, trailing her hand over Miu’s back.

Shuichi glances up at Gonta. “Did you want to do one of those touch pools next? I know you mentioned them yesterday, and I’m pretty sure they have the shrimp one open,” he says, and Gonta lights up. He looks over at Kaede, who seems to be on the same page. “Hey, Miu? It’s getting a little crowded around here, d’you mind if we head over to something else?”

She gives an overdramatic sigh, but she does let him lead the way over to the map. Looks like the touch pools are all by the back, so the four of them weave their way through everyone else and line up for the ghost shrimp pool. Gonta’s practically bouncing in place, and Shuichi chuckles quietly at his enthusiasm.

Miu nudges Gonta’s ribs. “Oi, tree dick, what’s got you more excited than me when there’s a vibrator sale?” she asks, and Kaede groans. Shuichi stifles a laugh. Gonta just tilts his head a bit, and Miu raises an eyebrow. “You’re a goddamned jumping bean.”

A bit red in the face, Gonta rubs the back of his neck. “Ah, it just ’cuz the shrimp can feel like bugs sometimes. Since it still winter, most bugs in hibernation right now,” he explains, and Miu nods. Shuichi’s almost surprised at her lack of a dirty remark. Kaede shudders, though, and Gonta frowns. “Kaede not like bugs?”

“Oh, no, I think butterflies and all that stuff is cool, I just don’t like spiders,” she says, and Gonta nods, though he still looks a bit upset. Kaede looks to Shuichi, and he mouths the word ‘fear’ at her. Better that Gonta thinks she’s simply scared of rather than grossed out about his greatest passion. “I-It’s just that I’m scared of them, y’know?”

Gonta nods in understanding. “Gonta get that,” he says easily, and Shuichi discreetly shoots Kaede a thumbs-up. They move up the line enough to reach the touch pool, and Shuichi hesitantly sticks two fingers out, just like the guide instructs them to, and lowers them gently into the water. He can’t help but scrunch his face up as one of the shrimp walks its spindly little legs over his hand. Gonta leans closer to him. “Shuichi okay?”

“Y-Yeah, no, it’s all good, the legs just feel weird,” he says, and Gonta shifts his fingers just a bit closer. Thankfully, the shrimp switches over to his hand, and Shuichi lets out a relieved sigh. No more weird scritchy feet for him, thank you very much. “Thanks, babe.”

“No problem,” Gonta says without missing a beat, still focused on the shrimp, but despite the fact Gonta had barely reacted, Shuichi still feels incredibly embarrassed for having brought back that damned pet name. Kaede raises an eyebrow at him, but Shuichi just shrugs, cheeks still pink. Gonta straightens up after another minute, and they make their way over to the hand sanitizing station. “Where everyone wanna go next?”

Miu makes a face. “I need a fuckin’ drink.”

Honestly, Shuichi might need one too.


	30. Battle Scars

“Please?” Tsumugi asks, holding the cursed armor up to her chin and pouting. Shuichi doesn’t want to say  _ no, _ but he’d also much rather spend the afternoon doing anything else. Gonta seems to be on the same page, eyeing the barbarian cape draped over her other arm with nothing but disdain, which is an unfamiliar expression on him. “I really, really need some models for my portfolio, costume design is such a pain this semester…”

Shuichi looks to Gonta for the final verdict. He’s down to help out, but if Gonta’s uncomfortable with it, Shuichi will turn it down for the two of them. Unfortunately for both of them, Gonta’s boundless kindness wins out, and they find themselves in costume and in Tsumugi’s studio space before they know it.

Gonta keeps fiddling with his cape, trying to pull it around him so that it covers as much skin as the tattered cloth possibly can. Shuichi winces sympathetically, and Tsumugi huffs. “Could we maybe do a different pose? This one is a little stiff,” Shuichi suggests, and Tsumugi ponders behind her camera for a moment before nodding. Gonta’s shoulders slump in relief, but he still looks wary. Shuichi clears his throat. “Did you need any close-ups? You could probably show the crown off really well with one, right?”

Tsumugi gives that idea a thoughtful little him and turns to her laptop, presumably to find a good reference image. Gonta leans down closer to Shuichi, cheek pressed against the top of his head. “Thank you,” he says softly, and Shuichi nods just gently enough that it won’t deter Gonta from maintaining the contact. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take Tsumugi long to find a decent pose for them, and Shuichi mourns the loss of warmth behind him as Gonta straightens up to properly pay attention to what Tsumugi is telling them.

“Right, so Gonta, if you could hold Shuichi just like this,” she says, pointing out how the hand on the prince’s face is positioned in the image. Gonta nods, looking oddly determined. Shuichi’s heartbeat upticks when he realizes that the prince and the barbarian king’s faces are  _ very _ close together, but he still nods when Tsumugi looks at him. When the two of them get into position, Tsumugi clicks her tongue. “Y’know, it might be better if you’re sitting down. Let me get you two a chaise, I think I’ve got a red velvet one around here somewhere…”

She hurries off to find it, and Shuichi immediately turns to Gonta. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? I’m not above pretending to get sick,” he offers, but Gonta just shakes his head and gives Shuichi a soft smile. Well, that’s disheartening. As much as Gonta advocates for himself now—still not nearly enough, in Shuichi’s opinion—it seems like being in this vulnerable sort of situation makes it harder for him. “I’m serious, Gonta. Say the word and we go.”

Gonta doesn’t get a chance to respond, though, given that Tsumugi is dragging that red chaise she’d mentioned over to them. She directs them to sit down, and they do, trying their best to remember what their pose is supposed to look like. Tsumugi does have to move around Gonta’s arm a bit, but soon enough, Gonta’s hand rests delicately on Shuichi’s cheek, head tilted to dip towards the base of Shuichi’s jaw.

It’s a bit flustering, but it’s easy to keep his cool with the distraction of Tsumugi’s camera shutter going off every few seconds. “Shuichi, can you try closing your eyes?” she asks, and Shuichi obliges, letting his lashes flutter shut. Gonta shifts—probably Tsumugi repositioning things—and there are a few more clicks of the camera before Tsumugi speaks up again. “Okay, so, there’s one other big scene that I wanted to get shots of today! I’ll have to shift the lighting around a little, and I probably have to go grab some more synthetic flowers...I’ll be right back!”

She hurries out, and Shuichi sighs, leaning back against the chaise. And while he’s not exactly thrilled about losing that soft touch from Gonta, he doesn’t want to get carried away. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Shuichi asks instead of dwelling on it, because Gonta is still attempting to cover himself as best as he can with the cape. “You know, you can tell me if you aren’t, o-or even if me asking is just making it worse, or I’m bugging you, or…”

Gonta hums noncommittally as Shuichi lets his sentence trail off, and Shuichi frowns. He probably shouldn’t keep pushing, especially if he actually is just making it worse. After a few more moments of silence, though, Gonta speaks up again. “Gonta dunno. It not that bad,” he says, but Shuichi’s unconvinced. Gonta gives him a little smile, but it’s not reaching his eyes, which is a little worrying. “Really. It okay. Maybe...just this last pose, though?”

Shuichi nods, reaching forward to give Gonta’s hand a quick squeeze. “I’m more than okay with that,” he says, and Gonta beams at him. He glances over at the door, then back at Gonta; it doesn’t seem like Tsumugi’ll be back any second, but he’s still worried that she’ll be back just in time to hear them talking--maybe something will slip and she’ll find out, and then-- “Hey, did you want to hang out after this?”

There goes his big mouth. “Sure! Gonta always love spending time with Shuichi,” Gonta says easily, and Shuichi smiles, glancing down at his gloved hands. And, hey, maybe hanging out with Gonta one-on-one could even help him get over his feelings in favor of keeping their friendship the same. Beside him, Gonta shifts. “Um...What did Shuichi have in mind?”

Humming, Shuichi shrugs. “I dunno, like, a movie or something? Nothing crazy. I found another nature documentary the other day, if that’s something you’d, ah, be interested in,” he suggests, and Gonta nods, eyebrows raised a little in surprise.

“Oh,” he says, and if Shuichi didn’t know any better, he’d say Gonta sounds disappointed. “That sound nice.”

Hurrying to amend whatever mistake he’d made, Shuichi looks up and waves his hands in front of him. “O-Or something else! We could get some food or something, too, i-if you want!” he offers, and Gonta starts to say something, but he doesn’t get to, considering Tsumugi is bursting through the door at the moment, dragging a prop bed behind her. Shuichi stands, not sure whether he should go over there. “Uh...did you need any help with that?”

Tsumugi startles, as though she hadn’t remembered the two of them had been waiting for her to get back. “Oh, no, I’ve got it! No worries, it’s got wheels,” she assures them, and though Shuichi nods, Gonta heads forward to help anyway. They get it into the middle of the set, and Tsumugi stands back to observe it, smiling up at Gonta when she evidently decides it’s good. “Thank you, Gonta, you’re such a dear. Right! Now, there’s this really cute scene—it’s modeled after sleeping beauty—that I had in mind, but first, there’s this one reference pic that I’d like to get…?”

She holds up her phone for both of them to look. The image is pretty cute, but one thing about it makes Shuichi hesitate. The barbarian king has his cape around the prince to pull him closer, which essentially leaves him shirtless. Which is definitely not ideal. Shuichi looks up at Gonta, who seems a little more than nervous as he glances back. He knows Gonta’s not going to say anything—he’s far too nice.

“Actually, uh, maybe we just get the one you need the bed prop for?” Shuichi asks, looking back at Tsumugi. She gives him a questioning look, and he scrambles to make up an explanation that makes sense. “Just, y’know, this costume is really hot anyway, and I don’t know if that’s...w-we also have plans after this, so it’s…”

Nodding, Tsumugi turns off her phone and tucks it into her pocket. Gonta gives Shuichi a grateful smile, and Shuichi just shrugs. Tsumugi claps her hands together. “Right! So, the sleeping beauty pose should have you right here, Shuichi,” she says, pointing to the bed, and Shuichi settles down, awkwardly shifting in his clunky armor. She helps position his hands, crossed over his chestplate, and Shuichi shuts his eyes; he hears some shuffling. “And now, Gonta, you stand right here…! Perfect.”

Shuichi hears the shutter go off a few times, and then some more shuffling. Gonta’s hands are on him now, one cupping his face and the other resting over his own. Shuichi’s breath hitches, and he hopes his rapid heart rate isn’t obvious through the armor. More clicks. Then, Shuichi feels Gonta’s face closer to his, and his hand moves from Shuichi’s chest to his waist. He tries his hardest not to open his eyes, mostly because he can hear the camera snapping much closer, but it’s very hard when he feels Gonta’s breath ghosting over his lips.

And then the camera shutter pauses again, and Gonta moves away. “Tsumugi sure…?” he asks, and Shuichi opens his eyes just a bit. Gonta looks down at him, cheeks red, and Shuichi actually does open his eyes fully, sitting up on his elbows.

“When I mentioned sleeping beauty, did you not make the connection?” Tsumugi asks, and while it would sound sarcastic coming from anyone else, she actually sounds surprised. A hand cupping her chin, she furrows her brows. “Huh...I’m sorry, that must be more of a niche reference than I thought…”

Shuichi clears his throat, feeling his own face go hot. “I-It’s fine. It’s the last shot you need, right? Or at least one of the last ones,” he says, and Tsumugi nods, smiling brightly at the two of them. Shuichi lays back down and looks up at Gonta, who still looks hesitant. Shuichi just shrugs at him. “I’m all good, I promise. I don’t mind. I-In front of the camera.”

He’s more than just fine with it, but neither Tsumugi nor Gonta need to know that. Gonta gives him a firm nod and replaces his hands, leaning down. Shuichi lets his eyes flutter closed as their lips meet, sighing softly into the kiss as Gonta moves his mouth just slightly. Shuichi knows he’s supposed to keep still, but he wants nothing more than to tangle his hands in Gonta’s hair and push back against him. Gonta, on the other hand, is gentle as always.

“Perfect! Now we just need the closing shot. This’ll show off the detail on the back of your armor, Shuichi,” Tsumugi explains, showing them her phone again. Okay, so it looks like all Shuichi has to do is stretch up to kiss Gonta properly. Nothing too crazy. “Oh, and Gonta, if you could make sure you show off your sleeve cuff…? Like, put your hand in his hair. There you go!”

Sure enough, Gonta’s fingers card through Shuichi’s hair, cradling the back of his head gently, and Shuichi suppresses a shudder. Shuichi leans forward and initiates this time, trying hard not to feel ridiculously happy when Gonta reciprocates. Obviously he’s going to—it’s a kiss for the camera, after all. When Tsumugi directs him to move his hand to Gonta’s bicep, he does, and Gonta smiles a bit into their kiss.

For some reason, that makes Shuichi laugh, and soon enough, they’re both giggling against each other’s mouths. At the lack of the camera shutter going off, Shuichi laughs again, loudly, and Gonta pulls away, grinning at him. “Shuichi have to smile for the camera,” he teases, and Shuichi snorts, leaning against him. Gonta scrunches up his nose and presses his face against Shuichi’s cheek, squeezing him in a tight hug.

The camera shutter goes off again, and they both jump, wide-eyed. Tsumugi gives them a sheepish smile from behind the lens. “Sorry, you guys are just plain cute,” she says, and Shuichi feels himself go red as Gonta lets go of him. “I can send you guys the shots later once I’ve edited them, so you guys are free to get changed and go!”

They both thank her and move back towards the partition. Shuichi sheds the main armor and peels off the gloves. “So, I’m thinking we get some katsudon? Since it’s your favorite?” he says, and Gonta blinks in surprise, nodding after a moment. Shuichi notices that Gonta’s attempting to keep his cape around him while also trying to get his normal clothes back on. “Oh, um, let me go ahead and turn around, m-my bad.”

“O-Oh, is okay!” Gonta says, but Shuichi waves dismissively and turns around anyway. Even if he doesn’t still fully understand Gonta’s self-consciousness about his body, Shuichi wants to respect it as best as he can. After a few more minutes, Gonta clears his throat. “It okay if Shuichi wanna turn around now.”

So Shuichi does, grabbing his jeans and quickly changing into them. “So, uh, about that movie…?” he asks with a nervous laugh, and Gonta nods with a grin. Great. They’re on the same page. Just a friendly, completely platonic hangout. They head out of Tsumugi’s studio, wishing her good luck on her portfolio, and Shuichi places an order for some cutlet bowls on his phone as they head into the dorms. “Oh, did you want any sides or soda or anything?”

Gonta shakes his head, and they head up to Shuichi’s room. Gonta holds the door open, as always, and Shuichi tosses his jacket on his desk chair once the door closes behind them. “Where should Gonta put his coat?” Gonta asks, and Shuichi just shrugs. Gonta folds it carefully and sets it on the nightstand, only sitting on the bed when Shuichi does.

Shuichi turns on that nature documentary, leaning back on his hands. Gonta, on the other hand, leans forward, eyes practically sparkling with wonder. Shuichi smiles softly to himself at that, warmth settling in his chest. Gonta’s so effortlessly charming. Oh. Wait, no, he has to think platonically. This is him getting used to just being friends with Gonta.

“Shuichi, can Gonta ask something?” he says suddenly, and Shuichi feels a pit of dread start to build in his gut. Regardless, he sits up properly and nods. Gonta bites his lip, brows furrowed thoughtfully. Shuichi can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking, wonder whether or not this means Gonta’s noticed Shuichi’s newfound feelings. Gonta turns his gaze to the floor, swallowing audibly. “Is Gonta...do scars make Gonta look…bad?”

Shuichi’s heart drops into his chest. “No, no, of course they don’t,” Shuichi reassures him, and Gonta nods, though he looks unconvinced. Shuichi leans forward to put a hand over Gonta’s, eyes scanning over his face. “I mean it, you know. I don’t think they make you look bad at all. If anything, they’re just a reminder of how strong you are. T-To get through all of that on your own is just...you’re the kindest, toughest person I know.”

Nodding again, Gonta gives him a tentative smile. “I-It just that...everyone always ask about scars,” he says, voice a little rough, and Shuichi gnaws at his bottom lip nervously. He’s been tempted to ask, sure, but since Gonta had offered an explanation, Shuichi had felt it would be in poor taste to ask for details. “Gonta wanna talk about it, but he—it not  _ bad, _ but everybody always think it this big, bad thing, a-and Gonta not wanna hear how  _ sorry _ people are for him…”

He trails off, mumbling an apology under his breath. Gonta pulls his hand away to rub at his face with the heels of his palms, and Shuichi wants to know how to help. All he wants to do is help. “I-If it would make you feel better to talk about it, you can talk to me. O-Only if you want to, though,” Shuichi offers, and Gonta looks up, brows furrowed. “I-I promise I won’t interrupt, and if you want to stop talking about it and get back to the movie, that’s totally fine too.”

Gonta takes a deep breath, but he nods after another moment. “It okay if Gonta take his shirt off? It easier to explain that way,” he adds, and Shuichi nods, willing the blush away from his face. Gonta unbuttons his shirt and sets it on his lap, fiddling with it. Shuichi lets his eyes roam over what little of Gonta’s back he can see right now. There’s one large one in particular that catches his eye; it looks as though it stretches to the middle of Gonta’s shoulders from right under his ribs. Gonta seems to notice which one Shuichi’s looking at and he smiles. “That one not too bad. Gonta tried to swim in river, but he got caught on really sharp rock jumping in. It hurt lots at first, but definitely not the worst. I-It not that bad.”

Shuichi nods, and Gonta hugs himself, hands gripping at his sides. It’s clear he’s uncomfortable, and Shuichi doesn’t want to push him too much. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, Gonta, I promise,” he says, and Gonta sighs, knuckles going white. “If it helps at all, they look kinda cool. And the last thing I want to do is make you feel judged.”

“Shuichi...can—sorry—can Shuichi ask about…? Just so Gonta not have to—to start,” he says sheepishly, and Shuichi quickly agrees. Gonta takes a deep breath and turns around, showing off his back. Shuichi’s gaze scans across the expanse of scars there. He hasn’t seen them up this close since that first trip. He starts to reach his hand out, but he hesitates, his hand hovering in the space between them. Gonta clears his throat. “Shuichi can...can touch. If he wants.”

Shuichi bites his lip, but he does let his fingertips graze over one scar that is short, but looks deeper than the others. “What’s this one from?” he asks, trying to keep his voice as even as possible. He doesn’t want Gonta to think he’s unnecessarily pitying him.

“Gonta was fighting with a wolf—not from forest family, forest family is very sweet and never,  _ ever _ hurt Gonta. But Gonta was...maybe eight? A-And he got into fight over this berry bush—silly, very ungentlemanly—but, um...when Gonta was moving back, there was really big branch, and...well, it not go deep enough for lasting damage, but it left scar,” he explains, and Shuichi traces over the scar again. “Not bad! A-And it not wolf’s fault, Gonta made her mad in first place, so…”

He moves his hand towards a different scar, a claw mark that extends a long way and crosses over a few other scars. “And this one? Is this the one the wolf left?” he asks, and Gonta nods, rolling his shoulders a bit. Shuichi moves his hand over to a shallow jagged scar, more faded than the others. “What’s this one from? It looks pretty badass.”

“It does?” Gonta asks in a voice too small for him, and Shuichi nods as he glances back over his shoulder. Gonta turns back around, taking a moment to continue. “That one was first scar Gonta ever got, actually...he was trying to find place to sleep. A-And Gonta figured maybe tree was good idea, but Gonta fell, a-and he cut up his back on tree bark going down. That one prolly not the worst, but Gonta remember it the most.”

“You slept in trees?” Shuichi asks, simply curious. Gonta nods again, pulling a strand of his hair forward to fidget with the end of the curl. “How was that? It couldn’t have been doing any favors for your spine.” He doesn’t know why he’s trying to diffuse the tension with crappy jokes.

But Gonta laughs anyway, quietly, at least. “No, Gonta only slept in trees for first few weeks, then he figured out how to make shelters,” he says, and Shuichi hums. “Then Gonta met forest family about three years after getting lost, so Gonta not have to worry about where to sleep or being hungry after that.”

Shuichi’s brow furrows at that. “Three  _ years? _ Gonta, you were a little kid back then, weren’t you?” he asks, and Gonta turns to look at him as he nods, tilting his head quizzically. “I just...it’s so—I don’t want to say impressive, but—that’s so young. That must’ve been incredibly difficult to go through, especially alone.”

“O-Oh, it all okay, Gonta just fine now,” he says, turning around properly. Shuichi bites back a frown, but Gonta seems to notice anyway. He hurries to reassure Shuichi, a dismissive wave at the ready. “No, no, Gonta okay, really! It worked out okay, no need to worry over Gonta.”

Shuichi actually  _ does _ frown at that. “Yeah, I know it worked out okay, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be upset over what you missed out on or what you went through,” he says, and Gonta blinks, lips parted just slightly in surprise. “You’re allowed to feel upset o-or even grieve over what you went through, Gonta. I-It just sorta seems like you’re downplaying just how bad it was, which is totally okay, and I  _ know _ you love your forest family, but it’s also totally okay if you’re angry or sad about missing out on other stuff.”

A shaky sigh leaves Gonta, and he hunches his shoulders a bit. “Gonta know that, it just...how Gonta s’posed to be mad or sad if it Gonta’s fault he got lost in the first place?” he asks, voice a little shaky, and Shuichi reaches out to take hold of his hands.

“Gonta, it’s not your fault. You were a  _ kid, _ none of what happened is on you,” Shuichi tells him, and Gonta clearly doesn’t believe him. Shuichi reaches up with one hand and gently tilts Gonta’s face towards him. “I promise it’s not your fault. Someone should have been there to protect you, an adult, o-or your parents. You’re a wonderful,  _ wonderful _ person, and I wouldn’t change anything about who you are, but it’s absolutely okay to be upset that anyone let that happen to you, that someone was careless enough that you had to go through that.”

His eyes flickering back and forth between each of Shuichi’s, Gonta’s breath hitches. He leans forward just a bit, and Shuichi can feel his own heart start to pound. “Nobody ever told Gonta that before,” he says quietly, and Shuichi gives him a shaky smile. “That prolly why Gonta not like talking about this with anyone else...Shuichi, can Gonta—”

He’s cut off by Shuichi’s phone buzzing loudly beside them, and Shuichi curses under his breath, pulling his hands away to grab his phone and check the caller ID. He’s hoping to send them to voicemail, but it’s his mother, so he can’t really do that. “I-I’m really sorry, it’s my mom,” he says, and Gonta nods, glancing away and grabbing his shirt. Shuichi resists the urge to groan as he picks up the call. “Hey, Ma. What’s up?”

_ “Hey! Your dad and I were just wondering if you wanted to come along to the beach house for your spring break! I’m pretty sure it coincides with your siblings’ breaks,” _ she says, and Shuichi looks up at Gonta, who shrugs.  _ “Oh, and bring Gonta along too, will you? The girls will not stop asking to have another tea party with him.” _

Biting his lip to keep from laughing, Shuichi looks to Gonta again. He’s not really sure what to do here. On one hand, he’s got a prime opportunity to give the breakup news, but on the other hand, Gonta absolutely lights up when he hears the tea party bit. “Um, I-I don’t know if that’s…I don’t know,” he says, and Gonta gives him a pleading look, though what he says is rather surprising.

“It just for spring break, right? We can pretend break up after,” he pleads quietly, and Shuichi raises his eyebrows. Gonta goes a little bit red. “Gonta really like Shuichi’s family…”

Of course. It’s the least Shuichi can do, considering what he knows about Gonta’s own (human) family now. He clears his throat and his mother hums on the other end of the line. “We’ll come along for break,” he says, and he hears her clap.

_ “Oh, wonderful! Make sure you pack swimsuits, okay? I love you dear,” _ she says, and Shuichi shakes his head fondly.

“We will, Ma. Love you too,” he says, and she wishes him a good night before hanging up. He’s a bit startled to look up and find Gonta doing his little confusion head tilt. “What?”

“Shuichi’s mom say she love him?” he asks, and Shuichi stares at him for a brief moment before enveloping the poor guy in a hug.


	31. The Beach Episode, But There's Three Of Them

Shuichi squints up at the doorway, trying to shield the sun from his eyes. Gonta stands next to him in a muscle tank that makes Shuichi question a variety of things. He turns to Gonta and gives him a grim smile. “Well? You ready to get swamped by a bunch of Saiharas?” he asks, and Gonta beams at him. He knocks on the door, and is immediately tugged into a hug by his mother. “Oomph! Hey, Ma.”

“Ah, my darling detective boy and his lovely boyfriend,” she says, pulling back to inspect him at arm’s length and shooting Gonta a bright smile. He returns it with a wave, too, and Shuichi shakes his head fondly. His mother puts a hand on each of their faces and gives them a pat before ushering them into the beach house. “Come on, everyone’s dying to say hello to you two!”

They follow her down the hall and into the living room, where Pa and Sotan are chatting on the couch. Shuichi waves, and Pa stands to tug him into a hug. Sotan claps Gonta on the shoulder with a grin. “Heya, kiddos,” Pa says, ruffling Shuichi’s hair, and Shuichi makes a face as he shoves Pa’s hand away. “How’ve you two been? Your classes going well?”

“Yeah, they’re fine. Most of mine are core classes this semester though,” Shuichi says with a shrug, and Pa nods, clicking his tongue. “I’ve got biology with Kaede, though. Not as interesting as forensic criminology, but it’ll do.”

“You’ve always been a science kinda guy,” Pa says, and Shuichi waves his hand in an ‘eh’ sort of motion. Sotan snorts, and Ma rolls her eyes. He doesn’t know why they think he’s better than he actually is at academics; Sachi’s always been the smart one. Pa turns to Gonta. “What about you, son? How are your classes?”

Gonta’s eyes go wide, and Shuichi smiles at him. “O-Oh, um, they’re good,” Gonta says, a little quietly, and he shrinks a little under everyone’s attention. Shuichi’s not entirely sure why—they’re just curious. He puts a hand gently on Gonta’s arm, brows furrowed, and Gonta’s shoulders lose their tension. “Gonta has lot of science classes too, but they all for Gonta’s entomology major.”

“Damn, you must be really smart, then,” Sotan says, crossing his arms under his chest and nodding in approval. Shuichi beams and nods; Gonta  _ is _ really smart, even if he doesn’t think so himself. When Gonta tilts his head a little in confusion, Sotan scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. “When Aya was still getting her degree, she was talking about how hard the upper level science courses were. Can’t imagine it’s any easier for someone in a different field, even if chemistry’s definitely not anything similar to what you study.”

“Gonta’s studies are really impressive,” Shuichi adds, and Gonta goes bright pink. Pa hums and takes a sip of his water bottle. Shuichi looks up at Gonta, hoping he might actually talk about his accomplishments, but he’s met with Gonta shrugging and waving dismissively. “Seriously, you’re at the top of all of your classes! I think the only person in our dorms that gets better grades than you is Kirumi, but she’s inhuman when it comes to studying anyway.”

“Top of your class? That’s some serious brain power right there,” Ma says, reaching up to pat Gonta’s cheek fondly, and he just shrugs, as if it’s nothing much. Ma looks to Shuichi, shaking her head. “Too modest, this one is. In any case, the two of you must be hungry after such a long trip down here! Go on ahead to the kitchen, Sen’s got some snacks ready.”

“Ah, Gonta not wanna be a bother, h-he not very hungry anyway,” Gonta says, and Shuichi furrows his brows at that. He knows for a fact that neither of them have eaten at all today, and he gives Gonta a questioning look. “Really, it okay.”

“Nonsense,” Ma huffs, ushering both of them into the kitchen with a hand on each of their backs. The twins are already scarfing down some onigiri, and Sen gives them a two-finger salute as she stirs some pasta. “You’re both growing children, you need to eat up. Especially since you’ve got all those muscles, Gonta. They need energy!”

Shuichi rolls his eyes, but he snatches a rice ball from Sozui’s hand and pops it in his mouth anyways. Gonta still hesitates, and Sen plates some pasta, practically shoving the bowl into his hands. “She’s right, y’know. The only one allowed to eat like a bird in this house is Shu,” Sen tells him, and Gonta smiles nervously. “We only overfeed because we care.”

“Oi, Gonta, you oughta see this, it’s a video of a praying mantis eating a tiny omelet,” Souta says, and Gonta perks up, hurrying over with his food to sit and watch. Souta leans over, tilting his phone so that Gonta can see. “Okay, so, look, they make the omelet first but  _ then _ you get to see the praying mantis. It’s one of those pink ones, dude, it’s  _ totally _ sick.”

Shuichi bites back a smile; as annoying as his siblings can be, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of seeing Gonta get along with his family so well. He comes over to stand behind them and watch the video too, but he only ends up watching the way Gonta’s face lights up when he sees the praying mantis. “You’re so cute,” he says without thinking, and his face goes red. Souta pretends to gag, and Shuichi shoves him. Gonta smiles softly at him, and Shuichi shrugs, deciding to focus on the fact that Sen is getting some octopus out of the freezer. “Oh, hey, could we do beef instead?”

“I thought you liked takoyaki,” Sen says, brows furrowed, and Shuichi really just isn’t thinking today, is he? Then, she looks from him to Gonta, who’s still watching the praying mantis video, and she gives him a knowing smile. “You’re right, let’s go with beef for tonight. Oh, Ma, are we heading down to the beach this afternoon? If we are, I want to go grab some stuff from the boardwalk.”

Ma looks up from her own bowl of pasta, and she shrugs. “Sure, we can go. I’ll have to get the girls ready to go, though, when did you want to head out?” she asks, and Sen hums, setting the beef on the counter to defrost as she checks the time.

“If we want to beat tourist traffic, we should start walking in about an hour,” she mumbles, a hand cupping her chin, and Ma hums in agreement. Shuichi feels his phone buzz a few times in his pocket, but he ignores it. It’s probably just the group chat. Sen turns to Ma, running a hand through her hair. “Seiko and Saki will probably take just as long to get ready.”

Shuichi snorts at that, and he looks towards Gonta. “We should probably take the hour to get somewhat unpacked, then,” he says, and Gonta nods. They head out of the kitchen and down the hall; After a good few summers spent here, Shuichi knows his way around the place. The bedroom he usually stays in is at the very back; the wi-if isn’t very good, but it’s the quietest. As soon as they’re in the room, though, Shuichi’s ringer goes off. Weird, no one besides Ma ever actually calls him. It’s an unknown number, too. “Hello?”

_ “Well, well, well, looks like I was wrong after all.” _

Scoffing, Shuichi shakes his head. “What do you want, Kokichi?” he asks, and Gonta’s brows furrowed with worry. Shuichi waves a hand dismissively. It’s probably just something stupid, annoying, or both, knowing Kokichi.

_ “I just told you, dummy,” _ he huffs, and Shuichi pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He’s about to hang up when Kokichi gives him an exaggerated groan from the other end of the line.  _ “Fine, I guess I’ll tell you. As it turns out, those pictures are really convincing. Super romantic or whatever garbage like that, y’know?” _

At that, Shuichi’s more than a little confused. “Wait, what pictures?” he asks, glancing over at Gonta, who shrugs. Now Shuichi’s just plain worried. What kind of pictures would possibly make  _ Kokichi _ of all people let something go?

_ “Did you turn off your notifications?” _ Kokichi asks with that mockingly-innocent tone, and Shuichi hasn’t. He’s just set his phone to vibrate for texts, so maybe this  _ does _ have something to do with the group chat after all.  _ “Tsumugi sent us all some pictures from that weird photoshoot the two of you did. I’ve gotta hand it to you, you’re either a way better liar than I thought or you’re actually—blargh—in love.” _

“Cool, so can you stop bothering us now? We’re trying to have a nice week on the beach,  _ unbothered,” _ Shuichi says, excluding the fact that they’ll very likely be bothered by most, if not all of his family. Kokichi clicks his tongue, and evidently also clicks the button to hang up. At least he’s not going to be bugging them again anytime soon. Shuichi turns to Gonta with a tired smile. “Well, that’s the end of that issue. Thank God.”

Chuckling, Gonta gives him a thumbs-up and turns to his suitcase. To Shuichi’s surprise, he’s actually brought some casual clothes with him this time. Shuichi bites back a wide grin as he spots a ladybug-patterned hoodie. That’s just adorable. But he  _ should _ probably check the group chat, just in case.

Sure enough, there are the pictures from the shoot. They honestly look really good. Shuichi had had no idea that he could even look like that. Gonta actually looks ethereal—all golds and autumn tones, freckles even more pronounced than usual. Then there’s that one picture, the one of Gonta with his face pressed against Shuichi’s cheek, laughter and warmth forever captured on their faces.

He saves it and sets it as his phone wallpaper.

*****

As they walk down to the boardwalk, Shuichi puts his hand on Gonta’s arm. “Are you  _ sure _ you’re okay with going to the beach?” he asks for the third time in an hour, quietly enough that Seiko and Saki, who are both holding one of Gonta’s hands, can’t hear him. Gonta nods, smiling gently down at Shuichi. “Right. Sorry I keep asking, I-I just want to make sure you’re comfortable, y’know?”

“Thank you,” Gonta says, just as softly, and Shuichi shrugs. Even Gonta’s smile is enough to make his face flush now. He really  _ is _ a mess of feelings. As the lot of them reach the boardwalk, Seiko and Saki let go of Gonta’s hands to rush towards a cotton candy stand in order to start begging for some from Ma and Pa. Now that his hands are free, Gonta laces his fingers through Shuichi’s, and Shuichi feels his face get even more red.

Gonta nods at Sohan and Aya, who are doing the same. Right. Just for appearances. Shuichi really has to stop getting his hopes up. He clears his throat and nods over towards the line of stores down the walk. “We could start with shopping and head down later, if that’s something you might want,” he offers, and Gonta glances over at the rest of Shuichi’s family, who are already making their way to the beach, the cotton candy crisis averted. “Oh, if you wanted to stick in a group that’s fine, but we can always find them later if you’d rather do something else.”

At that, Gonta gnaws at his bottom lip, frowning thoughtfully. A small part of Shuichi rejoices as he realizes that since Gonta’s so distracted, he’s forgotten to let go of Shuichi’s hand. “Um, shopping sound nicer,” Gonta says, a bit shyly, and Shuichi gives him a big smile and a nod, hoping that’ll make him feel less sheepish about picking what he wants to do. “Is there ice cream place around here?”

“Oh, yeah, there’s one right down the way that has really good milkshakes. I know that’s not technically ice cream, but still,” Shuichi says, chuckling nervously. Gonta nods, and Shuichi supposes he’s to be leading the way now. He tries his hardest to not focus on the fact that their hands are still joined, but it’s really difficult, especially considering that Gonta’s still smiling at him. “I-It’s not too far, don’t worry.”

Gonta hums from beside him, and Shuichi tries to walk faster; he knows Gonta’s pace is usually much quicker because of how long his legs are, and he doesn’t want to slow them down. He keeps his eyes on his shoes as they head towards the ice cream parlor, hoping he’s not so awkward he gives himself away. He’ll never get himself in check at this rate, and he really needs to. The last thing Shuichi wants is for Gonta to find out and feel pressured or creeped out, and Shuichi  _ knows _ he’s too nice for the latter.

“Shuichi…? Did we maybe pass it?” Gonta asks, glancing over his shoulder. Sure enough, when Shuichi looks in the same direction, there’s the bright neon sign. Christ, he’s a mess. Gonta seems to notice something’s off, too, because he tilts his head a little. “Shuichi feeling okay? You kinda, um...spacey.”

“Y-Yeah, no, I’m fine. Just zoned out, y-you’re right,” he says, and Gonta nods, though he still looks kind of worried. Shuichi just does his best to smile as he leads them both into the ice cream parlor. Gonta pulls out his wallet, and he looks to Shuichi, as if to ask him if he wants something. Shuichi puts both hands up in front of him and shakes his head. “O-Oh, no, I’m alright without. I probably won’t finish something on my own, and it’s not like any of the kids need more sugar, so…”

Biting his lip, Gonta nods. He only ends up ordering a chocolate milkshake, but when he gets it, he sticks two straws in it. “Just in case Shuichi want some,” he says, and Shuichi goes more than a little red as he nods. There’s that effortless charm again; it’s ridiculously easy to fall further for Gonta. Not that he’s in  _ love _ with Gonta, that’s way too absurd and  _ far _ too soon, it would be completely insane. But it’s rational to be  _ falling, _ isn’t it? And even if it’s not, doesn’t Shuichi deserve to be a little irrational from time to time? “Shuichi…? You sure you okay?”

Shuichi snaps himself out of his thoughts and nods, gesturing toward the beach. Their hands aren’t joined anymore, but Shuichi swears he can still feel the ghost of the warmth of Gonta’s hand in his. Maybe that’s just his being touch-starved. Nonetheless, the beach is relatively empty, given it’s Monday, early afternoon, and the schools in this area don’t get out for break until next week. It’s quite easy to spot his family, and Shuichi waves at them.

The few that notice him wave back, but most of them are busy either messing around in the water or making structures that barely resemble castles in the sand. Shuichi hurries over to one of the foldable chairs that they’ve set out, but he pauses when he sees it’s the only one that’s open. Gonta should probably have it, then.

“Ah, h-here,” he says, and Gonta’s brow furrows. The milkshake in his hand is covered in condensation and has likely melted a good bit, so Gonta should really be the one to sit down, and Shuichi gestures to the seat again.

“Gonta and Shuichi can share, just like with milkshake,” Gonta suggests, absolutely clueless as to how that sounds, and Pa raises a brow at Shuichi. For the love of God and all things holy, Shuichi is going to spontaneously combust. At Pa’s expression, Gonta seems to realize his mistake, and he goes a bit pink in the face. “O-Oh, not—Gonta not mean—um! Shuichi, you can take chair. Gonta will just sit on towel!”

Shuichi doesn’t have the emotional energy to protest, and as soon as he sits, he buries his face in his hands, trying not to scream. “Tsk, let them be,” Ma huffs, swatting Pa’s knee, and Shuichi throws his head back against the back of the chair. Maybe if he tries hard enough, he can will the riptide to take him specifically into the depths of the unknown.

“Shuichi want some milkshake?” Gonta asks from the ground beside him, and Shuichi sips on it, desperately wishing it were something alcoholic.

*****

They’re the only two that don’t need a shower, seeing as they hadn’t gone in the ocean. Shuichi would have felt bad leaving Gonta alone on the beach, so he’d stayed with him the entire time under the umbrella. It makes much more sense as to why Gonta hadn’t been  _ that _ nervous about going to the beach. Once they’re settled in Shuichi’s room, though, Gonta whips his shirt off over his head, and Shuichi sputters, turning around as fast as he can manage.

“Oh, sorry! Gonta wanna change into something warmer,” he explains, and Shuichi just nods, still with his back to Gonta. There’s a bit of shuffling, and then Gonta hums, like he’s not sure about something. “C-Can Shuichi turn around? And...tell Gonta what you think?”

Shuichi does just that, and he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face at the sight of Gonta in a cozy cobalt sweater. “You look...so great,” Shuichi tells him breathlessly, and Gonta scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. Shuichi steps closer and adjusts the collar of the sweater just a little. “I mean it. You’re really handsome, Gonta.”

Gonta’s breath hitches and he glances away, a small smile on his face. Shuichi lets his fingertips rest above Gonta’s chest; he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He should back away, this is verging into non-platonic territory now. But then again, Gonta isn’t moving away either. No, Shuichi shouldn’t assume anything, Gonta’s very affectionate in general, so it makes sense for him to not shy away from physical contact. Shuichi’s also probably overthinking things.

It’s probably just his imagination, but as Gonta looks back at him, Shuichi swears he leans in just the tiniest bit. But then the door opens, and Sen is giving both of them a bored look. “I’m being told to bring everyone into the dining room for dinner,” she says flatly, and Shuichi nods, stepping back and clearing his throat.

As she leaves the room, Shuichi glances up at Gonta. “Guess we should go eat then,” he says, and Gonta quickly rushes to hold the door open for him. They head into the dining room and the rest of Shuichi’s family bursts out into a cacophony of greetings. Ma ushers Gonta into a seat first, piling food onto his plate. Gonta tries to protest, but Ma’s not hearing any of it. Shuichi pats his shoulder as he sits down next to him. “It’s no use arguing, lovebug.”

Oh. Oh no. Not again.

“Have we switched from babe to lovebug? Is this how we’re doing it now?” Sotan asks, and Seiko and Saki giggle. Shuichi buries his face in his hands, practically as red as the tomatoes in the salad Sen had prepared. And as soon as he manages to regain some semblance of dignity and pick his head up, Sotan dramatically presents the butter to Aya. “Care for some butter, my dearest, darlingest lovebug?”

“Why, thank you, lovebug,” Aya says, and Shuichi gives her a look of utter betrayal. He’d expected this from his siblings, but from his sister in-law? That’s low. She gives Shuichi a shrug and takes the butter from Sotan.

Gonta is also quite flustered, cheeks red as he picks at his food. Shuichi crosses his arms and sinks lower in his seat. “Why must you do this to me?” he grumbles, and Sachi leans over to ruffle his hair. Shuichi huffs and leans away; he feels like a little kid being teased. “My hair already sucks enough as it is, leave it be…”

Sachi rolls her eyes, handing a roll to Seiho, who puts down his toy spider in exchange for it. To Shuichi’s surprise, Gonta cards his fingers through Shuichi’s hair, and Shuichi suppresses a shudder. “There,” Gonta says softly, “all fixed.”

And there goes more teasing.

By the time dinner is done, Shuichi’s pretty sure he’s never going to speak again. Well, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but he still feels bad for bringing even more unwanted attention to his and Gonta’s fake relationship. Because that’s just what it is—fake. Shuichi keeps slipping up, mistaking his feelings for something he can actually act on. It’s just making things worse for the two of them, and as Shuichi closes the door to the bedroom behind him, he lets out a shaking sigh. This is all his fault.

He should apologize. Really, he should. Shuichi should apologize for everything, pay for Gonta’s train ticket home, leave Gonta alone at long last. Gonta doesn’t deserve this, he hasn’t deserved any of it. Shuichi can’t help but wonder if Gonta is just too nice to tell him that Shuichi’s making him absolutely miserable. He wouldn’t doubt it.

“Gonta,” Shuichi starts, though he doesn’t really know how to finish. Gonta hums and turns to him, an easy smile on his face. And while, yeah, that kind of quiets down the mob of thoughts, Shuichi still gnaws at his bottom lip anxiously. He’s not sure what to ask, much less how to ask it properly, but he still tries. “Are you...are you happy?”

“Yeah, Gonta happy,” he answers, and Shuichi spirals a little further.

“No, I-I know that you’re, like, happy, and we had fun today, a-and it was fun,” Shuichi says, and Gonta nods with that sunshine grin. “But what about a week from now?”

Gonta’s smile falls a little bit. “Huh?”

“What about a month from now?” Shuichi asks, voice a little shaky. “What happens when you get sick of this?”

Gonta’s hand brushes against his arm. “Shuichi—”

“Because I’m so glad and grateful you’re here, Gonta, but I’m just...I just feel like you’ve given up so much time and effort for this stupid plan that you didn’t ask to be part of in the first place,” he mumbles, shaking his head slightly.

As Shuichi shrinks into himself a little more, Gonta’s brows furrow. “This Gonta’s decision, Shuichi not force him to do it—”

“I-I kind of forced you to—”

“No, Shuichi, you not—”

Shuichi cuts him off with a shaky sigh. “I’m afraid you’re gonna resent me, and I’m afraid that this is all way too much, because it’s too much for  _ me _ and you didn’t even mean to be a part of this,” he rambles, trying to blink back tears. “Just, if you want out, I won’t be mad or upset, I promise—”

“Shuichi,” Gonta interrupts quietly, a hand on each of Shuichi’s arms. Shuichi stretches his mouth into a thin line, looking everywhere but Gonta. Instead of anything Shuichi could’ve begun to expect, Gonta brings him into a gentle hug, one hand rubbing at the small of his back and the other between his shoulderblades. Shuichi gingerly brings his arms up to wrap around Gonta’s shoulders. “Let’s go to bed, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay,” Shuichi whispers, letting his eyes flutter shut. “Let’s do that.”


	32. Ocean Man (Take Me By The Hand)

Shuichi stretches out a bit as he wakes, narrowly avoiding hitting Gonta in the face with his arm as he does. Gonta shifts and his eyes flutter open; he immediately grumbles and tugs Shuichi closer. Given that the bed is only full-sized, they’ve had to cuddle up for the past couple of nights, and it still gives Shuichi butterflies every time. Gonta buries his face in the crook of Shuichi’s neck and huffs.

Humming, Shuichi cranes his neck a little. Then, he realizes what his tired brain is doing, and he goes bright red. It’s too early for his non-platonic feelings. And it’s also way too early for them to be bombarded by children, even though he can hear them practically yelling out in the hall. He rolls over to face Gonta. “If you don’t want to deal with them this early, we can pretend to be sleeping,” he murmurs, and Gonta presses a finger against his lips.

“Gonta already sleeping,” he grumbles in that rough morning voice that Shuichi will never get tired of hearing. Shuichi nods and bites back a laugh. And as the door bursts open, Shuichi gestures to Gonta’s ‘sleeping’ form and shushes the girls. They giggle and pile around the two of them on the bed, peering at Gonta to make sure he’s really sleeping.

“Why’s he holding you so tight? Like a teddy bear,” Seiko whispers, though it’s not very quiet given that she hasn’t really mastered volume control yet. A bit red in the face, Shuichi shrugs, and Seiko sits back, her little arms crossed. “Well, we wanna have a tea party, and we can’t have one without him!”

Shuichi shushes her again, and something akin to a growl leaves Gonta’s throat. That is…definitely something new. “How about you guys bring your tea party in here, and we can surprise him when he wakes up?” he suggests, and Sachiko claps her tiny hands together, eyes wide. Saki hurries out of the room first, and the other two follow her, all giggles and not-so-quiet mumbles. Shuichi lets himself settle back into Gonta’s arms. “They’re gone for now, but they’ll be back soon with a bunch of plastic tea cups. You, uh, might wanna start waking up.”

Grumbling under his breath, Gonta nuzzles into Shuichi’s neck again. “Gonta up, Shuichi just...so warm,” he murmurs, and Shuichi can’t help but smile at that, running his hands through Gonta’s hair. He’s always glad that Gonta feels comfortable with physical affection; to be perfectly honest, Shuichi’s never been this touchy with anyone. A part of that might just be his feelings, but most of it is just because Gonta’s so easy to be affectionate with. Gonta slowly opens his eyes, not really focused on anything in particular. “Mmh...morning.”

“Good morning to you too,” Shuichi says, rather amused. Gonta huffs, but he sits up somewhat, arching his back as he stretches. His shirt rides up just a bit, and Shuichi quickly looks away, deciding to pick at a loose thread on the comforter. There’s a bit of commotion from outside the room, and Shuichi manages to drag himself out of bed and over to the door to investigate. “Uh, is everything okay out here?”

Seiko is sitting on the floor, pouting, and Saki and Sachiko both have tears in their eyes. Sotan stands over them with their tea party toys in his arms, shaking his head. “They’re just fine, I just told them they can’t play before they finish getting ready for the beach,” he says, and Shuichi’s brow furrows at that. It’s still ridiculously early. Sotan jerks his head towards the kitchen. “Oh, and breakfast is ready if you and your  _ lovebug _ want any. We want to get an early start since there’s a big music thing going on at the beach later today.”

Well, that explains it. Shuichi nods, face a little red, and turns back into the bedroom with a yawn. Gonta tilts his head in silent question, and Shuichi shrugs. “No tea party apparently, but they’ve got breakfast all ready if you want,” he offers, and Gonta’s out of bed before he even finishes his sentence. A sheepish smile makes its way into Gonta’s face, and Shuichi nudges his side. “Souta makes a mean pot of coffee, too.”

And as his family greets Gonta with enthusiastic smiles and offers of food and the morning news, Shuichi doesn’t bother stifling his grin.

*****

“C’mon, man, you can’t just stay under the umbrella the whole time,” Sozui huffs, crossing his arms, and Shuichi glances around to make sure there aren’t any little kids nearby as he flips his brother off. He’s not getting sunburned today, thank you very much. With a sigh, Sozui turns to Gonta. “Big bro, you gotta help us out here, we need you guys for Marco Polo.”

Shuichi snorts and leans his head on Gonta’s shoulder. “Too bad for you, then. Gonta would never betray me,” he teases, and Sozui raises an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. When Gonta remains silent next to him, not even a hint of a nod, Shuichi hesitantly sits back up. Gonta narrows his eyes playfully and slowly reaches down to take hold of the sunscreen. “Gonta,  _ no, _ do  _ not, _ I will run off this beach.”

“Shuichi worried about burning, Gonta can fix that,” Gonta says, barely stifling a laugh, and Shuichi puts his hands up placatingly. Gonta leans forward, tilting Shuichi’s face just a bit closer, and who could blame Shuichi for letting his eyes flutter shut? He flinches back, though, when the cold sunscreen hits his nose, giving Gonta the most betrayed look he can muster. Gonta just laughs, unabashed and not hidden by his hand, and Shuichi can’t help but smile. “Here, turn around, Gonta will make sure your back not get burned.”

Sozui whoops as Shuichi turns, and Shuichi flips him off again. “Thank you, Gonta,” he says, trying not to flinch at the cold sunscreen as Gonta rubs it into his back. Shuichi rolls his shoulders back, and Gonta’s hand glides up to his shoulderblades; he arches his back into Gonta’s touch, humming as Gonta helps cover the back of his shoulders in sunscreen. “That actually feels kinda nice…”

“Hurry up and get in the water!” Sachi calls from the shoreline, and Shuichi snorts, shooting everyone a thumbs-up.

Once he’s completely covered up, Shuichi glances over at Gonta. “Are you coming?” he asks, and Gonta nods, but he fiddles with the hem of his shirt. Shuichi rubs a hand over Gonta’s shoulder and gives him a soft smile. “Y’know, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s perfectly fine if you’re not comfortable, I won’t let them tease you or anything.”

At that, Gonta reaches up and gives Shuichi’s hand a squeeze before standing and taking his shirt off. “Gonta gonna be just fine,” he says, and Shuichi beams at him. They run down to the shoreline, and Shuichi’s met with a splash of water from Sen, who sticks her tongue out at him, and he splashes her right back. A massive wave of water smacks his back, and he whirls around to see Gonta grinning sheepishly at him. “Whoops…”

“Oh, it’s  _ on, _ Gokuhara,” Shuichi says, and Sachi joins him in tossing some water in Gonta’s direction. Aya hands Sachiko off to Sotan and lends a hand to Gonta, and Sachi gawks at her, glaring playfully. Shuichi ducks under the water as Gonta sends another splash in his direction, and he’s very nearly tackled under the waves again as Souta leaps at him. Shuichi shoves him off and splashes him, laughing. “Hey, hey, that’s a foul!”

“Rules don’t apply in the wild west,” Ma drawls in an over-exaggerated accent, and she cups some water in her hands, tossing it at Sachi. She squawks and sends some right back, and Sen swims up behind Gonta, an impish sort of grin on her face as she dumps some water down his back. Shuichi stifles a laugh behind his hand as Gonta jumps, and Ma tuts. “Really, now, down the back? I thought I raised you better than that.”

Shuichi high-fives Sen and splashes some water at Aya, only to be whisked up and out of the water by Gonta. He squeaks, embarrassingly enough, as Gonta lifts him up with one arm and grins up at him, like the action is effortless. Shuichi attempts to keep his balance as best as he can by leaning down and looping his arms around Gonta’s neck. Gonta tosses wave after wave towards Ma, Souta, and Aya, and as they all cry betrayal, Gonta grins at them.

“Nah, Gonta on whatever side Shuichi on,” he says, and Shuichi goes bright red, though he does manage to kick some water towards Souta. Gonta lifts Shuichi up higher, presumably to keep him away from the water, onto his shoulders, and Sotan claps, handing Sachiko off to Pa, who shakes his head fondly at the lot of them. Shuichi laughs; that poor kid’s getting passed around today like a hot potato.

“Let’s play some chicken! Aya, c’mere,” Sotan says, hoisting his wife up on his own shoulders, and she laughs, head tossed back. Gonta looks up at Shuichi for an explanation, and Shuichi shrugs. His siblings have played chicken before, but he’s never wanted to join in, so he never bothered paying attention to the rules. Sotan shakes his head. “Right, so, first one to fall off their partner’s shoulders into the water loses.”

That sounds about right. Sozui counts them down from five, and Shuichi braces himself, momentarily losing concentration as Gonta plants a hand on each of his thighs to help steady him. Gonta steps forward, and so does Sotan, and Shuichi reaches out to shove Aya’s shoulders, but she catches his hand. With her free hand, she goes to poke his side, but Gonta shifts back enough so that she can’t, and Shuichi grins.

They charge forward again, and he actually ends up knocking Aya back, and she takes Sotan with her, both of them topping into the water. Throwing up his arms in the air triumphantly, Shuichi cheers. Gonta lets him down and sweeps him right back up in a hug, and Shuichi laughs, forehead pressed against Gonta’s. This is the most fun he’s had on a family trip in years.

“We won!” Gonta says, and Shuichi grins at him. Shuichi’s gaze flicks down to Gonta’s lips and back up again, but just as he leans in, a spray of water hits the two of them, and Shuichi sputters as Gonta puts him down. Gonta lets out a laugh, and Shuichi sets his annoyance aside to admire him. Gonta’s got such a great laugh, and there are those sharp teeth again, and the way his eyes crinkle up at the corners is so...pretty.

“You’re gorgeous,” he says breathlessly, without thinking, and Sozui promptly shoves his head under the waves.

*****

Once Shuichi is sufficiently clean and dry, he settles next to Gonta on the living room couch, leaning into his side. Pa’s telling a story he’s told a hundred times before, but Gonta’s completely enraptured, gasping and laughing at all the right times. Idly, Shuichi laces their fingers together, rubbing his thumb over the back of Gonta’s hands.

Gonta has such nice hands, too. Not just the way they look, but how gentle they are. How strong they are. His nails are painted, surprisingly enough, and Shuichi glances over at where a few of his sisters are sitting, two of whom are currently painting Souta’s nails. That explains why it looks so messy. Shuichi bites back a smile and looks up again; he should probably pay attention to which part of the story Pa’s at in case he goes off on a tangent.

But when he  _ does _ look up, Ma waves at him, beckoning him into the kitchen. Shuichi gives Gonta’s hand a quick squeeze before standing to follow her. She probably needs help with cooking, given that Sen is currently preoccupied with helping to fix the stitches Sotan drops as he knits. When he steps into the kitchen, though, the food is already prepared.

He tilts his head at her, and Ma shuts the partition between the kitchen and the living room, effectively giving them complete privacy. “I wanted to talk to you about Gonta,” she says, and Shuichi feels his face go red. He’s got no clue what she might say; Gonta gets along really well with everyone, so surely this can’t be anything negative, right? Ma smiles at him, tears in her eyes. “Honey, he’s perfect. Not just for you, in general.”

At that, Shuichi snorts, though he doesn’t bother to hide his grin. “Yeah, he’s pretty great, isn’t he?” he hums, and Ma cups his face in one hand. Shuichi supposes that he should just be honest--he’s not exactly about to lie to his mother about how he feels. “I-I really like him, Ma, I just...I hope you guys like him. You like him, right?”

“I think I might like him more than I like you, actually,” Ma teases, both hands on her hips, and Shuichi rolls his eyes. A much softer expression on her face now, she nods. “We do. I don’t think I’ve ever heard your sisters so enthusiastic about  _ anyone _ coming to visit since I brought the English voice of Ariel to come visit.”

Shuichi laughs, running a hand through his hair. “Y’know, I was actually kind of nervous to bring him over the first time,” he admits, and while it’s for totally unrelated reasons to his actual feelings now, it’s still true. “I just didn’t know if you guys would get along. Or if the twins would say something stupid to him about the way he talks. He gets enough of that crap from his parents.”

Ma immediately goes on alert as soon as the words leave his mouth. “Are you joking?” she asks, deadly serious, and Shuichi shakes his head. Honestly, he doesn’t mind if she goes a bit ‘mama bear’ on Gonta. He could use one. Ma sighs, but she gives Shuichi a soft smile anyway. “Well, that just makes me want to give you this even more.”

She digs in her pocket and holds up a little gold band, and Shuichi goes bright red. “W-Woah, Ma, don’t you think it’s a little early for—”

“I’m not telling you to  _ propose,” _ she huffs. Shuichi lets out a relieved sigh. For a second there, he’d actually thought that’s what she’d been about to suggest. Ma hands him the ring and closes his fingers around it, giving his hand a few pats before drawing her hand back. “It’s your grandfather’s ring. You can use it as a promise ring. Or do whatever you kids do these days.”

Shuichi lets out a small laugh at that, and he pockets the ring. He doubts he’ll ever get to do anything with it, given that it’s probably out of the realm of possibility for Gonta to reciprocate Shuichi’s feelings, but he still deeply appreciates that Ma would even consider giving him a family heirloom, let alone actually entrusting it to him.

“Thank you,” he says, and she pulls him into a hug. He clings to her and she rubs his back; it’s a nice feeling. In truth, Shuichi’s a little terrified. He has no clue if or when his feelings might surface, or how he’ll deal with the aftermath. “Really, Ma. Thank you.”

“I know we haven’t been around too much for you growing up,” she says, her tone nothing but apologetic, and Shuichi just huffs out a sad laugh. Ma pulls back from their hug, patting his cheek gently. “I mean it. But we’re here now. And I know that can’t make up for lost time, but we’d love to be as much a part of your life as you’ll let us. You’ve grown up so much—into such a beautiful person. I’m so proud of you, Shuichi. And I’m so glad you found someone who clearly treasures you for all that you are.”

Shuichi feels tears prick at the edge of his vision. It’s probably true, even if Gonta doesn’t have romantic feelings for him. Gonta’s so open and loving; Shuichi has no doubts he treasures their friendship. Which just hurts even more. Shuichi can’t tell him, he can’t risk ruining the friendship they’ve built, a friendship that means so much to both of them. And maybe, if he’s doing his job right as Gonta’s friend, he’ll be able to get over the way he feels.

Instead of voicing any of this, he just smiles and nods. “Thank you,” he says again, and Ma gives his arms a squeeze. Shuichi runs his fingers over his pocket nervously, but he nods and follows her back into the living room. He settles back down on the couch, and at Shuichi’s distracted expression, Gonta furrows his brows. Shuichi presses a kiss to his cheek, lingering for a second to murmur in his ear. “Just helping with dinner, nothing big.”

Gonta smiles and laces his fingers through Shuichi’s; he’s relieved that Gonta’s initiating the affection this time. Shuichi’s never definitively sure whether his touches are welcome. Of course, he doesn’t doubt Gonta is fine with it, but Shuichi is terrified of crossing any lines or borders that Gonta might have. He leans into Gonta’s side as Pa continues his story—a mystery as to how he’s not already done yet—and Gonta smiles down at him.

This is pretty nice.

After dinner, they all gather around the TV to watch another movie, this one about an alien trying to find its way back to its home planet. Shuichi’s pretty tired already, and by the time the movie’s over and the popcorn’s been eaten, he’s about ready to pass out. Evidently, the younger kids have already beaten him to the punch.

Sen hoists Seiko up as Sozui takes Saki, and Sotan mumbles a goodnight as he picks up both his kids to carry them to bed. Shuichi’s about to do the same, but Pa frowns at his phone and speaks up before he can. “Damn, looks like a storm’s rolling in,” he says, a worried frown on his face, and Shuichi feels a pang of fear through his chest. Pa just shrugs and claps a hand on Souta’s shoulder. “Anyways. Don’t stay up too late, kiddos. That means you, Sachi.”

She rolls her eyes but gives him a thumbs-up anyway. Gonta glances down at Shuichi, nudging him gently with his shoulder. “Shuichi feeling tired?” he asks quietly, and Shuichi nods. To his surprise, Gonta hoists him up into his arms and stands, and Shuichi goes bright red, burying his face in the crook of Gonta’s neck. He’s  _ really _ never going to live this one down. Though, it does sort of seem like everyone’s too tired to tease them. Gonta carries him all the way to their room and sets him gently on the bed. “Shuichi should get comfy first, Gonta will come sleep in a minute, okay?”

Shuichi hesitates. He reaches out to take hold of Gonta’s wrist, gnawing at his bottom lip. Surely, carrying him to bed isn’t something that a strictly platonic friend would do, right? Maybe Gonta having feelings for him in return isn’t as preposterous as Shuichi had brushed it off as. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest, and as he scans Gonta’s face for any sort of irritation at the fact Shuichi’s kind of holding him hostage here, he sees nothing but innocent curiosity.

He could tell him. Shuichi could tell Gonta everything, right here and right now. There’s only one more day of spring break left, after all, so even if Gonta’s completely and utterly disgusted by what Shuichi has to say, he would only have to deal with Shuichi for another day. Then Shuichi can take the fall for everything, and he can let it go.

But there’s fear in letting go, isn’t there…? The feelings that Shuichi has for Gonta, they’re concrete and  _ real, _ and Shuichi doesn’t want them to go away. He doesn’t want to give them up, not at all. And maybe that’s selfish of him, maybe it’s absurd, but it’s hard to bring himself to care too much about being selfish when Gonta’s standing there, face made soft and almost divine in the soft moonlight drifting in from the window.

“Gonta, I have to tell you something,” he says breathlessly, before he can stop himself, and Gonta nods for him to go ahead. Shuichi’s grip on Gonta’s wrist tightens for a fraction of a second, but he lightens up on the pressure right after. How is he meant to put everything he’s felt, everything he  _ feels _ into some measly sentence? How can Shuichi even begin to express how grateful, how honored he is to have Gonta in his life? “I love spending time with you, a-and I don’t want it to just be platonic anymore. I have feelings for you—romantic ones...ah, I’m not that great at this, my bad…”

Gonta’s eyes go wide, but then they narrow a bit, like he’s confused. Shuichi feels his stomach churn with uneasiness as Gonta tilts his head. “Is...Shuichi joking?” he asks, his tone a little off, but Shuichi’s too busy trying not to throw up in his mouth to pick out exactly what emotion is accompanying his words. He just looks helplessly up at Gonta. “I-It just that...that what Shuichi said when we started this. F-For how fake relationship started. I-Is Shuichi not joking?”

Jumping on the out, Shuichi lets out a nervous laugh. “Ah, y-you got me,” he says, and Gonta’s shoulders fall a bit. Shuichi blinks rapidly, trying his hardest to talk around the lump in his throat. “Y-Yeah, no, I don’t...I don’t know why I thought that would be funny.”

“Is okay,” Gonta says, though he won’t look Shuichi in the eye. God, Shuichi’s completely bungled this. Gonta  _ knows _ he’s not joking, doesn’t he? To his surprise, though, Gonta just sits on the edge of the bed beside him, fidgeting with his fingers. “Shuichi wanna get to bed…?”

Right. They should probably get some rest. Shuichi nods and tucks himself under the covers; he can’t help but shudder as a mortified kind of hot flash spreads over him. Gonta hands him that ladybug print hoodie without even thinking, and while Shuichi’s tempted to say it’s fine, that he doesn’t need it, he kind of really wants it. He doesn’t want to keep pretending like there isn’t enough room on the full size bed for them to not be cuddled up together.

The hoodie is the next best thing.

Shuichi tries to shut his eyes and sleep, but that mortification keeps coming back. What if Gonta knows he hadn’t been joking, and he’s only pretending to be oblivious to preserve what little shreds of dignity Shuichi has left? What if he doesn’t even want to  _ speak _ to Shuichi once this whole thing is over? What if—?

No, it’s no use bothering with ‘what if’s. Shuichi will just have to take whatever happens as it comes. His only hope is to keep Gonta in his life as much as he can; Gonta’s a huge source of joy and sunshine in Shuichi’s life, and he doesn’t want to lose that. Ever. Not over his feelings, not over this stupid plan, not over anything. He’ll bend over backwards if he has to, if it means he won’t have to lose Gonta.

His breath hitches as Gonta’s arms wrap around his middle, and Shuichi swallows the lump in his throat that’s decided to start rising again. “Wh-What’s up?” he asks, a little surprised at how shaky his own voice is.

“Is because of the storm, right? It raining,” Gonta points out, and Shuichi registers the slight  _ pitter-patter _ of droplets hitting the window. Ah, damn. Another thing to worry about. He nods, glad to be provided yet another out, and Gonta hums, hugging Shuichi just a little bit tighter. “It okay. Gonta will protect Shuichi, okay?”

“Okay,” he says, bottom lip trembling, and Gonta hums again. “Thank you…”

“Of course,” Gonta murmurs, reaching up to brush Shuichi’s hair away from his face. “Gonta not like feeling scared either.”

Shuichi settles into Gonta’s arms. “I hate being so afraid,” he mumbles, though for a completely different reason.


	33. In The Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, here we are, the last chapter!!! you've all been so wonderful, and i truly appreciate each and every comment, kudos, and bookmark. i really hope you enjoy this last part to what has been a crazy year's worth of writing :D enjoy!!!

The next morning is painfully awkward.

At least, for Shuichi it is. Gonta seems just fine, albeit a little more stiff than usual. Every time they do much as brush hands, Shuichi has to stop himself from flinching. Gonta hands him a cup of coffee—of course it’s just how Shuichi likes it—and gives him that sunshine smile, but all it does is make Shuichi’s stomach churn with a mix of guilt and nerves. He’s still just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It’s only made worse by the fact that it’s been storming all morning. The rain falls heavy across the windows, the shutters rattling as high winds hit the beach house. Shuichi can’t be sure whether or not his non-stop trembling is from his fear of the storm or his fear of rejection. He sits in the very center of the kitchen with his coffee, sipping it every so often. Everyone’s too groggy this morning to talk to him.

Everyone except Gonta, that is. “Shuichi feeling okay?” he asks quietly, and Shuichi just nods, still staring into his coffee. He doesn’t want to make Gonta worry; he doesn’t really deserve that, does he? Gonta leans into his side just slightly, smiling. “Is okay if you scared, just know Gonta here to protect you.”

“Thanks,” he says, voice just as shaky as his hands, and Gonta smiles, brushing Shuichi’s hair from his eyes. Today is going to be the death of him. Shuichi just sips some more coffee, and if his hair falls back in his face, he’s not about to fix it. Sen comes into the room and stops once she sees him, crossing her arms. Shuichi looks up from his coffee. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re being weird,” is all she says before heading over to the fridge, presumably to either get something to eat or make something for all of them to eat. Shuichi just slumps down in his seat a little more, tapping his fingers on his mug. Sen clicks her tongue as she shakes a jug of orange juice. “Seriously, man. What’s up?”

Shuichi just shakes his head. Sen’s not usually one to tease, but he really doesn’t feel like telling her his mood is completely the storm’s fault. He’s had enough of lying to the people he cares about. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, and Sen looks between him and Gonta, an eyebrow raised. Shuichi gives a slight shake of his head again, and Sen then tilts her head towards the window. He just shrugs. “I’ll be just fine.”

He doesn’t want to talk about it. He shouldn’t talk about it. He should just be grateful that Gonta had given him an out and leave it at that. Shuichi doesn’t want to do anything else. What else  _ is _ there to do about this? Gonta puts a hand over his and gently pries his fingers from around the coffee mug, caressing the back of Shuichi’s hand with his thumb.

Shuichi feels his chest fill with warmth, and he hates it. “Shuichi, you not have to talk about it if you not want to, but...if you do,” he says, trailing off, and Shuichi nods. He tries to give Gonta a smile, but he’s pretty sure it comes off as more of a grimace. The thunder outside claps, and Shuichi jumps, heart pounding. Gonta puts his free arm around Shuichi’s shoulders and pulls him closer, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Is okay, Gonta not let anything happen to you, he promise.”

Shuichi’s never been more grateful for thunder.

A bit later, Ma decides they should all play a rainy-day game, and Shuichi opts to sit out, instead watching as Seiko and Saki draft Gonta for their Scrabble team. He nurses at his second cup of coffee of the day as Gonta plays a clean ‘diurnal’ for a triple word score, much to Aya and Pa’s chagrin. The girls, although they probably have no clue what the word means—not even Shuichi does, after all—cheer loudly and tackle Gonta in a hug pile.

This is nice. It’ll be less nice, of course, when Shuichi comes home for the summer with no boyfriend in tow. Which, he realizes, especially sucks because he’ll be leaving Gonta with his awful parents. Maybe he could convince Gonta to keep up appearances during holidays, just to keep him out of that lonely place. No. No, that would be out of line. Totally not okay, completely selfish, what is he even  _ thinking? _

Shuichi desperately wishes he were still wearing Gonta’s hoodie. It smells just like him, and it’s almost as warm. But they’d already packed their stuff, given that their train back is a little later this evening, and Shuichi hadn’t wanted to inadvertently steal something of Gonta’s again. He’ll just have to settle for his own less warm, non-meadow-smelling sweatshirt.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” Aya grumbles as Gonta plays another scientific term that Shuichi’s not entirely sure any of them are capable of pronouncing. Gonta looks back at Shuichi with a huge smile on his face, and Shuichi gives him a shaky grin in return. The only effect it has is dampening the sunshiney expression on Gonta’s face. Neither Aya nor Pa seem to note anything about the exchange, though. “Ugh, there’s no way we win at this rate.”

Shuichi glances over towards the windows; it looks like the rain has stopped for a bit. At least there’s that, if nothing else. And, honestly, he should probably stop moping and treasure this last day with Gonta. He won’t have as many of those soft smiles all to himself anymore after today. So Shuichi shakes off most of last night’s humiliation and mortification, and he leans forward, giving Gonta a quick kiss on the cheek.

He’ll be just fine.

*****

“Shuichi, are you sure you’re not hungry?” Sen asks for the third time in five minutes, and Shuichi nods, sipping on his fourth cup of coffee. His appetite isn’t exactly the greatest right now, and he’s not about to be both nauseous  _ and _ anxious. Sen shakes her head. “You know, Ma’s going to have a fit if she hears you haven’t eaten anything.”

Nodding, Shuichi takes another sip of coffee, and Gonta gives him a worried glance. “Shuichi, maybe that too much caffeine,” he says, and Shuichi swirls around the little bit of coffee left in the mug. Gonta’s probably right. He sets the last of it down on the table and checks his phone, brow furrowing when there aren’t any notifications. He knows he’s not the most popular guy, but he’d been hoping for a distraction. Gonta nudges him. “You okay? Shuichi seem little bit distracted is all.”

“Oh, no, yeah, I’m fine,” Shuichi says, tucking his phone back into his pocket. His fingers meet cold metal, and he startles. He’d completely forgotten about that. He feels his face flush, and he clears his throat, running a hand through his hair. With a strained smile, he turns to Gonta. “By the way, did you see the photos that Tsumugi sent? They’re pretty great, you look really handsome in them.”

Gonta’s cheeks flush a little, but he pulls his phone out and, presumably, checks the group chat for the photos. Shuichi watches as Gonta’s face lights up, a warm smile spreading across his face as he looks at the photos. Gonta looks up at Shuichi, and he looks like he’s about to say something, but Pa raps on the doorway with his knuckles and leans in before he can. “Hey, Gonta, can I borrow you for a second? We’re gonna go close the shutters before the rain starts up again, and we could use someone tall,” he says.

“Okay, no problem,” Gonta says, and Pa nods before leaving the kitchen doorway. Gonta puts his hand on Shuichi’s shoulder and squeezes gently, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his head. Shuichi smiles sadly, giving him a light wave as he leaves.

Now it’s just him and Sen in the kitchen, the only noise between them being that of the boiling water on the stove. She turns towards him, an eyebrow raised. Shuichi raises one right back; he’s not in the mood to talk. Nonetheless, Sen steps away from the stove and settles down across from him at the kitchen table.

“Alright. Spill. Something’s up,” she says, that no-nonsense look on her face, and Shuichi just shakes his head. He’d just resolved to ignore what had happened last night, he’s not about to start focusing on it again. Sen snaps her fingers in front of his face, and Shuichi smacks her hand away. “Shu, you can’t do this, you’re just gonna make it worse if you don’t talk about whatever’s happening with someone. Doesn’t even have to be me.”

Drumming his fingers on the edge of the table, Shuichi debates it. He could tell her everything about their situation; it’s not as though Sen’s a bad secret-keeper. If Shuichi tells her that what he says is not to leave this room, it’ll stay hidden. But he can’t do that. Not without asking Gonta first. And he wouldn’t want to break Gonta’s trust like that. Ever.

“I’m gonna go for a walk,” he says, tossing his hood up, and Sen’s eyes go wide. Shuichi stands, shoving his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched.

Sen grabs his wrist to stop him. “Are you insane? There’s a storm,” she says, as if Shuichi’s not perfectly aware, and Shuichi shrugs her off. “Shuichi, the rain is starting back up in, like, twenty minutes, do  _ not _ go outside.”

With a sigh, Shuichi debates staying in. But he  _ does _ need to clear his head, and he’s hopped up on caffeine, so he’s bound to make stupid decisions. “I’ll be back in ten,” he says, and he leaves without letting her say another word.

It’s chilly outside, and though the sidewalk is damp with the remnants of the earlier rain, Shuichi doesn’t really mind. He doesn’t really mind it when the puddle he steps in dampens the edges of his sneakers, either. He lets out a huff of breath, scratching at the back of his neck as he keeps going. Shuichi’s not entirely sure of  _ where _ he’s going.

He just needed to get out. That house is too much, his family is too much, his  _ feelings _ are too much. Shuichi kicks a rock on the pavement as he takes a deep breath. There’s no reason to be this upset. He’d known that this was a possibility. No, scratch that, he’d  _ expected _ this. Shuichi hadn’t thought his feelings would be returned, even if he’d hoped that maybe, just  _ maybe _ there would be a slight chance that Gonta would actually feel the same.

That maybe they could just  _ be.  _ In that ideal world, they wouldn’t have to worry about fabricated breakups and fake dates with their friends, they would just...be. What he wouldn’t give to feel Gonta’s lips on his, not for a charade, but for no reason in particular—because they  _ can _ and they  _ want _ to. The idea of it when Shuichi  _ knows _ Gonta doesn’t feel the same...it’s bittersweet, but Shuichi just can’t stop thinking about it. He can’t help it, though every time he so much as enjoys one of their painfully fake kisses, he feels like an awful person.

And, Shuichi supposes, he is. Not only for dragging Gonta into this whole mess—no, they’ve both made their peace with how terrible a decision that had been—but for actively trying to hide the fact that he has feelings for Gonta. Logically, he  _ knows _ he has no right to keep this going, he  _ knows _ this should stop, that he’s being selfish, that he should finally pull off a breakup and let Gonta be free of this incredibly stupid plan, but his heart aches at the thought of having to end what little they have. Shuichi is so desperate for any dregs of affection he can get his hands on, and he knows that’s not healthy, but by God, he’s  _ pining, _ and their situation just makes everything so much worse.

Gonta’s such an incredible, wonderful person. He deserves so much better than Shuichi’s selfish ass. He doesn’t want to put Gonta through any more of this. Gonta’s kind to a fault sometimes, in a way that Shuichi constantly worries himself over whether he’s truly overstepping Gonta’s boundaries. Obviously, his feelings mixing with their charade does, but it’s normal stuff, too. It’s him not even having to mention something about himself twice before Gonta’s already embedded it in his memory, it’s him mentioning that he likes horror movies and though Gonta’s scared, he still watches them with Shuichi, it’s the knowledge that Gonta would probably do just about anything if Shuichi asked him to, and that thought terrifies him.

That kind of power over someone,  _ especially _ over Gonta makes him nauseous. So many people take advantage of him without even hesitating or being  _ aware _ of it, and Shuichi hates that he’s let himself become just another box on that checklist.

It’s not as though Shuichi could provide anything beneficial in their relationship. Sure, he doesn’t let Gonta talk bad about himself, and he does his best to remember Gonta’s interests and hobbies, things like his favorite bug—a hercules beetle—or all of that little stuff they’d talked about at the beginning of all this chaos, but the bar would be on the floor if that’s the standard for considering someone romantically.

Shuichi wants to be someone Gonta could be proud of; the kind of person who does selfless stuff without thinking, the kind of person who switches on the nature channel without thinking because it’s Gonta’s favorite, the kind of person to make coffee in the mornings for when Gonta wakes up grumpy—because he always does, he’s the most endearing non-morning person Shuichi’s ever met—someone that could treat Gonta with the respect and adoration he truly deserves.

As it stands at the moment, Shuichi’s not sure he’s that person. He’d give anything to be that person. Someone who could love Gonta the way he should be loved.

Somehow, he finds himself on the beach, looking out over the ocean. The wind starts to pick up a bit, so Shuichi moves closer to the shore. The sand can’t dust over him now. He keeps walking along the shore; he doesn’t want to go back to the beach house just yet, but he’s also not entirely sure how much time has passed.

Shuichi suppresses a shiver as another gust of wind blows by, and his stomach churns as the light overhead dulls. It’s about to start raining again, which means he’s probably been out for about double the amount of time he said he’d be out for. Someone’s probably going to come looking for him soon. Great. Perfect. That’s just what he needs.

A few droplets hit the top of his hood, then his nose. He looks up, shoulders slumping as he gets hit directly in the face by some more rain. Bottom lip trembling, Shuichi debates whether or not it would be worth it to have a full-on breakdown on the beach. He could probably cry right here and right now, and he could blame his puffy eyes on the seawater, blame his tears on the rain. It would be pretty easy, too. This could be the perfect outlet for his emotions.

Then, there’s a clap of thunder, and the sky lights up not even a mile away, and Shuichi jumps, heart pounding out of his chest. Fuck. He doesn’t know where he is, and he doesn’t know how to get back, and now he’s stuck on a beach in the middle of a storm. The anxiety in his gut grows tenfold, and he clutches at his arms as the rain pours down around him.

The waves crash violently on the shore next to him, and his sneakers squelch as he turns and walks in the opposite direction of where he’d been going. If he just retraces his steps, he should be fine, right? Shuichi hears the thunder clap again, and he jumps, breathing getting a bit more rapid. This is such a stupid fear, but the wind whips his hoodie off his head, and his skin goes slick and slimy with rain, and Shuichi lets out a shaky sigh.

_ “Shuichi!” _

He squints, and his breath catches in his throat as he spots Gonta’s silhouette jogging toward him, hand waving in the air. “Gonta, what are you doing out here?!” he calls, yelling over the roar of wind in his ears and the new clap of thunder that echoes across the horizon, his hands going even shakier than they already had been.

Gonta stops in front of him, shrugging off his suit jacket and making a canopy of it over Shuichi’s head. “Shuichi not come back when he said he was gonna, and rain started up again,” he explains, talking a bit more loudly than usual over the rain. “Gonta got worried! Gonta said he would protect you, so Gonta came out to look for you!”

“You don’t have to do this,” Shuichi says, voice trembling, and Gonta just smiles at him. Now Shuichi just feels even guiltier. Here’s Gonta, out in a storm that Shuichi had stupidly gone straight into, just to make sure he’s okay. Shuichi squeezes his eyes shut and presses his hands to Gonta’s soaked dress shirt. “Gonta, I lied to you last night. I-It wasn’t a joke.”

He figures that now, it doesn’t really matter anymore. Gonta deserves to know the truth. Gonta looks confused at first, then his eyes go wide, his cheeks going red. Shuichi decides to look at the ground instead. Shuichi doesn’t know if he’ll be able to look Gonta in the eyes when he gets rejected for real.

“Shuichi...you mean it?” Gonta asks, barely audible, and Shuichi flinches at the next flash of lightning. Unfortunately, he’s now looking directly at Gonta. “Shuichi...have feelings for Gonta?”

“I do,” Shuichi says, already feeling that familiar prick at the edge of his vision, “I’m so sorry.”

And there go the tears. He should stop; he doesn’t deserve Gonta’s sympathy. “How long?” is the next thing that leaves Gonta’s mouth, and Shuichi figures he’s at least owed some answers.

“Since your birthday,” he answers, gnawing at his bottom lip, and Gonta’s breath hitches. As he looks up at Gonta again, Shuichi can’t decipher the expression on his face. “Gonta, I’m so sorry, I promise this won’t change anything, you don’t have to feel obligated to say anything o-or feel the same way—”

Shuichi is cut off by Gonta’s lips on his, and he gasps at the feeling of Gonta’s hands clutching at his face like a lifeline. Hesitantly, Shuichi reaches up to loop his arms around Gonta’s neck, ignoring the fact that his tears are starting to sting his skin as the wind blows past. His eyes flutter shut, and he pushes back against Gonta, desperately trying to memorize every second of this moment. Gonta holds him even closer, his suit jacket completely discarded behind Shuichi on the beach as Gonta threads a hand through the back of his hair.

Everything else melts away—the rain, the wind, the lightning—and there’s just  _ Gonta. _ The feel of his hands, the warmth of his body, the soft pliance of his lips against Shuichi’s. Breathlessly, Shuichi pulls back, jumping at the thunder that booms oh-so-close to them. Gonta’s worried gaze scans over his face, and Shuichi glances up at him in return.

“Gonta should get Shuichi back inside,” he murmurs, but he just leans back down, gently pressing their lips together again. Shuichi lets out a shuddering breath, tilting his head just slightly to lean into the kiss. When he pulls away again, Shuichi gives Gonta a nervous smile, eyes flicking back and forth between each of Gonta’s own.

“What about you?” Shuichi asks, voice shaking, though this time, it’s out of nothing but excitement—good nerves. Gonta tilts his head in that silent question. “How long? I-If you, um, actually feel the same, I-I’d get it if you didn’t, I…”

“Shuichi tasted like rum and cherries, and Gonta realized he like kissing Shuichi no matter what he taste like,” he says, voice soft, and Shuichi’s face flushes. That kiss from so long ago…Shuichi gnaws at his bottom lip at the memory of it. Gonta leans his forehead against Shuichi’s, and they both cringe at how gross the rain makes their skin feel, bursting into laughter a moment later. Gonta looks at him with nothing but soft wonder. “Gonta never thought Shuichi could…Gonta never thought  _ anyone _ would…”

Heart sinking, Shuichi reaches up to caress Gonta’s cheek. “You’re so  _ wonderful, _ Gonta,” he says with his whole chest, and Gonta lets out a shaky little laugh. Shuichi pulls him down into a tight hug, clutching at his back. “You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met, and I...Gonta, I can’t imagine wanting to be with anyone else.”

Gonta’s about to say something, but another clap of thunder makes Shuichi jump away. He’s pulled out of the moment; the wind is worse now, the rain falling even harder. Both of them are absolutely soaked, and Shuichi can feel the panic start to rise. Gonta’s hand finds his, and Shuichi looks up at Gonta with wide, scared eyes.

“Gonta will protect Shuichi no matter what,” he says firmly, shaking the sand from his suit jacket as he picks it up and covers Shuichi with it.

Breath hitching, Shuichi stands on his toes to kiss Gonta again. “I think I’m in love with you,” he murmurs against Gonta’s lips, and Gonta’s eyes go wide.

“Gonta in love with you too,” he says, not even leaving a second of room for Shuichi to feel anxious, and Shuichi kisses him again.

There’s a bit of desperation in the kiss, but for the most part, it’s nothing compared to the warmth, light, and contentment that Shuichi feels.

*****

As Shuichi settles in the booth on the train, Gonta leans down to give him a kiss, and Shuichi scrunches his nose up in joking concentration as he does. They’re both dry and clean now, at least; Shuichi’s in that ladybug hoodie and Gonta’s wearing a knit sweater Sotan had given him before they’d left. He looks really good in it, too.

When Gonta sits down next to him, Shuichi joins their hands, twirling that little golden band around Gonta’s finger. A promise. “D’you think anyone would believe us if we told them how we actually ended up getting together?” he asks, and Gonta hums.

“Prolly not,” he admits. Shuichi grins, leaning up for another kiss. “Gonta not wanna change anything about it, though. Well—maybe how long it took.”

“You’re telling me. I could’ve been wearing your sweatshirts since New Year’s!”

“And Gonta could have kissed Shuichi during laser tag!”

“Oh. I forgot about that. Yeah, no, you win.”

“What Gonta’s prize gonna be?”

“I would say it’s a kiss, but you’re welcome to have as many of those as you want, any time.”

“Gonta like the sound of that.”

What a perfect, wonderful mess they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there you have it folks. and they lived happily ever after :)

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is always welcome :)


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